Home Invasion

XX

The hovercraft tilted a little as Ron shifted his weight to one side, peering over into the blue waters of the Mediterranean Ocean passing by beneath them. After a moment, he raised his head up and closed his eyes while the wind whipped through his hair. His red and white-trimmed shirt, along with his long-sleeved black undershirt – the same outfit he had worn for countless years – billowed and undulated against the force of the wind.

Shego laughed as Ron attempted to lean back a little, inadvertently letting a stream of wind worm its way beneath his shirt and sent it whipping up over his head. She had been watching him enjoy the ride ever since they left Cyprus, like a dog sticking its head out of the side of the car. There had been a few opportune moments where Shego felt a sudden, stabbing urge to give the hovercraft a sharp tip and send Ron flying off the side and into the ocean, but she decided it would be both mean and dangerous at the speed they were going.

It was strange to wrap her head around. She was actually refraining from playing a cruel and hilarious prank on Kim Possible's sidekick; maybe she was going soft. Maybe some of the nagging doubts in the back of her mind were more insistent than she had realized. Perhaps the lull in her recent supervillain activities was not just due to laziness of lack of interest in leadership and henchman management; maybe, even if she had taken longer to accept it than Drakken, she was beginning to reconsider her priorities in life.

Shego rolled her eyes in amusement. What a ridiculous idea. Sometimes she had a vivid imagination.

"I can't believe that guy didn't shoot us," Ron shouted over the roar of the elements.

The man to whom Ron was referring was the yacht owner, who had walked in on the two of them in his bedroom. Judging by the rush of angry words that came from his mouth, Shego had gotten the impression that he had been intending to spend a day of luxurious relaxation on the open ocean, and had been very unhappy to notice that someone had broken onto his dock and ransacked his boat. Shego couldn't have cared less, but the fact that the man was also carrying a loaded pistol had been enough to catch her attention, at least.

"You haven't lived unless you get a gun aimed at you once in a while," said Shego. "You'd know that if you weren't such a do-gooder, Stoppable."

"Um, I've had guns aimed at me all the time," said Ron. "And lasers, and doomsday weapons, and freeze rays. Also mutant weiner dogs, sharks, sharks with lasers-"

"Okay, okay. I spoke too fast, sheesh! Still, you gotta admit, sex in a yacht that's not yours gives you a little bit more of a thrill than sex anywhere else."

Ron's only reply was a deep blush.

It took Shego a moment to realize that the comment sort of implied that she made it a regular practice of having one night stands on yachts that weren't hers, and while Shego was no prude, she wondered if the image was a little unflattering. Ultimately, however, she didn't really care.

All the talk of last night was reminding Shego that she really had to make things clear to Ron as well. After all, it was a one night stand. Ron had a bit of dorky charm sometimes, like Drakken did, and Shego had only recently begun to admit that she had a thing for that, but he could also be immature and petulant, also like Drakken. He wasn't prime relationship material.

Even if he was, the fact remained that he was Kim Possible's sidekick. Ex-sidekick, judging by the way Kimmie had left the other day. He worked alongside Global Justice, he had foiled her plans multiple times and helped Kim send her to prison in the past, and she had even tried to kill the two of them before. It was true that she treated it as a sort of game, and she had the feeling Kim had often felt the same way, but it was a game with very real consequences, and she and Ron did not play the same side.

Last night had been a surprisingly enjoyable fluke. A fluke which she could use to dig at Kim Possible if she ever needed to, but that was as far as it went.

Shego was wondering when to make her feelings clear to Ron when the hovercraft cut through a cloud bank and her island lair came into view far below. She began to throttle back a little, letting the hovercraft descend as the island drew nearer. She'd probably end up letting Ron know last night was a one time thing as soon as he got ready to leave, just in case he got whiny or clingy. Easier for both of them that way.

The island drew closer as the hovercraft descended, and the details of individual buildings grew more clear in the morning sunlight. Shego pressed a button on the control panel and tried to radio Midas to let him know they were incoming, almost as an afterthought, but there was no response from the island. Not that it was unusual; it was still early, and half the time neither Shego nor her henchmen would be up before noon. The hovercraft approached the inner courtyard connected to the living quarters of Shego's island lair, and as Shego guided it down for a landing, she noticed that the glass sliding door leading into the lounge area was still shattered. Her lips curled in annoyance; Midas was being even lazier than usual.

"Sooo," said Ron as the hovercraft touched down, "What kind of plans do you have for today?"

"Hold on, Stoppable."

Ron had jumped off of the hovercraft, but Shego landed beside him and put a hand on his shoulder before he approached the entrance to the lounge room. She took a few steps closer while Ron stood in place, trying to get a better look at the lounge's interior. The foosball table still lay scattered in pieces, along with broken glasses from the bar. None of her henchmen had made any attempt to clean things up after the fight caused by Kim and Ron's arrival. It still wasn't that surprising, but Shego's sixth sense was beginning to rumble. Something just seemed off.

"Shego!"

Ron's warning came too late. Shego felt herself trip and fall as she turned around, as if her shoelaces had been tied. She looked down and found her feet were glued together with a glob of Drakken's adhesive invention. In front of her, Señor Senior Senior stood in the courtyard with a smirk of triumph. His son and daughter-in-law stood beside him, and he was holding the high-tech pistol that Shego had used to restrain Kim and Ron when they first arrived on her island.

"I found it lying inside of your lounge room and, thanks to my foolish son's inability to restrain himself, discovered how it operated quite quickly," Senior explained. "It is a fascinating device, is it not?"

"Um, yeah, that's why I have it, idiot."

Senior frowned and ran a hand along his graying hair as if to shrug off Shego's comment.

"There is no need to be rude, young lady."

Junior took a dramatic step forward and crossed his beefy arms as he stared confidently at Ron. It was clear that he had been waiting for his father to finish speaking before taking his turn. "Well, well, well," he said as he looked over his opponent. "We finally meet again, Ron Stoppable. It has been far too long."

"Dude, we saw each other two days ago."

"Oh." Junior scrunched his brow as he remembered the events of the previous day. "Oh yes."

Senor Senior Senior cleared his throat loudly.

"Yes, father? Would you like a glass of water?"

Senior tilted his head insistently in Ron's direction as he stared at his son.

"Oh, right."

Junior turned back to Ron and began to circle him slowly as Bonnie started to approach on Ron's other side. The two of them looked like somewhat ludicrous tigers, approaching their prey as stealthily as possible before pouncing in a flash of overly tanned skin. Judging by her unexpected fighting pose, Ron was beginning to wonder just what Bonnie had been learning on the Senior's private island. He braced himself for their attack and began to wonder if fighting them would mean he was on Shego's side.

Ron's speculation was cut off as both Bonnie and Junior rushed at him in a pincer movement. Junor reached him first, and Ron blocked several blows only to be forced back into Bonnie, who wrapped her arms around him from behind and held him in place.

"Get him, honey!"

Oh my God, thought Ron. This is both bizarre and terrifying.

Junior leaped forward and let out a yell which, if Ron wasn't mistaken, was lifted directly from Bricks of Fury II. He felt the air knocked from his lungs as Junior planted a solid kick in his chest. Bonnie tried to hold him still in her clutches, but the force of the kick was enough to send them both toppling backwards. Bonnie found herself just as winded as Ron when his weight landed directly on top of her.

"Owww!"

"Oh man," said Ron as he got up, "are you okay?"

Frightening memories of accidentally running into Bonnie in high school hallways rushed through Ron's mind as Junior rushed over to help his girlfriend up. Bonnie grimaced and held her left hand up in front of her, fingers extended, as she inspected a broken fingernail.

"Sorry my little Bon Bon – I suppose we did not plan that so well."

"That's alright," said Bonnie as she turned to Ron with a snarl. "You'll pay for my nail, dork! Literally, this manicure was three hundred dollars!"

Bonnie screeched and charged Ron with a ferocity that made him take a few steps backwards. At the last moment, he regained his confidence sidestepped Bonnie's attack, grabbing her and throwing her off balance onto the courtyard grass. Junior was on him before Bonnie even hit the ground, and Ron found himself fighting back a series of karate chops. Junior had picked up a few moves since high school. But then, so had Ron.

"Not bad, Stoppable!"

Ron tried to concentrate, tried to reach into the depths of himself and bring out that mystical power that sometimes appeared in desperate moments. Fighting Junior was not exactly a desperate moment, but Bonnie and Junior still raised their eyebrows in surprise when Ron's body began to surround itself with a faint blue aura. It was not enough to do any major damage, but it was enough to give Ron more of an edge. Junior and his girlfriend backed away temporarily as Ron flexed his muscles, ready to do battle.

"This I have not seen before," said Junior. "What is the meaning of these blue colors?"

"Let me show you," said Ron.

Junior and Bonnie attacked in another pincer movement, but Ron managed to knock both of them back with simultaneous punches. Bonnie reeled, and Junior held his jaw and winced at the punch. Although there was something cathartic about punching Bonnie after all the abuse she had piled on both Kim and himself in high school, Ron still felt a little guilty about hitting a girl. Instead, he leaped at Junior with a flying kick which sent his opponent staggering back further into the courtyard.

The two began to trade blows, and while Junior was holding his own, Ron steadily drove him back, not even noticing the slate-lined pond approaching. Junior stumbled, but just before he lost his balance and fell backwards, he managed to grab Ron by the arm and pull him into the pond as well. The two of them hit the water with a loud splash and grappled as they surfaced again.

"Junior, sweetie, are you okay?"

Junior scrambled to find footing beneath the pond as he and Ron repeatedly knocked each other beneath the surface, grappling ineffectually. Bonnie flinched and backed away as pond water splashed against her face. And it didn't look like regularly maintained pond water, either.

"I am fine, Bon – glug – on the verge of – ack – subduing Stoppable at this very moment!"

"Enough!" shouted Shego.

Junior and Ron struggled in the pond's water, sending water lilies flying left and right and sloshing water over the gray slate walkway that wrapped around it. Ron's monkey power seemed to agitate the koi in the pond, which nipped harmlessly – but somewhat uncomfortably – at his skin as he wrestled with Junior. Even while he was fighting, Ron was surprised at how noticeably unsettling it was to be bitten repeatedly by toothless fish lips.

"You do not stand a chance, Ron Stoppable!"

The fight's spectators watched as Junior and Ron began to devolve from wrestling and punches to slapping and hair twisting. Bonnie was just about to drag her boyfriend out of the water in disgust when a piercing voice rang out across the courtyard.

"ENOUGH!"

Junior and Ron paused in mid-slap, standing waist deep in pond water. Señor Senior Senior, who had been absorbed in the somewhat embarrassing fight between his son and Kim Possible's scrawny sidekick, looked down to discover he was no longer holding the adhesive goop gun.

"This is mine, grandpa."

Shego removed the gun's cartridge and threw it away, deciding it was too boring to restrain her opponents. It had taken her a few minutes to break free from her bonds, but she had been able to melt the adhesive glue binding her feet with her hand's plasma powers. They melted almost anything, given enough time.

"Alright," she said as she shook the remnants of the runny goop from her ankles. "Now, I'm getting used to unannounced guests this weekend, maybe even getting attacked by those unannounced guests. But I just watched the three of you," she said pointedly to Bonnie and the Seniors, "and I could wipe the floor with all of you in about ten seconds. So before I do that," she said as her hands lit up threateningly with crackling green flames, "Maybe one of you would like to explain to me why you are here, and why you just attacked us?"

"We were about to enter your lair through the lounge room," said Junior, "but we saw the damage and thought perhaps we were walking into a trap. Then we hid in the bushes when we saw your hovercraft approaching and surprise attacked you!"

"Yeah, I noticed. But why are on my friggin' island?"

Señor Senior Senior stepped forward. "We are aware that you have stolen a shipment of something from your old supervillain employer, Doctor Drakken. We thought we would infiltrate your island base and take what you have stolen for ourselves, but clearly we are a little out of practice," he said with a polite nod. "Perhaps we should have introduced ourselves more properly a long time ago, as we are neighbors."

Shego stared at the old man, amazed that he could be so charming after sneaking around in her island and ambushing her when she was just trying to come home. By all rights she should have been attacking him, but Shego felt her violent urges draining away. Not to mention that, although Junior had been part of the ambush, she still had a certain fondness for him after the time she had spent training him in the ways of supervillainy years ago. Clearly she had been an inspiring teacher.

"Well, F.Y.I, I stole cupcakes from Drakken, okay? Cupcakes! I don't know what in the world you thought you were going to find, but there's nothing of value."

"Surely you can't be serious," said Senior. "Cupcakes?"

"Don't call her Shirley," said Ron as he climbed out of the pond. His face whitened at a glare from Shego.

"Shut up, Ron."

"After all the trouble you have taken in order to steal from your old employer, surely you do not expect me to believe that you only stole cupcakes. I thought perhaps a shrink ray, or some kind of technology related to cloning. Drakken has an interest in such things, does he not?"

Senior could tell by Shego's narrowed eyes that cloning was not a reasonable guess.

"Fine, but cupcakes? Why would you steal such a thing?"

Shego felt Senior's questions begin to stoke the flames of her rage again. She could not formulate a clear reason for it, although she knew that Kim and even Ron had made a few guesses about her motivations that hit a little close to home. And her personal motivations were none of Senior's business, anyway.

"They're just really good cupcakes, okay? And how exactly did you know I stole them, anyway? Are you spying on me?"

"Do not tell me that you have not been spying on us," laughed Senior. "Are you not still a supervillain? Let us be reasonable here."

Something about being asked if she was still a supervillain gave Shego a pause. Senior, of course, would not expect Shego to answer the question in the negative, but what was her answer? She still had henchmen. She had the island, the experience, and she wasn't some tight-laced law-abiding citizen like Kim and Ron. And yet, the question threw her. Senior had inadvertently set off a light bulb in Shego's head – Kim and Ron's arrival had done the same thing, for that matter – and the light was revealing a lot of hidden confusion and doubt. Maybe Shego didn't know what she was anymore.

Either way, thought Shego as she cleared her mind of existential angst for the moment, Senior had a point about the spying. Shego was well aware of the Seniors and their own island lair, and did in fact have a satellite trained on them even if she hadn't checked it out in a while.

"Okay, so, fair point with the spying. But anyway, they're just cupcakes. Come look for yourself!"

Ron and Señor Senior Senior followed Shego through the broken glass door and into the lounge area as Bonnie fished her boyfriend out of the pond and trailed behind. Shego pointed to the Cupcake Containment Chamber, which was still sitting in the center of the lounge. There was no sign of Midas or any of her henchmen, even after the fight. Probably still asleep. Shego would have to give them a piece of her mind, even though she knew she hadn't been making much of an effort to whip them into shape lately.

She glanced into the open metal box and saw that, fortunately, there was a single box of cupcakes left over. It was a miracle that her henchmen hadn't consumed it already. Although it was embarrassing to admit, Shego supposed it was a miracle that she hadn't eaten the cupcakes, with the rate she had been eating them lately.

"See?" she said as she fished the box out and waved it in front of Senior. "Cupcakes, okay?"

"Can we try them?" asked Junior.

"Yeah, whatever."

Shego opened the box and grabbed one for herself, eating the entire thing in one bite, before passing another one to Ron. Bonnie and the Seniors each took one of their own, curious as to just how good they could cupcakes could possibly be to merit such attention from Shego.

"I still say mine are better," said Ron as he took a bite of his cupcake. "Don't get me wrong, these are pretty good, but nobody tops the Ron man's baking skills."

"I am skeptical," said Junior as he took his first bite. "This taste, it is jumping in my mouth like a party! You should bake some so that we may taste test them." He leaned closer to Ron as everyone else dug into their cupcakes. "By the way, I hope there are no hard feelings with the fight. Just business, you see. My father simply will not give up on the supervillainy business."

Ron shook his head. "It's all good. Old habits die hard. And it was sorta my fault he got into it anyway."

Shego smacked the crumbs from her hands before looking around the room for a moment, and then back at her new guests, still finishing their cupcakes. "Alright," she said. "So next time, maybe just ask me if you are interested in what I'm stealing. I doubt I'll tell you, but at least you won't be risking your lives by getting on my bad side. Now, I need to figure out why my henchmen aren't around, so if you don't mind, the three of you can scram. Like, now."

Ron looked at Bonnie and the Seniors and did a quick mental count. Three did not include himself.

"So you don't want me to leave yet?"

"No. You can stay for..."

Shego paused, and as Ron watched, the green tint of her skin seemed to grow just the tiniest bit greener.

"Ate that cupcake too fast?"

Shego shook her head.

"No, I think I just... errghhh..."

Ron watched Shego begin to stumble a little, and noticed that Bonnie and the Seniors were looking a little green around the gills as well. Come to think of it, he wasn't feeling so well either. Maybe Junior had landed a few of his hits out in the courtyard a little harder than Ron thought. His vision began to blur as he felt himself growing weak in the knees, and he took a few tentative steps towards the lounge room couch. Probably he just needed to sit for a moment. The haze increased, and a few figures appeared in the lounge room. One of them... Ron blinked. The figures grew closer.

Looks like Shego's second. Midas. He could be angry if he found out...

Hands grabbed his arms, and he felt himself moving.

Better not tell him... Shego in the yacht... jealous...

Ron's last act before losing consciousness was vomiting on Shego's leather couch.

XX

Eggs, bacon, and sausage crackled on a skillet as Monique hummed a vague, happy tune. She only had a couple of classes, and there was more than enough time for her to enjoy the morning. Which, now that Kim had returned, was just what she intended on doing.

Monique attempted to give eggs in the pan a flip, which would have worked except that it sent one of the sausages rolling off to the side of the stove. She was decent at cooking, but she definitely had to work on the reflexes; that was one area where Kim could pull off some amazing kitchen stunts, even if she always complained about her culinary skills. Kim did not like to cook, which was one reason Monique was making breakfast; another was that Kim was still in bed, sleeping a little late after the night before.

Guess I didn't give her much of a chance to relax after her mission, Monique thought with a grin.

Monique turned around and gave a brief shriek of surprise at seeing Kim seated at the kitchen table.

"What, my morning hair is that scary?"

"No," laughed Monique, "I totally did not hear you coming in. You walk like a cat sometimes."

"Meow?"

Kim's timing was perfect, as breakfast was just about finished. Monique dished the food out onto two plates and passed one to Kim as she sat down on the other side of the table. The food looked excellent, but Kim looked at it a little disappointedly.

"I guess I could have gotten breakfast in bed if I had stayed there just a little while longer."

"Yep," said Monique as she took a bite of her breakfast, deciding - with as much humility as possible, of course - that her cooking was totally off the hook. "Ah well, your loss! Now eat it before it gets cold."

Kim obediently dug in, and Monique watched her girlfriend happily. All her insecurities had been falling away ever since Kim had appeared in that bakery, back from her mission, and Monique was beginning to feel silly that she would ever have entertained the idea of Kim leaving her for Ron. Steve and Paul had tried to talk sense into her, after all, but she was too wrapped up in her worries, her jelling – whatever it was – to really listen to them. Not to mention that even that Hank Perkins character had been surprisingly insightful.

Still, although her insecurities were gone, Monique still felt the nagging sense of guilt that had plagued her all weekend. She was in a good mood, but the very fact that she was in a good mood seemed to irritate that buried guilt. Monique couldn't help asking herself if she was happy because things hadn't worked out between Kim and Ron. She supposed she was happy that they hadn't gotten together, even though it was a ridiculous worry to begin with, but she wasn't so happy that they were still estranged from each other.

Kim had told her a little about what happened over the course of the mission before they went to sleep the other night. Monique knew that Kim still cared for Ron, and the very fact that Ron had gone on a mission with her showed that he cared for her as well. She wished the two of them could be friends again, even if maybe it wouldn't be quite the same as before. It would make Kim even happier, and Monique would enjoy seeing him around again. She could imagine his enthusiasm at seeing Steel Toe and Pain King in the ring, trying out their new Mexican wrestling-inspired outfits and moves, enjoying a little Bueno Nacho with Ned after the match.

It was just too bad that reality was more complicated than that.

Kim had just finished her breakfast when her cell phone rang.

"Who is it?" asked Monique, wondering if Kim's hesitancy in answering meant that Ron was calling.

"I don't recognize the number," Kim said as she decided to take the call anyway. "Hello?"

"Hello, Kim. This is Betty Director."

"Oh, hey."

"You weren't answering your Kimmunicator, so I found your cell number."

"Yeah, I didn't really feel like talking about the mission, and I knew you or Wade would be on my case about how I left Shego's island in such a hurry. And, by the way, I'm not interested in helping Drakken anymore."

"That's not why I called."

"Oh? What is it, then?"

"I was hoping you would come meet with me at the Upperton Global Justice headquarters."

"I don't think I'm interested in another mission right now."

"No missions. At least not right now. I just wanted to talk."

Kim sighed as she paced the living room.

"Alright, fine. What, you wanted to meet now?"

"If that's alright with you."

"That's fine," said Kim. "I'll be there in a little while."

Monique watched, still eating the last couple bites of her breakfast, as Kim pocketed her cell phone and gave an apologetic look that was almost overpowering in its cuteness.

"Mon, I know it sucks that I have to go again, but hopefully this won't be a big deal. And I promise I won't be going on another mission. We'll hang out later, okay?"

"No prob," said Monique. "You go enjoy yourself."

Kim scoffed as she went out the door. Monique got the impression that she was not anticipating an enjoyable meeting with Dr. Director, but then, it wasn't like Kim worked for Global Justice. She was just doing Wade and Global Justice a favor by going on that mission in the first place, thought Monique – they should be grateful. Whatever Dr. Director had to say, Monique didn't mind her girlfriend going away for a little while. It was Monday, and she would be going to a couple of her classes later, after all.

Monique frowned as she thought of classes. Kim had classes too. Had she asked to have time off if her mission went over the weekend? She didn't remember Kim saying anything about it. But then, her girlfriend was far too responsible to be missing a whole day of classes. Monique shrugged as she turned on the kitchen sink and began to clean her plates, listening to the sound of the faucet water mixing with the familiar revving of the Sloth's engines as Kim pulled out of the parking lot outside.

XX

"Possible?"

Steve Barkin stared out over his economics class. He had just been about to start, and he didn't normally take roll – he had gotten tired of student complaints that it wasn't high school – but not seeing that familiar red hair had thrown him off. This was the first time Kim had been late to his class, and he had been looking forward to her opinions on the chapter they would be going over. Kim Possible always had interesting insights, even if she was far too compassionate and mushy towards the have-nots for his taste.

"Kim Possible?"

A boy towards the back of the class coughed and raised his hand nervously.

"What is it?" Steve growled.

"I think I saw Possible earlier," said the boy. "She was all, like, leaving campus and stuff, sir."

The boy let down his hand and took a big bite out of the cupcake he had on his desk while Steve frowned at the sight. He was getting a little tired of his students bringing in those cupcakes all the time, from whatever that new place downtown was. He always thought cupcakes were overrated, anyway. Too much frosting, too dainty. Although he'd make an exception if it was a cupcake that Stoppable baked.

"Alright," he said as he turned to the blackboard. "Everyone turn to this week's chapter and BE QUIET!"

As he wrote a few keywords on the blackboard, Steve wondered if Possible was back on track with her missions. Even if it interfered with her course work, Steve couldn't help but feel a little excitement by proxy at the idea. He would defeat the great villain of economic ignorance over the next hour and a half, while Possible would defeat... well... some ridiculous looking deviant in a circus costume, probably.

It was the way things should be.