Chapter 3:

The tour of the home was…brisk.

Built by the Capitol, its shell held all the grandeur of my former residence; mahogany pocket doors, artisan carved crown molding, marble counters, aged walnut flooring. Yet, the furnishings, the very heart of the house, were of cheap lumber, simple design, and no apparent attempt at symmetry. Each room was an odd collection of mismatched pieces, curated seemingly without much thought to scheme or placement. It seemed as though my room was the only one that was given any real thought or attention to such matters.

Left to unpack my bags, I was glad of the company when Posy wandered in. She sat on the closed lid of the toilet and watched me arrange the glass bottles of my skin care products on the counter, wondering aloud why I should need so many. It took only a moment for her to warm up to me, and I realized at once that she was a relentless chatterbox. She had thousands of questions about the Capitol and they all came pouring out one by one in a rush of child-like curiosity and innocence. Giving her vague answers, I tried to only tell her what I assumed she already knew. I couldn't say why, but I had the distinct impression that her eldest brother would not appreciate me regaling his sister with all the wonders of the Capitol.

When Hazelle called Posy down to set the table, I only had my intimates left to put away. There was no way I was pulling those out in front of the inquisitive six-year old. They were the only items to occupy my dresser. Never the less, I arranged them according to color. To say I had a fondness for pastels would be an understatement and I only owned one matching set of black lace. Shoving the pair all the way to the back of the drawer, I cringed inwardly at the bitter sweet memories they always evoked. That set had only been worn once… the night I lost my virginity to Marco Appleton. What a disaster that had been! All the build up of an unrequited crush, years in the making, culminating in our first 'real' date… followed by rather hurried and lousy lovemaking. The actual act had been quite a let down. Quick, unsatisfying, and a bit painful. It was only after, that I realized most of the things that attracted me to Marco where imaginings of my own design. I had spent years building him up in my mind into someone he could never hope to be. Such a painful lesson to learn. Though not nearly as painful as the lesson his scoundrel of an older brother, Ronson, had taught me. My blood always boiled at the very thought of him. Needless to say, I had thrown out the pair I had worn the night I willingly slipped into his bed. He was scores better at lovemaking than his little brother, but a cruel prick all the same.

I was untangling the straps of my lacy peach bra and jeweled mint one, lost in my thoughts, when a sharp knock on my open door resounded. I looked up to see both Gale and Rory in my doorway, staring with rapt attention at the bras in my hands.

Gale cleared his throat, casting his eyes anywhere but on me, "Uh, dinner's ready…" his low voice rumbled and trailed off, as he looked over at his younger, though only slightly shorter brother. Rory's eyes were trained on me, and he was losing the fight to keep his gleeful smirk from his face. My skin crawled at the lecherous look he was giving me. Unable to keep his smart mouth shut he announced,

"Those are nice." Surely the blood drained from my face. The little perv! I tossed the tangled heap into the open drawer and slammed it shut. A merciless blush crept up my neck, and set my cheeks ablaze.

"Rory!" Gale barked, while elbowing him hard, and shoving him from the room and into the hall. My nose wrinkled in disgust, and I quickly slipped past them and fled towards the stairs. As I made my decent I distinctly heard Rory's delighted and bawdy tone,

"I mean, did you see the size of them!"

"Knock it off!" Gale menaced, and then I heard scuffling, and thumping in the hallway. No doubt they were wrestling. This was confirmed a few minuets later when Rory arrived at the dinner table with a ripe rug burn on his cheek. Hazelle sat me at the head of the table, and I nearly choked on my water when Gale took the seat opposite me at the other end. I adverted my gaze to the side, cursing my body as another heated flush crept up my neck in a wave of mortification.

Hazelle had made roasted potatoes, onions and carrots, and a small roast beef. I scooped a helping of veggies onto my plate when passed to me, and took a slice of bread out of the breadbasket. I pondered if this was a typical meal for them, or if this was a special occasion meal. Hazelle started to serve me a slice of roast beef,

"Mmm, none for me, thank you," I took the warm tray from her and passed it to Vick. She looked at me stunned. Even Haymitch had a concerned frown.

"Are you sure, Arie? There's plenty, and…" I realized she thought I refused because I was afraid there wasn't enough to go around. I cut her off at once,

"Uh… no, I just… " how to explain this, "Well… I don't eat meat."

"Come again?"

"I don't eat meat?" it came out the second time as a question, I quickly prattled on, "I haven't for years actually. It's, ah… just a lifestyle choice… in the Capitol."

"How nice to have that choice." Gale spat from the end of the table, my eyes drawn to his glare. His bitterness was palpable.

"I just never cared for the texture," I prattled on quickly diverting my gaze from his cold eyes, from everyone's eyes. The thought of chewing on flesh had never sat well with me, but I kept that to myself. For all I knew, they ate their dead here. I realized at once how insulted they all felt at this choice of mine. There was no need for them to take it personally, but never the less they did. I attempted to smooth over the situation as best I could, "But really Hazelle, everything looks wonderful, and smells delicious. And even though I don't eat meat, I have been told I'm quite good at cooking it, so if you ever need a hand in the kitchen, I'd be more than happy to help."

"Oh, that's sweet. No worries at all dear, I really should have asked if you had any… dietary needs." From the corner of my eye I saw Gale's jaw clench as his eyes bugged out in annoyance.

"There's really nothing beyond that," I tried to assure her, "But truly, I really do love cooking, so if you ever need help…" I tried not to let the desperation eek into my voice. Truth be told, I was addicted to cooking. It was the only thing that calmed me.

"Well, I just may take you up on that," Hazelle smiled, "Did you learn from your mother?"

"No! That woman couldn't boil water to save her life ," I smirked to myself, only to look up at six blank faces, clearing my throat, "No, I learned at school… it was my academic focus."

"Cooking?" Vick asked surprised, as he smeared goat cheese on his bread.

"Well, Culinary Arts," I amended with a smile.

"So… cooking." Gale bit out, from the end of the table, fork half raised to his mouth, clearly unimpressed with the title.

"Yes… cooking." I replied dryly and a bit deflated.

"Well, I'm sure you'll get on great with Peeta, he has a certain flare for culinary arts…" she tried out the term, "…if I do say so, I'm sure he'll want to pick your brain," Hazelle went on, "They'll all be over tomorrow for dinner… along with Peeta's parents, and Iris and Prim."

"Oh, yes, Iris is your sister, right?" I asked, remembering a clip from one of Katniss' interviews discussing her cousin, Gale. Apparently they were quite close.

"Well…no.." Hazelle, looked to Haymitch.

"Oh, I thought…" I glanced at Gale, and the glare he was giving me caused my words to die out.

"That was just a story they told the Capitol." Rory announced, his mouth full of food. Disgusting. "It made it seem mooore ap-proop-riate" his Effie Trinket impression was spot on, "for Katniss' best friend to be a guy… you know, as long as he was family."

"Well, that's stupid." I blurted without thinking.

"Why's that?" Gale snapped.

Suddenly the whole table was looking at me. I couldn't very well tell him the truth. Namely, that it's widely assumed in the Capitol that many in the districts are born from inbreeding. The story of a male best friend, cousin or no, would incite rumors regardless. No… I certainly couldn't tell him that. So I gave them the second reason I thought it was dumb:

"My best friend growing up was a male… it's not really uncommon."

"Oh, what was his name?" Posy chirped up with a smile. 'Best friends' was a favorite topic of hers, it seemed. I learned this after listening to her rank her entire kindergarten class in order from 'Bestest Best Forever Friend' to 'friend', earlier in the afternoon. Apparently, even the girls she didn't seem to like still received the label 'friend'. I had not had a similar experience at her age. Girls didn't like me at all then, and I certainly didn't like them either. I only really had one friend growing up….

"Marco," I answered.

"Is he handsome?" I smiled. What a girly and childish thing to ask.

"Yes," I gave her a little wink, and she beamed.

"Did you ever hook up with him?"

"Rory!" Hazelle hissed, as Gale kicked him under the table. What. A. Creep. He was going to require patience of the most taxing kind.

"We did date, for a while," I bit out as he rubbed his shin, "… but it didn't work out."

"Why not?" Posy asked crest fallen. No doubt she had had time enough to imagine a great love story in the making.

"It just wasn't meant to be," I took a sip of my water and tried to sound casual, "He's dating my friend Elsa, has been for a while. They're quite serious, I think." My attempts at sounding happy for them fell flat.

"So he dumped you and dated your friend?" Rory asked, pointing his fork at me. So rude.

"That wasn't very nice of him," Vick piped in, shaking his head and looking affronted for me. So sweet. The only son of Hazelle Hawthorne, I liked.

"It wasn't exactly like that…" well, except, it kind of was exactly like that, but he needn't know that.

"Well, you're in good company," Rory eyed his older brother like he was prey, "Gale here always thought he'd end up with…"

"That's enough, Rory." It was the first that Haymitch had spoken the whole night. His voice was soft, but deadly serious. The authority of it caused a chill to run down my spine. Rory, closed his mouth instantly and shrugged looking down at his plate. The look on Gale's face was murderous, and the way he held his steak knife, grip tense and knuckles white, was alarming.

I nearly cringed. Even with the interruption, Rory had said far too much. It wasn't good natured ribbing between brothers that had just transpired. Rory had been going for the jugular. It all clicked into place. Gale loves his best friend, Katniss. An easy mistake to make, I knew all too well. And she had married another. I had watched the live broadcast of their wedding. It was the talk of the town for weeks on end. Many Capitolites had thrown lavish viewing parties when it aired. I had gone to Petra Cornwell's. And now, he lives across the street from the happy couple. This thought caused my breath to catch. How torturous. For only a moment, I began to feel sorry for him…

Though, it was easily forgotten. He would despise my pity anyhow. The awkward silence was broken when Posy announced,

"Rory has two girlfriends," Rory's head snapped up at this, his sullenness wiped away as a smug bravado replaced it. He looked at me as though I should be impressed.

"Well, Posy, girls are rather stupid at that age," I replied dryly.

At the end of the table Gale choked on his water, as Haymitch looked right at me and chuckled loudly. It caused my heart to flutter a little, and I couldn't help it as the corner of my mouth tipped up into a smirk. Why Haymitch laughing at my dumb joke should matter, I couldn't say. It just did. Even Hazelle was trying to hide her laughter. Posy and Vick both began to laugh as well… though a bit delayed, as they didn't actually understand why the four of us were amused in the first place. Posy suddenly erupted in a fit of giggles, just happy to join in.

"Yeah… those girls are stupid," she exclaimed through giggle fits, mimicking me. This set us all off into a new wave of laughter at Rory's expense. He'd survive it.

I glanced at Gale to see him wink at Posy, his features up lit in a generous and pure smile. Seeing it set off a new onslaught of flutters, though a very different kind than before. Good heavens, he was handsome when he smiled. White straight teeth, head cocked to the side, angular jaw, his eyes glittering… and the way the skin crinkled at the corners of his brown eyes… just handsome. I got the feeling that smiles like this were solely reserved for his cherished little sister. He didn't strike me as someone who smiled easily, and certainly not often. Perhaps that was the source of the allure. Rarity turns things precious.

Too bad he was a boorish lout.

The dinner conversation moved on to what the kid's did that day at school. Apparently they had been taken out early to come and meet me, and Vick now had to make up a quiz. I felt a little guilty that they went to all the trouble, and I realized at once that surely the roast beef was a special occasion meal. And I had refused to eat it. For the rest of the meal I felt horrible.

I helped Hazelle clear the table and wash the dishes, and they all looked incredibly surprised that I knew how to scrub a plate.

When my mother had gotten sick, our finances had been depleted significantly by her medical bills. I had dismissed the house staff in an effort to save money, but should have had them teach me what they did before they left. The first time I washed clothes by myself was an utter comedy of errors and a total disaster! But slowly I learned how to keep house on my own. I was quite domestic by now, and for some reason I really wanted to prove as much to them. I was no Petra Cornwell, or Necca Bick. Those frilly trollups would sooner die than lift a finger in work. That being said, I was used to modern conveniences, and this house had few of them. Luckily, Posy helped me dry the dishes and Vic put them away.

Gale helped Vick study for his quiz at the oak table while Posy braided my hair in the family room just off to the side, chattering away relentlessly. I didn't mind, I could listen to her endless ramblings for ages so long as she played with my hair. It had always had such a calming effect. Haymitch and Hazelle sat out on the screened in porch in the back talking quietly and drinking iced tea. At one point I glanced over and noticed their hands entwined. Why weren't they married? As I understood, they'd been together for almost two years.

Rory had disappeared after dinner, no doubt sulking, and I couldn't be more glad to be spared his presence. After an hour of having little fingers raked through my hair, my eyelids began to droop as I felt the effects of two days of traveling and overwrought emotions take me. I made cordial goodnights to Posy and Haymitch and Hazelle, and climbed the stairs to my bedroom, closing the door quietly behind me. I leaned against it for a moment, and breathed a long sigh. Already I was beginning to feel the four walls of this room as a sort of solitary refuge. Kicking off from the door, I walked over to the dresser and looked at myself in the mirror as I removed my earrings, dropping them carelessly onto its top with a clatter.

My mind instantly settled on Hazelle's oldest son, and the juxtaposition of his sour disposition towards me against his treatment of everyone else I'd met today. His companionable silence with Haymitch, his tender treatment and precious smiles with Posy, his kind guidance with Vick, and his loving and protective regard for Hazelle. All of it would suggest that he was an incredible person… but his blatant prejudice of me… could not recommend him. It was clear that he hated me. Or rather, hated what he felt I represented. Perhaps I was the object of his hate. I'd like to be able to pass it off on the government, or the total picture that is the Capitol… not the individual brush strokes that make up the portrait… because who could hate a brush stroke? But all of that was far away, and I was here. The physical manifestation of all that what was wrong with his existence. I couldn't help but wonder what had happened in his past to make him so embittered. Or if I would ever know.

I pulled the zipper down from the back of my dress as I kicked off my heels. Padding over to the closet, I let the garment drop to the floor as I opened the door. With a swift kick, I flicked the it to the back where it hit the closet wall and landed in a puddle of offending emerald. I yanked down one of the nightgowns I'd brought with me, the hanger clanging from the force, and made my way back to the dresser.

My mind was clouded with thoughts of my new life, my new family. If I was being truly honest with myself, this first day wasn't as bad as the cruel imaginings of my subconscious mind. For months and months dark dreams born from stress, grief and anxiousness had created far sinister images to haunt my spectral dreams. I wasn't delusional; I knew that nothing about my new life would be easy. The carefree days of my youthful past were long gone. But I couldn't deny that I had hope that all would eventually end up tolerable. I dropped the slinky nightgown on the dresser top as I reached back to unclasp my mother's necklace. I set it to the side of the dresser with all the care and reverence one would grant a precious memory.

Out of the corner of my eye a flash in my peripheral caught my attention. Reaching back to unclasp my bra, I turned toward the window and the blood drained from my face.

Across the expanse of night, I could see clearly into the up lit window above the garage. Standing, in the middle of the window, still clasping the string to the light, was the rigid figure of Gale. Starring back at me, his eyes wide, dark and unblinking. Frozen in mortification, my body refused to move as I clutched the sliding bra to my chest. The straps limped down my shoulders as my forearm across my breasts pushed them up.

I could only imagine what he saw when he looked at me. Mousy blonde hair hanging in wide messy waves about my shoulders and down my back. My lacy pink panties loosely hanging off my sickly looking hips. All my curves had turned to sharp angles, too sharp for any loveliness.

In a moment that lasted an eternity, we stood staring back at each other. The feeling of complete exposure was so debilitating that I couldn't move, couldn't breath, couldn't blink. A white hot flush worked its embarrassing way up my stomach and across my chest and neck. My mind flooded with irrational thoughts, so thick I could barley sort through them, barely hear them through the rush of blood in my ears, and the pounding of my erratic heart. Yet through all the chaos one repeating question rang clear… it's relentless purpose indignant as it asked over and over again, 'What must he think?'.

Our gazes still enlaced, dark and intense, I watched as his adam's apple bobbed up and down in a thick swallow.

That one motion was enough to propel me from my place, half naked in front of the bright window, against the wall beside it, hidden away from view, my chest heaving from the lack of oxygen as I finally allowed myself to breath again. For some reason, unknown, tears welled in my eyes. I lowered my arms letting my bra drop to the floor, as I reached an arm out for the cord to the shade. Even after lowered, I stayed in place against the wall, sucking in deep breaths, trying to understand all the emotions coursing through me. Mortification took first place, and rattled around my brain like a bolt in a tin can, drowning out everything else.

Calming myself, I walked quickly over to the light switch, glancing over my shoulder to ensure the blind was securely in place. I looked at it, wondering if Gale was still standing in the same spot behind it. Shaking my head, I flicked the switch, drowning the room in darkness, and all but jumped into bed, nightgown forgotten.

When reality finally released me, it was into a fitful and restless sleep absorbed by a pair of hate-filled, dark eyes.

(To be cont.)

Thanks for taking the time to read this! If you feel inclined, please share your thoughts. Feedback, good or bad, is always helpful!

Note: Victors is not abandoned, just still working on the next chap.