Strangeways, Here We Come
Security…
"What's my biggest turn-on?" came the question from the other side of the door.
Even though there was nobody around to hear her, he couldn't help but blush. "Really, Tonks? That's the security question you choose to ask?"
He knew this was coming; ever since Order members began confirming their identities when meeting each other, she had taken to the security protocol with zeal – mainly because she loved choosing wholly inappropriate and embarrassing questions.
"You know, your refusal to answer is only making me more suspicious!" she called out with a lilting tone. "Are you sure you're the real Remus Lupin?"
"For Merlin's sake... Fine!" he ground out, before looking up and down the hallway to make sure once again that there was no one listening in. "...You like it when I nibble your ear. Happy now?"
"Wotcher, luv!" she chirped, opening the door to her flat and pulling him inside. "And to answer your question, I think I'd actually be happier if you were nibbling on my ear right now."
"I don't think I shall, in protest," he mock-threatened, but was unable to stop himself from leaning down and giving her a peck on the lips in greeting. Then he pulled away slightly and sighed, "Must you ask such private questions whenever you're corroborating my identity?"
"It's because they're private that they're exactly what I should be asking!" she retorted with her hands on her hips. "Death Eaters aren't going to know what I told you after the first time we slept together, or when I first saw you naked, or what your wildest fantasy is!"
He winced at the memory of her having asked those questions. "No, I should hope not. But you know, there is a difference between private and intimate!"
"I stand by my reasoning."
"You just like to see me flustered, don't you?" he sighed, fully aware he was unlikely to win this argument.
"Well, I can't deny that," she admitted with a shrug. "It's a rather attractive look on you."
"One day these sorts of questions will backfire on you..." he warned, although internally, he had his doubts that anything would really embarrass Tonks enough to get her to stop.
She obviously agreed, as she merely smirked and said, "Until then, I think I rather like seeing you blush."
The questions did indeed continue afterwards, and he had given up hope that she would receive a taste of her own medicine, when one day from inside her flat she hollered, "Where in the Weasley house did we have a shag?"
"Oh, good Godric," he groaned, dropping his head into his hands. "Tonks, please, any other question but that?"
"Come on now, Remus!"
"...In the pantry," he gritted out reluctantly.
"See, was that so... hard?" she laughed as she threw open the door, only to trail off in horror.
The only redeeming moment for him was watching the look on Tonks' face as she realized that standing beside him was none other than a scandalized Molly Weasley. Perhaps she would learn that lesson after all...
Tee hee! This was a fun one. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it! ;)
Toodles,
- ish -