Chapter 8:

The Return of the Jedi-I mean Ash!

A/N: What's up guys? I am currently in Alameda, California enjoying my spring break and finally updating this story due to many demands after the Christmas special was such a hit! I've also got the Akatsuki here? Any words guys?

All: WHY THE HELL DID IT TAKE YOU SO LONG TO UPDATE?!!!

Me: Eeeeee! I'm sorry I've had a little case of writer's block! I realize how long it took-

All: WE'VE BEEN HERE FOR 3 MONTHS AND A WEEK!!!! UPDATE FASTER!!!!!!

Me: Wait, don't go! Who's going to do the disclaimer? …I guess I'll do it…

Me: I don't own any of the Naruto characters except for Ash and Nana.

Story Starts:

It was Monday. Everybody hates them. Especially for the Akatsuki because Monday is the first time Nana will have to leave them to go to work.

"I'll be back at 9:00p.m. guys, ok?" Nana told them.

"Gee, leaving 7 kids all alone what could possibly go wrong?" Hidan snorted as they remembered what Nana told them earlier this morning.

"Well what shall we do to pass the time?" Sasori asked his former organization members.

"Heh, heh, heh." Hidan chuckled ominously.

The boys sweat-dropped at Hidan's strange behavior.

"What the hell is wrong with you, un?" Deidara asked Hidan.

Hidan had a strange twinkling in his eye. "Now that the woman is gone we can watch a good old fashioned gory movie."

"What do you have in mind?" Zetsu's black side questioned.

Hidan walked over to the movie shelves and took out a case that had a shadowy figure on the case.

"It's a little movie I'd like to call 'Dog Soldiers'." He smirked. (Thank you for the suggestion gothicangel0827. Sorry it took me so long to bring it into the story.)

"What if we don't want to watch it?" Itachi said in a monotone voice.

"That movie wouldn't be worth watching unless it has money, mafia, and bank robbers." Kakuzu crossed his arms across his chest. "I say we watch Scarface."

"I think we should watch Earth." Zetsu's white suggested. "Or Jurassic Park." His black side countered.

"Fuck no!" Hidan shouted. "Those are all fuckin' lame-ass movies!"

"We're not watching that movie Hidan so that's final." Sasori confirmed.

Hidan pouted. "Fine. If you pussies don't want to watch that how about Cannibal Holocaust instead?"

"NO!!!" The six boys yelled at the Jashinist.

"Geez. Forget you fuckers." Hidan scowled.

"How about we just do something outside, un?" Deidara suggested.

"Anything to not watch Hidan's stupid snuff films." Kakuzu nodded at Deidara's suggestion.

So one by one the boys went outside to play. They enjoyed many games like kickball:

"Goddammit Hidan! Will you just throw the ball normally without mutilating yourself to do it!" Kisame shouted at Hidan.

Climbing a tree:

"I feel much more comfortable." Zetsu sighed with relief. "Thank god those idiots are too busy arguing with each other than be up here."

And the best of all sleeping under a tree:

Snnnooooorrrrreeeeee…

And during all this fun they had outside they encountered something-or to be more specific someone-unusual.

During their nap they heard a song out of nowhere sing:

"Wake up in the morning feeling like P-Diddy.

(Hiccup)

Got my glasses I'm out the door… something, something, something,

Tik tok, tok tik, tok tikky tok.

(Hiccup)

Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Then crash! That same something who was singing crashed into the tree they were sleeping under. This startled the boys as they immediately went towards the strange… person?

"Who the fuck is this?" Hidan raised an eyebrow.

The person they found was a girl with long, wavy, black hair now tussled after her crash landing in the tree. Her red blouse and black capris were also muffled up. Her face was completely red and smiling. A broomstick with a black handle laid beside her.

"…" were the boys reactions at the clearly drunk-off-her-ass lady.

"Someone wanna poke her to see if she's alive?" Deidara asked.

The girl stirred and rolled over onto her stomach, flattening her broomstick. The boys paused at the weird girl's display. Being the good boys that they are they left her there and went inside to eat potato chips.

7:02p.m.

After a few hours passed the girl finally woke up out of her drunken stupor and cringed at the pain in her head.

"Aw! Jesus! Why do hangovers have to hurt so much?!" She complained. She quickly looked at her surroundings took out a map and blinked.

"Huh, what do you know I made it the right house after all." She said. She searched the area again. "Now where are those criminal brats?"

Meanwhile the said ex-criminals where busy watching Hellsing completely forgetting about the drunk girl they left under the tree.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Kakuzu, door." Hidan commanded his stitch-less friend.

"Hell no." Kakuzu scowled.

"Itachi?"

"…"

"Fine I'll get the fucking door." Hidan growled.

He stomped over and opened it to reveal the drunk girl from earlier.

"Hey. Mind if I come in for a little bit?" She asked politely.

Hidan slammed the door in her face and went back to his 'friends'.

"Looks like the drunk girl is awake." He told them.

But before he could sit down a voice came from the kitchen.

"Y'know, it's not polite to slam a door in front of a guest."

The boys ran into the kitchen in a flash and noticed that the drunk girl lounging in a chair with her feet on the table.

"Who are you." Kisame demanded.

"And how did you even get in, un?" Deidara added.

The girl sat up properly andgave them a lazy look. "Unfortunately for me you guys are my latest assignment."

"Assignment? Are you a shinobi?" Sasori questioned.

The girl scoffed. "I wish. Let's just say I'm your guy's guardian angel… in a way."

"You?" Zetsu's white side raised an eyebrow. "I didn't know guardian angels would be inebriated drunks." His black side smirked.

The girl glared. "And this is what happens when I try to sugar coat it." She mumbled.

"Who are you really?" Sasori repeated his question.

The girl smirked. "If you must know,my name is Ash, I'm what you humans call a grim-reaper."

The boys stared at her dumb-founded. "Grim-reaper?"

Ash laughed. "I know hard to believe a hot, sexy thing like me is a gruesome bloody shinigami right?"

The boys didn't answer her.

Ash sighed. "Fine, I'll get right down to business. I'm the one who reaped your souls in your world and sent you back here to this one?"

The boys were shocked at her explanation.

"You're the reason we're here?!" Deidara exclaimed.

"Correctamundo." She nodded. "I had orders from my boss upstairs to give you guys a second chance at life. See my boss kind of felt grief over the causes of your deaths and decided to give you guys a second chance at life again. So you're welcome."

A million questions rose in each kid's head until Itachi asked one of them:

"Then why are we here, and like this?" He motioned their child-like bodies.

Ash sweat-dropped. "Yeah that was a funny mistake now that you mention it." She turned to them seriously. "There's no such thing as a free lunch so obviously being reborn had its price. Those kid forms of yourselves was the price."

"Ok, but that still doesn't explain why we're here in this world and not in ours." Kakuzu narrowed his eyes at Ash.

She smirked again. "You already outlived your lives in your world so we're giving you another in a different one."

"Are you telling us we're gonna be stuck as little fuckin' 7-year olds?!" Hidan yelled.

Ash said nothing.

"Answer us dammit!" Hidan growled.

"Nope, nothing." Ash responded. "Nothing at all."

The boys looked down at the ground distraught at the thought of having to grow up all over again. Until Ash laughed out loud.

"I can't believe you guys actually believed me there!" She wiped tears from her eyes. "You guys are so gullible-"

She was rewarded with all the boys punching her head giving her several goose-eggs on the top of her head.

"Geez, it was just a joke…"

"Tell us how to undo this!" The boys demanded.

"Alright." She sighed. "It's a classic tale of a maiden's kiss."

"…Huh?"

"You have to get a girl who's never been kissed before to kiss you on the lips in order to grow up again." She explained. "Nana Takemori happened to be one of those candidates in mind."

"That's all we have to do?" exclaimed Deidara. "Just get her to kiss us and we'll be back to our normal ages?"

"But," She went on. "This will only work once. And here's the problem. You must both equal feelings towards another in order for this process."

"But we're kids!" Kisame his jaw dropped in shock. "How the heck will she kiss if we're like this?!"

They looked towards Ash who disappeared. The boys heads searched frantically around the kitchen to where the female grim-reaper went and noticed she was already on her way out the door!

"Yeah I'm going to let you guys figure that one on your own." She smiled. "Ciao!"

She got out the door with the boys right on her heels following her into the outside of Nana's shrine almost catching up to her until she flew away on her broomstick into the darkness of the night with her teasingly waving at the pissed-off kids.

"COME BACK HERE, YOU DAMN WITCH!!!"

Chapter 8/End

A/N: Well how was that? I realize that I made the Akatsuki boys seem a little OOC but y'know bear with me on this that's it's kind of hard to keep them in character especially when it's so much fun to make fun of them! Anyways I promise I'll try to update a lot sooner, but in the meantime I'm going to enjoy my spring break a little longer. For those who live in California: Hi!