I want to let you know that this chapter is not written in the third person it's written in the first person.
Myka:
I was on Leena's, trying to take advantage of the day the same way I do after every mission completed. I spend all day in my room, trying to read a book, but several memories insisted on returning. I was trying to clear my head, but the feelings were stronger.
I had never imagined myself desiring another woman, let alone imagined a lesbian experience. It was afternoon when I gave up on reading my book and went to bed to try and sleep a little. I looked out the window and saw the canopy of the tree illuminated by the bright sun, wishing I could lose those thoughts and feelings.
The sensation of having Helena's mouth on mine was still fresh in my memories, with other memories, like the looks, smiles and laughs of Helena. Maybe the most marking memory aside from the kiss was the two days that I was sick and under Helena's care. I placed my fingers on my lips, feeling again the sensation of being kissed. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I turned my head in the direction of roof while I sighed.
Stop, stop thinking about that. Helena is only an interesting friendship, that's all. But, why am I so worried about that? A kiss doesn't mean anything, does it? Why does that make me so uncomfortable? Her lips seemed to be made of velvet… Stop Myka.
I was afraid to admit that I enjoyed that kiss. I was afraid to know another reality that wasn't the one I already knew, and I was afraid to enter a world other than the one I already inhabited. Okay, I can say I was used to this world, and I never thought anything like this would ever happen. I looked at the nightstand and saw my iPod, and decided to listen to some music, trying to relax a bit, or at least try to distract my mind from all the feelings.
I was afraid of what was surging from my soul, maybe I was scared to assume, or to understand, but I am so confused that I don't know what to think or do about it.
I was just trying to be happy, although I knew that it would be complicated because I always have the memories of Sam and the moments that I spent with him, in my mind. Perhaps I was never really in love with Sam, he was more like my refuge and today when I need him most, he is no longer here.
I think I lost myself enough in my thoughts fro I don't remember anything afterwards; I woke up the next day.
Helena:
I was in my private house, where I sought refuge either trying to think or just wanting time for myself. Yes, I confess I wanted some time for myself after having kissed Myka, (or was it her who kissed me? I don't know), something that shouldn't have happened anyway.
I may have had relationships with women, but I never wanted Myka to be part of that I just wanted her friendship, I could say that I learned a lot from her including some values that I swear I had lost. We may be alike but we always seem to have an opposite side. I don't know why I suggested that game, I should have known that it was not a good idea that it could ruin everything. Her friendship is priceless for me.
I tried to distract myself with some chores out in the garden and around the house, but the memories of her made me stop what I was doing constantly and I couldn't finish any of the chores that I started. Therefore I have to avoid those memories because the only other option is to avoid her and I don't wish to lose her friendship again. Either I have to avoid contact with her to stop things from happening, or I maintain frequent contact with her and risk something happening that will jeopardize our friendship and it (making her upset with me) making her away from me again, and this time forever. This is something that I don't want to take place because I would regret it, and there are already many great regrets in my soul.
It was late afternoon when I looked through the window in my sitting room, where I was trying to organize my book shelves, looking at the sun that I wondered what Myka was doing at that moment. Aside from my failed attempts to keep the memories of her from my mind, I can say that kissing her is an indescribable feeling.
I picked a book to read even though I knew I wouldn't be able to because like I said I get distracted by the thoughts of her, and they interrupt anything that I am trying to do. After a few long minutes, just remember that I had decided to get away from Myka, only to let the feelings go down before falling asleep in my chair.
A/N
Chapter too much short but I only wanted to show a bit of the emotional side of them =)
I hope you're enjoying the story, and thanks for reviews: LOCISVU ;)