I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Here's another chapter in the story. Please - let me know what you think. I love hearing from you!
Mithrad's House
The next few days were …. surreal. That's really the only way Jack could describe them. On the one hand, they were everything he'd wanted for a long time. He and Sam entered into a passionate and very pleasing 'affair'. She was warm and affectionate and very, very sexy. They definitely spent more time in bed than out of it. So, he couldn't have been happier, right?
The fact was that as much as he allowed himself to enjoy it, it didn't feel right somehow. He'd tried to discuss it with her many times but she would always stop him. She'd reach out and cover his mouth or quickly change the subject. She simply seemed to want to enjoy their time together without discussing consequences or where they should go from here. As each day went by it began to bother him more and more. By the fifth day he was certain that there was something seriously wrong. This couldn't be natural. His thought about an alien drug began to seem more and more likely.
He sat at the small table, contemplating what to do, when Sam came up behind him and put her arms around his shoulders.
"Hi" she whispered in his ear. She then began to nibble on that same ear. He allowed himself to enjoy it for a minute but then, with a sigh, he reached around and grabbed her hands. Twisting, he turned to face her.
"Carter, sit down. We need to talk."
"Talk is overrated Jack. Let's not." She pulled her hands away, took his face in her hands and bent over to kiss him.
He grabbed her hands again and stood up, pulling back from her.
"No Major, that's enough. We have to talk. Please, just sit down." He pushed her towards the other chair and insisted she sit. He took the other chair and sat facing her.
Sam's face became taut with worry. She very clearly didn't want to have this conversation. Jack had been concerned that she had been acting strangely because of some chemical influence, but now he wasn't sure. Her reaction seemed to indicate she knew something was wrong.
"Carter, what's going on?"
"What do you mean Jack?" she asked, trying to sound innocent. "You know what's going on. You've been an active participant you know." Deal with that, O'Neill, she thought to herself.
"I know Sam", he sighed, "but we can't go on like this. I shouldn't have let it get this far."
"Really? Why did you if that's not what you wanted?" she asked, anger building in her voice.
"I don't know. It was wrong and I'm sorry – but we have to stop. I think maybe we've been under the influence of some kind of drug."
"Oh, you mean like the stuff that was in the cake you ate on Kynthia's planet?"
He looked at her, surprised at her tone of voice. Yes, something was definitely off.
"Yeah, maybe. Look Sam, we've been …. well, you know what we've been doing, and we haven't talked about it."
"Didn't you like it?"
'That's not the point Carter. The fact is that we're prisoners on an alien planet and we should be working on getting out of here, not spending our time humping like bunnies!" his voice had risen until he was almost shouting. Why wasn't she helping him out here?
At that her expression changed. He could see the tears gather in her eyes and she looked incredibly hurt. God, why had he spoken like that? He was just so frustrated and so – thrown – by what had happened. He couldn't forget that she was in love with another man. The last few days had shown him how much he was missing – and how hard it was going to be when they returned to earth.
"I'm sorry Sir. I thought you were happy. I would never have continued if I thought you didn't like it." She actually sniffed, which made him feel even guiltier.
"Oh, for God's sakes, Sam, of course I liked it. You're a beautiful and desirable women – what I can't figure out is why you wanted to keep going – unless you - ur we were under some influence. I know you're not interested in me. You have someone" (oh shit, O'Neill, why did you bring that up? From her expression she had either been ignoring that fact, or had forgotten it due to whatever drug they had slipped her). "What I mean is you wouldn't have done this – with me – in your right – I mean if you hadn't been drugged … or something." His voice faded out as he realized he was only making things worse.
"No Sir, you're wrong. I did want to – I mean I do. I'm not under any influence, really."
"Then why Sam?" He wanted to believe it was because she cared for him but somehow, looking at her, he didn't think that was the reason she had let this continue.
She looked back at him, not sure what she should, or could say. She'd known it couldn't last but she had tried, over the last few days, to simply enjoy the time they had together. She'd refused to think about anything beyond the fact that she was with the man she truly loved. She'd known there was no way they could ever be together on earth but she'd allowed this to be a time out of time. She knew she couldn't tell Jack this. It would place an unfair burden on him, if she admitted to loving him.
"They threatened to – hurt you Sir – if we didn't, you know. I couldn't allow that to happen."
He sat there silent, stunned by her admission. If she had been drugged he could have accepted it. A part of him had also lived in hope that she felt something for him. This was devastating however. She had spent the last five days making love with him, giving him a false sense of hope and love, all to save him from being made into a eunuch.
"Thanks" he said "nice to know what lengths you'll go to to help me Carter." He stood up and turned towards the bathroom. It was the only place he could go to get away from her.
"Sir!" she called, realizing he was angry and upset.
"Leave it Carter." he walked into the little room and softly closed the door. Sitting on the floor he buried his head in his hands. What had he done? Why had he let this get this far? He really couldn't fault her could he?
It didn't matter what he said to himself. He was angry, furiously angry. She had pretended to feel something for him – even if it was only physical desire – simply to help him. She really didn't feel anything more than friendship and concern for him. Somehow he equated that with pity, which he hated.
As he sat there, trying to calm himself, he realized that something inside him had finally died. Maybe it was hope, maybe it was the illusion that, even though she was now with another man, there was a part of her that did love him. Now he knew – and now he had to accept it.
It was a long time later before he felt ready to come out and face her. When he was sitting there, alone, he had come to a decision as to how they should behave going forward. It would be difficult, but he was determined. He stood up and, with a deep breath, opened the door.
Sam was still sitting at the table, her head held in her hands. It looked as if she'd been crying although her eyes and face were now clear of tears. She looked up as he entered the room.
"Jack – "
"Just tell me one thing Major. Is there any possibility that you could be pregnant or is the birth control still working?"
"Uh – it should still be working for a few more weeks."
"Good." He walked over and grabbed a drink from the pitcher on the counter.
"Jack – "
"That's Colonel, Carter." He drank a full glass of water and then turned to her, although he refused to look at her.
"From now on we'll maintain military discipline Major. We should never have let ourselves get so …. casual …. with each other. We'll forget the last few days and concentrate on getting out of here." He finally looked up at that even though he still couldn't quite meet her eyes. "Do you understand Major?"
She paused for a moment, wanting to say more, but looking at Jack's face she knew she couldn't push it – not now.
"Yes Sir."
"Good. Then let's see if we can't get this damn thing off my chest. When Martia returns we'll see if she has any more information for us. We need to plan our next moves. I'd like to get out of here sooner rather than later."
Sam stood up and got the file. Returning, she moved her chair in front of Jack and began to file the medallion. It was difficult, more difficult than it ever had been. This time, looking at his chest only served to remind her of what had happened over the last few days. She still desired him; could feel the heat rising in her core, but she knew he no longer desired her. She had to keep her head lowered, concentrating on her work, in order not to let J – the Colonel know what she was thinking.
The next few days were difficult, more difficult than either of them thought possible. The warmth, the friendship they'd shared, even before entering into a physical relationship, was gone. In its place was a cold professionalism. Other than discussing tactics and a plan of action, they didn't speak with each other. Nights were the worst. They both kept as far away from each other as possible, backs turned towards the other.
It had been horribly embarrassing when, on the second night, she'd awoken to find herself curled up against the Colonel's back. She could hear from the sound of his breathing exactly the moment he woke up. He didn't say anything, or turn, he simply pulled away from her and moved closer to the edge of the bed. With a silent whimper she turned over and hugged herself. She desperately needed comfort and there was no one there to give it to her.
They had gotten as much information from Martia as she was able to give. They knew the layout of the camp, how many guards there were, how many priests and slaves. They knew the timing of the various shifts and where everyone was at any given time. The information was extremely valuable, but would only be useful if they could get the damn chain off his chest.
Right from the beginning the thing had disgusted him. Each time he looked down he'd see these – things – hanging from where there should not be things hanging. It made him feel like some kind of freak. The last few days however he'd kind of enjo – no stop thinkin' about that O'Neill. Now he wanted them off even more than ever.
He was sitting quietly at the table, trying to figure out anyway to get them out of this situation when he heard footsteps approaching. There was more than one person approaching and the steps were louder than Martia's. He stood up and faced the door, wondering what was up.
As the door opened he saw two of the guards and in the middle one of the little priests. For the life of him he couldn't remember the guy's name.
"Why hello there." He said, offering an insincere smile. "Come for a visit? Afraid we don't have too much to offer guests. So sorry, guess you'll have to leave."
"You will come with us." The priest looked at O'Neill.
"Ah, come on. You don't really want me do you? I'm not very much fun." The priest simply nodded to the guards. One of them pulled out the disc and activated it. When Jack fell to the ground in agony the other guard reached down and lifted him up and slung him over his shoulder. He turned and walked out.
The priest looked at Carter and smiled. For some reason that sent shivers up her spine.
"We will bring him back. I hope you are well?" When the woman didn't answer he continued,
"Your man should miss you." He laughed. Turning he walked out, closing the door behind him.
She looked after him, puzzled by his expression and his words. For some reason she was perturbed by what he'd said, although in and of itself it hadn't been ominous.
As she sat waiting for Jack to return she thought about the last few days. She knew that somehow she had to fix things, she just didn't know how. She was just so tired of everything and wished, that just once, she and the Colonel could speak openly and honestly to each other.
By the time they'd arrived at D'jindra's 'Chez Torture', Jack was feeling better although he wasn't particularly comfortable slung over the Jaffa's shoulder. When they arrived the guard simply threw him down – which was even less comfortable.
"Aaargh", he cried as he struggled to sit up. He had some new bruises now although looking up and seeing both the little priests plus D'jindra he knew they were the least of his worries.
Before he'd had a chance to stand the two guards had each grabbed one of his arms and pulled him to a standing position.
"Thanks guys", he brushed himself off. "So, to what do I owe the pleasure?" The little rat simply gestured to the guards who were still holding on to him. Without a sound they lifted him up to the metal table and quickly strapped him down. God no, he thought. Not again.
"Hey, what do you want this time?" He struggled to see what was going on. D'jindra turned and walked towards him, holding some kind of long tube and what looked like a really vicious needle.
"Ah – what's that?" he looked at the needle. He began to sweat when no one was answering his questions. He struggled against his bonds but they were too secure.
"Interesting clothes." D'jindra looked down at his leather pants. He looked up to the guards. "Remove them."
"Come on – you don't need to do that. I haven't done anything wrong. Come on – this is ridiculous." Rather than trying to pull the tight pants off one of the Jaffa simply took out a knife and slit the leather down the sides (he didn't seem to care that he'd also sliced Jack's legs at the same time).
"Ow – whadya do that for?" He knew it wasn't serious but it stung.
When the pants had been removed Jack was again lying naked and was feeling terribly vulnerable. He had no idea what was going on.
The torturer took the needle and, with a grin, walked up to Jack.
"We need to find out and this is the best way." He then plunged the needle into the same area as the last time.
"Oh Shit!" Jack struggled again. This time D'jindra left the needle in and attached the tube. He then began to draw fluid out with the needle.
"You could have asked if you'd wanted to know." Jack gasped, feeling sick. Finally, D'jindra was done. He pulled out the needle and walked over to his table. He took the tube and put it into some kind of machine. As Jack lay on the table, trying to get his breathing under control, the gnome of a man continued to do something at his work station.
"Take the Tauri and see if he has been affected by the Kopra and Roshu. I want to see if it has worked."
He was quickly unstrapped and pulled off the table. He was made to stand although he wanted to bend over and clutch his 'unmentionables' – he hurt terribly from the needle.
"Hey, aren't you going to tell me what this is about? And what are Kupra and Roshu?"
D'jindra turned and looked at the man in front of him. Considering him for a moment he finally decided to answer.
"You have been given Kopra – a drug I created to help make strong and healthy hosts. I have tested your seed to see if it worked on you."
"And did it?" Jack felt sick, knowing that this man had been screwing with his body.
"Yes indeed. You will father excellent hosts."
"So, this Korpus stuff – you snuck it in our food? Does it do something else? And what's the other stuff?"
"Yes, it has been in your food. It will affect you and the woman the same – enabling you to make wonderful hosts for our Gods. The Roshu?" here he grinned, "that was to help you with the Mai'thun. It is for those who are – hesitant."
"So, you're telling me it's some kind of aphrodisiac?" Jack began to feel slightly better. Maybe the drug had affected Sam after all.
D'jindra looked puzzled for a moment. This was a word he did not know.
"It only enhances what one feels for another. If you had hated the woman it would have increased that emotion. But I believe, from your actions, that you love her. The Roshu simply works with what you feel already."
Damn – that meant that Sam had only done what she had to protect him, like she'd said. If the Roshu only worked on already present feelings then it clearly hadn't influenced her. It did, however, explain why he'd let it go on as long as he had.
As the guards went to pull him out of the house he realized D'jindra hadn't explained why they were taking him – and where they were taking him – to see if the drugs had worked. Hadn't he already figured it out?
He was dragged back into the large temple and down the same corridor as before. One of the Jaffa opened a door, halfway down, and they took him inside. The room was decorated in shades of red and pink. As he looked around he thought that it looked like some kind of 18th century bordello. The thought had barely crossed his mind when one of the guards shot him with something and he passed out on the bed.
He awoke to a soft, and very naked, body pressed up against his. He could tell, almost instantly, that the body was not Sam's. This woman, whoever she was, didn't have that warm, clean smell that he associated with Carter.
He quickly became aware that whoever was beside him was very intent on getting him aroused. Her hands and lips moved sensuously over his body. He pulled back and looked down. He saw a beautiful, young, dark haired woman with ruby red lips and exotic eyes staring back at him.
She began to smile, giving him a very knowing look. It was obvious that this was no reluctant virgin. This was a very experienced courtesan by the looks of her.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Surely you know, Tauri."
"Let me rephrase the question – "why are you doing what you're doing?"
"To give you pleasure."
"Okay, but why? So far good old D'jin boy hasn't been too concerned with my 'pleasure'.
She looked confused for a minute but then realized who he was talking about.
"D'jindra rewards those who honor the gods. He said you have done well so I am your reward. Now, you must stop talking and simply enjoy." With that she resumed her exploration of his body.
At first he thought about stopping her but then decided 'what the hell'. He might as well get some enjoyment out of this experience. Sam had her own guy – she and Pete had certainly been doing the horizontal tango for a while so why shouldn't he enjoy some too. Maybe this way he'd begin to get Carter out of his mind. As a pang of guilt washed over him he immediately quashed it. He didn't have anything to feel guilty for. They were teammates – nothing more.
He turned to the woman – he didn't even know her name – and began to kiss her passionately. He allowed his hands to roam over her very soft, voluptuous body. She was much fuller than Carter, he realized – stop that Jack – keep your mind on present company.
He attempted to deepen the kiss, wanting to lose himself in the oblivion of meaningless sex. All he could do, however, was compare everything to Sam.
After a few minutes, in which nothing happened other than some fierce groping, he pulled away. His body absolutely refused to cooperate.
He wasn't someone who had ever indulged in one night stands (okay, maybe a couple when he first joined the Air Force and before he'd met Sara) preferring to have a deeper relationship with the woman he was with. But, he couldn't remember there ever being a time when he … couldn't. He was a pretty normal man and he had a gorgeous woman wrapped around him – and yet nothing was working.
He seriously tried focusing on the woman and then tried some serious fantasizing (that always worked!) but still, nothing happened. The woman, when she realized what was – or wasn't – happening even tried to help. Not only didn't that work either, he found it incredibly unpleasant.
In fact, as each second passed he realized that he was feeling sicker and sicker. The touch, the smell, even the sight of the woman in bed with him was making him feel incredibly nauseous. His head began to pound and he began to feel weak.
With a groan he rolled over and off the bed, falling to the floor where he remained, curled into a little ball. He worried that something was seriously wrong. He didn't remember ever feeling so sick without something having happened to cause the feeling.
"Are you okay?" The woman looked down at him from the bed. If he had looked up he would have seen an unpleasant smile on her face. As it was, he just felt embarrassed.
"Sorry, not feeling too well."
"Can I help you?" She began to swing her legs off the bed, preparing to jump down.
"NO!" he shouted. "No", more quietly this time. "I'm fine. I think I just need to be alone for a while and sleep. It's been a busy day." Maybe that was it, he thought. It must have been that needle that D'jindra had jammed into him. That was enough to discourage any guy for a while.
"All right. I will leave you to sleep. I will have one of the guards bring you some food in a little while." She dropped her feet to the floor and prepared to walk out. With one final smirk she returned and bent down to where Jack still lay on the floor. She drew her hand over his back and down to his buttocks, caressing him softly.
"Stop, please", he cried. Her touch sent jolts of agony through him. With one final touch she stood and walked from the room.
D'jindra's House
"So", the evil little man asked.
"They have worked. The Kopra and Roshu have combined and he was unable to perform with me. In fact, my presence quickly brought him agony." The woman had greatly enjoyed making the Tauri suffer. She was one of D'jindra's best prodigies. She only wished she were a man so that she could have taken him forcibly and brought him even more pain.
"He was in pain?" D'jindra looked surprised. "He has reacted more strongly than usual. It may be because he has received so much – or maybe it is because of his desire for the woman." This time it was D'jindra who smiled. "Whatever the reason, he will forever be bound to her. He will not ever be able to enjoy another woman's touch or her love. The poor man." He laughed and invited his protégée to join him in a drink to their God.
The 'poor man' just managed to pull himself to the bed where he collapsed in exhaustion and pain. All he could think of was the fact that he'd just betrayed the woman he loved, even if he'd been unable to finish what had been started. He knew Sam didn't love him – but he still felt like he had to be faithful to her.
With a quiet sob of anguish he closed his eyes and tried to sleep and to forget what he'd done.