It's been a few days since I heard from Seth and I was getting worried.

The guys must have really got to him when we went out to lunch.

Sue did call me a little while later saying Seth wanted to call me but was too sick to get to the phone.

I felt horrible. I told her to tell him I hope he gets better and call as soon as he could.

My leg shook up and down as I stared at the phone, hoping he would call.

Seth was the only thing that kept me going. Ever since all the guys left and joined Sam's little cult, he was the one that I only truly cared for. He was like the light in my mess of darkness.

Another 20 minutes passed by, and then another 45 and I was still staring at the phone.

As I got up from my seat, I felt empty.

Seth wasn't going to be calling.

I plopped on the couch and wrapped a blanket around myself. Waiting for sleep to succumb me was the only thing I have been doing these past few days.

I have no one. Was my last thought as I finally fell asleep.

The next day and the day after that was the same. No call and no visits.

When I wrapped the blanket around myself again and stared at the blank screen of the tv, I huffed.

Stop this Bella. Wallowing in self pity is doing you no good.

I got up from the couch and went to my room.

They aren't coming back. None of them are. Get used to it.

I changed out of my and got ready to run some errands.

Move on. Go out. Do something!

I put my hair in a messy bun and then skipped down the stairs. Grabbing the keys off the table, I was out the door and in my car in a matter of minutes.

Move on. That's what they've been doing.

I drove to the store and got out of the car.

'Packaging supplies sold here!' read the sign.

I went in, getting a few things, and then asking for about 15 boxes.

"Moving?" the woman asked me who looked like she was in her late 40's.

"Yup, time for a change."

She handed me the boxes, and smiled. "Well have fun, and enjoy the adjustment."

I gave her a nod and was off.

It was about lunch time, so I pulled off the road and into Sue's diner. As I walked into the place, I thought of everything I would pack and need to get before I left.

It was a Tuesday, so there would be no chance of running into anyone.

I walked in the door, the bell signaling I was here.

When I looked straight ahead I found the guys sitting at a long table near the end of the room.

Great. I groaned to myself. I thought about turning back now, but instead I sucked in a breath and moved along.

I made my way over to the take out counter, not caring if they saw me or not.

"Bella?" Sue called, making her way back from the guys table

I looked over at her and smiled. "Hey Sue."

My eyes flickered to the table and found Seth staring right at me with guilty eyes. Pain flickered in my heart, but I turned away.

The damage was done Bella. I told myself. He chose his side, and I chose mine.

The young brunette took my order and then told me it would be just a few moments.

I nodded and sat down at one of the empty booths.

I looked down at the placemat, still making a list of what I had to do.

A body slid into the seat across from me and I shut my eyes in pain, knowing who it was.

"Go away." I commanded.

"Bella…" Seth said in a pleading voice.

I shook my head and looked at him. "I don't want to hear it Seth. You made your choice. So stick with it."

"Bella?" The waitress called with my order, I swiftly took it and turned to head out.

"Wait, please Bella." Seth said, standing in my way.

"What?" I snapped. Being around him made the darkness come back, and this time, there was no light to help me get through it.

"It's not about choosing. There is no choice to make."

I swallowed, getting the courage to look at him. "Then answer me this; the day we went out to celebrate my acceptance; at the end of the night, when you went home…did you ever think? At all? About what was going to happen? Whenever you thought about joining the rest of the gang over there and leaving me…did you ever think how it affected me?" he swallowed hard and I gave him a knowing stare. I needed to know how I felt.

"When they all began leaving, you were the only one keeping me afloat. I thought that," I swallowed, tears in my throat. "As long as I had you, everything would be ok. But then I lost you Seth. You vanished and left me alone. So I fended for myself. I stood up on my own two feet, not letting anyone help me. And guess what Seth? I got up. And I'm moving on."

"Bella." He cried with hurt as I pushed past him. "It's ok Seth. I understand why you are going with them, and I don't blame you. You have known them longer, and they are you're friends. In some twisted way, maybe I still am your friend, but it's ok. I get it."

"Bella…" Jake said with sympathy, coming up to stand by Seth.

"But you know what sucks?" I asked the two of them, letting out a dry laugh.

"Is that no matter how good life can get, there is always a downfall."

"That's not true Bella." Leah said coming up next to Jake, entwining her hand with his.

It reminded me of the way Seth and I used to do that. I shook my head and let a tear fall.

"It is, and I learned it the hard way Leah. I watched as you all left. And no matter how big the downfall was, I ignored it; and it hurt. But what hurt the most is how much I trusted all of you. I thought…I just thought I could be something more than just Bella Swan with all of you…"

I heard someone suck in a deep breath, which I was guessing was Paul. I didn't mean to be mean, but I just wasn't cut out to be a McGrath, especially after this.

"Please Bella, you can't leave like this." Seth begged again, grabbing my wrist. The diner was silent and chairs skidded across the floor.

Even through blurry, teary eyes I knew it was the guys trying to protect Seth from me.

I let out a shaky breath and did something that hurt me the most. I looked at him. Like really looked at him.

I memorized his face, his body, and how his hand felt against my skin.

"It's ok Seth. I can handle it." I kissed him on the cheek and tugged my hand out of his grip and walked out of the diner.

When I got outside, I let out the sob I had been holding.

It wasn't fair.

Life isn't fair. The voice in my head reminded me.

I opened the car door and plopped the carry out on the passenger seat.

My head rested on the steering wheel as I tried to calm myself down.

When the sobs died down, I buckled my seatbelt, turned the keys in the ignition and was off.

I got home looking like a wreck. I didn't feel any stronger, or like a weight was lifted off my shoulder.

All that stuff was crap.

I ate in silence at the table and then went out to the car to grab my things.

All the cardboard boxes were now in my room and ready to be folded to hold things.

Box after box I folded and finally passed out on my bed tired.

Sleep hit me hard and I passed out for the night.

I woke up the next day to the phone ringing.

"Bella?" Phil asked.

"Hey Phil." I said with my voice still thick with sleep and tears.

"Did you just get up?"

"Yea, sorry."

"Are you ok? Its already 2pm. Maybe you should go see a doctor." He panicked.

"Dad, its ok. I just had a late and busy day yesterday. What's up?" I needed to change the subject or I was going to break down in tears with Phil on the phone.

"Well, I just wanted to talk to you about the colleges."

I nodded and began the whole college conversation.

After about 2 hours on the phone with him, we decided that I would go to Columbia.

I was supposed to be at campus in about 2 weeks, since classes started a few days after that.

I talked with Phil and told him right when I was done packing I would head out. Driving would be the best situation, even though it was practically across the whole United States because I had so many personal things I wanted for my dorm.

"Alright Bella, I think that wraps everything up. Sorry I couldn't call sooner. It's been crazy out here."

I gave a fake laugh. "It's not a problem. Don't worry. I will talk to you later ok? I'm going to go finish packing."

He nodded and then we hung up.

My room was done and packed just an hour after the phone call. I looked around and felt like I was leaving another piece of my heart.

The room was bare except for the paint I painted on the walls. Walking out, I shut the door behind me, just how it was before.

I took the extra boxes and began stuffing the pictures I had hung up on the walls. It was time Paul came back to his own place.

I was practically done erasing any trace of me in the house. I had to move the furniture back, but I would do that tomorrow.

Yogurt was about the only thing left in the fridge. I grabbed the last one and knew I would have to be gone tomorrow.

Looking around the place one last time, I let tears drip down my face.