Felt like writing Chapter 6, so I just did it! Probably won't be writing another chapter of this until I have updated on my other fanfiction, but hopefully that won't be too long!
"Look, I already told you," said Doctor Starkweather. "You came in here with a mild concussion, with some bruised ribs, no big deal. Although, none of you could articulate how it happened."
"Do you remember how many of us were here?" Jace asked, as the thin, with glasses, and grey streak-haired doctor tapped his old patient's knee, and pressed down those fancy medical lollypop sticks down on his tongue. "I dunno, I think it was just you guys, definitely no baby. And one other guy."
"That's our guy!" said Alec. "Was he okay?"
"Yeah, he was fine," the doctor said, as he pulled on his latex gloves. "Just whacked out of his mind; you all were." He took the patients wrists slowly, and helped him up. "Alright, come forward. And turn." The patient obeyed. Doctor Starkweather pulled down the patients briefs, unexpectedly, revealing his lardy, wrinkly arse.
The guys turned round in disgust immediately, apart from Eric.
"And cough," said the doctor. The patient was obedient, and coughed. "Cough." He said again, and the patient didn't fail to obey. Eric just sat, watching in disgust. "Cough. Give me one more. Alright," he said, pulling the patients pants back up. "That's a boy! Okay, Felix, you can put your robe on, and the nurse will be here in a minute," he said, handing Felix his robe. "I'll see you after the weekend."
"Thank you, thank you, thank you," said Felix, nodding, and standing up. The doctor shook his head at the three of them, implying that the poor old guy wouldn't make it past the weekend.
"Guys, I've really got to go, I'm sorry," Doctor Starkweather said, pulling off the gloves and washing his hands. "I have surgery up on the fourth floor."
"We just need a couple of minutes of your time," Jace said, blocking the door, holding a hundred dollar bill in his hand.
"Yeah," said the doctor, looking at the money. "Just tuck it right in there," he said, indicating to his pocket. "I don't want to resterilise. Walk with me."
"Okay, here we go," Doctor Starkweather said as the four of them walked down the hall, looking at a patient record. "Patient Name: Jonathon Christopher Herondale, two forty five a.m. arrival, minor concussion, like I said, some bruising, pretty standard,"
"You mind if I take a look?" Alec said, looking at the doctor's file. "I'm actually a doctor."
"Yeah," he said. "You said that several times last night, but really, you're just a dentist."
Alec looked away in embarrassment.
"Okay, this is interesting," the doctor flipped one of the pages. "Your blood work came in this morning."
"Wow." Said Jace.
"They found a large amount of Ruphylin in your system."
Jace looked puzzled.
"Ruphylin. Roofies." Hodge had had enough. "Commonly known as the date rape drug."
"What, so what are you saying?" Jace laughed in denial. "I was raped last night?"
"Actually…" the doctor said, scanning his notes. "I don't think so. But, someone did slip you the drug. I'm not surprised you don't remember anything."
Eric chuckled. "Doc, none of us can remember anything from last night. Remember?" Hodge just gave him a strange look.
"Yeah," said Jace. "How could someone have drugged all of us?"
"Look, I wouldn't worry about it," Doctor Starkweather said. "By now the stuff's out of your system. You're gonna be fine. I have to go."
"Wait wait wait!" Alec stopped him. "Please, doctor, is there anything else? Like something we may have been talking about, or some place we were going?"
Hodge shook his head. "Well, actually, there was something." He said. "You guys kept talking about some wedding last night."
"Yeah, no shit. Our buddy Simon's getting married tomorrow." Said Alec.
"You know what? I want the hundred back." Jace said, reaching into the doctor's pocket.
"No, no, no, easy," said Hodge. "You kept talking about some wedding you just came from. At the, uh, Best Little Chapel. You guys kept on saying how sick the wedding was, and getting all crazy about it. Okay, I hope this helps, fellas. I really have to leave."
"The Best Little Chapel," Jace said, writing it down. "Do you know where that is?"
"I do," said Hodge. "It's at the corner of Get A Map, and Fuck Off. I'm a doctor, not a tour guide. Figure it out yourself, okay? You're big boys."
They pulled up at the Little Best Chapel in their stolen police car, and got out the car quickly.
"What about the baby?" Said Eric.
"Just leave him in the car," said Jace. "We're only gonna be five minutes."
"Whoa," said Alec. "We're not leaving a baby in the car."
"He'll be fine," said Jace. "I cracked the window."
"What if they don't remember us?" Said Alec, as they stepped inside.
"Well, let's just find out," Jace said. "Excuse me sir," he said, as he caught sight of a blonde man, with black, fathomless eyes, instructing a petite, curly red head as she hung up decorations. "Hi."
The man turned round, laughing, opening his arms out for a hug. "Look at these guys!" He said. "What happened? Did you miss me? You missed Jonathon? You want more from me?" He said, wrapping his arms around Jace. "How are you, my friend? Look at this guy!" He said, grabbing hold of Eric's sad excuse for a beard. "You're fucking crazy! What's going on man?" He finally looked to Alec. "Listen, I'm gonna tell you something," he said. "I've known some sick people in my life. This guy is the craziest, wildest bastard I have ever met in my life, man!"
"Who?" Jace spluttered. "This guy?"
"This guy is out of his mind!" Jonathon laughed, hugging Alec. "What's going on you fucking crazy motherfucker? I thought he was going to eat my dick!"
Jace was taken a back.
"What happened?" Jonathon asked Alec. "No love for Jonathon? You won't hug me?"
"No, no," Alec chuckled nervously. "It's not that, Jonathon. Uh, it's just that we're having a hard time remembering what happened here last night."
"Yeah, was there a wedding here?" Asked Eric. "Do you do weddings here?"
Jonathon just laughed. "You are cracking my balls, man!"
"Jonathon, obviously we were here last night," said Jace. "We're looking for our friend Simon. Do you remember him?"
"Yeah, the small guy," he said. "Like a monkey."
"Yeah," they said.
"You saw him?" Asked Alec, with a hint of hope in his tone.
"Of course,"
"Is there anything you can tell us about what may have happened last night?" Alec almost begged.
"You don't remember anything?" Jonathan looked at them all, expecting one of them to say they were kidding.
Jonathon pulled out a photo album, revealing the wedding photos of Alec, and some handsome, half Asian looking guy, with colourful, sparkly hair. Alec groaned, the minute he saw them.
"Congratulations, Alec," said Eric. "You got married!"
"This, this can't be happening," Alec said, picking up the album with a disgusted looking expression. "For the love of the Angel, look at that!" Alec said, looking at a photo with him gripping the guy's glittered jeans covered crotch, sticking his tongue out, while the other three guys looked totally disorientated. Alec groaned again, stepping away from the album as if it was poison.
Jace continued to look through the album, contently. "I'll tell you one thing man," Jace said. "You look seriously happy here."
"That's it!" Alec groaned. "My life is over!"
"Alec, look," Jace said. "It's okay. Shit happens. Come on, Maia is not going to know anything about this. This never happened. I'll take care of it."
"Come on, put it here," said Jonathon, to the petite red head carrying two large boxes, Jace now recognised as Clary, his ex girlfriend, who he had left for his present wife, and was going to be a bridesmaid at Isabelle's wedding. He knew she had moved to Vegas, but didn't know this was where she worked, and that she had hooked up with her brother.
"Hey, what's all that?" Eric asked.
"The High Roller package," said Jonathon. "It's what you guys ordered. I have coffee mugs,"
"What?" Said Alec, putting his hands on his neck.
"You have baseball caps, huh?" Jonathon pulled out the baseball caps and mugs, with the photo of the happy couple on the front. "And fancy calendars, all with pictures of Alec and Magnus!"
"His name is Magnus?" Jace couldn't help himself from laughing this time.
"Yeah, and he's very handsome," said Jonathon, not feeling like a poof in the slightest. "Clean, very tight, balls like that," he motioned to, well, his balls. "But that's because he had a baby," was Jonathon unsure of Reproduction? Well, he was with his sister, after all.
"That explains the baby," said Jace.
"Oh Carlos, Carlos," said Eric, putting on one of the Malec baseball caps.
"Great, alright." Jace felt like they were finally achieving something. "Uh, here's the deal. We made a mistake last night. We need to make this marriage annulled immediately. You do annulments?"
"Of course I do annulments," said Jonathon. "It breaks my heart, and it's gonna make me very sad, but it's no problem. I'll make a very good price for you. I can't do it with just him, though. I need the dude. I need both parties."
"Oh, not a problem. That's great." Jace grinned. "Isn't that great, Alec? Come on buddy, and he probably knows where Simon is. Awesome."
At this point, Alec was being completely selfish. He didn't care about Simon, but was Jace really this ready to accept he was gay? Could he finally come clean?
"Alright, okay," said Jace. "Uh… we need his address. He must have filled out some paperwork, right?"
"Of course," Jonathon seemed happy to help. "Hey, excuse me." He said to Clary. "What is the matter with you? Go get the paperwork, man. I spend myself waiting for you. Come on."
"Okay, I'm going," she said, rolling her eyes, and going through the back.
"And get the baklava, please," he called after her.
They left the place moments later, with the two boxes, and Magnus's address.
"Hey, Jace," said Alec. "What about my dad's car?"
"I'm sure Simon has it," said Jace. "We'll get it back."
"Then I vote we torch the cop car and all this shit with it," said Alec.
"Torch it? Who are you?" Jace put the boxes in the trunk.
"I don't know, Jace," Alec said. "Apparently I'm a guy who marries complete strangers. This whole situation is completely fucked. These mugs," he threw them all on the ground. "This hat," he pulled Eric's hat off and flung it on the ground, with Eric squealing. "This car! It's all evidence of a night that never happened! That's why we're torching all of it!"
"Woah," said Jace, calming Alec down. "I'm a schoolteacher, I got a family, okay? I'm all for secrecy, but I'm not gonna torch a fucking cop car."
"Fine, I'll do it," said Alec.
"Can I help?" Eric chirped in.
"Yeah, thanks."
An unidentified mobile phone rang. "Shit, is it Simon?" Asked Jace. "I don't have it."
Alec was the one with the ringing phone. "Uh, it's Maia," he said.
"Don't answer it," Jace said.
"I have to!" Alec yelled. "She's called twice already! Hey sweetheart, how are you?" He said, answering the phone finally.
"There you are," she gasped. "This is the third time I'm trying you!"
"I know," he laughed. "The reception up here's crazy. I think it's all the sequoia trees, block the signal."
"Ugh, I hate that," she said. "So how was it last night?"
"Ah, it was really fun, actually," he said. "It was kind of quiet, but it was a good time."
"That sounds nice,"
"I'm learning all kinds of vino factoids," he said, climbing into the back seat.
"Hi," Eric whispered to baby Carlos, making him giggle. "It'd be so cool if I could breast feed, you know?" He said to Jace. Jace didn't even bother to reply.
A yellow car swung round from the back of the Best Little Chapel, heading straight for their car, parking right out side.
"What the fuck?" said Jace, looking out the rear view mirror, to see Clary and Jonathon climb out the car, with baseball bats.
"I should probably get going," said Alec.
"Go, out of the car!" Yelled Jonathon, in a totally different personality.
"What was that?" Asked Maia, on the phone.
"They just started up the tractor," Alec chuckled. "I think it backfired."
"Where the hell is he?" Clary asked, in her husky voice.
"Hey, easy, easy," said Jace. "I think we're looking for the same guy, okay?"
Jonathon whacked the baseball bat off the front window, smashing the glass partially.
"Hey, what the hell man!" Jace cried.
Baby Carlos had had enough, and burst into a fit of tears.
"What the fuck, Alec? Is that a baby?" Maia asked.
"Why would there be a baby?" Alec tried to shush the baby. "We're at a winery. That's a goat."
"Where is he?" Jonathon bared his teeth at them.
"I don't know!" Jace had lost his ability to not panic over the years. "What are you talking about?"
"Sir, can you please start the tractor so we can get out of here?" Alec called out to his pretend tractor driver.
"I'm trying to, but we're fucking blocked!" Jace screamed.
"Oh my God!" Maia cried. "What the hell is happening, Alec?"
"Hey! There's a baby on board!" Eric roared at Jonathon, who was continuously hitting the window.
"Someone just said baby," Maia gritted her teeth.
"Get out of the car!" Clary yelled.
"It's a baby goat," Alec said quickly.
"Why you making trouble?" A familiar figure, with a raven perched on his shoulder came out from no where, dressed in all black. "Go away from here!" He pointed his shot gun at them.
"Get out of the fucking car!" said Jonathon, pointing the gun at the car.
"Jace, he's got a gun!" Eric screamed.
"No shit he's got a gun!"
"I gotta call you back, bye!" Alec hung up on Maia quickly.
Jace drove over Jonathon's foot, making him shoot the cloaked saviour in the shoulder, and the raven to flee, and his glasses to fall off. Jace crashed into the wedding limo, but reversed quickly out of the way. "Fuck, shit!" He yelled.
"He shot me!" Even the voice of the guy sounded familiar. But where?
"He shot the guy!" Alec stated the obvious.
"Fuck this shit!" Jace said, reversing into the yellow car, and then through a bus shelter, onto the road.
"Go, go, go!" and he drove back onto the motorway.
"Okay," Jace breathed. "Oh, that was some sick shit!"
"Was that Clary?" Asked Eric.
"You don't know them," Alec said quickly, calming down the crying Carlos. "Everything's going to be all right," he soothed. "What the fuck is going on?"
"I have no idea." Jace said.
Alec's mobile rang, again. "Why don't you just let that one go to voicemail?"
"Ha-ha-ha-ha!" Alec fake laughed. "That's a fake laugh, by the way!"
Sooo, any ideas on who is who? There's one name that NOBODY has guessed, ha ha! Some predictions were quite close, but others were way off! Let me know what you think in a review!