Author's Note – This story is dedicated to my wonderful, amazing, and lovely friend, Cassandra. I hope you love it, my dear.
Warnings – I'll put these here, because I didn't have enough room in the summary. This chapter does contain family-rape, as well as drug-use, alcohol, and smoking. You have been made aware.
Chapter Three: Stuck Inside
"Your phone is going off again," Tony said, a cigarette dangling between his lips. The expression on his face was shrouded, unidentifiable, and Loki felt a small pang of annoyance, because he came to Tony to forget, not to try and figure out what was going through his friend's mind. He was worried – Loki knew that. But if Tony was looking for answers, he wasn't going to get them.
"Yeah," Loki simply said. He could feel Tony's eyes on him, but he didn't return the look. He simply lifted the beer bottle and took a generous gulp, emerald greens on the ocean.
The two had been on the roof all afternoon, drinking beers and sharing a pack of cigarettes. Loki came to him after his father discovered the loose floor-board and the empty pack of what used to be heroin, panicked and shaky, sweating and looking as though he'd fall over at any moment. It was just a bad morning, he'd told Tony, and his friend believed him. If he didn't, he said nothing. He merely opened the door wider, grabbed a carton of beer and the cigarettes, and led Loki to the roof.
Several hours of silence later, Loki was feeling a bit better – more relaxed, at least. His heart still pounded furiously in his chest whenever he thought about what awaited him when he had to go home, his limbs shaking whenever his mobile rang. With any luck, Tony would let him stay until midnight, that way his father would – hopefully – be asleep when he returned home.
Silence lasted about fifteen more minutes before his mobile went off again, the shock causing Loki to jump, only to then hiss in pain when a spasm shot straight through his lower half. Loki was dead-set on ignoring it, but Tony wasn't. An angry sigh and a curse later, Loki was turning his gaze to his friend as Tony crawled over to him, a determined look in his chocolate brown eyes.
"Tony –" Loki started, hoping his voice sounded as strong and as firm as he wished. He was going to warn him, let him know right then that he wasn't going to get anything from him, but – as though Tony knew that that was what he was going to say – he was cut off.
"No, shut up," He snapped, kneeling down beside Loki's knees. He shook his head in disbelief. He looked as though he couldn't believe that Loki was keeping something from him. Loki didn't blame him. "What the hell is wrong with you? I get that shit at home is bad, but you've never acted like this before. You looked like hell yesterday and today you're even worse, it looks like you have a stick shoved up your ass …" He trailed off, waiting for Loki to finish his sentence, give him something, anything.
But Loki didn't say a word. He just stared at Tony, watching as his features shifted from angry to furious. If possible, his eyes darkened and he scooted up a little. "Loki –"
"You told me to shut up."
Tony rolled his eyes. "I give you permission to speak now –"
"– Thank you –"
"– so tell me what the hell is going on with you."
"No."
"Why?"
Because you'll never want to speak to me again, because you'll try to fix this, because it's something that can't be undone, so why bother? Loki wanted to say. He couldn't, though. Tony wouldn't understand. Instead, he lifted the beer bottle to his lips and took a drink, watching Tony. He was staring at him so intently that Loki was almost uncomfortable by it.
"I'm not ready yet," Loki said, hoping that that would get through to Tony, to get him to back off. If anything, though, it seemed to make him even more irritated. He only got out Loki's name before he was cut off. "I need to think, Tony. I'll tell you later."
Tony deflated, his shoulders sagging. "Promise me, Loki."
Loki smiled sadly. "I promise."
He would never tell.
Luckily for him, though, Tony allowed Loki to stay for however long he wanted at his mansion. Loki wasn't about to not take advantage of that, especially when it gave him time to at least attempt to wind down, to calm the racing of his heart whenever he heard his mobile ring. It stopped ringing and beeping and vibrating around seven in the afternoon and it took a few more hours for Loki to relax and come to the realisation that Odin hadn't called the police. They would have found him already.
So he stayed and drank and smoked and snacked on food. Tony was with him the entire time, making him laugh, providing a good conversation, and simply being a comforting presence whenever his mood became too negative. Of course, it only lasted for so long. Loki was intruding on Tony's time and, no matter how many times his friend told him that he didn't mind, Loki said his goodbyes around one in the morning and headed home.
The hour was late – Loki certainly took his time walking home, taking long routes and stopping to rest, his lower half stiff and throbbing in exertion – when he walked into his house and the last thing he would have expected was Odin waiting up for him. So when he stepped into the house and the door behind him slammed shut, Loki knew right then that he was in deep shit.
Before he could get a single word out, he felt a flaring pain against the upper part of his back legs, ripping a shocking gasp from him. He felt it again when Odin threw him against the door and only then did he realise that his father was beating him with his belt. Panic consumed him, the tears immediately blinding his eyes and falling down his face, because he was going to hurt him, was going to rape him again. His thoughts were only confirmed when his arms were once again wrenched behind his back, the belt wrapping tightly around his wrists. He fought, but it didn't do any good. Odin had caught him off guard, and even then, his father was stronger than he was.
"Please, stop! Please, I'm sorry, just stop!" Loki begged and pleaded as Odin yanked him from the door, pulling him towards the stairs.
"Stop crying, Loki," Odin merely growled, roughly dragging Loki down the hall and up the stairs. "Man up!"
He couldn't stop crying, though. His body was tense and his lower half was screaming in pain with how crudely he was being yanked around, and it would only get worse. The mere thought of that had him shaking his head, pulling at the arm his father was grasping tightly. He couldn't get free, not with how tightly the belt was wrapped around his wrists. Forced into his bedroom, Odin tossed Loki into his stomach on the bed and pressed a knee to the small of his back, keeping him there. His hair was grabbed and yanked back, forcing him to stare into the piercing eye of his father.
"Do not move."
And Loki didn't. After all, where could he possibly go? His body shook as he cried, his wrists straining against the belt, jerking and pulling and trying to get free, but it was no use. Eventually, he gave up, his head falling to the mattress, the tears streaming down his face, the sheets dampening beneath him. The sound of Odin's footsteps coming back to his room only had him crying harder.
Loki didn't get much sleep that night.
-x- -x- -x-
He had no idea when exactly he fell asleep. He knew it had to be after five in the morning, because Loki remembered staring at the clock, counting down the hours until his father went to work. But when he finally did wake a couple hours later, he found that the belt was still wrapped tightly around his wrists and the tie that his father left to get after first tossing him on the bed was still around his mouth, gagging him. Panic rose to the surface, causing his chest to heave and his breath to come out in quick pants. Squirming on the bed, Loki whimpered and choked back a sob at the excruciating pain that shot down his lower half. He wasn't wearing any pants and he could feel something that had crusted over his skin. It was either blood or dried cum. Both options had his stomach twist uncomfortably.
He tried to figure out what he was going to do. Trapped as he was, Loki wouldn't be able to do anything until his father released him. And then what – call the police, run? Would Odin even allow him to do that now? He'd been trying to avoid the situation ever since it happened, tried to get out of the way and stay out of the way, elude Odin's company and try to forget. But obviously that wasn't happening. Something else needed to be done.
He wondered where his mother was. Two days ago, she was there and then she wasn't. He wondered if she abandoned him, ran, left him. He hated her for it. The tears streamed down his face, leaving him feeling dizzy and light-headed.
It was a little after seven-thirty when Loki heard the footsteps making their way towards his bedroom, and he could feel his body tensing up. His lower half was completely bear. Would his father assault him again? The thought had his stomach twisting and cramping painfully again, but he forced himself to calm down. Throwing up wouldn't do him any favours unless he wanted to die, and as scared as he was, as much as he hated himself for allowing it to happen, he didn't want to die. When the door opened, he stopped breathing.
"Did you sleep well?" Odin asked, slowly walking deeper into the room. From where Loki was lying, he couldn't see the door, and not knowing exactly where his father was made his heart race. Thankfully, he didn't have to wait long before Odin slowly came into view, his gaze staring outside the window. "I did."
Even though Odin wasn't looking at him, Loki flinched at his words. After all that he'd done, Loki still couldn't believe that the man raped him twice. And hearing how nonchalant he was about it made him question his entire childhood. The way that he was touched last night … the way that Odin's hands roamed over his skin … it was as though he was marvelling and basking in the moment. How long had he been harbouring those sick thoughts for? Did he do the same to Thor? Is that why Thor left? His chin trembled and he lowered his face to the mattress.
"Do you remember my proposition to you yesterday morning?" Odin asked after a moment of silence. He turned his eye to Loki, taking in his appearance. He must have looked like a mess, because Odin's lips quirked slightly, as though amused.
Swallowing thickly, Loki's fingers twitched slightly. His mind had been otherwise occupied, but the moment he recalled yesterday morning's events, he could feel the sudden desire and craving for another snort fill him. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, heat flushing over him, making him sweat. He had no money for heroin and this was Odin's way of shutting him up. His eyes prickled and watered until he closed them, feeling the tears leak from his closed lids. Instead of helping him through an addiction like any father would, Odin was blackmailing him. He didn't even know the man anymore.
"Loki."
His body tensed up all over again, his throat beginning to ache due to the lump that had formed.
"Nod or shake your head," He said, and that was all it took for the walls to break once more. Ignoring the indifferent look on Odin's face, Loki begged him to let him go. Of course, he probably didn't understand what he was saying, the tie wrapped around his mouth muffling off everything that he was trying to communicate. "I'm not letting you go," Dread and fear and panic and anger and terror washed over him like a tidal wave. Dropping his head back down to the mattress, Loki pulled at his wrists, knowing that he wouldn't get free, but hating how trapped and alone he felt. "Loki. Answer me. Nod or shake your head. Do you remember the proposition I made to you yesterday morning?"
Loki fell still and, after a moment, nodded his head.
"Look at me," Odin commanded in a low voice. Loki didn't, couldn't. "Look at me."
He remained defiant for almost a full minute before the fear of what Odin would do to him became too much for him to bear. Slowly lifting his head, Loki's eyes immediately latched onto a syringe that Odin had in his hand. He stopped breathing.
"You know what I want. And I know what you want," He waved the syringe a little. Loki heard him chuckle, obviously amused by the fact that Loki's eyes were following every move the syringe made in his hand. It made him sick how easily Odin had him, but he could barely think, his heart thundering in his chest. It took everything Loki had to not attempt to crawl up the mattress to get to where Odin was standing. "I purchased twenty milligrams of heroin just for you. I will give you five now if you give me what I want. Will you?"
Yes, he wanted to scream. He wanted to crawl up the bed and do whatever the hell Odin wanted as long as he could lose himself in that haze. But somehow he blinked, logic momentarily taking over. Would he really allow Odin to blackmail him into this? Loki knew that his father could simply inject him anyway and do whatever he wanted with him. But he could also let him suffer through it. He could leave the syringe in sight and rape him once more, torment him with its close presence, knowing that he'd never be able to get it.
Swallowing thickly, Loki slowly shook his head.
But … Odin was giving him a choice now. If Odin were merciful, he would wait until Loki was under the effects of the heroin before assaulting him again. Though five milligrams wasn't all that much, it would be enough to numb him, to leave him in a state of obliviousness – hopefully – long enough for Odin to do what he wanted and leave.
"Ten."
Loki started to openly cry, his sobs muffled off by the gag. Odin had his answer then. He cried when Odin flipped him over onto his back, bound arms pinned beneath him, and searched for a vein. He cried when he heard Odin undo the button and zipper of his jeans, pushing them down, his erection semi-hard already. And though Odin pushed inside of him before he was completely out of it, Loki was glad that it didn't take too long before the heroin took effect.
Author's Note – I hope you all enjoyed. Please review and tell me what you think so far.