I do not own TMNT

"Leo. Come on dude ya gotta get up." Raph's gruff voice echoed through Leo's semiconscious mind.

"Mmmm," Leo mumbled as he rolled over.

"Come on. You've been in here for one hour too long dis time. Mikey and Donny need you." A rough calloused hand gripped Leo's arm, tugging him towards the door.

"I'm comin' Raph. Give me a minute." Leo pushed to his knees, his head resting on the cement floor.

"Alright, we in da kitchen." Raph said as he stepped back.

"M'kay." Leo whispered to the closing door. He sighed and let the cold ground absorb his heat, soaking in the chill. Until lately, Leo had never enjoyed feeling cold, but now it was a sign to him; it meant he could still feel something, at least on the outside. The past 36 hours he had felt nothing on the inside. Nothing but the life slowly seep out of him. But he had to stay strong, hide his weakening if he must, for his brothers. They were still grieving the loss of their father. Leo could grieve later. Now he needed to fully take over the patriarchal role of the family, and to do that he had to be strong when his brothers were not.

He sighed again and pushed him self to a kneeling position. His muscles ached and groaned, but he hadn't done anything more tedious than walk since that night that seemed like eternity ago. After he had screamed his throat dry, he had slowly made his way back to the lair, his father's corpse cradled in his arms. At first, his brother's had thought it was a joke, but they soon found otherwise. Raph had reacted most violently. After snatching the rat from Leo's arms and begging his father to wake up, he delicately placed the body back into Leo's arms and ran to the dojo. Leo thought about going after Raph, but he decided not to and laid Splinter's body on the couch. Mikey cradled the head in his lap and Donny knelt next to them. Mikey immediately began crying and stroking the soft fur between the rat's ears while Donny just stared, a small grey wrist clamped between his fingers. Leo slowly made his way to his room, his body moving without any conscious thought. He fell to the floor, and didn't move until Raph had just woken him.

He hadn't been sleeping. He had been lying on his side, facing a cracked brick wall, and just staring. Leo hadn't felt anything but a dull gut-wrenching feeling, but he had focused his thoughts on the wall. He couldn't think about anything else without the risk of his control shattering and completely loosing his sanity.

Leo could tell his face was pale, his eyes droopy, and his back hunched over, but he couldn't find the strength to appear perfect. His brothers, especially Raph, would worry that he either was bottling up all of his pain or didn't care. Leo cared. God knew he cared. He had to show something, if only a tiny sliver of the agony he felt deep down.

He soon made it to the kitchen. He hadn't bothered to take off his gear or mask in almost three days. He probably looked like hell. It didn't matter; he had been there and back. Mikey, Don, and Raph were all sitting at the table. Tear streaks were visible on each of their dirty faces.

Silence ensued several minutes after Leo scraped back a chair and fell into it. Mikey stared at him, his baby blue eyes begging him for anything. Don was sadly studying some spot on the table, and Raph's eyes took turns watching each of his brothers.

Mikey sneezed and they all jumped.

"Bless you." Don mumbled.

"Thanks." Mikey croaked.

"You okay Mike?" Leo said, his voice rough and gravelly.

"Guess so." He whimpered.

Silence continued for a few more minutes until Raph spoke up. "How'd it happen, Leo?"

"It was my fault. I couldn't get to him in time."

"Leo, I don't give a damn whose fault it was cuz I sure as shell know it wasn' yours. So you better not pull the 'it's all my fault I need to die' card on me. Cuz you wont get away wit it." Raph growled. Leo hadn't expected such a harsh reaction from his brother, but he only stared blankly at the hothead. Leo looked at his huffing brother, and noticed how his eyes were shiny and his mask was getting darker around his eyes.

"Raph, I'm not trying to make you angry. I'll try not to be hard on myself, okay?" Raph continued to glare at him, but he finally nodded and Leo continued. "We were on our way home, the Elite showed up and we got separated. Next thing I knew, he was gone." Leo wiped at the stinging in his eyes and felt a soft hand on his shoulder. He looked up, and saw Mikey staring at him again.

"It's not your fault Leo. Please, don't kill yourself over it. If we know you, you did everything you could to help Splinter." A voice in Leo's head was screaming at him that everything they were saying was wrong and it was his fault Master Splinter was killed, but he pushed it aside, knowing that he had to acknowledge that voice when he wasn't surrounded by his brothers.

"What're we gonna do with the body?" Don breathed, his voice cracking with misuse. "He would have wanted a burial, but where?"

"The only place even safe enough is Casey's farm." Raph said.

"Is the body taken care of?" Leo whispered, pain lacing his words without control.

"Yeah, it'll be fine for a week or two." Donny barely made out.

Leo looked at Raph. "I'll talk to Case." He said softly as he stood up and grabbed the set of keys off the wall. A shadow of a smile passed Leo's face in gratitude. Mikey sniffled after Raph was gone.

"I'll leave you two to talk." Donny whispered as he stood up and headed to his lab.

"Mike, look at me." Leo pleaded. His brother's gaze was glued to the table. "Michelangelo." The blue eyes slowly found him, and Leo winced at the pain he saw in them.

"It'll be okay Mike." Leo whispered, only half believing it.

"You promise?" The blue eyes bagged him to say yes.

"I promise." He inwardly flinched at the lie.

A faint smile appeared on Mikey's face. He stood up and tugged Leo into a hug. Leo was shocked at first, but he soon returned the hug, a single tear slipped down his face.

"I'm gonna go keep Donny company." Mikey said softly.

Leo watched sadly as his brother walked off, and he fell back into the chair. Even those ten minutes had drained all of his energy. He felt ready to go back to his room or throwing up. He settled for slowly making tea; perhaps it would calm his anxious spirit. No noise came from Donnie's lab, which meant they must just be sitting in silence, being grateful to each other to just have company while grieving. Don hadn't said where the body was, but Leo guessed their old freezer was a lot fuller than it had been a week ago. Leo felt the hot rush of bile coming up his throat at the thought and forced it out of his mind. He timidly glanced at the clock. Half an hour since Raph had left. He must be at Casey and April's by now. The city was beginning to settle down now; he should have called. As if to compliment his thoughts, the phone on the wall rang and Leo jumped at the sudden noise.

"Hello?" He said loudly, trying to shake out the tire in his voice.

"Leo? It's me," Raph sounded breathless and slightly angry.

"Raph, what's wrong?" Leo said quickly. Don and Mikey appeared at the doorway to the kitchen.

"You need to come up now." He said urgently, his voice cracking in fear.

"Raphael, what is wrong?" Leo repeated as Don and Mikey came closer. He pressed the speaker button and held the phone out between them.

"They're dead, Leo." Raph cried. "April and Casey are lying dead in their living room."