And it was working – at least so far. It took a few hours after the injection but the Colonel was definitely getting better. His temperature had started to rise as had his pulse. They could all see the color coming back to his cheeks. Oh, he wasn't out of the woods yet but Janet was hopeful.
Sam had refused to budge from his side until it was obvious that he was much better. From being unconscious, or possibly even in a coma, he had moved into a deep and restful sleep. Janet had eventually insisted that she go to bed and sleep herself. It wasn't until she enlisted the General help that Sam finally agreed. She slept for 12 hours straight after that.
When she awoke she was planning to go and see Jack but instead was called to the Briefing Room. They had, as yet, not figured out what to do with the refugees and Hammond wanted something done immediately. Every available space in the SGC was taken by the women and children. They'd already had two babies born and the children were starting to get restless after being cooped up so long.
As Sam made her way into the Briefing Room she could see that Teal'c, Daniel, Janet and Griff were already there. The first thing she did was ask after the Colonel.
"He's doing well Sam. He's been sleeping although he woke up briefly." She smiled, "said he felt warm and then went back to sleep. I expect he'll wake up again soon."
Sam breathed a sigh of relief. He was going to be okay.
Just then the General arrived and got right to it.
"Okay people, what are we going to do about the situation we have here?" He was clearly anxious to have this resolved quickly.
"I spoke with the Tokra Sir", Daniel spoke. "They've made contact with the people on the planet Protea and explained the situation. The inhabitants said they would be pleased to take the women and children and welcome them to their community. From what Jacob said they're a kind, gentle people. They seemed very anxious to have the women come – I think the men there are pretty lonely!" There were a few soft chuckles around the room. It looked like there'd be a happy ending after all.
"But what about the women that were kidnapped with the Colonel and Sam?" Janet asked. She'd been so involved with looking after O'Neill that she hadn't been involved with the refugees – that she'd left with Dr. Warner and the other medical staff.
"I'm sure they'll want to go to Protea as well, Janet", Sam interjected. "I know they don't want to go back to their home planet, not after the way they were treated by the men there."
"But Major, it's different now. There should be no problem with them returning." Griff spoke up for the first time.
"What do you mean 'different'" Daniel looked puzzled. "We know the men there are abusive and these women don't need any more of that. Much better if they go somewhere where they'll be treated well."
"But they'll be treated well on their home planet." Janet leaned forward and spoke vehemently. "Daniel, Teal'c, you should get it. It's what happened to you. Those men were brainwashed in the same way you were. We were able to figure it out after you'd uh 'left'. We went to the planet and discovered that the aliens who had built the temple were basically trying to wipe out the local people by convincing them that women were evil. With the help of Amdahl we were able to 'deprogram' the men – or maybe I should say 'reprogram' them. Right now they are the sweatest bunch of men you could hope to find anywhere." She grinned and continued. "They are ready to love and respect their wives and mothers and sisters and daughters. They miss them terribly and want them back."
Sam sat frowning, still unconvinced. "But even though the men may have changed", she said in a voice that sounded doubtful, "the women still have the memories of abuse. Do you really think they'll be able to forgive and forget?"
"Forget? No. Forgive – maybe. Sam, I know it's not going to be easy and the men themselves know that. They're not expecting the women to come back and embrace them as if nothing happened. They know it's going to take time and a lot of patience and care. But they're willing to do that. These women have suffered a lot of trauma – both before and after being stolen from their homes. It's not going to be instant but isn't it better that they go back to the same place and culture they grew up in rather than having to learn a whole new life on top of everything else? It will also help the children get to know their fathers – their true fathers who will want to love and nurture them."
There was silence as everyone in the room contemplated what to do. It was finally Teal'c who spoke up.
"Should it not be the decision of the women themselves? They have had few choices in their lives. Is now not the time to let them control their own destinies?"
"I think Teal'c is right." Sam sat forward in her chair and spoke to Hammond. "General, why don't we explain to Martia and the others and let them chose. If they decide to go back to P8V 359 we should also tell them that we will check on them and if they change their minds we can take them to Protea."
With a deep breath the General nodded. "That sounds like an idea Major Carter. Why don't you go and speak to this Martia woman and have her convey that to the rest. The women from other planets can be told they will be taken to Protea as soon as they are able to travel. We will do the same with the women there. We can check on them occassionaly and make sure they are all right. Okay people, it looks like we have a solution. Good job everyone. This has been a hard time for all of you. Once we've resolved the issue of the women I'm giving you all 2 weeks leave. Use it wisely to rest up!" With a smile of pride – and relief – he dismissed his people.
"Janet, do you think you could come with me to speak with Martia? I think she'll need to hear this from you. I wasn't there so - "
"Of course Sam." She turned to Teal'c and Daniel. "If you want the two of you can go and see how the Colonel is doing. If he's awake let him know we'll be down in a little while."
As the two women walked down the corridor to the room where Martia and her children were staying Janet noticed that Sam had gone quiet. Glancing at her friend she was concerned to see that she looked sad. Stopping, she turned to Sam.
"Is everything okay Sam?"
"Hmm." Sam then turned and realizing they'd stopped, looked at Janet with a question in her eyes. "What Janet?"
"I asked if everything was okay. You seem – upset about something."
"Oh. No, no, I'm fine. Just thinking I guess." She resumed walking, not saying anything more.
Janet knew there was something, but she also knew that look and that Sam wasn't about to share anything, at least not now. She suspected it had something to do with the Colonel and what had happened on the planet.
Her suspicions were correct. Sam had realized, as soon as the Colonel had begun to get better, that things hadn't really changed. They were still bound by regulations and there was no child or anything that would force a change. Their declarations of love notwithstanding, Sam knew that things would have to return to the way they'd always been – unless one of them was willing to make a change.
She also worried that it had been the situation on the planet that had caused feelings to flare up – feelings that had been dormant and practically dead for a long while, at least on the part of the Colonel. She also realized that Pete was still in the picture. She hadn't thought of him for days, hadn't even missed him she realized. That thought made her feel horribly guilty.
Pete was a good man who loved her and made her feel wanted. Should she simply give that up for a love that would never see the light of day? Maybe this was the time to truly let go of her feelings for the Colonel. Maybe this incident should prove, once and for all, that things could never be normal between the two of them. The General had given her two weeks off. She decided, then and there, that she'd take those two weeks and go away and decide where she wanted her life to take her. She suspected it was not going to be at the side of Jack O'Neill.
She'd call Pete tonight – he didn't know she was back. In fact, she realized she didn't even know what he'd been told about her long absence. She'd explain that she'd been trapped and that she needed a break. After her 'vacation' she'd know what to say to him. She knew she didn't love him – at least not like she loved Jack – but maybe he was what she needed. She also had to figure out whether to tell him about what had happened on the planet. That would be fun!
"Sam. Sam, SAM!" She started as she realized that Janet had been calling her name for quite a while.
"What?"
"We're here. You were a long way off?" Janet wondered if she'd get Sam to talk.
"Sorry Janet. Just thinking about Pete." Damn, thought the doctor. I'd hoped she'd gotten over the little weasel. Then she felt guilty – she knew the cop wasn't a bad man – but he also was no Jack O'Neill.
"Okay. We'd better talk to Martia now."
The two women spent the next half hour explaining to the young woman all that had occurred on her home planet. At first she was skeptical and adamant that she didn't want to return to Amdahl. After assurances that earth would check on them regularly and make sure they were being treated well she agreed to talk to the others. She couldn't promise who would want to return but she would try.
As she walked Sam and Janet to the door she reached out and grasped Sam's arm.
"How is Jack?" she asked. Sam suddenly felt guilty. They had forgotten to say anything to this woman who had helped them so much.
"He's much better Martia. Janet was able to find a cure and he's getting better." Martia looked confused.
"But my mistress said that there was only one way to cure this. She said that Jack would have to - "
"Uh Martia", Janet interrupted quickly. "I know what your mistress said but we have some very sophisticated medicines on earth and I was able to figure it out. Don't worry, O'Neill will be just fine."
Martia looked at her strangely for a moment and then glanced at Sam. Her eyes grew big as she realized that Samantha did not know. She turned back to Janet and caught the subtle shake of the healer's head. Okay, she thought to herself, she would not say anything – but she believed they were wrong. Samantha should be told.
"Then I am happy for him. He is a good man and he deserves to be well. I only wish he could also receive the happiness he deserves." With that she softly closed the door, leaving the two earth women alone.
"That was strange. I wonder what she meant?" Sam frowned. There had been something off about that whole conversation, as if something important wasn't being said. When she looked at Janet the doctor just shrugged as if she knew nothing. Hmm, thought Sam, very strange.
By the time they reached the Infirmary they could hear the sound of male laughter. They walked in on Daniel and Teal'c teasing the man in the bed. Sam was relieved to see how much better Jack – no, how much better the Colonel looked. He was thin and tired looking but otherwise seemed okay.
"How are you feeling Colonel?" Janet walked up and took his wrist, feeling his pulse.
"Fine Doc – except these guys are driving me crazy. Can't you tell them I've been sick and need to be humored?" O'Neill grinned but gave a surreptitious glance towards Carter who was looking anywhere but at him. He felt his heart sink but kept up his cheerful façade.
"Humored? I don't think so Colonel. I think they need to keep you in line. We all know what you're like when you're in the Infirmary."
"Yeah – so let me out. That way we'll all be happy."
"Well, you're looking pretty good Sir but I want to keep you for a bit longer, just to make sure you really are okay. You were pretty sick you know."
"I guess", he said softly, again looking at Sam. He was glad to be on the mend and really did feel pretty well but he was dying of curiosity to know how he'd gotten better. Maybe what Martia had told him was simply an old wives tale and really didn't have anything to do with Sam. The thought somehow depressed him.
"Uh, what did you do Janet? How come I'm gettin' better?" As he looked at the doctor he could have sworn she looked guilty – but then a second later he doubted what he'd seen. She looked her normal, professional self.
"Oh, we analyzed your blood and were simply able to synthesize an antidote. Once we figured out what was wrong it wasn't too difficult." She hoped to God O'Neill would be satisfied with that! She'd forgotten about Sam.
"But what was wrong with him Janet? Was it an infection, a virus or was it poison?"
"Ah – kind of a virus caused by poison?" Oh yeah, that sounded scientific Janet.
Sam frowned. Janet was uncomfortable about something which wasn't like her. "So what did you use for the antidote?"
Sam glanced at Daniel who seemed to be squirming. This time it was him, rather than the Colonel, who decided to change the subject.
"Hey guys – let's not talk any more about poisons and antidotes. Hey Jack, did you hear that the Rockies won last night? Yeah – it was a great game."
Okay, thought Sam, I went to sleep and woke up in an alternate reality. Something really weird was going on when Daniel started to talk sports. Soon the guys – and Janet? – were talking sports and other inane things. Sam just shook her head.
After a while O'Neill began to look tired and Janet shooed everyone out. As she turned to leave a hand reached out and grabbed her arm. "Stay for a minute Carter", said a soft voice. She tried to pull her arm away but he held on until she gave a tiny nod, still not looking at him.
Janet gave one stern look at the Colonel and a muttered 'five minutes' and then left them alone.
"So Major, how are you?" Sam closed her eyes. She was right – they were back to their old relationship. Things hadn't changed.
"I'm fine Sir." She answered without looking up.
"Major – Sam" at that she glanced up briefly. He was looking at her with an intense expression. "You weren't feeling well, back on the planet ….?" She sucked in deep breath. That's what this was about. He wanted to know if she was pregnant.
"Janet said it was probably a mild virus. I'm feeling fine now."
"So you're not ….?"
"No", she answered quickly. "No, I'm fine." She waited to see what he would say but the silence was deafening. She gave another quick peak to see his reaction. She wondered if he would look relieved or disappointed. She so hoped for the latter. When she could see his face, however, she couldn't tell one way or another. His expression was blank.
"I'm glad", he said softly. Did that mean he was glad she wasn't pregnant or was glad she was well? Damn – this was awful. She just wanted to get out of here.
"I'm glad you're okay too Sir. We were worried. Uh, you need your rest Sir and Janet's going to kick me out soon so I'd better be going. Have a nice night." She started to back away from his bed, knowing she was babbling. She was almost at the door when she heard a quiet "Sam?"
"I'm sorry Sir. I'm tired, I really have to go. Good night." With that she swiftly walked out of the room and made her way to her quarters where she promptly fell on the bed and dissolved into tears.
Jack lay still for long after she'd left. He felt numb but knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that the pain would start soon. He'd so hoped that things had changed. He was sure she had told him she loved him. Why had she run away again? Had she changed her mind? No, it was probably the fact that they were back and real life had again intruded. Their time on the planet hadn't been real and he should have never expected it to change anything.
Sam had Pete and a real life ahead of her, a normal life. What could he offer her? Nothing. Just an old warn out soldier with more baggage than anyone should be forced to carry around with them. If he truly loved her he had to walk away.
God, he'd so hoped she was pregnant. It was selfish of him, he knew. It wouldn't have been fair to Carter but it would have meant that at least things would have been brought out into the open. At least it would have given them a chance. His lips curved in a small smile; he would also have loved to have a son or daughter who looked like Sam and who hopefully had her brains. Maybe he could have given his kid his love of animals and fishing and the Simpsons – but the best parts would have come from her.
He lay for the longest time, looking at the ceiling, knowing that he now had a life in front of him without the one person who had made things bearable. He wished to God this whole thing hadn't happened. He wished he could go back to the time before they'd left for that damned planet!
"Colonel, you need to rest." Janet's soft voice intruded on his thoughts. When he looked over at her he could see the compassion in her face. Somehow she knew. Danny and Teal'c probably knew as well. Hell, he expected the whole damn base knew.
"Yeah – nothing else for me to do Doc." She walked over to his bed and reached out and laid a hand on his arm.
"It'll be okay Sir."
"Really? Sometimes I wonder Janet." He closed his eyes briefly, feeling tired and very, very sorry for himself. As he continued to lay there without moving he could hear the Doctor moving softly about the room, obviously keeping her eye on him. Suddenly he had a thought.
"Hey Doc, what was it you gave me? Was it really some kind of virus that I had?"
Janet walked over and looked down at the Colonel. Should she tell him? Would it make him feel better? Probably not, but he didn't need to be lied to, not now.
"No, it wasn't a virus. I don't know what it was exactly. All I know is is that you and Sam were somehow 'linked' – your body chemistry and brain waves had almost identical readings. You were showing signs of major stress – just like someone who is experiencing extreme withdrawal."
"So, what they said was true, I really was 'addicted' to her?"
"It appears so."
"So, how did you 'unadict' me? They told me that the only way was to – ah –"
"I know – you and Sam had to – what was the word?"
"Mai'thun."
"Yeah, that. Well, I got to thinking about that and figured out that what your body probably needed was some of her DNA."
He raised an eyebrow at that. "Unique way of putting it."
She grinned and continued. "Yes, and that made me remember the incident with Machello and his little worms."
"You mean when Sam gave us a shot of her blood cells? So that's what you did, isn't it?"
"Yes, exactly." She'd always known Jack was smart. He'd figured it out right away.
"But how did you get Carter to agree without telling her." He suddenly looked slightly panicked. "You didn't tell her did you?"
"No, no one has told her a thing. We didn't tell her anything about the blood Sir. She donates blood regularly and we used some of that. I wouldn't have to tell her if I'd used it in a transfusion so I didn't tell her about this."
"Somehow it doesn't seem the same Doc. It doesn't seem right.
"I know, I worried about it too. Do you want her to know?"
Jack thought about it for a while, knowing that if she ever found out he'd have one furious Major on his hands – and with good reason. On the other hand, he didn't know what telling her would accomplish. Maybe it was best to let sleeping dogs – or maybe sleeping Majors – lie.
"You won't need to do it again will you?" He'd wondered about that even with the 'Mai'thun' thing; whether or not this was a temporary or permanent condition.
"No, I don't think so. Everything seems totally fine now. I want to keep you for a couple of more days" she continued as he started to object. "On base, Colonel. I'll let you sleep in your quarters, okay?" When he agreed she continued. "If everything still looks good then I think you'll be fine."
"Well, in that case let's not say anything. I think it's best forgotten."
"Okay Colonel. Uh, we should also discuss the ah …" she pointed vaguely in the direction of his chest.
"Rings. Yeah, I know. I want them off as soon as possible. I don't want anyone to know about them."
"I understand Colonel. There's just one problem."
He looked at her suspiciously. "What?"
"I haven't figured out how to get them off yet."
"What do you mean? Just cut the damn things off."
"Well, there's only one problem with that. We can't figure out what kind of metal it is and so far it's impervious to cutting."
"WHAT! Come on – just get a torch or something." This couldn't be happening. Don't tell him it was like that damn skewer thing that had pinned him to the gate room wall all those years ago.
"Sorry Sir, that would burn you badly. I have Siler working on it to figure something out. We may end up having to do surgery."
"Surgery? What the hell – you mean cut them out?" When she nodded he exploded "No way! You are not cutting my … chest! Find another way!"
"We're trying Sir. Now I want you to sleep. You've been through a lot and you need to regain your strength." She reached over and lowered his bed and then the lights. As she turned around to take one last look at her favorite patient she felt a tightness in the back of her throat. He looked so completely and utterly sad, like the last good think in his life had died.
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
"Hey, where you going Sam?" Daniel came down the corridor just in time to see the Major walk out of her quarters, a duffel bag in her hand.
"Just heading off for that two weeks the General gave us. I need a break for a while."
"Oh?" Daniel frowned in concern. He'd been sure she would stay around to watch after Jack. "Is Jack taking off too?"
"Huh? The Colonel? No Daniel – at least I don't think so. I haven't asked him." She looked flustered and began walking faster. "Gotta go Daniel. Take it easy and I'll see you when I'm back."
"Wait! Sam. What's going on?" He reached her and took her arm, stopping her from leaving.
"What do you mean Daniel? I told you, I'm taking a short holiday."
"But what about Jack?"
"What about him? He's doing fine. Janet says she's going to let him go in a day or too. He just needs to regain some weight and he'll be back to normal."
"What's going on Sam?" he asked. When she refused to answer or even to look at him he sighed. "Come on, talk to me. You love him and he loves you. Why are you doing this?"
"Don't Daniel. Just …. don't. What happened on that planet and on the ship was just because of the circumstances. It doesn't mean anything here. Here we're Colonel and Major and there can't be anything else between us. He's going to be fine and we'll go back to where we were before. Everything will be fine, just like it was."
"Don't lie to yourself Sam. You know that's not true. For one thing it wasn't fine before you left and how can you expect either of you to be able to ignore what happened? You told him you loved him, for God's sake. Are you just going to walk away from that?"
"Daniel, don't you get it? The Colonel doesn't want me, not really. I'm 'forbidden fruit'. So forbidden that it would destroy his career. He's given too much to the Air Force, too much to the universe to just let it all go."
"Sam, don't you get it? You're right – he's given everything, and now you're asking him to give the one thing that means everything to him. This will crush him and I think it may crush you."
"No it won't. I'm going to go away for a while and get my head on straight. The Colonel will be fine and so will I. I told you, things will be back to normal in no time."
"What about Pete? Are you going to go back to him? Is he the 'normal' you're hoping to regain." Daniel was angry and wanted to lash out. How could she do this to Jack?
"Yes Daniel – maybe he is. Maybe I will go back to him, but you know what? It's none of your damn business. Now just let me go!" She yanked her arm away and headed to the elevator. This time Daniel didn't try and stop her.