I got back to the house freezing wet and shivering a bit.
"Bella!" Paul shouted and came rushing to us.
"I'm fine. Just a little cold; Don't worry." I said while still holding onto Sam's neck.
"Let's go get you cleaned up and into some dry clothes." Sam said, walking to the stairs.
"No, it's ok. I can do it." I told him, telling him to set me down.
His face became gloomy but he let me down none the less.
"I will be right back." I told them all and ran up the stairs. As soon as I got to my bedroom I began stripping out of the clothes.
How could you be so stupid Bella? Falling asleep at the cemetery. I cursed myself as I walked around my room getting fresh dry clothes.
When I was done getting dressed, I headed downstairs to the pack.
"Hey." I muttered softly as they (Paul, Seth and Jared) made room for me on the couch.
"Dude, this storm is crazy." Embry said.
"No kidding." Quil commented.
"Bells." Paul whispered.
I let out a sigh and nodded. "I know Paul ok?" I said slightly frustrated.
He gave me a knowing look but dropped the topic. All eyes were on us at that point.
I shifted in my seat, feeling uncomfortable with the silence and the stares. Finally I got up and went to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate and enjoy my own peace.
"Bella?" a voice asked softly.
I turned my head, finding Seth in the doorway.
"Hey Seth." I said softly looking down at my hot cup of chocolate.
"Can I sit?" he asked referring to the kitchen chair across from me at the table.
"Sure, go ahead." I said without a thought.
I stared out the window, observing the dark rainy night till Seth spoke up.
"We really skrewed up didn't we?" he asked softly.
I closed my eyes for a second, not finding myself sure if I wanted to talk about this topic.
It's now or never Bella Swan. I thought to myself.
"It's not so much as trusting you anymore. It's more about trusting myself." I told him softly.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"I don't know if I can be the same person you all expect me to be." I whispered as I looked in my mug.
"Bella, we aren't expecting anything from you except your forgiveness."
"You're so sure I can do that." I pointed out to him.
"Of course I can. For as long as I have known you, you have the biggest heart of a person I have ever seen. You don't give yourself enough credit."
We both went silent again, and this time, I was the one to speak.
"I-….You all expect me to forgive you. And I get that. I can't punish you all forever, but you also have to know that I can't just hop into a friendship with you all again like I did. I made that mistake way too many times for my liking now." I muttered at the end.
"And us?" Seth said with hope in his eyes. I let out a frustrated sigh and looked at him.
"I don't know where we stand Seth. I barely know where I stand with any of you guys."
"Bella, please. I need some sort of answer." He pleaded.
"I want you to be my best friend again Seth. I want to have all those good times again and do all the things that we promised."
"But?" he asked slightly scared.
"But I don't know. I don't want to hold back, but I feel like I need to. I don't want to make the same mistakes I already have Seth."
Seth's eyes casted down and he looked heartbroken.
"You mean you don't want to get heartbroken by me again." He said bluntly.
"I…" I tried thinking of something to make him feel better, but I didn't know exactly what to say.
"I love you Seth, you know that right?" I said after a minute.
Seth looked up and met me directly in the eyes.
"You mean that?"
I let out a laugh. "Of course I do. I will love you forever, no matter what happens, even with this dumb shit."
"I love you too Bells." He said with a smile.
A small growl was sounded through the house and I sighed.
"I guess we should go talk about our feelings now?" I grumbled.
Seth gave a bright smile and wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we walked into the room full of wolves. He gave a quick kiss to my head and sat down.
I decided to just go with what I was feeling (besides tired). I went over to Sam, who was sitting on the comfy recliner chair and plopped down on his lap.
I could tell he was shocked, by the way his body froze and the relaxed with his arms around me.
"I know I have been acting totally off the wall, and I'm sorry." I muttered to everyone, especially him.
"It's ok." He whispered and kissed my head.
I let out a breath. "I don't know exactly if I'm ready to forgive you all completely, but I want to try, if that's ok." I told them.
Grins were spread across the room and everyone nodded and smiled.
"That is totally fine by us." Jake said.
We all talked a while after that, and I listened as my eyes drooped.
"Let's get you to bed." Sam whispered to me.
"I'm ok. And you know, you all can go home now. I'm not sure if the living room of this house is that comfy." I said to everyone.
Everyone shrugged their shoulders. "It's fine with me. And it's still pretty bad. Mind if we stay?" Jared asked.
I shrugged my shoulders back. "Sure, you can do whatever you like…within logical reason." I added.
Everyone let out a small chuckle and Sam patted me off his lap.
"Bed. Come on." He ordered.
I rolled my eyes but stomped to the stairs. On the way there, I gave Seth a kiss on the cheek and said goodnight to everyone else.
"No kiss to your brother?" Paul asked faking hurt.
I rolled my eyes and blew him a kiss. "That's the best you are going to get buddy boy."
Everyone laughed except Paul as Sam and I made my way to the bedroom.
As I crawled into bed, I pulled Sam with me, bringing his body close to mine so I could snuggle.
"Bella, where do we stand?" he asked in a very hopeful tone.
I let out a sigh and let my heart speed up.
"I don't know Sam. I want to say back where we were, but that is just fooling ourselves."
"Do you still love me?" he asked.
I lifted my head from his chest. "Of course I still love you. How could I not? Sam you are still an amazing person, even if I couldn't see that at first. I know you tried your hardest to do what's best for me and I know I reacted unfairly."
"No, you didn't." he commented.
"Sam, just because I was mad at you doesn't mean I didn't love you, and it sure doesn't mean I don't love you. I love you with most of my heart." I smiled and kissed him.
"Most?" he asked.
"Well Seth and Paul and everyone else of course."
"Seth?" he asked squeezing my hip.
"Yup, I love him. Lots. And even though I love you, loving him doesn't change either."
Sam let out a small animalistic growl and I rolled my eyes.
"Cool down Papa Wolf, it's a different kind of love."
Silence was brought upon us again till Sam kissed my head.
"I love you."
"And I love you." I told him before closing my eyes to fall asleep.
A/N: Continue with more?