My email isn't working so on my laptop I kept up and just refreshed every once in a while after chapter 13 went up. Few hours later I went into the kitchen and grabbed my iPod, laptop being shut off I decided to check. Logged into it – mobile version! – on my iPod and it said, under 'Responsibilities" 128 reviews. At first I was like, hmm. But then I remembered last time I checked it was 112. I started crying.
Yeah. No joke.
I cried. I few minutes later it was at 130. Hour later at 131.
I tear up every time I think about – I'm about to cry right now. I love you guys, I really do. If I get lots more reviews – hint, hint, nudge, nudge – maybe I'll complete the banner for this story.
I just learned how to work Photoshop – slightly – and I spent hours doing ONE banner.
...And another few trying to get in onto the Internet...
"This house is amazing," I said in awe. "I can't believe you live here."
He smiled. "Pretty good for Forks, huh?"
"Good? Try amazing. Its so...amazing here."
"Mmm," he hummed in response, a typical guy response I'd always heard.
The house really was a craft, stunning in every way and incredibly spacious. The indoor pool, the sauna...the library. What shocked me most was when he told me they also had an outdoor pool and hot tub, directing to the floor-to-ceiling window from the library. It was huge and so blue, looking so appealing, even though it was far from swim-worthy weather.
As we started back down the hall and the sounds of little-girl laughter echoed, I turned to Edward, stopping him. "Please don't mention it to anyone," I said quickly. "Ever."
He looked down at me for a few seconds as if he were weighing his options. "I already said I wouldn't tell, Bella. I promise." I nodded, walking ahead of him when he grabbed onto my arm and stopped me. "You have to let me help you," he murmured hastily.
I shook my head quickly. "No. No you can't, Edward." I exhaled. "You can't make a big deal out of this – it can't get out. It will ruin everything!" This sent my breathing onto a rage of hyperventilation. I knew I shouldn't have come here, I knew I shouldn't have gotten involved—
"But you need help!" he objected, yelling in the whispering way. "Your getting abused in your own house, Bella, your living in fear with those four little girls! I don't want to see this happen."
"Well, no one's forcing you to watch," I grumbled, turning away and heading for the girls.
Melly was the first to run to me and I picked her up, kissing her cheek. I put her on my hip as I watched what Alice and the girls were doing.
Playing. It was as simple as that and yet so far from it. Alice was ticking Emma, making her laugh so hard I thought she wouldn't be able to breathe. Caitlyn was even smiling while Sophie was passed out on couch. It was the cutest thing ever. Completely spread and knocked out, Sophie's lips were parted with her arms flopped out. Poor girl. So exhausted.
"Alice, what are you doing to my little girl?" I asked half-heartily.
She grinned up at me. "We're having fun, thank you very much!"
I sat down on the couch with Melly on my lap, gently running my fingers through the little hair Sophie had. Alice feel down beside Emma, breathing hard, exaggerating of course.
"You tired me out!" She ticked Emma's sides again, forcing a squeal out of her.
"When are we eating?" Edward asked, taking it upon himself to go over and pick up Emma from the floor. He held her in his own arms, making funny faces at her. Naturally, her adoration for him showed through and she started patting his cheeks, making hollow sounds. "Um...ow," Edward drawled, sticking his tongue out at her.
The emotion had been wiped from our previous conversation and he was back to being Lolliward.
"Pizza will be here any second now," Alice said, rising to her feet and dusting off her knees. "You guys ready?"
I set Melly down and she ran to attach her hand to Alice's on the opposite side of Caitlyn, and they disappeared down the hall. I relaxed back into the couch with my hand on my Sophie's little head. It had been years sense I had ever felt so safe at one place and so relaxed all the same. The Cullens felt like a little sanctuary – like I couldn't be hurt here. Though I found it easier to protect my girls here, away from pain and misfortune, I also felt more vulnerable here. There was only so much I could do in someone else's home...
"Look Bella, I know I said I didn't want to talk, but I can't get this off my mind!" Edward gripped, his own frustration-induced rage seeping through. "Can I please ask you something?" I shook my head numbly. "Bella, please? This is getting me so..."
"Grossed out? Disgusted with me?" I accused, standing up and immediately stepping forward for Emma. He held her away and I frowned.
"I never said that," he muttered. "Just knowing that...it makes me sick. You have to let me help you, Bella, I'll do anything, I swear. Just let me..." He looked down at Emma. "Let me help you guys."
"How?" I asked. "I have everything I need – I'm doing just fine right now. Once school's done, I'm heading off to college with them." To distract myself from his horrible pinning gaze, I slowly scooped my hands under Sophie's arms, my fingers spreading out to support her head, as I lifted her up and into my arms. Her breathing wavered for a second but her cheek fell flat against my shoulder, and I felt the even breaths against my neck.
Edward stepped closer. "You can't believe that. You can't believe that you can just take your sisters away without your parents having a say – they have custody," he said gently. Like he was trying to break some news to me, which I guess he was. This was like a slow torture.
Knowing I really couldn't protect them how I wished I could.
"I will, though," I told him seriously. "I know I can't just take them, but I have no option – I can't just leave them! Something will happen and I won't be able to live with myself if...if something happens. I'll get custody of them."
"Bella, its not that easy. You would have to tell a judge why you should get custody of four young girls, and you can't just dodge the truth. You'll have to say that your being abused."
No one needed to know that. I already knew about everything in that process of gaining the rights of children from extensive Google jobs, and I was already aware that this is no walk in the park. I had to prove that I was better, which shouldn't have been too hard, but it was the part of showing that I could convince them that I could support us all when I didn't even have a job.
I sat back down on the couch, defeated. Suddenly I wasn't even slightly hungry. I just wanted to cry: I'd never felt so vulnerable, so helpless. Always doing what I could with what I had, there was never a reason to doubt that the girls would have the best life I could give. I couldn't just give in and leave them behind – I wouldn't even consider it.
My face buried itself in Sophie's hair, my eyes squeezing shut, unshed tears building up behind the eyelids.
"Bella, don't cry," Edward said tiredly. I felt the couch dip and an arm around my shoulders, his hand trying to coax my chin up. I looked away, head still bent and my hair covering all view.
That's all I could do now: cry. Cry for the abuse. Cry for the turn my life took. Cry for every responsibility I had to take on.
Footsteps sounded distantly. "Are you guys – oh, sorry to interrupt!" I recognized the voice as Emmett's. I couldn't bear to look up so he could see that I was crying over my sleeping sister.
"We'll be there in a minute," Edward said after a moment of silence. "Can you take the girls, though?" I saw out of the corner of my eye as Emma's slip-on—clad feet hit the floor and Emmett's heavier footsteps getting closer.
"Here, Bella, I'll take her," he said gently. I moved Sophie so she was cradled in both my arms and slowly held her up to Emmett, my eyes cast down with my hair blocking everything out. If only it could block out the pain. "Oh, sleepy baby!" he whispered in a goofy voice that made me smile. "Its so cute! Uh, which is which?"
"Sophie is the sleeping one and Emma is the awake one, Em," Edward said flatly, forgetting any humour in the situation.
I looked up enough to watch Emma walk while holding Emmett's hand, his crippled back, and just the top of Sophie's head around his left arm. There was something so...alluring about a big, strong male holding a small, delicate child.
I don't know how long Edward let me cry into his chest but it had to be closing on an hour, and I was growing exhausted. My eyelashes were stuck together from the tears, but no matter how hard I tried to stop I would think of something that slowly helped to break me inside. Why Edward put up with me this way, I had no idea. Did he not have better things to do than support an emotional teenager with problems to boot?
Edward continued to whisper for me to calm down. It took a few more minutes before I could breath steadily and the tears started seeping into my pores, my grip still not faltering on Edward. It felt good to be this close to someone and someone who actually cared.
"I don't know why you care about me," I whispered hoarsely. "I'm nothing special, I have nothing to offer you. You could have such better friends..."
His hand smoothed over my hair. "I care about you, Bella, because to me you are special. I'd rather be friends with someone real and more down-to-earth than someone like Jessica. I can't stand loud people," he laughed. "Plus, I swear Emma is my long-lost daughter."
I laughed once, quietly. "Long-lost daughter? Is there something you didn't tell me?"
"She loves me, Bella!"
"I know," I smiled.
"And you are special." I opened my mouth to contradict him, but he continued on. "No, don't say your not, because clearly the way I see you and you see yourself, are two different worlds. I like you, Bella, a lot. I have never met anyone your age that is so caring, beautiful and intelligent."
I stared at him in silence. "Where you homeschooled?" I asked dryly.
He shook his head and I would have swore I saw an eye roll. "I like you a lot, Bella, because you are special," he told me. I felt heat rising in my cheeks again at his words. "You are like no other."
"I like you a lot too," I admitted quietly, embarrassed. I'd never liked a boy as much as I liked Edward, but that was probably because I distanced myself from other kids. Who would want anyone to find out that they are abused? But it felt different telling Edward. It felt...good, as much as I regretted it. I knew I liked Edward a lot more than I should, a lot more than what was safe.
"Are you ready to go eat now?" he asked, putting his hand over mine that was crumpling his T-shirt. "Everyone's in the theatre room."
I gave him a look. "The theatre room?" I repeated levelly.
"Yeah, I didn't show you it because I wanted it to be a surprise. Let's go." Edward grabbed my hand and feverishly wiped at my eyes with my free hand. He led me down the same hall and stopped in the kitchen.
He gestured to the door around the corner, the one I'd assumed was some sort of closet. A faint noise was coming from the door. Edward twisted the knob and the noise got louder as a steep set of dark stairs opened before us. As we made our way down I saw that a row of theatre-style chairs spread across most of the room in front of the theatre-style screen, and behind them was a bar. I saw candy and popcorn machine, a mini-refrigerator sitting on the bar.
This was incredibly. I looked over my shoulder at Edward incredulously. He just grinned softly at me and gestured me forward.
In front of the chairs were three mattresses laid out and pizza boxes galore. I noticed that, pushed to the far corner of the room and just out of the light of the screen, was another mattress with two little bodies on it. Melly and Caitlyn were sitting on one of the mattresses between Alice and Jasper, while Rosalie was sitting on the other side of Jasper.
Edward sat down beside Emmett on the chairs, right in front the screen, and I sat beside him. Only after a second of the high volumes of the movie did I make my way over to check on the twins. I walked more steps than I would have thought possible for a single room in this house. It was HUGE. Even when I glanced back, everyone looked small. Even Emmett. Maybe there was more to this house than I thought.
I crouched down beside them. Both were out cold, exhausted. I could tell they wouldn't be waking up for awhile, though I did wonder how they could sleep through this. Even to me it was incredibly loud.
As I straightened up, still looking at the girls, I started to get that watched feeling. Glancing over my shoulder I saw both Edward and Emmett looking at me and talking. Where they talking about me? I wondered. It felt like it. I put the feelings aside as I turned around – noticing that they both looked away – and went back to my seat.
We ate, we talked, we laughed, and I'd never felt so included in my life. At the same time of feeling happy, I felt worry. Dragging people under with me was scary, but not as scary as what would happen when Charlie finds out someone knows about the abuse.
Edward took us home about ten and as I watched him drive away, I felt my happiness draining.
Back to the routine and, after listening to the answering machine, back to the abuse without someone to lean on.
Not a cliffy, my loves! Anyway, the more reviews I get, the faster I will update. I do need to give 'An Intense Dark Side' and 'Three's a Family' some intimate attention, though, so. I'm thinking an EPOV is going to be needed some. And I have a banner. I also have three story idea swimming in my head...
Review for update and Responsibilities banner!
Love, Glitter 3