My plans got cancelled so I had more time on my hands than I thought I would. I hope you enjoy.
The next couple of chapters are to bring Sam up to speed on what really went on. So no real progress in time, just an explanation. The ending is a little mushy, but it seemed a good place to break. I hope you'll stick with me because there's some McFun coming.
"OK, I'll start" Sarah began with a frown but then smiled as she thought back to the first time she spoke to Andy.
"You know how Halloween is usually bad for me because there are so many people outside and wanting to come to the door. Well, I shut off all the lights as usual and sat in the dark so that no one would come. It was pretty quiet, but I did hear a few teenagers outside just before I fell asleep. I woke up the next morning to get the paper and they had egged the house. I was quite upset so I tried to call you at the station and Andy answered when they patched me through to your desk. I was going to call your cell, but she said you were meeting with your staff sergeant and wouldn't be available for a while. I think she could tell that I was upset because she asked if there was anything she could do."
Sarah continued, "I didn't really want to talk to anyone but you, but Andy wouldn't let me off the phone till she was sure I was ok. She just kept talking and I could just feel myself relaxing." Sam smiled and put his hand on Andy's. He knew exactly what his sister was talking about. And although there were many times he just wanted her to be quiet, he could also remember many times when Andy's voice was the only thing that calmed him down when he was upset.
Sarah grinned at Sam's reaction and kept going, "She put me at ease so quickly, and it had been so long since I'd had a girlfriend to talk to. It felt really good." Both Sam and Sarah recalled sadly that most of her girlfriends had stopped calling when Sarah continuously turned down their invitations. "She got called away but asked me to call her back at 9:30 that night so we could finish our conversation."
When Sam wondered aloud, "why didn't you call me back later?" Sarah simply said, "I didn't need to – I already felt better and I was going to call Andy back so I didn't see the need." Sam grinned; he had always known that the two of them would get along.
"We must have talked for at least an hour and a half that first night, and we didn't really even talk about anything important. We talked about everything and nothing at the same time. We agreed to talk again the next night, but Andy wanted to make sure she would be able to answer so we set a time of 9:30pm again. That way Andy had plenty of time to get home if she had to work late, and also had enough time to stop for a drink if she wanted to. It just became a habit." Sam nodded. Well, now the 9 o'clock curfew made sense.
"After a few nights, we started talking about more of the heavy stuff: the attack, Andy's mother leaving…" and then Sarah placed her hand on Tommy's gently before she said "and Tommy's drinking."
"I had started seeing a psychologist again a few months ago and she told me that the more I talked through things the better it would be. So Andy & I just kept talking. And I just kept feeling better, and not just about sharing my feelings, but knowing that I wasn't the only one with trust issues. We talked about how I was afraid of going out alone, all the places and things I've missed because of it, and how lonely I feel sometimes. I've missed out on finding love because I've been too afraid to trust any man but you," she said as she looked at her brother. He tried to smile, but he couldn't get past the lump in his throat.
Sarah seemed to be having a little trouble continuing too so Andy took over for the moment. "We also talked about how I've missed out on finding 'real' love because I was too afraid of being let down or abandoned, afraid of giving someone my heart because then they would have the power to hurt me when they left. We realized then how alike we were. Although the circumstances were very different, and I can't even begin to imagine how Sarah has felt all these years, we were still at a very similar place. I think it was cathartic for both of us." By this time almost everyone at the table was touching/holding the hand of at least one other person.
After a few seconds of contemplation and quiet, Andy perked up. "We had been getting along so well, we decided I would go visit Sarah on my next day off."
As he got up to start clearing the dishes, Tommy added, "So Andy asked me to drive her out to St Catherines. I have an old friend there and she thought that I could see him while she visited with Sarah. It worked perfectly; we got up at 7am and were there by 9am so the girls had the whole day."
Sam got up to help Tommy with the dishes. He leaned against the counter, watching the girls as he dried.
Sarah was ok to go on now. "My psychologist also told me that I should try and get out more, with someone other than her – but to start off slowly. So when Andy came the first time, we started by going for a walk. Just around the block at first, but we get so lost in conversation that we circled the block probably 10 times before we even realized it. After lunch we decided to venture a little further. It was then that I asked Andy more about Luke." Sam scowled as he turned around to grab another dish. He wasn't sure he was going to like this part.
Andy thought it would be best if she explained this to Sam, so after exchanging a look with Sarah she spoke up. "I told Sarah why I chose Luke. Every other time I always went for the bad boy because I would know going in that it wasn't going to last and so there would be no disappointment. I thought I was ready to change my luck and I wanted to give the 'good guy' a chance." She met Sam's eye then. "I think you know that I was attracted you, but you reminded me so much of those 'mysterious, bad boys' and I was trying so hard to change my pattern. It really didn't take long for me to realize that my feelings for Luke weren't that deep. But I was fine with it because I knew that there was no way he could hurt me if I didn't love him. It was easy to fool myself for awhile because I was still so afraid of being let down. But I couldn't fool myself that it was enough." Sam was surprised to find that this didn't anger him; he supposed that maybe she just wasn't ready for him yet.
Andy was about to go on when Sarah spoke up. "We also talked about you, Sam, and I knew as soon as she said your name, that she wasn't just fooling herself about Luke. Every time she talked about you her face lit up and I could tell there was something there." Sam smiled as he glanced at Andy and his smile grew at the blush that had just invaded her cheeks.
"At the end of that day, we made a pact together. We decided that we needed to get over our fears and give our hearts the chance to really feel something – and that as much as it might hurt, we were only cheating ourselves by not going for it. Neither one of us had been truly happy in a long time," Sarah recalled, "and I knew that I was finally ready to get over some of my fears."
"And I knew that I was ready to break it off with Luke," Andy insisted. "I wasn't happy – I was just settling for easy. So I went home and broke up with Luke. I called Sarah that night to tell her that I did it and when she told me she was proud of me, I realized that I was proud of me too." Sarah looked up at Sam to see him mouth the words "thank you" with a dimpled grin that she returned. He was most definitely welcome.
Andy didn't see the exchange as she remembered something else. She looked at Sarah; "that's when you told me that your neighbor took you to the mall that morning. And that you even stopped for coffee on the way home that afternoon." Andy and Sarah exchanged teary-eyed smiles when Sarah added, "And you said you were proud of me too." Sam and Tommy both cleared their throats and turned back to the dishes at the same time, neither one wanting anyone to see the tears that were forming in their eyes too.
Oblivious to the boys' discomfort, Andy went on. "We continued to talk almost every night and I went to visit Sarah again on my next day off. Dad took us for ice cream that day." Tommy laughed then and added, "it was like taking a couple of kids in there. You'd have thought they were 10 years old. I lost count of how many flavors they asked to sample before they decided."
Sarah interrupted, "Sam you remember that place you always stop at to bring me a pint when you come and visit? This time I actually went in and got a cone. I haven't had a real ice cream cone in so long."
Sam snickered, "let me guess. Even after sampling everything in the case, you still ended up with mint chocolate chip." Sarah nodded in confirmation – he knew her too well.
"It was so much fun, Sam. We took our cones and walked and talked." Then Sarah looked up at Tommy and he nodded his consent to share. "Tommy and I sat down on one of the benches at the park, while Andy went down by the lake. Tommy told me about all the regrets he's had because of his drinking and his fears for how it's affected Andy." Andy was surprised by this; she remembered looking back at them that day and she knew that the conversation was heavy, but she had no idea that they were discussing her father's history. The tears were back for both of them when Andy met her father's eyes.
The solemn mood was brightened when Sarah started again. "On the way home, I got Andy talking about you again, Sam, and it was written all over her face. She had already given you her heart without even realizing it. Now I just had to get her to admit it." Sarah looked pointedly at Andy. "But she was stubborn."
Tommy laughed at that. "What?" Andy asked. "Sarah had been trying to convince me earlier, but that's when I knew you were going to be ok." He said as he clapped Sam on the back. Sam was touched.
"But it wasn't until a few calls later that Andy admitted that she was in love with you," Sarah giggled. "But once she did, we started scheming, and we spent the next week making plans for 'the seduction of Sam Swarek'." Not much could make Sam blush, but that simple statement did – he wasn't sure he appreciated his sister talking about him like this.
"But apparently, you are a tough nut to crack, as if I didn't know. You had supper together and drinks together, but you just wouldn't ask her out," Sarah lamented. "So when you came for Thanksgiving I had to take matters into my own hands. Do you remember?"
With the dishes done, Sam laughed and moved everyone to the living room to continue the conversation. "I remember. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out how you could take one look at me and know that there was something between Andy and me."
"Do you also remember the phone call I got the morning you left?" Sarah prompted.
Sam thought back. "Yeah… I was fixing the door and the phone rang. I was definitely curious when you said you had to take it because you don't generally get a lot of calls. But all you said was 'my brother's still here can I call you back?' You listened for a minute and then smiled and said goodbye."
"And what did I do next?"
Sam shook his head and chuckled, "you gave me a kiss on the cheek." He had been really confused at that point.
Sarah 's dimples were out in full force as she saw the light go on in Andy's eyes. "It was Andy on the phone and when I told her you were still here, she said to give you a kiss for her. So I walked over and kissed you on the cheek and you laughed at me and asked 'what was that for?'"
"And you said 'just because someone cares.'" He grinned and shook his head. "I thought you just meant you."
He winked at Sarah as he realized why she was so hell bent on getting him to admit his feelings and promise to ask Andy out. Then he winked at Andy, leaned over and kissed her on the cheek and said "just because I care too".
I don't claim to know anything about getting over traumatic events and how hard that might be. I just thought it would be cool if Sarah and Andy bonded over their trust issues, and if Andy was able to help Sarah. I apologize if anyone is offended thinking that I shouldn't have made it this easy; though I did add in the psychologist to imply that they didn't do it alone.