Brenda unlocked her door and walked into her living room. She left her purse and cap on the couch and headed for the washroom. She looked at herself in the mirror, taking in her flushed face and smeared lipstick. Grabbing a washcloth, she cleaned herself up and reapplied her makeup. Her mind raced, thinking about why Fritz had decided to turn up in L.A. Exactly what was he here to tell her? Why in person? He'd decided to end the marriage without at least talking anymore, so why? She shook her head, confused.
Her thoughts turned to what had happened with Flynn. What exactly was she thinking there? One minute they were saying goodbye, the next she was all over him. He wasn't exactly resisting, he'd been the one who initiated the kiss. Still, she'd very much enjoyed it, and if her phone hadn't rang it wouldn't have ended there, she knew that with certainty. She still ached for him and was confused that she did. When did he become more to her than just a good friend? Was it simply a reaction to the fact that Fritz had sent the divorce papers finally, to end their marriage?
Brenda heard Fritz walk into the living room, calling out for her. She shut off her bathroom light and walked out to meet him. It had been almost two months since they'd last seen each other. Although they talked regularly, Brenda just didn't have the heart to go to Washington anymore. She was miserable there. And he'd only been back to Los Angeles a couple of times too. No wonder she'd been drawn to Flynn, she seen him more often than the man she was married to.
"Fritz." She said it in a tone that didn't indicate warmth. No "Fritzy", no smile. Brenda just gave him that glare she was good at. She'd only wanted to talk to him, not see him. Seeing him brought an anger bubbling up in her. It's not that she didn't know their marriage was not working now, but to just send the papers, not even bother to talk to her? It hurt her more than he'd know.
Fritz looked at his wife and knew he was walking on thin ice. But she'd made her decision to end this marriage long before him, had stayed here knowing how much this opportunity meant to him. She'd checked out of this relationship long before he had.
"Look, Brenda, I came to explain myself. I'm sorry about the way it happened, I really am. I'm sorry if it hurt you so bad, but face it, we both knew it was going to happen."
"Fritz, I think I deserved better than a process server. And for them to show up at my work? Do you know how fast rumours spread around that place?"
"Well, it's not like you would have been home, Brenda, that place is your home. It's why we are where we are today!" Fritz's temper started to flare, Brenda watched him warily. She wished that she was anywhere but here.
"As you keep reminding me, over and over again, Fritz. I know, I work too much, I'm too devoted to the job."
"I didn't come here to fight Brenda. I came here to explain why I filed the papers, and I didn't think I could do that over the phone."
"So, tell me then. What made you decide seven months after to finally file?"
"When you started making excuses to not come to Washington, I knew that you were never going to come with me, to make us a family again. I've tried hard to be accommodating, I really thought we might have a shot, especially when you at least tried to visit in the beginning. But then, when you stopped coming out, I knew it wasn't going to work. I can't be the only one flying back and forth all the time. It takes compromise, and you're not willing to do it.
Brenda stared at him mutely, knowing there was some truth in his statement. However, what he said next shocked her.
"Anyway, you started missing our weekends together and I got upset. I'm in Washington, trying to reestablish myself, make new friends, anything to make me forget the wife who doesn't want to be with me. I made friends with fellow agents, including a really good friend named Melissa Evans. We spent a lot of nights at the office, just talking. But things have happened between us lately, and I've had to re-evaluate everything."
"What do you mean, "things have happened" between you? What things?" Brenda questioned him.
"You know, "things", Brenda, do I have to spell it out for you? Point being, it's made things easier with letting you go. I will always love you, Brenda, but I realize it's never going to work between us. And I think it might work with Melissa. She wants a family, kids, things you never have been interested in. And as much as I love you, it's always going to be a barrier between us. I filed because I finally realized you are never going to be any different, and neither am I. We want different things out of life, and I'm not willing to put my life on hold anymore."
Brenda stared mutely at him. He was right, of course, but it still hurt to hear these things said out loud.
Emotions swirled through her. She hated letting go of things, and Fritz had been a huge part of her life for so long now. To have it all swept away was overwhelming.
In a soft voice, Brenda said "So that's it, huh? All these years." she blinked back tears.
"I'm sorry, Brenda. I just don't see how we can work through this." Fritz approached her, bringing her in for a hug, which she accepted.
"I'm sorry, too, Fritz. I just can't believe it's really over." She clutched at him, tears starting to fall.
"People change, Brenda. I just hoped we'd always be together."
Brenda said nothing, just standing there crying in his arms. Finally, she tore herself away from him, wiping the tears off her face. "Listen, I think I'm going to head for bed, it's been a long day. You can stay in the guest room."
Fritz watched her gather her stuff off of the couch, noticing the Dodgers cap. Trying to lighten the mood, he commented on it. "You've taken up going to Dodgers games now? When did that start?"
"Oh, today was the first time I've been to one. I got coerced into wearing this idiotic hat." She gave a brief smile, not willing to elaborate on her day.
"Were you on a date? You hardly ever went to Dodgers games with me." Curiosity got the better of him.
"No! I wasn't on a date! I was out with Provenza and Flynn! They were worried about me and wanted to make sure I was okay, after the little surprise I got yesterday. We've all become quite good friends outside the office the last few months." Brenda was quite flustered. The end of the day out had been more like the end of a date than a day out with "good friends"
Fritz eyed her, wondering what was up, especially when Brenda used that tone. He let it go though, knowing he was really one to talk.
"Skybox tickets, by any chance?" He remembered all those years ago and how the dynamic duo had managed to take over a crime scene after leaving a dead body in Provenza's garage.
"No, no, just regular ones, I think. I really don't know. They were good seats, anyway. The Dodgers won." Brenda stuffed the cap into her purse and turned, retreating towards her bedroom.
"Goodnight, Brenda. And for what it's worth, I am sorry, once again."
"Me too, Fritz, me too. See you in the morning."
She closed her room door, dropping her purse into a chair and then sitting on the edge of the bed. She held her face in her hands, absorbing everything that had been said. Fritz had moved on from being with her three months ago. Not only was he seeing someone, he was sleeping with someone too. Her thoughts turned to Flynn, as she'd been almost on that step also. She got up and headed for the washroom, needing to shower. Turning on the hot water, she stepped into the stinging needles of water, willing herself to just stop thinking for a few minutes. She endured the heat for a few moments before stepping out and readying for bed. Sleep wouldn't come to her though. She tossed and turned, her mind unable to turn off. Thoughts of Fritz and Flynn plagued her. As bad as she felt about the end of her marriage, the thoughts of Flynn and what he had to offer at the moment invaded.
Brenda tried to drive thoughts of Andy away, but it was a losing battle. She needed to see him, to talk to him, to be with him. The thoughts were driving her crazy and she wasn't sure why. She got out of bed and began to pace her room. She suddenly went to the closet, grabbing one of her trench coats and putting it on over her pajamas. She'd made up her mind, she was going to finish what they'd started earlier. After all, if Fritz could move on, so could she. She grabbed her purse, fished out her car keys and quietly opened her bedroom door. She felt ridiculous having to sneak out of her own house, but here she was, doing so. She closed the door quietly, traveled through the living room and slipped out the front door.