A/N: Italics for flashbacks
Chapter 4
"I'm dying" those words hunt Kuroko Tetsuya even in his dreams.
"What about bone marrow transplant doctor?" His mother pleaded. Even since they found out about his illness, his parents treat him fragile. If he weren't sick he would feel contented and satisfied since his parents were busy people, they seldom give him attention but since he were sick, he feels frustrated and useless.
He isn't invalid and he hates to feel useless.
He already quit basketball, the only thing that kept him sane and happy from his long unhappy life. Basketball is the reason why he made reconnection with his former teammates, he made new friends with his current teammates and finally, he found his happiness along with his friends.
He was at the door when he heard his mother asked. He didn't make a move, in fear they know he was eavesdropping.
"Tetsuya-kun's bone marrow is different from yours. I already made test and I'm sorry to tell you but none of you are compatible for him."
"What do you mean not compatible? We are his parents. Damn it" his father cursed and punched at the nearby wall.
Tetsuya gave an inaudible gasp and bit his lip to stop from whimpering. He dislikes himself for being this weak.
A sighed from the doctor "Relatives has a very high chance of being compatible but it's also possible that even you as parents are not the exact match type. It could be anyone else."
"There are two main types of stem cell transplants: allogeneic and autologous. In an allogeneic transplant, the stem cells come from someone else. The donor's tissue type (also known as the HLA type) needs to match the patient's tissue type as closely as possible to help prevent the risk of major problems with the transplant. Usually this donor is a brother or sister if they have the same tissue type as the patient. If there are no siblings with a good match, the cells may come from an HLA-matched, unrelated donor – a stranger who has volunteered to donate their cells.
The stem cells for an allogeneic SCT are usually collected from a donor's bone marrow or peripheral (circulating) blood on several occasions. In some cases, the source of the stem cells may be blood collected from an umbilical cord attached to the placenta after a baby is born (which is rich in stem cells). Regardless of the source, the stem cells are then frozen and stored until they are needed for the transplant.
An allogeneic stem cell transplant may be more effective than an autologous transplant because of the "graft versus leukemia" effect. When the donor immune cells are infused into the body, they may recognize any remaining leukemia cells as being foreign to them and will attack them. This effect doesn't happen with autologous stem cell transplants.
However, in an autologous transplant, a patient's own stem cells are removed from his or her bone marrow or peripheral blood. A process called purging may be done in the lab to try to remove leukemia cells in the samples. The stem cells are then frozen and stored while the person gets treatment (high-dose chemotherapy and/or radiation). The patient then receives the stem cells after treatment.
Autologous transplants are sometimes used for people with ALL who are in remission after initial treatment. Some doctors feel that it is better than standard consolidation chemotherapy but not all doctors agree with this.
One problem with autologous transplants is that it is hard to separate normal stem cells from leukemia cells in the bone marrow or blood samples. Even after purging, there is the risk of returning some leukemia cells with the stem cell transplant."
The mother sobs became harder "Please. Please Doctor. Save our baby. My baby"
Tetsuya's father wraps his arms around his wife.
"We will do our best and we already put Tesuya-kun's name on the priority list on every willing donor that is compatible to him. Does anyone one of you have relatives that may be compatible with him?"
His parents regretfully shake their heads and explain something on the doctor.
The small teen cannot take anymore and he doesn't remember how he got back on his room until he broke down. Silent sobs wretched from him; it is the first time he cried this much.
"I wonder how they are doing?" he muttered while gazing at the pictures on his laptop.
Pictures on his middle school and high school, familiar happy faces greeted him. Happy memories, memorable memories and treasured memories were on this laptop.
He never can go back to the time where he thinks about tomorrow and his future with his friends. The time when he was having fun and wish that tomorrow will be the same.
Now, he fears for tomorrow, he fears that tomorrow he will never wake up, he fears to see again the rejected faces of his parents.
They used to be happy every time his parents came home from work.
Today and from now on, this huge room is now his new room and this hospital is now his new home.
"Son?" his father looks at him worriedly when he sees the tears that were flowing down from his eyes.
"I'm fine father" a pause "Can I go to the park?"
"But son-"
"Dad. I've been here for days, please let me walk into park or something. Just let me go outside for awhile and I need to be alone. This place is suffocating me"
"Very well" a forced smile smeared on his father's handsome face that makes him look older than his age.
"I will tell the doctor and phone your mother about your decision"
Tetsuya just sighed.
"Riko" Kiyoshi Teppei the founder of Seirin basketball club approached their coach.
"What is the main reason why Kuroko quit?"
"I told you-"
"I don't believe you. Kuroko is not that kind of person"
Aida just sighed and "I know. There is something going on Teppei and I fear we are not going to like it"
It's a windy day today.
'I hope Kuroko-kun will be fine and safe. I hope he isn't lying. I hope he is happy' the crownless general sighed. He really misses that boy.
He's so busy gazing at the fountain in front of him.
He's expression is unreadable but there is something on his eyes that will tell that he was in great pain.
"Humans are really selfish; they will try their hardest to get something that is unreachable. They wished upon something that impossibly be given. We, humans have own limitation and should accept it." He quote the book he once read and he can't even remember the title of the book or its author but those words will forever engrave in his mind and soul.
"I guess I'm one of those humans have reached their limitation" He sighed while continue to stare the fountain "I think it is better if I just disappear"
He didn't notice his surrounding; he was so lost on his thoughts until someone tackled him into the ground. Strong arms enveloped him into a hard chest. Familiar scents engulf his nostrils. The scent is like daisy and honey.
"Kise-kun?"
"Kuroko-cchi" the arms around him tighten. Never leaving him until someone pulls him for another and crushing embraced.
Another scent hits him; it's the scent that reminds him of ocean and powder.
"Aomine-kun?"
"Tetsu, you bastard" the tan teen inhaled deeply at the fresh scents of Tetsu, his partner smells vanilla and fresh strawberries but there's also mixed with a smell of medicines. Aomine frowned a bit but proceed to pull Kuroko harder into his chest like he wants to put his former shadow there and never release him again.
Another arms pulled Kuroko out of Aomine's crushing grasps.
"Kuroko you idiot" this time the bluenette was inhaling the summer scent of Kagami.
"Kagami-kun"
Then he was passed again to a pair arms "Kuro-chin" the smell of sweets filled with his senses "Murasakibara-kun" but it did not last long since another pair of arms pulls him "Kuroko" this time the smells l of nature hits him "Midorima-kun"
"Tetsu-kun" this time the arms enveloped him were soft and smells like cherry blossoms.
"Momoi-san"
And he was again pushed by a strong arms "Tetsuya, never leave us again" this scent smells like fresh air and tea.
It was too much; Kuroko can't help but broke down in front of the people who loved him for who he was.
"Tell us, Tetsuya. Why did you leave?"
The small bluenette stiffen at the question, he bit his lips from blurting of something he definitely regret. His eyes are still puffy because of the breakdown. He still can't believe that he did that in front of the people he wish won't see his ugly side. They already know that he is weak and now, he feared that they will treat him as his parents treat him.
Fragile and broken.
He hated that.
"It's none of your business Akashi-kun" the cold answer shocks them all. It's so rare to see and hear the phantom player spoke that way especially to his former captain. "And how do you find me?"
"I saw you Tetsu-kun. You've been staring that fountain for the past two hours. You look so sad and I texted the others to come here. We really miss you Tetsu-kun" Momoi said, ignoring the tears were flowing from her eyes. It hurts her to see her beloved Tetsuya like this. She was so used for seeing the usual blank gaze of the bluenette but the way he look like a while ago it sent her deadly shiver through her bones. It's a feeling that Tetsu-kun is slowing fading and withering.
While the others frown at what the pink haired girl said, Akashi's eyebrow twitched at the response. Tetsuya is the only person who had the guts to defy him and get away without dying or facing the consequences.
"We are worried about you Kuroko" an anxious Midorima said, grasping his lucky item for the day. It is a cute elephant stuff toy.
"Basketball is not fun without you Kuro-chin" the tallest pouted.
"You can play without me" the bluenette whispered the others strained their ears just to hear those words. "You've done that before and I know you can do it again"
All of them except Kagami stiffen at those blunt words. Those words hurt and it was true but those actions were on the past and now, they are so sure that they can't live without the bluenette. The small teen found a special place on their hearts and they never plan to leave Tetsuya again.
They have to bound him with them if they have to.
"No! That's not true because of Kurokocchi we came to understand what you want for us to learn" Kise protested. 'Why does Kurokocchi says that? He isn't like that. He loves basketball'
As if knowing what they are thinking, Kuroko just sighed and said in hushed voice that feels like air "I don't love basketball anymore"
Lies
"I came to hate basketball all over again"
Lies
"I don't want to see your faces"
LIES
The seven teens looks stricken, it looks like their heart and souls were being crushed into pieces.
"Kuroko what are you saying?" Kagami shouted while he clenched his fist till it bleeds and he barely felt it. 'This Kuroko wasn't his Kuroko, his shadow, his best friend and his beloved. The Kuroko he knows is a person who loves basketball despite his lack of power and stamina. Why the sudden change?'
"Tetsu don't joke with me" Aomine growled and clasps the bony shoulders of his former shadow and give a little shake.
"Lies" Akashi just muttered enough to be heard them all.
"I'm not "Kuroko stares at them with eyes that was full of misery and hollowness.
"Your words are full of lies and it disgust me that you even think that you fool me for that pity lies" the red head patience are wearing thin.
Kuroko narrowed his eyes and pushed away the hands of Aomine off his shoulders.
"I'm leaving" and after that he walked away.
He only makes it two steps before a crushing grip held and hard slap cross upon his cheeks. A bruising grip his chin and met a pair of heterochromia eyes.
"Tetsuya, out of all people you are the only one who knew that I despise lies greatly"
The bluenette flinched at those words and the hit. Akashi is the last person he wants to be angry. The red head was a real demon when he was angry.
"I'm not-"he was cut off whatever he saying. He was coughing so hard that he almost feels his lungs were gonna rip out. The bruising grip vanished and it replaced by a gentle embraced that was holding him.
The coughing still continues and he vaguely hears his name being called repeatedly. He covers his mouth instantly, he felt a wet substance came into his mouth and when he looks at his mouth, everything in him freezes. His hands were covered in blood. His blood.
Dying
I'm Dying
Those words hunt him whether he was awake or asleep.
He was afraid.
He was afraid of dying and never be able to play the sport he dearly loves.
His vision starts to swim and he feels numb. He doesn't even realize that he was being carried by strong arms and rest his head at the strong chest.
He really wished that this is all a dream.
His illness is just a dream so that he can go back to the time where he is happy but at this moment all he can do is sleep.
Tbc…
A/N: OOC for Kuroko's part but I always thought stress and depression makes a person act differently as their usual.
And as I promise here is the next chapter of 'This Body'.
Thank you so much for the warm reviews and such. I got 119 reviews for the chapter 3 only and I like to apologize for the long delay. Hope the wait is worth it... I really hope since I feel like this chapter is not worth it. *sobs*
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