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Rated M for language, sexuality, graphic violence.

"Where the pools are bright and deep, Where the grey trout lies asleep, Up the river and over the lea, That's the way for Billy and me."

- James Hogg, "A Boy's Song," l. 1-4

Chapter 2 – Bright and Deep

EPOV

My alarm went off while I was in the middle of an erotic dream. I was too disoriented to remember much, just fleeting images of soft lips pressing against my neck, wet tongue tasting my skin, firm hands stroking my thighs, hard muscle leaning into my body. I reached over and flung my hand out to turn off the annoying buzzing, groaning as I did so. I wished for nothing more than to roll right back over and sink into delicious sleep, returning to my phantom lover's arms; we had unfinished business. My cock twitched in anticipation. Ugh. Why was I awake so early today anyway?

"Edward, are you up, dear?" I heard my Mom call from the hall. "I made you breakfast this morning."

Of course. Our first day of school tradition. Mom had been making me breakfast on the first day of each school year for as long as I could remember. Even though I was Junior in High School now and perfectly capable of getting myself fed and out the door, she still insisted on staying home today to see me off.

"I'm up," I called out. "I'll be down in fifteen minutes."

Well, I was up. Nothing like hearing your Mom right outside your bedroom door to kill a boner.

I made my way to the bathroom and took a quick shower, adjusting the temperature a little cooler than normal, to both wake me up and to rid myself of my morning wood. I toweled myself off then pulled out a T-shirt and some jeans from my dresser. I finished off my outfit with a flannel shirt and some tennis shoes then headed down the stairs to the kitchen.

Mom was seated on a stool at our center island sipping coffee and reading the paper. She looked up and smiled when she saw me. I leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Good morning, beautiful," I said.

"Good morning, my darling boy," she answered. "Let me get you your breakfast." She walked around to the oven, pulling out a plate of waffles that had been warming. Butter, a small bowl of blueberries, some fresh whipped cream and a glass of orange juice were already on the granite countertop. She went to the sink and fetched a bottle of maple syrup that was resting in a bowl of warm water.

"Mmmm. Looks delicious Mom," I said as I poured myself a cup of coffee. "Thank you. But you know you didn't have to do this. I am capable of making my own breakfast, you know."

"Of course I did, honey! You're my baby. I can't send you off on your first day of school without some breakfast in your tummy." She then frowned, looking at my coffee. "I wish you wouldn't drink so much of that. You'll stunt your growth."

I rolled my eyes and made a scoffing sound, looking down at her concerned face. She smiled then, acknowledging the silliness of her remark. I was already over six feet tall, somewhat lean, but I had a nice build. She reached over trying to smooth down my hair as I dove into the delicious meal. "Don't forget to brush your hair before you leave. It's sticking up everywhere." I just nodded in response, knowing it wouldn't make a bit of difference. Although the color was similar to my Mother's, hers was always beautifully styled while mine was completely unmanageable. I usually just toweled it off and let it do what it wanted.

I finished up the last few bites of my breakfast then carried my plate to the sink. "Thanks again, Mom. That was really delicious."

"You're welcome, honey. Just leave those. I'll finish cleaning up. You better get going; you don't want to be late on your first day of school."

I walked around to hug her goodbye and noticed her green eyes were bright with tears. This, also, was tradition. As I wrapped my arms around her shoulders she began to speak the familiar words. "I can't believe how big you've gotten. You're so grown up now and so handsome. My little baby boy is actually a Junior in high school. How in the world did that happen? It seems like only yesterday I was dropping you off at your first day of Kindergarten."

"I'll always be your little boy, Mom," I whispered, giving her a gentle squeeze. God, we were such a cliché. She hugged me back tightly. "I know, sweetie. Your Dad and I are so proud of you." She held me close for another moment then pulled back to look me in the eyes. "Do you want me to drive you to school, honey?" she asked.

I released her and backed away in horror. "Uh, no. That's ok." I stuttered. The corner of her mouth tilted up in a crooked smirk and I saw the mischievous twinkle in her eye. I shook my head and gave a little laugh. "Bye, Mom," I said pointedly, heading for the door. I heard her laughing as I left, the mood effectively back to normal.

As I got into my car heading to Forks high school I thought about how I had never been happier for summer to be over. The trip to Europe with my parents was fantastic. I know I was lucky to have the opportunity to travel with my family every summer, but it sometimes got a little lonely. I had missed my friends and I was excited to see them again.

Or more accurately, excited to see him again.

I pulled into the parking lot and looked around at the students already gathered, searching the faces for one in particular.

"Edward!" a voice cried out from across the lot.

I gave a small wave in acknowledgment and made my way over to where my friends were standing.

"Mike. Tyler. Ben," I said in greeting, clapping Mike on the shoulder and nodding to the others. "How's it going?"

"Great," Mike answered. "We missed you this summer! It sucks that we hardly got to hang out at all, and now it's over. Oh well, if we have to be stuck back at this hellhole, at least we're getting some new scenery this year."

"Oh yeah. The Chief's daughter," said Tyler. "I hear she's hot."

"The Chief's daughter? Chief Swan?" I asked. I had obviously missed out on some of the local gossip while vacationing overseas.

"Dibs!" cried Mike quickly.

"Screw you, dickhead," said Tyler. "She's fair game. Like you have a chance against my good looks and charm."

"You wish, second string." Mike retorted. "You know the chicks love me."

And they did. Mike had that all American look about him. Blond hair, blue eyes. Athletic, attractive. Nice smile, friendly. Funny and smart.

"You're both idiots," Ben chimed in, rolling his eyes. "C'mon Edward," he said, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards the school. "I want to hear about Europe."

"Catch you later," I called over my shoulder to a laughing Mike who now had Tyler in and headlock and was digging his knuckles into the top of his head, following Ben into the building.

As I began to answer Ben's string of questions about the places I had visited, my mind was spinning with one thought: he said he had missed me.

#####

It was lunch time before I saw Mike again. He was already sitting down with Jessica and Lauren and Tyler. I grabbed a slice of pizza and a drink and joined them at the table.

"Hey, world traveler," Jessica greeted me.

"Hey, Jess. How was your summer?" I asked.

"Not as good as yours. Forks isn't exactly Paris or Milan."

I nodded my head and uttered a few "Mmms" periodically, feigning interest as she chattered away about her summer. Jessica was a nice girl, but she could be a little annoying. She talked a lot. A lot. She used to have a huge crush on me, but after zero, and I mean absolutely zero, reciprocation from me for what sometimes seemed like forever, she finally gave up. I was relieved because it had been very uncomfortable to be around her for a while. It was so much easier to be friends when I wasn't constantly trying to avoid her, or deflect her efforts to go out with me.

I think she was crushing on Mike now. Who could blame her?

I was surreptitiously studying Mike as he joked with Tyler. His shoulders looked broader than I remembered. He must have been working out. He looked really good. His hair was lighter that it had been in June. I wondered if he went anywhere over the summer or if Forks had been visited by good weather for once. His eyes were still that bright laughing blue. They practically twinkled they were so sunny. I watched his lips curl up as he laughed at something Tyler said. He had such nice straight white teeth. I loved the way the corner of his eyes crinkled when he smiled. So cute. And those lips; they looked so soft. I wondered what they would feel like touching my skin. What would they feel like against my lips?

"Bella!" Jessica yelled, almost right in my ear. I was abruptly jerked away from my pleasant musings.

I scowled as I looked to where she was waving frantically. A girl I didn't recognize was standing with Alice Cullen and Angela Weber. She was slim, but curvy with long brown hair and big brown eyes. I guess you would say she was pretty. The girl, whom I assume was Bella, looked over at our table as Jessica drew her attention and her eyes locked on mine. We stared at each other for a minute until she dropped her gaze, a flush slowing forming across her face. I realized I was still glaring, pissed that my fantasies about Mike's lips on mine had been so rudely interrupted.

I quickly rearranged my face into a neutral expression as they approached our table. Angela reached over to ruffle my hair before taking the seat next to Jessica. "Hey you," she said.

"Hey yourself," I replied back with a grin, ducking my head and batting her hand away. The Bella girl sat next to Angela, with Alice on her other side. Ben arrived and sat across from them. Alice's brother and sister joined him. I looked over to see Rosalie glowering in my direction.

"Masen," she sneered in disgust.

"Rose," I replied with an equal measure of hostility, contempt dripping from my tongue. It always amazed me that such a complete knock out could be such a raging bitch. Rose was gorgeous. Long blonde hair, endless legs, stunning face, perfect skin. And stacked. She looked like a freakin' supermodel. For whatever reason, she hated my guts. The feeling was mutual. I couldn't stand her. She was shallow and self-centered. And did I mention a total bitch? If I hadn't been friends with Emmett and Alice, I would have told her to fuck off a long time ago.

By now, Mike and Tyler had noticed Bella. I watched with familiar recognition as Mike prepared to make his move. He left his tray on the table and got up to walk around to where the girls sat. He pulled out an empty chair from the table behind them and sat on it backwards, his legs on either side of the seat and his arms crossed over the back. He rested his chin on them and cocked his eyebrow. That was sexy.

"Who's your friend, Angela?" he asked.

"Hey, Mike. This is Bella. Bella, Mike," she explained, motioning to each of them in turn.

Mike pulled out his most dazzling smile and extended his hand to her. "It's nice to meet you, Bella. That's a pretty name."

She took his hand and shook it. "Thank you. It's nice to meet you too," she said in a soft voice. I liked her voice. It was soothing. I detected the slightest hint of an eye roll as she retrieved her hand from Mike's and turned back around to her lunch. Interesting.

Mike sat up in surprise, with a slight look of shock on his face. He wasn't used to being dismissed so summarily. He barely paused before a broad grin broke out on his face. Whether she was issuing a challenge or not, he was definitely accepting it. I could tell he liked her.

He scooted closer to her and tried to engage her in conversation again, asking her how she liked Forks, where she had moved from, how was her Dad. She was polite, but somewhat reserved, answering in monosyllables when possible and saying as little as she could without being rude. I was intrigued. She was very hard to read. What kind of girl wouldn't be interested in Mike Newton? He was the total package.

Well, at least I thought so.

Mike and I had been friends for years. Our parents were friends, so we were thrown together a lot when we were kids and we were both in little league together. Our shared love of baseball had continued, and we now both played on the high school team. Although I was a little more serious about my studies than he was, we were also both in several advanced classes together. He was good natured and easy to get along with. He made friends effortlessly and I was happy to be counted as one of his closest ones.

I had been in love with him for years, even though I knew it was hopeless. Mike had no idea I was gay, and I intended to keep it that way. Forks was a small town with small town attitudes and although I had never seen anything from Mike that made me think he was homophobic, his father was the owner of the local sporting goods store and somewhat of a good ole boy. I had a feeling it wouldn't go over too well in the Newton household if his Dad found out his son's best friend was a queer. I just knew things would be weird between Mike and me if he knew I was gay, and I didn't want to risk any changes to our friendship. In two more years we would both be off to college; that was soon enough for the inevitable.

In my mind I knew I would be out at college, especially if I was in a larger city, which I fully intended to be. I wouldn't be the only gay man in my class as I was here. While I was in Forks, though, I kept my sexuality under wraps. It's not that I was ashamed or embarrassed or conflicted. I was simply realistic with a healthy dose of self preservation. I wasn't one to be a champion for a cause; I just wanted to have fun with my friends, do well in school, get into a good college and live my life.

I'm pretty sure my parents knew I was gay. We hadn't talked about it, but my Mom never bugged me about girls and was always very conspicuously gender neutral when she referred to any theoretical future partner I may one day have. I knew I could talk to them about it if I wanted, but I was teenage boy and the last thing I wanted to discuss with my parents was my sex life. Or lack thereof.

For the most part, I was comfortable with my sexuality and relatively issue free, at least as much as a 17 year old virgin who was closeted from his friends and family can be. I'm sure my parents' close friendship with my Godfather Daniel was in large part responsible. He and my Mother had been best friends in college and were still very close. Daniel and his partner Alan visited us whenever they were in the area and we had vacationed with them numerous times. I really looked up to him and he provided a great example of what my life could one day be. They were in the midst of trying to adopt a baby right now; otherwise, they probably would have joined us in Europe for at least part of our trip.

That's not to say I was always this comfortable. I still went through the typical angst of discovering I was different. I heard loud and clear the negative messages from society. I knew when the kids at school threw out comments like, "that's so gay," they were not bestowing compliments. I knew that there were plenty of people who considered me to be an abomination and would never accept me and some who might even want to hurt me. I had had to do my share of working through.

I remembered the first time I thought of Mike sexually and how both turned on and freaked out I was. We were fifteen and down at First Beach, enjoying a rare sunny afternoon. A group of us had met to hang out for the day. It must have been over 80 degrees outside. Mike and I were tossing a Frisbee in the sand, wearing only our swim trunks. He'd occasionally dive for a catch and I watched his lean muscular form, noticing he was no longer the skinny kid I had known all my life.

He stood up laughing, after one particular awesome catch, leaning over to brush the sand off his knees and calves. I noticed the curve of his ass, how tight and firm it looked under his shorts as he bent at the waist. I watched his hands as they brushed across his legs. I could almost feel the sensation of the rough sand against his hair and skin underneath my own fingertips. It was as if he moved in slow motion and I was trapped in a vortex, unable to look away, everything else fading except for the beautiful boy before me, sun kissed and heat slick. I watched the sunlight glinting off the sheen of perspiration on his shoulders and back and I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around him and press into his hard body from behind and lick the sweat right off his skin.

I was so aroused and had developed such a painful erection that I ran straight for the water taking a running dive into the surf before anyone could notice my predicament. Of course Mike followed right after, tackling me from behind when I stood up, pushing me back under. We roughhoused a while, dunking each other over and over, kicking the legs out from one another, laughing and playing in the sun until we staggered to our blanket and collapsed on our backs side by side. I had never been happier in my entire life; I had never been more terrified in my entire life.

We turned our heads to face one another. He was smiling at me and I could feel a big huge answering grin on my face.

"Shit, Edward, you're getting burnt to a crisp," he said.

I tucked my chin into my chest to look at my shoulders and reached out a finger to poke into my skin. When I removed it, the circle of pale flesh immediately turned a bright pink."

"Fuck," I groaned. "Angela," I yelled to the group of girls not far away. "Do you have any sunscreen?

She looked up from her book and leaned over to reach in her bag. She grabbed the bottle of sunscreen and lobbed it in our direction. It barely made it half way to us. "Thanks!" I yelled, moving to go fetch it.

But Mike was quicker. He jumped up saying, "I got it," and jogged over to retrieve the bottle from the sand. When he came back, he knelt behind me and I heard him squirting the sunscreen into his hands.

"Let me get your back. You're going to be sore as hell tomorrow." Then his hands were on me, rubbing the cream into my skin with strong slow strokes, across my shoulders, the back of my neck, down my back. It felt incredible. I closed my eyes, losing myself in the sensation of his strong hands on my body. I was simultaneously in heaven and in hell.

Then he handed the bottle to me and asked me to do his back. My hands were practically shaking. I squeezed some sunscreen into my palms then rubbed it over my face and chest first, stalling to take a minute to try and calm myself down. Mike didn't seem to notice how nervous I was, thank goodness. His back was to me.

And then I was touching him, his shoulders broad and strong under my fingers. His skin smooth and soft against my hands. His hair was cut short and I stared at the indentation at the base of his skull. I wanted to kiss it. The soft blonde hair on the back of his neck shined in the sun against his lightly tanned skin, little rainbows of color across the tiny shafts. I pressed my thumbs up his spine, my fingers on his neck, grazing the edges of his hairline. It was so soft, the gel he usually wore to arrange his spiky hair style having been washed out in the ocean.

I wanted to run my hands from his shoulders down his biceps, past his elbow, across his forearms and wrists to entwine my fingers around his. I wanted to wrap my arms around his sides and slide them across his stomach and up his chest and press my face against his back and run my tongue along his skin. I wanted to kneel at his feet and stroke my hands up his legs and feel the rough hair of his calves against my palms, just as I had imaged earlier.

But most of all, I wanted to get through putting sunscreen on Mike's back without him discovering that I was once again rock hard inside my shorts.

That evening I lay in bed with a mild case of sun poisoning. I had chills and a fever and my Mom had me drink a big glass of water and take some ibuprofen before making me go lie down. I replayed the scene from this afternoon over and over in my head, remembering the feel of his skin under my hands and getting hard immediately at the thought. My mind was spinning with what this would mean for our friendship. Would I be able to be around Mike without giving myself away? Could I tell him how I was feeling and maybe find out if he felt the same way?

I groaned at myself in frustration, knowing it was the worst kind of wishful thinking. God, what a disaster that would be. I couldn't believe I had actually considered it seriously for even a second.

And then I knew that I absolutely couldn't tell him, ever. He was my best friend and I never wanted to lose that. I was convinced that if he knew I was attracted to him that way, he wouldn't want anything to do with me ever again. As long as he didn't know, I could spend as much time with him as we always had. I could be near him. One day I'd be able to tell him I was gay, but I would never, ever let him know that I desired him.

It was one of the worst and one of the best days of my life. I knew deep in my gut that Mike would never see me like that. He was as straight as straight can be. If I thought too hard about it, my emotions veered towards despair. But I also now knew what his body felt like. I had touched him, rubbed my hands over his skin. And although it caused an ache deep in the pit of my stomach, each time I remembered it, I smiled like a fool.

My skin blistered from the sun and eventually started to peel. It was itchy and beginning to slough off. I'd pull little strips of skin from my nose and my shoulders, unable to keep myself from picking at the scaly patches. When I rolled the bits of dead skin between my fingers, I was filled with happiness.

That day was the first, but most certainly not the last, time I fantasized about Mike while I masturbated. At night in bed, or sometimes in the shower, I'd slide my hands over my erection imagining that once Mike had finished rubbing sunscreen on my back and shoulders, he'd have slid his hands around my hips to my abdomen and then down under my shorts. I'd imagine his chest pressed against my back and his hot breath in my ear and his hand, slick with SPF 40 stroking my cock, firm and sure. My imagination rarely got further than that before I would orgasm, ejaculating forcefully all over my belly.

I was finished with lunch and all too ready to be done watching Mike flirt with Bella, so I said a quick, "see you in a few" and headed to Biology class. I wanted to get there a little early today. The seating would determine lab partners for the year and Mike would be in this class with me. I wanted to stake my claim on a lab table and keep anyone else from sitting there; Mike was going to be sharing it with me.

I chose a table about two thirds of the way back on the right and put my backpack in the seat closest to the window, leaving the isle seat open. I walked over to Erik who was sitting at the table in front of me to say hi and kill some time while waiting for the rest of the gang to show up. Erik was kind of a geeky kid with greasy black hair and unfortunate acne, but he was a nice and we had always gotten along. He was on the yearbook staff and was showing off his new camera to me when I saw Jessica and Mike enter the room.

I motioned them towards me saying, "Hey, over here."

Most of the other students had also arrived by this time. The lab table next to me had been taken, so Jessica slid into the one across from Erik. Mike had stopped to briefly chat with someone at the front of the room.

As I waited anxiously, I saw Bella Swan walking down the isle towards me. I assumed she was heading for Jessica's table, since I knew she hadn't met very many people at the school yet. Suddenly, she stumbled and came hurtling towards me. I reached out instinctively to grab her, and I caught her under her shoulders as she slammed face forward into my chest. Her slim body was soft and warm against me. She smelled wonderful, all feminine and sweet, like flowers and springtime. The books and papers she had been carrying flew everywhere.

I held her steady looking down at a curtain of dark hair until she found her footing. She pulled away from me and mumbled, "I'm so sorry" in a strangled whisper. She wouldn't look me in the eye, but I could see the dark blush covering her entire face. She quickly knelt down to gather her scattered belongings.

I could tell she was embarrassed, so I didn't say anything, not wanting to make things worse for her. I just knelt down next to her to help her. I stood up holding a small stack of books and waited for her to finish organizing the papers she had retrieved.

As I stood there, Mr. Banner walked into the room and spoke out, "Ok, everyone. Grab a seat. Let's get this started." He paused then looked up and saw several of us still standing. "Now, please," he added.

Mike looked over and saw me standing inches from Bella, face to face as her hands reached for the stack of books I was holding. He raised his eyebrow, giving me a questioning look as he let Jessica tug his arm and pull him into the seat next to her.

I could feel the tugging on the books in my hands, but my mind was temporarily frozen as I realized all my careful planning was ruined. Ruined by Bella Swan and her unbelievably poor timing and her clumsy uncoordinated feet. She was saying something to me, but I wasn't listening. I was too busy being pissed off about not getting to sit next to Mike all year long, not getting to be paired up with him for labs, not getting partnered up with him on take home projects.

Impatiently, I looked down at her face and snapped, "What?"

Her big brown eyes grew wide in surprise then I saw the flicker of hurt cross her face before she schooled her features into an impassive expression. "I said, thank you," she repeated in a voice that no longer sounded thankful at all, and gave a hard jerk to the books I was holding

I gave a curt nod as I released the books, turned and walked to my seat. I tossed the backpack on the floor then flung myself into it my chair, leaning back with my legs spread and my arms folded across my chest.

Bella stood there in the middle of the room, her flush growing deeper as she looked around for an empty seat. The only available one was, of course, next to me. I saw her hesitate then take a deep breath before sitting down next to my unwelcoming form. She refused to even look in my direction and stared forward the entire class. Her hair shielded her face from my eyes.

Which was fine with me because I sat there stewing the entire hour, resentment and anger on my face. I didn't really care that I hurt her feelings. I didn't care what she thought of me right now. I was too busy blaming Bella Swan for ruining my entire junior year.

AN: Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited or put this story on alerts! You make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! Special thanks to OnTheTurningAway for her awesome beta skills and for also getting me hooked on Queer As Folk. Even if I'm getting absolutely nothing else done. :)