Brenda spent the rest of the day being perfunctory, just wanting to get through the day without causing any more drama with Provenza. She'd been taken aback by what he said, stunned that he thought she would hurt Flynn in some way. She tried to examine how she felt about Flynn and the situation they were in. It hadn't even been a week since their relationship had changed, physically, but she realized she'd been coming to depend on him for months. In the early days, right after Fritz had left, he'd been the one who'd offered to be there if she'd wanted to talk. He'd slowly slipped into her life in a way she had never, ever thought he would.
Brenda also reflected on what Provenza had said, that Flynn had been the one to betray her to the press and cause her so much grief her first few months here. She'd always suspected Taylor or him, but to have it confirmed that it was Flynn hurt. Could she ever really let herself be emotionally involved with someone who would use information against her? What if they fought and broke up? Would he destroy her by going to Internal Affairs, outing her for their affair? She really did think he'd changed though. He wasn't the same man as seven years ago. She'd changed, he'd changed. She had to believe that he would never hurt her.
She got back to working on the case, trying to ignore the worried looks that Flynn kept giving her through her window. She could tell that he wanted to know what Provenza had come in about, but she couldn't tell him that she now knew about that long ago betrayal. She kept her head down, concentrating on the casefile in front of her. She could not allow confusion over her feelings for him to interfere with this investigation. So, Brenda did what she did best, she threw herself into the work.
Flynn, on the other hand, could not concentrate. Brenda was ignoring him, Provenza kept looking at him, a questioning look on his face and he wanted to do nothing more than go in and find out what was going on. The day seemed to go on interminably, and he just wanted to get Brenda alone and find out where they stood. Thanks to Provenza, he had a feeling that something was wrong between the two of them. He chewed on his toothpick, trying to work but failing miserably. He watched as Brenda decided to revisit the crime scene, choosing Gabriel to accompany her. He felt abandoned and he didn't know why. Watching her walk out the door with Gabriel, Flynn felt fear float through him, afraid he'd never see her again. He tried to reason to himself that it was illogical, that of course he would see her again, but he felt as if he'd lost control of everything. Nothing was the same, even though just that morning, she'd been in his lap, kissing him.
Flynn finally escaped the office, as soon as he could. Brenda hadn't returned yet, and he had to get away from Provenza. He managed to escape, fleeing, actually. He drove around, aimless, and eventually found himself at Brenda's door. Her car wasn't there yet, so he pulled a page out of her book, sitting on her front steps, waiting for her to come home. She finally arrived about a half hour after he'd been sitting there.
Brenda was taken aback by Andy sitting on her steps, a replay of her doing the exact same thing last night. She panicked slightly. She'd been avoiding him since Provenza had come into her office, stating that she'd end up hurting him. And then she realized, she probably was hurting him, just by avoiding him. She grabbed her purse and got out of her car, trying to act more confident than she felt.
"What are you doing here? Aren't we all suppose to meet everyone after work tonight?"
"Well, I don't really know. I don't know anything anymore. All I really do know is, I had a girlfriend before I went to work this morning, and now, I don't even know if I have that." Anger crept into his voice. He really had no idea where he stood with her.
"Let's not talk about this out here. I do have neighbours, and I really don't want to be a topic of conversation." Brenda got out her house key, making a move to open the door.
"Well, of course not, it would be a sin if anyone found out about us, now wouldn't it?" Andy sneered.
"That's not fair, and you know it, Lt. Flynn! We agreed that no one was to know, you agreed to that!" Brenda whirled on him, once they were in the door.
"I know I did. Which would be fine, if I could even tell where I stand with you. One minute, you are all over me, the next, it's like a bucket of water has been thrown on me. You change faster than I can, I can't keep up. What do you want, Brenda? Cause I don't know. You haven't talked to me all day, since Provenza went to talk to you. What did he say?" Andy was upset, he knew it had to do with whatever had been said in that office.
Brenda hesitated. Provenza and Flynn were good friends. If she told Andy, she didn't know if he would take it well. But she also didn't want to fight with him, she needed to figure things out.
"He says I'm going to end up hurting you. That you're behaving the way I want you to right now, and when you don't, I'll leave you. That you'll end up hurt because I walk away." Brenda put her bag on the couch, shrugging out of her trench coat. She felt drained and defeated. This was not suppose to be this hard.
"Since when is he the expert on relationships? Does he even know we're in a relationship, or is he just guessing? The only way you're hurting me right now is by walking away and not talking to me. Just talk to me, Brenda!" Andy said, his voice raised.
"Andy, I don't know what it is you want from me. I'm not good at this, this relationship thing. He doesn't know about us, he's just guessing. Good God, I drove my husband away from me by not doing what he wanted. Why did I ever think this would work with you!" Brenda was exasperated.
"Maybe because I understand you better than anyone else, including your goddamn ex-husband. I'm not trying to change you, I just don't want to be shut out. Because I don't know about how you feel, but everything this last few months, I just need to be with you so much. It's not what I ever wanted. Do you think I wanted to fall for you?"
"I know you didn't want to fall for me! I know you tried so hard to get rid of me when I first got here! I just never thought you were the one to leak to the papers about my ethics review back in Atlanta. So, if we don't work out, are you going to leak it again, saying a leopard can't change her spots?" Brenda spat out.
"I may have done that a long time ago. I already apologized for the way I behaved back then. But I'm also not the one who showed up at my door, in the middle of the night, in nothing but a trench coat. So, if I mean nothing to you, was I just a convenient lay? Or would any of your Lieutenants have done? Maybe Sgt. Gabriel, cause he's always been your favourite?. Or did you just choose me cause you knew you could have me and wouldn't have to try very hard?"
Brenda slapped Andy across his face, before she realized what she was doing. Andy looked at her, taking a step back, giving that half smirk and shaking his head before turning around and walking out. Brenda stood there, shocked by what she'd done, and then was flooded by emotions. She'd never meant to go that far, she felt worse than when she'd broken up with Fritz. She raced to the door, hoping that she could get to him before he drove away. Flinging it open, she almost ran straight into Andy's arms.
The two of them blurted out "I'm sorry's" Brenda starting to cry as he kissed her on the lips. She touched his cheek, which was red from her slap. "I'm so sorry, I'm sorry." Brenda sobbed.
"I shouldn't have said that about us. I know I wasn't a convenience. I know there is something more between us." He held a now sobbing Brenda in his arms.
Brenda turned her face up, kissing him several times on the lips, whispering "I'm sorry's" all the while. He clung to her, feeling like everything could have up and disappeared on them. He felt like a heel for having said that she would have slept with anyone.
"Our first fight, huh?" he said gently.
"Probably not our last." Brenda mumbled.
"Nope, probably not." Andy agreed.
They turned and went back into her apartment, her clutching on to him. What Provenza had said had really gotten under her skin, and it was like she had tried to make it a self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead, she clung on to what she had. She didn't want to lose Andy Flynn, a seeming impossibility.
Closing the door behind them, he pulled her back into his arms. Kissing her strongly, passionately, something more forceful than anything they had yet done. She threw herself into it, and realized her lips would be swollen and bruised at this rate. Tears gave way to passion, as they both threw themselves into this. She stood on tiptoe, kissing him back as hard as he was kissing her. He groaned. He wanted more. Andy leaned further in to deepen the kiss, grinding his body against hers. Andy pulled her body ever closer. He thanked God she was wearing a skirt today, he reached down, pulling it upwards, giving his hands access to what lay underneath.
Brenda squeaked as his hands pulled up her skirt. He gained easy access to her, and she started to moan as he worked his fingers. The only thing she could do was to hold on to his waist, as he kissed her. Her fingers squeezing his sides tightly, as he once again kissed her deeply, leaving her gasping for air. His fingers moved to the buttons on her blouse, and he began unbuttoning them, pushing the material aside, before running his tongue down her chest.
Andy's mouth claimed hers again, as she went to work on the buttons and zipper on his pants, letting them drop to his ankles. She worked on his boxers next, pushing them downwards with some difficulty. Finally, free of the clothing, he cupped her buttocks, pulling her upwards. She tightened around him, as he lifted her up and leaned her firmly against the wall to steady himself. She wrapped her legs around his waist, holding his shoulders painfully as he thrust into her. He kept it powerful and deep, and their heavy breathing echoed throughout the apartment. His hand grasped hers, and raised it above her head, as he attacked her neck, sucking on the flesh til it reddened.
Brenda's head pressed against the wall and her mouth hung open as she breathed heavily. Her breathing matched his as he increased the pressure, slowing. Long, pounding thrusts as he had her. She lowered her head to his, continuing to kiss him forcefully. One of his hands kept hold of hers, while he placed the other under her buttock, as he continued to pound into her with his lasting strength and breath that remained in his body.
His head dropped to her chest as he gave one last thrust. She cried out with release and collapsed into his arms when he freed her hands. Their breathing was loud and heavy as they held each other. They stood there for awhile, both too weak to move. Finally, he lowered her, her feet touching the floor, her legs feeling like they were made of jelly. She'd never done that before, just letting herself being taken like that. She felt spent and in need of a shower. She lowered her skirt, too late for modesty, not when he'd taken her like that. He refused to let go of her, pulling her to him again.
"I'm sorry, I really am. Are we going to be able to make this work?" he questioned her.
"Andy, I'd like to think so. It's why I came after you, I didn't want you to go." They touched foreheads. "I never even went after Fritz like that, the day he walked out on me."
That filled Andy with happiness. It showed him that he really did mean something to her, more than she'd let on. They were still breathing heavily, their exertions having taken a lot out of them, after a stress-filled day.
"First fight, first make-up sex, which was amazing, by the way." Andy said to her.
Brenda didn't speak, just leaned against him for a few more moments. Finally, she said "I have to go shower. I told Sgt. Gabriel I'd meet them for drinks tonight. Are you coming with me?" She still felt unsteady.
"I have to go home and change. I'll meet you at the bar, okay?" Flynn would rather have taken her to her bed and replayed what they'd just done, but she'd promised Gabriel. They needed to act as if nothing was out of the ordinary with them.
"Um, yeah, sure. Don't be too long, okay? And Andy? I should have talked to you today, I shouldn't have just walked away and left you wondering. Don't be too angry with me, okay?" Brenda looked down, unable to meet his gaze now.
"I should have trusted you. And I'm sorry I said what I said. It was wrong of me. Please forgive me, Brenda." Andy whispered, feeling she could disappear on him.
In answer, Brenda kissed him once again, deeply. She was falling fast, the impossible having become possible in a shorter time than she had ever thought.