Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

Rated M for language, sexuality, graphic violence.

"Hands I have taken, face I have kiss'd, mortal I have ever touch'd, it shall be you."

- Walt Whitman, "Song of Myself," 24, l. 47

Chapter 12 – It Shall Be You

EPOV

I stood there in shock. What the hell had just happened?

My mind reeled. One minute I was experiencing the most erotic moments of my entire life and the next I was standing alone in my family room, my pants unfastened and down around my hips and my shorts soaked through with jizz. Confused didn't even begin to describe it.

God, the things he had said to me. How often he thought about me. How I made him feel. How much he wanted me. And all the while his hard cock was pressed against my ass from behind while his hand stroked my dick through the thin fabric of my boxer briefs. My legs felt weak and my cheeks flushed just thinking about it.

But then he had run, claiming it was wrong. Touching me, making me feel more excited and aroused than I ever had been in my life was wrong? Making me come and cry out his name was wrong? It didn't feel wrong. It felt like the best and most amazing experience I had ever had. My body could still feel him pressed up against me; I could still hear his voice in my ear, still feel his hand on my cock.

Did he not want me after all? I was left standing alone before I had even come down off the high of my orgasm. I couldn't help but felt rejected, and very hurt. I was in love with Jasper. I wasn't exactly sure when it had happened; I only knew that I was. It wasn't anything like what I had felt for Mike. This was deeper… stronger. I thought about him all the time; my body burned for him. But this was more than lust, more than a physical attraction. It had happened so gradually that I didn't even realize what had occurred until I was brought to the point of ecstasy in his arms tonight. The realization of how deeply I had fallen for him had overwhelmed me as my body responded to the firm touch of his hand.

In that moment as he whispered in my ear and touched his tongue to the skin of my throat, as my body tensed in exquisite release, I just knew. I was in love with Jasper Whitlock.

He was amazing—thoughtful, reflective, incredibly smart. I could talk to him about anything. He was kind and empathetic. He loved his family and was extremely loyal. It didn't hurt that he was incredibly sexy and completely beautiful. I felt my face flush as once again memories of the evening flooded through my mind—his hand stroking my cock, his cool breath on my neck, his arm around my chest. The images were so powerful I could feel myself starting to get hard again. I knew it wasn't just the insane physical response I had to him that made me feel so strongly abut him. There was so much more to him than his killer body, gorgeous face and dazzling smile.

Besides all that, he was prone to self-loathing; he thought he was a monster, unworthy. I knew differently.

Even though much of his life before the Cullens was still a mystery to me, even though he had difficulty opening up to me fully and was still skittish regarding physical touch, I had thought he cared for me too. His whispered words seemed to say so, but then he had bolted and left me here confused and alone.

"This is wrong." His words echoed in my head and I had to shut my eyes for a moment to push back the panic that started creeping in. I didn't want to get ahead of myself. Maybe he was just spooked by how far things had gone tonight. I fucking came in his hand, after all. I had seen him cringe before when I had simply reached out to touch his face. I tried not to let the rejection and hurt get the better of me and resolved that I would talk to him tomorrow, after we both had time to settle down. In the meantime, I could at least clean up and change my shorts.

I lay on the couch absently watching television half the night, dozing off and on, trying not to think of how I felt when he ran out earlier this evening, instead remembering each touch, each whisper. Those were the words I wanted to be true more than anything, not the ones he had uttered as he bolted out the door.

The next morning I dragged my body down the stairs and headed straight for the coffee. I grunted a hello to my Mother who was sitting at the counter reading the paper.

"Late night, sweetie?" she asked, giving me that mom look that said she was trying to assess how much trouble I had gotten into while they were in Seattle last night.

"Not really," I replied honestly. "I had trouble sleeping."

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

"I think so. No. I don't know," I answered incoherently.

"You know I'm here if you want to talk about anything, don't you?"

"Yeah, thanks," I said, sitting down next to her, sipping on my coffee trying to wake up.

"Okay. I love you, baby," she said, leaning over to hug me and kiss the top of my head.

"I love you too, Mom."

I waited until evening to call Jasper, hoping that he would call first. Esme answered the phone. When I asked to speak to Jasper she told me he wasn't feeling well, but she would give him the message that I called. I thanked her then lay back down on the couch for the rest of the night. I tried to tell myself that maybe he really wasn't feeling well, but I knew it wasn't true; he was avoiding me.

I tried again in the morning and then again Sunday night. Each time I was given the same response. I hung up the phone with a soft, "Fuck."

My Mom overheard me as she entered the room. "Boy troubles?" she asked. When I didn't respond, she said, "Honey, you've been moping around all weekend. It might help to talk about it with someone."

I gave a heavy sigh. "Jasper won't return my calls."

"Jasper? Isn't he a little old for you, honey?"

I rolled my eyes. "Mom, he's a senior too. Forget I said anything," I added in a surly tone.

"No, no. I'm sorry. He seems so… mature. I just don't want you to get hurt. It's hard for me to remember that you're not a little boy anymore. My baby's all grown up and dating boys."

"We're not dating, Mom." I didn't know to describe what was going on between the two of us. I was in love with him, and he… well, right now he wasn't even talking to me.

"But you'd like to be?" my Mom prodded.

I let out another heavy sigh. "Yeah."

"If he can't see what a wonderful, special, sweet and loving boy you are, he's not worth your time," she said holding my shoulders and looking me in the eyes.

"I think he is worth my time," I answered firmly.

She looked at me for a moment, her eyes searching my face. "I'm not helping at all, am I?" she asked with a smile.

My lips twitched into a smile. "No, but you get points for trying."

She pulled me into a hug. "Well, that's something at least. I love you, sweetheart." I felt her lips on the top of my head.

Mom's hugs were the best. I stayed in her arms, letting her comfort me for a few minutes more. "I love you too."

On Monday I was anxious to get to school and see Jasper. He couldn't avoid me forever. I barely waited for Alice to be seated in our first hour prep period before asking her about her brother.

She gave me a sympathetic look. "He's not feeling well. He stayed home today."

I could tell she was lying. "Right," I said bitterly, struck with disappointment. I had never considered he wouldn't be here today. "I hope he feels better soon." I turned from her and put the ear buds from my iPod in and shut my eyes, trying not to think about how much it hurt that he would actually skip school so he didn't have to see me.

I felt a hand on my arm and opened my eyes to see Alice's distressed face looking at me. I took my ear buds out. "Edward, give him some time. Things are… complicated. There are things about Jasper you don't know."

Of course there were things I didn't know. Because he refused to tell me, even when I had asked, when I had told him it didn't fucking matter, whatever secrets he had. And how much time did he need? I'd tried to be patient. He was the one who had whispered all those things in my ear. He was the one who had stroked my dick until I came. He was the one who had fucking run out without an explanation and refused to speak to me. I knew if I responded to Alice, I'd end up snapping at her, so I simply put my ear buds back in and leaned my head back, closing my eyes.

When he didn't show up again on Tuesday, the hurt I felt started to morph into anger. How could he say what he did and then just ignore me for three days? It was going on four now. If he didn't want anything to do with me anymore, he was going to have to tell me to my face. This was bullshit.

I skipped practice after school and drove straight to the Cullens'. Esme answered the door and let me know Jasper was up in his room. I raced up the stairs and burst through the door without knocking. He was standing there waiting for me, looking as gorgeous as ever, and obviously feeling just fine. "What the fuck, Jasper?"

As I ranted at him, venting all my frustration of the last few days, he blurted out, "I love you too, Edward."

I was stunned into silence. I hadn't even realized I had told him I loved him. All my anger and hurt faded away and I was filled with happiness. He loved me. I don't even remember what we said next, but I found myself wrapped in his arms, his face buried in my hair. My heart thundered inside my chest and I felt overwhelmed by the rightness of it all. I wanted to stay there forever.

I couldn't keep the smile off my face for the rest of the afternoon as we played chess and hung out. Jasper's expression mirrored mine; his beautiful smile warmed me from the inside out. A few hours later my Mom called on my cell, asking where I was and requesting that I please come home for dinner. Jasper and I stood at the door and I was filled with uncertainty. I wanted nothing more than to pull him to me and kiss him. That crazy tug I always felt around him was even stronger now that we had confessed our feelings for each other. I had promised to take things slowly, however. I wasn't going to push him and have him run again.

When he closed the space between us and took my face in his hands, his cool fingers brushing over my cheeks and his thumbs caressing my bottom lip before he replaced them with his mouth, I thought my heart would beat right out of my chest. I could taste the coffee he had been drinking, but it was the taste and smell of Jasper, heady and sweet and delicious, that made my head reel. My entire body thrilled with excitement and I let out a small moan as his fingers threaded through my hair and he pulled me closer, his body pressing against mine.

After a moment, he released me and I stood there dazed and incredibly aroused, wondering how it was possible that I could be so turned on by just one kiss. Jasper's eyes were dark and intense as they stared into mine. I couldn't look away. "I'll see you tomorrow, Edward," he said, and I just nodded dumbly, unsure if I still had the ability to speak. His lips quirked up into a smile and I gave a short laugh in response, shaking my head as if to clear it. I couldn't contain the wide grin that split across my face as I gave small wave and walked towards my car.

I was still smiling when I walked into my house. My mom was in the kitchen, putting away some food in the fridge.

"Nice of you to join us," she said, a tinge of sarcasm in her voice.

I kissed her cheek. "Sorry, Mom, I lost track of time."

"I was just putting the leftovers away," she said, bringing the dish back out and placing it on the counter. "Help yourself. And clean up after you're done, please."

"Okay, thanks," I said, fixing a plate of food. I sat at the counter and started stuffing my face, suddenly realizing how hungry I was.

"I see your appetite's back," Mom said with a smile. "I take it you and Jasper are on speaking terms again?"

"Yeah, you could say that," I responded, smiling.

"I'm happy the two of you worked things out," she said, rubbing my back.

"The two of who?" my dad asked, as he entered the kitchen.

"Of whom," my mother corrected automatically.

I may as well let my dad know too, since Jasper was going to be around a lot more. At least I hoped so.

"Me and Jasper," I said to my dad.

"You and Jasper, huh?" he asked. "As in, you and Jasper?" he said raising his eyebrows, emphasizing our names so that his meaning was clear.

"Yeah," I nodded, continuing to eat.

"Huh," he said then paused for a minute. "Do I know this boy?" he asked my mom. He was busy processing that my gayness had now obviously moved from the theoretical to the actuality of me dating another guy.

"One of the Cullens' boys. He's a senior, like Edward. You've met him. Tall, blonde, very handsome."

Very handsome. Fucking gorgeous.

My dad grunted. He looked at me appraisingly, beginning, "Son…" I inwardly groaned. I could tell he was gearing up for another of his uncomfortable sex talks. "Just so we understand each other…the house rules apply to boyfriends as well as girlfriends."

I held up my hand to stop him. "Dad, please… stop. I get it."

"Ed, leave the boy alone and let him finish his dinner," my mom interrupted.

"Fine. Okay. We're clear here?" he asked me.

"Crystal." At least we had avoided any references to condoms this time like the mortifying conversation about Bella. Things definitely could have gone a lot worse.

I finished my dinner and cleaned up then wished my parents good night before heading up to bed. I was exhausted after the restless sleep I had had for the past few nights. As I lay in bed, I replayed the moment over and over in my head when Jasper had said he loved me. I thought about the feel of his arms as they had wrapped around me and held me close, the taste of his lips on mine. My last thought as I drifted off was that I didn't think I had ever been as happy.

I made it to school early, hoping to catch Jasper in the parking lot before school. I was a little nervous. First, just to be seeing him again after what we had said to each other. It was a good nervous though, the excited, anticipatory kind where butterflies fluttered around inside my stomach. Second, we hadn't really talked about how we would act in public. I still wasn't ready to be out in Forks, and I hoped he was okay with that. I knew, though, that I'd do whatever he wanted. If he wanted people to know we were together, I'd never deny him.

My heart beat increased as I saw Alice's car pull into the lot. I couldn't wait to see him again. I hungrily watched as he got out of the car, his long legs swinging out of the passenger side door. He strode across the lot purposefully towards me, his eyes never leaving mine. His movements were so graceful, so powerful. God, he was fucking sexy. When he reached me, he pulled me into his arms and I heard his deep sigh as he whispered, "Edward" into my hair.

I reveled in the feel of his hard chest against mine, his thighs leaning into me. He felt so good. Our embrace lasted only seconds before he pulled away. I felt a pang of disappointment, but it was for the best. To outside eyes, our greeting would simply look like two friends hugging each other hello. Inside, it felt like coming home.

"Good morning, Jasper," I said, a wide smile on my face. I was so fucking happy he was here. "It's good to see you back. Are you feeling better?" I asked, joking about his skipping the past two days of school.

"Now I am," he answered with a smile in his eyes, and in a voice that was earnest and sincere. I felt my stomach flutter in response. His golden eyes burned into mine and I could swear I saw them grow darker right before my eyes as he reached up his hand to run his cool fingertips lightly across my cheek. My skin burned under his touch and I felt my breath catch as a surge of desire shot through me. The things he did to me.

"Jasper," I said with a small groan, leaning into his hand and licking my lips. My dick was already twitching in my pants. I shut my eyes trying to contain myself. We needed to talk, I reminded myself.

I opened my eyes and saw my own hunger reflected back at me. How could I possibly be expected to be coherent when he looked at me like that? It took everything I had not to throw myself into his arms and press my lips against his, feel his hard, strong body firm against mine, but I managed to get out a "Can we talk for a minute?"

He took a step back and said with a gentle smile, "Sure, Edward."

I felt anxious. I rubbed the back of my neck and shifted uncomfortably. I wasn't sure how to have this conversation. I didn't want him to think I was ashamed of him by not wanting people to know we were seeing each other.

He seemed to sense how I was feeling. "Hey, it's okay Edward, whatever it is. Talk to me."

I took a deep breath. "Well, we didn't really talk about how we'd act at school. I don't even know if you're out."

"My family knows," he said. "About me, and about us."

Hearing him use the word "us" made my insides jump. That sounded so good.

"My family knows too, but I'm not out anywhere else. No one at school knows I'm gay. Well, except for Bella, and now Alice I guess. I kind of want to keep it that way. Do you mind?" I asked him.

"Whatever you want, Edward," he reassured me. "I mean that. Whatever you're comfortable with is fine with me." He leaned in, so that he was speaking softly into my ear. I could feel his cool breath on my face. "Just know that even if I'm acting unaffected, as if we're nothing more than friends, inside, I'm burning for you."

"Jesus, Jasper," I whispered, my face flushing hotly and my body swaying in his direction. I wondered how I was going to be able to act unaffected.

#####

At lunch Mike slid into the seat next to me with an exuberant, "Eddie!"

"Hey, Mike," I said. "How's it going?"

"Great! Hey, are you going to the game Friday night? Tyler's parents are out of town again, so afterwards… par-tee!" he exclaimed.

I hesitated, seeing Jasper entering the cafeteria with Alice. I knew he wouldn't want to go, and truthfully, I didn't want to hang out with the gang this weekend. I wanted to spend as much time alone with Jasper as I possibly could.

"I don't know, Mike. Regionals are Saturday. Coach would kill me if he found out I was out partying the night before."

Mike followed my gaze and saw Jasper walking towards us. "C'mon, Eddie. We've hardly spent any time together this year. I'm still your best friend, aren't I? You've gotta come!" He flashed a winning smile. If I didn't know him so well, I might have missed the flicker of hurt in his eyes. I felt guilty, realizing he was right. I had hardly spent any of my free time with Mike this year, choosing instead to spend every spare minute possible with Jasper.

"Of course you're still my best friend," I reassured him. "If it wasn't Regionals, I'd go, but I just can't this Friday."

"Well how about Saturday then?" he asked next. "A bunch of us are going to the movies. You're going too," he decided for me.

I laughed. "Okay, Saturday. I'm in."

"Good," he replied. He turned to address Jasper who had joined us at the table. "You should come too, Whitlock," he suggested.

"Come where?" Jasper asked.

"To the movies Saturday night. Eddie can give you a ride, or you could catch a ride with Tyler and Alice. The whole gang will be there."

"Sure. That sounds fun," Jasper responded. "Thanks." All I could focus on were the completely filthy thoughts that filled my mind when Mike talked about me giving Jasper a ride.

Friday night I really did need to get a good night's sleep, but there was no way I was passing up a chance to spend the evening with Jasper. It was the first time we would be alone together since Tuesday night. I know we had said we would take things slowly, but practically all I had thought about was kissing Jasper, touching Jasper… getting naked with Jasper.

When I rang the bell at the Cullens', Jasper opened the door immediately, as if he were waiting on the other side. I smiled at him as he bestowed one of his dazzling smiles on me. So fucking gorgeous. I swear my heart skipped a beat when he stepped closer and I caught the hungry look in his eyes. He cupped my face in his hands then kissed me soundly. I thought my knees would give out. I melted into him, gripping the front of his shirt in my fists and returned the kiss with enthusiasm, groaning into his mouth. When I traced his bottom lip with my tongue, I heard an answering moan from him and his fingers slid into my hair, tightening their grip, pulling me closer.

"Get a room!" a voice called from inside the house.

Jasper broke away from me and he looked as dazed as I felt. It stunned me that I seemed to affect him the same way that he affected me.

I cleared my throat, completely flustered. "Hi Jasper," I finally said. "It's good to see you."

His lips quirked up into a smile. "It's good to see you too, Edward. Won't you please come in?" I looked at him and then we both started laughing. He motioned me inside then took my coat from me and hung it up in the entryway closet. As we passed through the living room I saw Emmett and Rosalie hanging out on the couch.

"Edward!" Emmett cried. "How's it hanging? Although from the…"

"Not another word," Jasper cut in sternly, glaring at him menacingly. His expression was lethal and dangerous. Holy shit; if looks could kill… I felt a shiver run down my spine. My boyfriend was badass.

"No problemo, bro. Just saying hello to my good friend Edward here," Emmett said with his hands held up in surrender. Rosalie glared at me, but didn't say anything. Some people never change.

Jasper shot one more warning glance in Emmett's direction then turned towards me. "I just made some coffee. Would you like some?" he asked.

"That sounds great, actually. I could use a little caffeine. I'm kind of beat. I didn't get a lot of sleep this week."

He looked at me with such a pained expression that I could practically feel the guilt rolling off him. I should never have mentioned I was tired. God, he was hard on himself. I didn't know what to say, so I just followed him into the kitchen. I wanted his smiles back.

"If you're tired, we can get together another night if you like," he suggested, although I could tell from his expression he hated the idea.

"No way," I responded. "I've been looking forward to this all day. You can't get rid of me that easily. Maybe we can just keep it low key and hang out in your room and talk. Or make out," I added with a shrug of my shoulders. He smiled. That was more like it.

We took our coffees upstairs to his bedroom and I settled onto the couch by the window. There were new books on the coffee table. Some Civil War book and Leaves of Grass. I picked up the Whitman and started flipping through it. An erotic passage caught my eye and I read through a bit of the poem, the sensuous imagery igniting my brain.

"Would you like me to read it to you?" Jasper asked. I nodded, wordlessly handing him the book.

He sat down on the other end of the sofa and pulled one of the throw pillows into his lap. "Here," he said, patting the pillow. "Lay your head down and rest." I kicked my shoes off and leaned back, placing my head on the pillow. I closed my eyes as Jasper's rich velvet voice started reading the passage from Song of Myself.

I let the words flow over me as the sound of his voice filled the room. I felt his gentle fingers playing in my hair, softly massaging my scalp. I sighed in pleasure. His cool fingertips lightly touched my cheeks, my nose, my eyelids, my lips, each gentle caress leaving a trail of fire in its wake.

I don't know how much time passed. I was lost in a haze of pleasure as his rhythmic voice recited the beautiful words of the poem and his fingers continued to tantalize me with their delicate touch. Eventually his hands stilled and his voice grew more intense. I opened my eyes to find him staring directly into mine.

"Hands I have taken, face I have kiss'd, mortal I have ever touch'd, it shall be you," he recited intently. I reached up to grab his hand and brought it to my lips, kissing his palm reverently. "It shall be you," he repeated in a whisper and we stared at one another, lost in each other's eyes. I had never met anyone like Jasper before. While the other kids our age were at the football game, sneaking booze from their parents' liquor cabinets, and trying to cop a feel, I was being read poetry by the most beautiful man in existence. It was romantic as hell.

I swallowed heavily and whispered back to him, "I'd really like to kiss you now."

"Then kiss me," he responded with a sigh, sending my heart rate skyrocketing. I sat up and leaned towards him, placing my lips lightly against his. This time instead of the electric shock I had come to expect, there was a low buzzing between us, like the tension in the air right before a storm. I leaned back and raised my hand to his face, touching his features as he had done to mine, trailing my fingertips across his perfect face—his lips, his cheeks, his forehead.

"You're so beautiful," I whispered. I could hardly believe this was real, that I was allowed to touch and kiss this amazing creature.

"You're the beautiful one," he said to me, his eyes dark and stormy. My stomach did a little flip.

"Tell me again," I entreated.

"I love you, Edward," he whispered as he kissed me again.

We spent the evening talking and kissing and reading and kissing, soft sweet kisses, slow sensuous kisses, deep passionate kisses. I could kiss him forever. I was aching for more, but I let him set the pace, trying to hide my disappointment each time he pulled back as things heated up. I told myself we would have many nights like these; we had plenty of time. He read me more Whitman, a poem called To a Stranger, and told me that's how he felt when he first saw me, as if we'd lived a lifetime together and were destined to meet again.

The next few weeks were like a dream. We spent every spare moment together and I fell deeper for him with every passing day. I could barely remember what my life was like before I met Jasper; I only knew that nothing in the universe could feel better than this, than loving Jasper and being loved by him.

I was in the kitchen grabbing something to eat before meeting Jasper for our Sunday morning run when my mom walked in.

"Off for a run?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm meeting Jasper."

"You two boys are certainly spending a lot of time together lately. Don't you think you might be taking things a little too fast?" she asked.

"No," I answered definitively. "When it's right, it's right." I gave a little rueful laugh. "And you can believe me when I say things are not going too fast. Not at all."

"I don't need the details," she said with a smile, kissing my head. "I know how easy it is to get wrapped up in a new boyfriend, but don't forget your other friends in the process. I can't even remember the last time you had Bella or Mike over."

She was right. Thinking about it, the last time I spent any time with them outside school was at the movies a few weeks ago, and even then, I barely spoke to anyone, spending all my concentration on the feeling of Jasper's leg pressed up against mine in the dark theater.

"Okay, Mom. I promise I'll start hanging out more with my other friends," I told her with a smile.

"Good. I just don't want to see you get hurt honey," she said.

"Jasper would never hurt me," I assured her.

"Oh, I know. That's not what I meant. I mean getting so serious with this boy at such a young age. You're still in high school, honey. And next year you'll be off to college and meeting new people. You've got your whole life ahead of you."

"Jasper is my life now," I told her. A worried expression crossed her face. "Edward," she started.

"No," I interrupted her. "I understand what you're saying, and I'll make sure I'm not neglecting my other friendships, but I don't think you understand. I love Jasper. That's not going to change when I go off to college. He's the one. I don't need to meet other people to know that. I know it now."

She sighed.

"Why can't you just be happy for me, Mom?" I asked.

"I am happy for you, sweetheart. I am. But I'm your mother. It's my job to worry."

"There's nothing to worry about," I told her, giving her a hug. "It's all good."

She hugged me back tightly for a few minutes before letting go to pour coffee in two travel mugs.

"Your father and I won't be home until late. There are leftovers in the fridge, or you boys can order some pizza for dinner if you like. I'm assuming you and Jasper will be spending the day together?" she said with a question in her voice.

"That's the plan."

"Okay, honey. Have fun and be good. Make sure you get your homework done."

"Will do. See you guys later."

Jasper was in a playful mood during our run. I loved seeing him like this, smiling and joking and flirting. I'd take any chance at all to see those adorable dimples on his cheeks. He had the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. Too often he seemed to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders and it was great to see him acting happy and carefree.

He dashed in front of me on the road and turned so that he was facing me, keeping up his pace as he ran backwards. Damn, he was coordinated. If I tried that, I'd probably fall flat on my ass. He shot me a lecherous grin, raising his eyebrows at me, saying, "Looking good, Masen."

"Not so bad yourself, Whitlock," I panted out in return, once again marveling at what incredible shape he was in. He never seemed to get out of breath when we ran. His conditioning was phenomenal. As was his physique. Yum.

We were approaching my street and I decided to have a little fun with him. "Race you to the house!" I challenged. "If you win, I'll let you shower with me."

He burst out laughing. "As if you could outrun me! You know I'll win, Edward. You don't stand a chance in a race against me. I see straight through your obvious ploy to get me naked." Well, yeah. I'd been dreaming about getting him naked for weeks. Whatever works.

"Ah, but there's a catch," I said with a grin. "You have to run backwards the whole way home."

"I'll still win, Masen," he predicted cockily.

I scoffed. "Right."

"You'll see. Bring it."

"Fine. Ready… set… go!" I yelled and took off. As I ran past Jasper, his arm shot out and grabbed me around the waist. He lifted me straight off the ground and threw me over his shoulder, his arms wrapped around my thighs and my head hanging down his back. He continued to run backwards, all the while carrying me while I laughed hysterically. I struggled to break free, but I was laughing too hard, and fuck, he was strong. Plus, I had an incredible view of his ass from here.

He reached my front porch and continued to the top of the stairs, climbing them backwards. When he reached the front door, he set me down and exclaimed triumphantly, "I win!"

"You cheated! You're a big cheating cheater who cheats!" I accused, still laughing.

"I did not cheat!" he insisted in an indignant voice. "There was no rule against carrying my opponent. The only rule was I had to run backwards, and I did. I ran backwards the entire way. I won fair and square."

"Cheater," I shot back as I unlocked the door. "Technically, I won the race, since my head crossed the finish line first."

He made a dismissive Pftttt sound. "I won the race, and I demand my prize: shower time with Edward," he declared.

Suddenly, I realized it was very much in my best interests to let him win.

"Oh you do, do you?" I looked in his smiling eyes, seeing if he was serious. Was he really going to take things further between us, finally, and actually get naked with me?

"I do," he said with a soft smile and my heart thudded in response.

"Okay, you win," I said breathlessly. My heart was singing. "Race you up the stairs," I said with a laugh, dashing for the staircase before he could respond. I heard his laughter then he was right behind me, grabbing me around my waist and stumbling up the rest of the flight with me.

"Now who's the cheater?" he asked with a smile. God, those dimples were killer.

I grinned back unrepentantly and grabbed some towels out of the linen closet before heading into the bathroom. I leaned in to turn on the water, adjusting the temperature until it was nice and hot. I turned to look at Jasper and we stood facing each other in the small room. The heat from the shower had nothing on the heat from his expression. My body hummed in anticipation.

Smiling while staring into his eyes, I kicked off my shoes and saw him do the same in my peripheral vision. My eyes never leaving his, I lifted my feet one by one and slipped off my socks. His followed. I grabbed the neckline of my pullover and pulled it over my head, dropping it on the floor. He did the same. Our shirts followed and we were both naked from the waist up. God, his body was just as gorgeous as I remembered. I raised my eyebrow at him as I ran my thumbs under the waistband of my pants, giving him the opportunity to back down if he wanted. He simply cocked his eyebrow in response and flashed his dimples at me again. I pulled my pants down and stepped out of them, still staring into his beautiful golden eyes. He did the same and we were both standing in nothing but our underwear. I took a deep breath then slipped my boxer briefs over my ass, freeing my dick as I got completely naked for him. His hungry eyes stayed focused on mine as he stepped out of his own.

I succumbed first as my eyes were drawn down his body. His cock was long and thick and as hard as my own. "Nice," I breathed out, appreciatively.

He chuckled. "You too," he said as his hungry eyes roved over my body.

I held the shower door open for him. "After you," I said. I watched him as he stepped under the spray of the water. He lifted his face to the jets and ran his hands through his hair, wetting it thoroughly. I watched as the water streamed over his face, his broad shoulders and down his backside. I had never seen anything more beautiful in my entire life. My hands itched to touch him.

He looked over at me, shaking the water from his head and asked, "Aren't you going to join me?" I couldn't believe this was finally happening. My stomach knotted in anticipation and I stepped into the shower and straight into his arms. The feel of his bare skin against my own was incredible. Then his mouth was on mine as he kissed me hungrily and the heat flared between us like an inferno. We kissed and touched for blissful moments and I was lost in sensation, every inch of my skin burning for him. I reveled in the feel of his hard body, my hands sliding over the curve of his ass and pulling him closer. I gasped as our hard cocks rubbed together and was hit with a wave of desire so strong my head was spinning. My head fell back as I gasped out his name and his lips were on my neck, my shoulder, my jaw, his tongue running over my skin.

"Edward, Edward, Edward," he panted in my ear as his hands roamed over my body and his hips ground into mine. "You don't know how I've ached to touch you, to feel you like this," he groaned.

"Then touch me. Feel me. I'm yours, Jasper. All yours," I answered breathlessly. He captured my lips in another passionate kiss and I was drowning in want, all rational thought completely leaving me. I never knew anything could feel like this.

He pulled away to look at me and I was stunned by the expression on his face. His eyes were dark, almost black and they were wild and intense, as if his hunger was barely contained. Goosebumps traveled over my skin. I was causing this reaction in him. Me. It was a heady feeling, that I could have such power over this remarkable creature.

His hand came up to stroke my face and he said, "In all my years, I've never seen anything as beautiful as you. I don't deserve you, but I'll spend the rest of eternity striving to be worthy."

I knew it was useless to argue with him when he said things like this. He never believed me when I told him that I was the lucky one. "The rest of eternity still wouldn't be enough time to spend with you," I told him earnestly. All that poetry was totally turning me into a romantic. But I meant it. With Jasper, I always craved more, and I could never get enough.

He pulled me in for another sweet kiss. "Let me take care of you," he requested, turning me so that I was under the spray of the shower. He reached for the shampoo and squirted some into his hand. I nodded and let the water saturate my hair. I stepped away a bit so that it wasn't spraying directly on my head and closed my eyes as Jasper began working the shampoo through my hair. His fingers were strong as he massaged my scalp in gentle, sensuous movements. I hummed in pleasure. He pulled me back under the spray and I dipped my head under the jets, rinsing the soap out of my hair.

Next he took the body wash and put some in his palm. He rubbed his hands together to lather them up then placed them on my shoulders close to my neck, rubbing gentle circles into my skin. He ran them over my chest next and stared intently at my nipples as his agile finger teased them to hardness. I took a deep breath and willed myself to stay still and not grab him and kiss him senseless. His hands moved back up to my shoulders then down my right arm, caressing my biceps, my forearm, my wrists, my fingers. He followed the same path back up my arm, then down the other and back up again, ending where he had started, with his hands on my shoulders. His eyes stayed focused on his hands, never straying from their close examination of my skin. It was as if he were learning me inch by inch, worshipping my body.

He turned me so that my back was to him and I felt his lips on the back of my neck. I closed my eyes again, gently swaying as I was consumed by a powerful surge of love and lust. I heard him pouring more of the wash into his hands and then his fingers were massaging the spot his mouth had just been. His hands roamed over my back, making lazy circles over my shoulders, tickling me and he trailed a finger down the middle of my spine. They curved over my backside and I sucked in a deep breath when his soapy hand slid between the cheeks of my ass. His slick finger gently slid across the opening of my flesh and I gave a small cry of surprise and pleasure as he touched me so intimately. Then his hands were back on my ass and running down the backs of my thighs.

I could tell he was kneeling now as he took the same care with my legs and feet as he had with my arms and hands. I reveled in the sensation of his hands moving over my skin, sucking in another sharp breath as they slid up to the juncture of my thighs, slightly grazing my balls. Jasper slowly rose to his feet, running his hands up the back of my thighs, again over my ass then circled them around my waist. He rubbed his hands over my abs and they quivered as he slowly stroked lower getting closer and closer to my straining erection.

He pressed his body against mine as his arms encircled me from behind and I felt his hard cock against the crack of my ass. His chest was against my back and his face was in my hair. We were in the exact same position as the first time we had been so physical. Except this time we were in love and we were both naked.

"I promise I won't run this time," he said into my ear as his hand finally grabbed hold of my aching dick. I couldn't help the loud keening noise that came out of my mouth as his fingers closed around my erection. His soapy hands slid up and down my aching length and I writhed against him, already keyed up from his torturous erotic caresses. I tried to will myself to calm down, but I was completely aroused and so turned on I thought I'd explode.

"Oh, God, Jasper," I moaned and turned my head so I could kiss him. I smashed my lips against his and he caught my cries with his mouth as he stroked me rhythmically. "You're going to make me come," I warned him, panting into his mouth, my whole body tensing.

"I want you to come undone," he said in my ear. "When I held you like this last and you cried out in release, I thought there was nothing more beautiful in the world than you losing yourself in pleasure."

"Jasper, God… Jasper," I gasped, his words inflaming me further. I could feel my balls tightening and knew it wouldn't be long. "I love you, Edward," Jasper said, his hand continuing to bring me closer to the brink. "I'll always love you. There will never be anyone for me but you, for all eternity." His arm tightened around me, and I felt him bury his face in my neck. "I love you, Edward. I love you," he said fervently into my skin.

I cried out as my orgasm ripped through me, my body jerking as thick ribbons of come shot from my dick. Jasper stroked me as I spasmed against his body, his low growl in my ear sending another shudder through me. My limbs felt like jelly as I fought to catch my breath and I turned in Jasper's arms crushing my mouth against his, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him deeply again and again and again. "So beautiful," he whispered against my cheek as he trailed gentle kisses across my face. "My beautiful boy."

He held me until I returned to earth and was semi-coherent again. I loved the feel of his body flush against mine. I leaned back to look at him, a blissful smile on my face. "Can I wash you now?" I asked. He nodded with a gentle smile.

As Jasper did to me, I directed him under the spray of the shower head and had him wet his hair thoroughly. I pulled him away from the jets and rubbed the shampoo in his hair, massaging his scalp with my fingers. He closed his eyes and a deep rumble came from his chest, like the purr from a great cat. It was fucking sexy. A shot of desire pulsed through me and I felt my dick twitch again. "Do that again," I directed and he opened his eyes, dark and hungry. The rumble sounded for a second time and I breathed, "So fucking sexy," in appreciation.

My hands roamed over every inch of him, tracing his scars, rubbing patterns on his skin, feeling his firm, muscular ass and thighs, his rock hard abs, his beautiful chest. God, he was gorgeous. I couldn't believe he was letting me touch him like this when so many times before he had flinched from me. I eagerly explored his body, taking my time as he had done with me. When I took his long hard cock in my hand he groaned and pressed his forehead against mine. I stroked him a few times, loving the feel of him under my hand, reveling in the almost animalistic sounds coming from him, marveling again that it was me making him feel this way.

After a minute or so, he reached down and grabbed my wrist with his hand and choked out, "Stop. Please."

My hand stilled and I looked up at his face. His eyes were tightly closed and he wore a pained expression on his face. He was swallowing rapidly and seemed to be struggling with some strong emotion.

I took my hand away from him and said, "Jasper, I won't ever do anything that you don't want to do. I just want to make you feel as good as you made me feel."

"I know, Edward," he said. "I… can't right now. I'm sorry."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for, Jasper," I assured him. "C'mon. Let's get out and get dressed before we both turn into prunes, okay?"

"Sure," he answered, pulling me against him in one last embrace. I reveled in the feel of his body against mine, the warm water pouring over both our skins. I hoped he wasn't going to pull away from me again after this. I kissed him hard one last time then leaned behind him to shut the water off.

We toweled off and I couldn't keep my eyes off him. He really was beautiful. His body was unreal. I had just spent the last half hour or so touching him everywhere, but the pull was stronger than ever and my hands itched to be on his skin again. I pushed the impulse aside and grabbed some clothes for both of us out of my dresser. I couldn't, however, resist pulling him against me for one more kiss as he sat on the edge of the bed putting on his socks. We were lost in pleasure and we both fell back on the bed, our legs tangling.

We broke away from each other and lay there on our sides facing each other. I thought I had been happy before I met Jasper, but I just didn't know what happiness could be.

As I searched his face, memorizing his features I thought about some of the things my mom had said this morning.

"Jasper? Do you ever think about the future?" I asked.

"Of course I do," he answered.

"What are your plans for next year?" I asked. "Where are you hoping to go to college?" I asked, not wanting to think about being separated and hoping we'd at least be in the same area of the country.

"Wherever you're going," he said softly back to me.

"Yeah?" I asked with a smile slowly growing across my face.

"Yes," he said smiling back.

xxxxx

I took Mom's words to heart and made more of an effort to do some group things over the next couple of weeks. This was our last year together, after all, and I knew I'd miss these fuckers when I went away next year. Jasper continued to be somewhat reserved around other people; he only really loosened with me or Bella or Alice, but I appreciated that he took the effort to try and get to know my friends when I knew he'd much rather be alone with me.

I was thinking about Jasper, as usual, when I saw a subdued Alice slide into the seat next to me during our first period prep class. She gave me a weak smile and it was so unlike her normal bubbly self that I was concerned.

"Is everything okay, Alice?" I asked, pulling my desk closer to talk to her.

"Tyler broke up with me," she said.

I was surprised. They had both been at the movies this weekend.

"Wow, I'm sorry to hear that," I told her.

"He wanted… more out of the relationship than I was ready for," she said with a frown.

"Oh." I instantly knew what she meant. God, Tyler was such a dick. "Listen, Alice, I've been friends with Tyler a long time, but you're too good for him. If he'd break up with you over something like that, you are much better off without him."

She sighed. "I know. I mean, I really do know. It's not like we were madly in love like you… like some couples, but it's senior year and we've been dating all this time, and he's taking Lauren to the winter formal." She said her name like it left a bad taste in her mouth.

Figures. If something "more out of the relationship" was what he was looking for, Lauren was well known to provide.

"I really wanted to go. It's my senior year," she said plaintively.

"I can take you, Alice," I offered. I didn't even really need to think about it. I knew how she was about these high school rituals. She seemed to get so much more enjoyment out of them than anyone else and I kind of liked seeing her reactions. It made all this goofy high school shit seem almost… important. If she wanted to go that much, I'd make sure she got there.

"You'd do that?" she asked in a hopeful voice.

"Sure. I'd be honored to be your date to the winter formal," I confirmed.

"Thank you, Edward!" she said with a bright smile and she leaned up over her desk to give me a quick hug.

"Oh, I know! I can ask Jasper to take Bella and we can all go together! It's going to be so much fun!" I laughed seeing her enthusiasm. I loved the idea of Bella and Jasper going too. I bet Jasper would look fucking hot in a suit. Maybe we'd even wear tuxes.

"You certainly move fast, don't you, Masen?" Tyler said in the locker room as we got changed for gym later that morning.

I didn't answer him.

"I wouldn't waste your time," he continued. "I've been dating the girl for almost two years and I've barely gotten to second base."

I felt my blood start to boil.

"Maybe it's just you, Tyler," Kip, one of the other ball players, said. "Masen got the luscious Bella Swan to give it up, after all. I bet you that he'll be the one to thaw your little ice queen too."

"Fuck you, Kip. It's definitely not me. Mallory's been happy enough to suck my dick for the last three months and I haven't heard any complaints from her."

"Like that's any kind of fair assessment. Lauren's mouth is usually too full of cock to complain about anything."

"Screw you. Twenty bucks says Masen doesn't get past second base," Tyler challenged.

"You're on," Kip agreed with a high five to Tyler.

I slammed my locker shut. "You guys are pigs," I spat out with disgust and stalked out of the locker room. Sometimes I wondered why I was even friends with these guys. Was it just out of habit since we had known and gone to school with each other for so long? I was shocked to find out that Lauren had been sucking off Tyler while he was still seeing Alice. That was fucked up.

I was still sort of steaming about Tyler on Saturday when Jasper came over to hang out. Once again my parents were in Seattle and wouldn't be coming home until tomorrow. I thanked the stars for my mother's obsessive love of all things musical and my parents' season tickets to the symphony.

Jasper seemed to sense I was upset about something, but I decided I wouldn't tell him what Tyler had said. It felt a little weird keeping something from him, but I had a feeling if I told him, he would not take it well. At all. Jasper may very well be the most romantic fucker on the planet, but that dangerous edge I had sensed from him the very first time I saw him was always there just under the surface. Although Jasper still hadn't ever really told me much about his past, I had spent plenty of time wondering how he had gotten his scars. I remembered Alice telling me how violent his former life had been. I suspected some horrible abuse—he couldn't stand to be touched most of the time, and I was grateful for how close he had allowed me to get. If I told him about Tyler, I could almost guarantee that he wouldn't hesitate to fuck Tyler up. And as satisfying as that may be in the short term, I felt in the long run it would probably be a set back to Jasper letting go of all that self hatred that also still lurked just under the surface.

When Jasper tried to get me to talk about it, I insisted it wasn't really important and I just needed something to take my mind off things. I suggested that making out with my boyfriend would probably help me.

"Oh it would, would it?" he asked with a grin. We were sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee and snacking on some cupcakes Mom had brought home earlier. Well, I was snacking on the cupcakes. Jasper still wouldn't eat in front of me, but I was happy that he would at least drink coffee with me now. I'd take any progress I could get.

"Most definitely," I insisted with a firm nod of my head.

"Well then, anything to help a friend," he said with a smile as he leaned over to kiss me gently on the lips.

At the touch of his lips on mine, that crazy electric shock surged through me and my body was instantly on fire. I moaned and leaned into him, gripping his shoulders tightly with my fingers. More. I wanted more.

I pulled away and looked into his golden eyes seeing the same hunger in them that I knew was coming straight from me. My heart was racing and I felt out of breath. I would never get tired of the way he made me feel. Never.

I stood up and grabbed his hand, pulling him to the family room. "Come with me."

When we reached the couch, I turned him so that the backs of his knees were against the seat cushions, then I gave him a slight push, directing him to take a seat. My eyes never leaving his, I placed one knee on the cushion to the left of his thighs then brought the other down to the right so that I was straddling his lap. I sunk my fingers into his beautiful tawny waves and I leaned in to kiss him hungrily. His hands came up to cup my face as he groaned into my mouth. We kissed for what seemed like hours, each passing minute inflaming me more. His hands were on my face, my back, my ass, pressing me closer to him. My groin bucked into his and I could feel his rock hard dick rubbing against mine through our jeans as the friction of our movements drove us both into a frenzy.

I pulled away panting and looked down at his face, so fucking beautiful with his lips slightly swollen and his eyes dark with desire. "Lie down," I directed and he shifted so that he was lying lengthwise on the couch. I lay flush on top of him and groaned as my dick rubbed against his where our groins were aligned together. I leaned up on my elbows over him and stared into his eyes as I moved my hips, rubbing my crotch against his. It felt amazing and I imagined what this would feel like if we were both naked. I continued our dry humping, moving back and forth over him, shifting my hips slightly with each thrust to vary the sensation. Waves of desire pulsed through me with every answering thrust from him. My heart was pounding and I thrilled at the noises coming from Jasper—small grunts, low moans, soft growls. I was so completely aroused I knew I was going to come in my pants any minute.

I wanted Jasper to know how he made me feel, not just by the response of my body to his, but with the words from my heart. "I'm so in love with you Jasper," I said breathily. "I never knew anything could feel as wonderful as this." I leaned over to kiss him softly on the lips as I ground my hips hard into his. He groaned loudly into my mouth. When I pulled away to look at him again, he reached his hand up to gently touch my face and whispered, "I love you too, Edward. So much."

"I want you to make love to me," I told him, staring deep into his eyes as I continued to thrust against him. "I want you to be the first man to ever take me. The only man. I want to feel you buried deep inside my body, filling me completely."

"Oh, God… Edward," he moaned, closing his eyes tightly and thrashing his head from side to side.

"I want to be yours completely, in every way."

He reached up his hands to grip my shoulders and gently pushed, as if to move me off of him. "You have to stop. You're going to make me come," he gasped out.

"I want you to, Jasper. I want to watch your face as you come," I told him earnestly.

"I can't," he groaned out. "I can't ever lose control with you. I'm afraid to lose control."

My heart clenched at his words. "You don't ever have to be afraid with me, Jasper. Let go. I won't let anything hurt you, I promise."

His arms fell from my shoulders and he gave a small disbelieving laugh. "Edward," he groaned. "Sweet, sweet Edward. My beautiful boy. You don't understand. I'm afraid I'll hurt you," he said, his face pained.

"You could never hurt me, Jasper," I reassured him. "I know you. You would never, ever hurt me. Let yourself go. I'll be right here, watching over you."

My body was on the edge and it took everything I had in me to hold off my orgasm. I wanted Jasper to come with me. My heart was racing and my body was tensing. My hips moved against his in short erratic thrusts. I could feel the tightness in my abdomen and the tingling down my spine. My heart, so full of passion and love and desire and pleasure, was about to burst.

As I stared down into his beautiful face, lined with both pain and pleasure, I gave a few more hard thrusts against him, grunting as I began to lose control, I saw Jasper shut his eyes tightly and throw his head back, his body spasming beneath mine. He was so goddamn beautiful. So beautiful. His cries filled my ears and I followed him into ecstasy, my cries joining his as my own cock found its exquisite release.

When I came back to earth, I hung my head down and rested my forehead against his, gently moving my hips in small circles above him; soft sounds of pleasure still escaped from my lips. My arms gave out from beneath me and I collapsed onto his chest. He reached his arms up to encircle me and he held me close, whispering words of love and adoration in my ear.

When I could move again, I propped myself back up to look at him. He face held a look of wonder and I knew my own probably wore a similar expression. "Thank you for trusting me," I told him softly, my heart aching with love. He just pulled me back towards him and kissed me tenderly. I knew that something indelible had changed between us tonight and neither of us would ever be the same again.

xxxxx

I sat in front of Chief Swan's house and honked the horn for Bella. We were going to Port Angeles today so that Alice and Bella could find dresses for the upcoming dance. Jasper and I were playing chauffeur and tagging along for the ride. There was a music store I had been wanting to check out for a while now and I was looking forward to spending the day with Jasper. It almost felt like a date.

"Hey, Edward," Bella greeted me as she slid into the car.

"Hi Bella," I answered, waiting for her to put her seat belt on then pulling out of her drive to head towards the Cullens'.

"You look good," she said.

"Uh, thanks?" I responded, confused, looking down at my outfit and wondering what the hell she was on. I was wearing jeans, an old sweatshirt and my jacket.

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Boys," she said with exasperation. "I mean that glow you've got about you. I take it things are going well with the gorgeous Texan?"

"Yeah, you could say that," I said with a big grin. "You won't mind me trying to get into your date's pants, I hope."

"Have at it," she said magnanimously. "I'd be disappointed if you weren't trying. That boy is hot."

"Tell me about it," I said with a happy sigh.

"Well, there's his ass, to start, and the way he can fill out a pair of jeans. Then there's the smile. You can't help but notice that pretty smile…"

"Oh my God, Bella. You always have to take things that one step too far, don't you?"

"You know it, lover boy," she said with a laugh.

"You had better behave when Jasper gets in the car," I warned her.

"Or you'll what?" she asked challengingly.

I paused for a moment, trying to think of a suitable threat. "I'll tell Alice that you couldn't stop talking about having a full spa day before the dance with manis and pedis and seaweed wraps and hair and make-up and whatever else shit they do at those girly girl places." I had clocked more than my fair share of hours listening to Rose and Alice and Jessica babble on about spa days during lunch over the last few years.

"You wouldn't dare," Bella said, glaring at me.

"Oh wouldn't I?" I shot back.

"Fine. I won't embarrass you in front of your boyfriend," she conceded.

"Thanks," I said sarcastically.

"By the way, you should never use the phrase 'manis and pedis' again."

Jasper and I dropped the girls off in front of the dress shop, making plans to meet them later for dinner then drove several blocks away to the warehouse building that housed the music store. They had rows upon rows of vinyl and Jasper and I spent close to two hours there. Like almost everything we talked about, Jasper was very knowledgeable about music. He knew about bands I had never even heard of and he seemed equally familiar with a wide variety of musical genres: classical, rock, country, jazz. Once again, I was impressed with how smart he was.

He seemed equally impressed with my knowledge of classical music, noting that most guys our age weren't really into it, but I reminded him of my mother's passion for it, plus I had been forced to take piano lessons from the time I was about five.

"Do you still play?" he asked with curiosity.

"Not really. My mom always drags me out to perform carols at Christmas time, but I'm really out of practice."

"Maybe you could play for me sometime," he said.

"Sure, if you like," I agreed, even though I was pretty rusty. When he smiled, it was absolutely worth it.

I heard my phone ringing and looked at the display to see that Bella was calling.

"Hey, Bella. Are you guys ready to meet up for dinner?" I asked.

"No. There's been a change of plans."

"What's up?"

"We ran into Jessica at the dress shop and she wants to go catch a movie. We're going to grab some fast food or something and catch a ride back with her, if that's ok with you guys."

"Sure. That's fine. Have a good time," I told her. I completely didn't mind getting to keep Jasper to myself for the rest of the evening.

"You guys should try that Italian place on 1st and Lincoln," she suggested. "It's very romantic."

"Yeah, ok, thanks. We might give it a try. Hey, did you guys find dresses?" I asked, trying to be polite.

"Yep, we both did. Jessica too. Mine is Alice approved, so I can relax now. And I don't have to wear heels. Oh, hey!" she added. "If you go to the Italian place, have Jasper bring us back a couple of cannolis. I'm crashing at Alice's tonight."

"Will do. Have a good time," I told her.

"You too, lovebird." She ended the call before I could get out a retort. I rolled my eyes.

"Did you catch that?" I asked Jasper, not sure if he could hear everything we had said.

"Most of it, I think. They're skipping dinner and going to the movies instead?"

"Yeah, that's the gist of it," I answered. "Did you want to go get some dinner with me?" I asked hesitantly, knowing that he probably wasn't going to eat anyway.

"I'd love to take you out to dinner, "Edward," he said sincerely. My insides melted when he looked at me that way.

"Okay, great," I said with a smile. "Bella suggested that Italian place downtown."

"That sounds good to me," he said.

"Do you want to walk there?" I asked. "It's a nice evening and it's not that far." I just wanted to drag out our time together.

"Sure," Jasper agreed.

We didn't talk much on the way to the restaurant, but I didn't mind. I enjoyed being in his company, matching my stride to his, feeling that crazy buzz between us. Our hands occasionally brushed against each other's and I reveled in the sensation. I wanted nothing more than to reach out and grab his hand and hold it while we walked down the street, but I still wasn't ready for that. He'd look over at me and his face held such adoration and love that I thought my heart would jump right out of my chest. How did I get so fucking lucky?

We were seated in a booth in the more private section of the restaurant, away from the storefront windows. The waitress came over to take our drink orders and I noticed her eyeing Jasper appreciatively. I didn't blame her, but I still inwardly bristled at her behavior. Hands off, bitch, he's mine. Jasper looked up at me and winked, as if he could sense my thoughts, bringing a chagrined smile to my face.

I order a Coke and Jasper unsurprisingly ordered coffee. While the waitress was getting our drinks, I looked over the menu and noticed a pasta dish with mushroom ravioli in a white cream sauce. My mind went to dirty dirty places remembering Bella telling me that the taste of cum reminded her of sautéed mushroom. I knew what I was having for dinner.

I ordered with a smirk and Jasper looked at me questioningly, but I just shook my head in response. I decided I would keep those thoughts to myself for the time being. As I predicted, Jasper declined to order any dinner, wrapping his hands around his mug and saying he was fine with the coffee. Even though I was expecting it, my mood shifted and I looked down at the table. I was used to his ways, but I sometimes wondered if he'd ever fully let me in.

"What is it, Edward?" Jasper asked softly.

I didn't want to ruin our evening. Today had been great so far. "It's nothing," I replied.

"I not sure I believe you," he said gently.

I raised my eyes to look at him and my heart clenched at the sad expression on his face.

"I just was wondering if you were ever going to let me in. There's so much about you that I still don't know."

He was quiet for a few minutes and I almost thought he wasn't going to respond. Then he whispered, "I'm afraid."

"What are you afraid of?" I asked, already suspecting the answer.

"I'm afraid if I tell you everything, that if you know what I truly am, you won't love me anymore." He looked like he was in pain.

"That's never going to happen, Jasper," I told him earnestly, reaching out to hold his hand. I didn't care who saw us. "Nothing you tell me could ever make me love you any less. Nothing."

The waitress interrupted us and Jasper pulled his hand away quickly while she placed my meal in front of me. "Can I get you anything else right now?" she asked.

"No thank you," I answered.

"Some more coffee, please," Jasper requested.

"Sure, be right back," she responded.

We didn't talk while we waited for the waitress to return with the coffee. Once she had refilled his cup and left again, I tried once more to reassure him.

"I meant what I said that night, Jasper. I want you to be the first man to ever take me. I want you to make love to me. I'm always going to love you, no matter what. I want it to be you."

His eyes burned into mine. They blazed with emotion. "I can't," he said in a pained voice.

A knot twisted in my gut. I set down my fork. Suddenly I wasn't very hungry. "Why not?" I asked softly, trying to hide the hurt in my voice. I felt a burning behind my eyelids and I struggled to keep my emotions in check. How had this evening gotten so fucked up? Why couldn't I just be patient and keep my fucking mouth shut?

"I don't want to hurt you," he said with anguish. "I could never live with myself if I hurt you."

He was hurting me now, but I knew that's not what he meant. "Jasper, I've told you before, I don't believe you could ever hurt me. You couldn't. It doesn't have to be today, or next week, or even next year. I just need to believe that one day you're going to let me in. That you're going to tell me why you're covered in scars and don't like to be touched or won't eat in front of other people. I need to believe that someday I'm going to truly know you."

He was silent for a long while. I picked at my dinner and tried not to panic and I watched a myriad of emotions play out over his face. God, why was I always pushing things? He was going to fucking run again; I could sense it.

Finally, he breathed out a single, "Okay." His expression was calm, as if he had come to a decision and was at peace with it.

"Okay?" I asked, confused by his unexpected answer.

"Yes, okay," he reiterated. "I can see now that I have no choice."

"What?" I squeaked out, shocked that he felt that way. "No, Jasper," I said frantically. "I'm sorry! That's not at all what I meant." I didn't want him to tell me his secrets because I pressured him into it; I wanted him to want to tell me.

"Shhh, Edward. It's alright," he soothed me. "I know that's not what you meant."

I relaxed a bit. "What do you mean?" I asked cautiously.

"I meant what I said before too. There will never be anyone for me but you. I'm going to love you for all eternity." His eyes were dark and intense and I felt the familiar flips in my stomach at his declaration. "I ache for you Edward. I'm afraid, but I'm starting to realize I could never stay away from you. It's inevitable that you'll… discover things. I will tell you everything. One day soon. I promise."

"You will?" I asked with a smile, still somewhat in disbelief that the evening had turned around so suddenly.

"I will," he affirmed with a steady voice.

My appetite had miraculously reappeared and I speared a ravioli with my fork and popped it into my mouth, fighting the stupid grin that wanted to take over my face. Jasper smiled at me and his expression held such warmth and such love that it completely filled me with happiness. He was so fucking wonderful.

The rest of the meal was heaven. There was a new lightness to Jasper's demeanor, as if once he stopped fighting whatever it was that had been holding him back, he had reached some kind of inner peace. It was as if a switch had been flipped and my beautiful, golden boy now glowed with contentment and happiness.

He flirted outrageously and I found myself laughing and laughing time and again. He certainly could be a charming motherfucker. I could barely believe he was the same tortured, broody man I had known before. Oh, I had no illusions that this breakthrough was an end to all his issues; I absolutely expected emo Jasper to make his reappearance at some point. But for now, I was going to enjoy this new lighthearted man who smiled and laughed and joked and flirted and who made me feel that the world was an amazing place just full of possibilities.

He paid the check and helped me with my jacket and we walked out of the restaurant, our shoulders playfully bumping, eager to make any physical connection that we possibly could. When we stepped out into the cool night air, he looked at me with a smile and said, "Wait, Edward, you've got a little bit of besciamella sauce on your face." He reached out his hand and cupped my cheek, gently running his thumb across the corner of my lower lip. I shifted my head to grab his thumb between my teeth and I playfully bit down on it gently before sucking it into my mouth. God, he tasted delicious. I swirled my tongue around his thumb and his body tensed. The smile faded from his face and was replaced with a look of pure desire. His eyes darkened and a soft growl came from his throat.

"God, how I want you, Edward," he said, his voice filled with passion.

I released his thumb from my mouth, reaching up my hand to twine my fingers into his. I held his hand down at our sides. "Then have me, Jasper. I'm already yours anyway. Come home with me and make love to me," I entreated.

His eyes stared into mine, searching. When he gave a small nod of affirmation, I almost combusted from the blazing desire that pulsed through me. I shut my eyes to savor the joy of this moment and I felt his fingers gently squeezing mine as he placed a tender kiss upon my lips. I opened my eyes to see the same joy shining in his.

As we started walking back to the car I remember Bella's request for dessert. "Oh shit," I laughed coming to a stop. "You're supposed to bring Bella and Alice home some cannolis." Cockblocked by Italian pastries.

He gave a little laugh and rolled his eyes. "Fine, let's go back."

"I've got a better idea," I said. "You go back and get the desserts and I'll go get the car and come pick you up. It will be faster."

He laughed. "I like your way of thinking." He gave me a quick kiss on my lips and said, "See you in a few, my beautiful boy."

I walked rapidly down the block, in a hurry to get back to my gorgeous boyfriend. I couldn't believe everything that had happened tonight. And when we got home, he was going to make love to me. I was anxious and nervous and excited and aroused, and above all, deliriously happy.

I was so lost in my blissful musings that I didn't realize someone was walking behind me. I became aware of voices and was shocked when I made out the words.

"What's your hurry, faggot," a deep voice called out. My blood chilled.

I glanced behind me and saw two men following me. I picked up my pace, trying to calculate if I could outrun them if it came to that.

"Hey, where're you going?" they called out. "We just want to say a friendly hello. You looked pretty friendly back there, pretty boy." They continued to make crude jokes while I walked faster. They sounded drunk.

I heard them break into a run and my adrenaline surged as I reached into my pocket for my keys, sprinting down the block. If I could just make it to the car... As I rounded the corner of the last block, I came to a quick stop. Two more men were waiting for me. Fuck. I said a quick prayer of thanks that Jasper wasn't with me as the men approached and surrounded me. I slipped the keys between my fingers, preparing to use them as a weapon if necessary.

"Why the rush, pretty boy?" one of the men asked.

"It's late," I replied warily. "I'm just trying to get home. I'm not looking for any trouble."

"What are you looking for, faggot? Maybe some cock? You wanna see what a real man feels like?" the biggest man said, grabbing his crotch.

I backed away from him and accidentally bumped into one of the other men.

He shoved me hard from behind. I staggered, almost falling, and dropped my keys in the process. "Watch where you're going, faggot," he said with a sneer. "This little cocksucker tried to come on to me," he said indignantly to his friends. Did you see that?"

"Yeah, I saw it, Dean. Looks like Larry wasn't enough for him. He wants you too."

"Shut the fuck up. I'm not touching some faggot."

As the two men argued, I tried to make a run for it. I wouldn't have my keys, but I was fast and I hoped I could outrun them, especially since they were drunk.

Before I took more than a few steps a leg reached out to trip me. I went flying and fell hard against the ground, jamming my wrist. I groaned. Before I could get up, one of the men walked over to me and kicked me hard in the stomach. My breath rushed out of my lungs and I wrapped my arms around my waist, groaning.

Someone grabbed me by the upper arms and hauled me to my feet, holding me with my back to him. One of the men smacked my face hard and I felt my teeth cut into the inside of my mouth. "Where do you think you're going, faggot?" he asked, hitting the other side of my face even harder. "Larry, here, invited you to party and it's a little fucking rude of you to try and leave without saying goodbye." He punched my face again and again and again then his fist sunk hard into my stomach and as his leg came up to knee me in the groin. I doubled over groaning, as much as I was able while still being held from behind.

The man holding me let go suddenly and flung me forcefully to the ground. He followed his action with a hard kick to my ribs then stomped down hard on my calf. I screamed as I felt the bone break.

"Jesus," the man said in disgust. "What a fucking pussy. There's barely any fight in him. Look at him." He kicked me again in the same leg. I screamed.

"Fucking fairy!" he screamed, kicking me again and again in a blind rage. I lay huddled in a ball trying to protect whatever parts of my body I could.

"Christ, Larry, are you trying to fucking kill him?" one of the men asked. Larry gave one last kick and said, "Fucking cocksucker."

"Let's get out of here," the men grumbled. "His boyfriend might come looking for him."

"Let him come," one of the men said. "We'll teach him a fucking lesson too." I felt the fear shoot through me as I thought of Jasper showing up here. Please God, don't let him find us, I silently prayed.

"Christ. Come the fuck on," the man said impatiently.

"I'm not finished here," the one called Larry protested. "This little faggot needs to find out what a real man feels like." He kicked me viciously once more in the head and I lay on the edge of consciousness as I felt his hands at my waist trying to tug my pants down.

I felt the cold air against my exposed skin and was screaming "No, no, no, please God no," inside my head, but no sound came out.

Suddenly, I heard the men's agitated voices and the sound of feet running. I slowly opened my eyes and saw the most glorious sight I had ever seen. Jasper was there, his golden curls around his head like a leonine halo. He roared ferociously as one of the men threw a punch at him. He grabbed the arm mid swing and snapped it with his bare hand, flinging the man aside. The man screamed as he landed hard on his ass and backed away in fear, cradling his useless limb. When he reached his feet, he took off running, following the other two men who had already fled. Then without hesitation Jasper took a flying leap at Larry, as graceful and powerful as a lion, and with a roar of fury grabbed him around the neck, twisting his head with one savage jerk, then throwing his limp, lifeless form to the ground. He stood there, my deadly angel, and threw his head back once more, roaring a deafening sound of rage and anguish. He was otherworldly—powerful, dangerous, lethal, and feral. My beautiful golden boy.

And then he was kneeling over me, my darling Jasper, softly comforting me. Apologizing, reassuring me, promising me that everything was going to be all right. My heart surged with love and gratitude and I whispered, as I faded into unconsciousness, "I know it will. You're here now."

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone reading and reviewing, and alerting and favoriting. Special thanks to OnTheTurningAway for holding my hand and fixing my shit and to my fabulous Twilighted(dot)net validation beta, Beautiful_Distraction. Another big thank you to those of you who have pimped my story out on your blogs. I appreciate it!

As you are probably aware, I love the vamps! There's a new awards site dedicated specifically to our blood loving friends. Visit The Vampies and nominate your favorite vamp fics through June 27th: http:/twificpics(dot)com/vampawards/

If you're interested in reading the full texts of the title poems or the poems referenced in the story, you can find them on my blog. If you want to talk about the story, come visit the thread on Twilighted. I copied the teasers I put on various forums this month on the thead, and I'll try to remember to do that in the future as well (links on my Profile).