Andy considered his options with Brenda closely. Ever since he'd helped care for her after her attack, he knew one thing for sure. This wasn't just a simple relationship with her. He realized he wanted something more, whether she thought it was possible or not. He wanted to ask her to marry him, but deep down, he felt she would turn him down. It was hard enough hiding their existing relationship, let alone hiding a marriage. He was torn. He'd promised her that no one would have to know about the two of them, and here he was, wanting to break that wide open. He did not know what to do.
He watched her closely through her windows one day, thinking about how to broach the subject. Would she flip out, walk away? Would she be receptive to the idea? Maybe they could compromise, at least move in together. But he did not want to force her into anything. He'd heard how Fritz had basically maneuvered his way into everything in her life, and did not want her to feel that way about him. At the same time, he didn't want her thinking he was a doormat, doing whatever she wanted. For this to keep working, they had to be equals.
Provenza brought him out of his revery, coming over to talk to him. "You should be more careful how you stare at her. Your secret will get out."
Flynn's eyes darted down to his desk, breaking his train of thought. "You're right, I know. I can't help it."
"Well, you should. People are starting to notice things. I think Gabriel is catching on. You do know he's finally caught on to the fact that he really isn't her favorite anymore. Eventually you two are going to have to come clean, at least with the team." Provenza kept his voice low.
"Let's go get a coffee. I really don't want to talk about this in here." Flynn stood up, taking his jacket off the back of his chair.
Provenza followed him to the break room, concerned for his friend and his boss. Secrets always had a way of spilling out, and the way things were between the Chief and Flynn was going to come out, sooner or later. He had to admit, the two of them had kept things very quiet, and as far as he knew, they kept their personal life out of the office. He'd been hard-pressed to find anyway they'd been different before he knew for sure. The only time he'd really known that something was starting to happen between the two of them was when they went to that ballgame. It was so obvious, the way Flynn had fallen all over her. But at work, they kept things in check. He'd give the two of them credit for that.
After they poured their cups of coffee, they settled in at the table in the break room. They had the place to themselves, and with the door closed, Flynn thought he could at least talk freely. He hated to admit it, but he needed someone to talk to about her.
"It's hard, Provenza. We've worked to keep this quiet, it's the way she wanted things. I'm at the point where I want something a little more." Flynn admitted.
Provenza sat there, stunned. Was Flynn thinking what he thought he was thinking? Had he not taught him anything in the last few years, that commitment of that type was to be avoided?
"You aren't thinking of asking her to marry you, are you? Are you out of your mind?" Provenza blustered.
"I'm not out of my mind, and yes, I'm thinking of asking her. I only know that being with her has made me happier than I have been in years. And I don't want to lose her. If it's a problem with the higher ups, I'll quit the Major Crimes Unit, go back to robbery/homicide. I just know that I'm ready. But, given her history with the FBI guy, I think she'll freak out. Change is not her strong suit, and she's happy with things the way they are. I don't know what to do." Flynn looked defeated. Brenda Leigh Johnson had definitely thrown him for a loop, and Provenza softened his attitude.
"Look, Andy, all you can do is ask. If she turns you down, it will be okay. She loves you, she just might not be ready to take it an extra step yet."
"I'm ready, though, Provenza. And you know how I feel about marriage. And given my past, it's not like I'm that great at it. But for her, I'd do anything."
"You've got it bad, Flynn, real bad. Have I taught you nothing over the years?"
"Not really, Provenza. It's not like you follow your own rules. Do you remember all the suits and ties you bought?" Flynn cracked a smile.
"I looked really dapper. I grew out of that phase." Provenza smiled back. "Look, whatever you do, don't give up on her. You, of all people, know that she isn't good with change. If she turns you down, sit back and regroup, but don't let her go. I can't believe I'm saying this, but you two are good for each other. You aren't nearly as hard to put up with now that you're getting laid regularly."
"I should hit you for that, Provenza." Flynn tried to keep a straight face, but burst out laughing.
"See, what did I tell you? The old Flynn would have smacked me!" Provenza laughed.
Nothing much was solved by their discussion, but Andy did feel tremendously better after having talked it out with Provenza. He resolved that he'd bring this up to Brenda after work tonight, and the two finished their coffee and got back to the squad room.
Andy picked up a file and walked to her office. He just wanted to know what she wanted for dinner tonight, he'd stop by and pick something up. She smiled at him when he entered her office.
"What's up, Lieutenant? To what do I owe this visit to?"
"Well, Chief, this is my subtle way of looking like I'm actually working by bringing a file with me, but in reality, I'm asking my girlfriend what she wants for dinner tonight, so I can pick it up on my way to her place." Flynn flipped open the file, setting it down on the desk in front of her. Brenda went along with it, pretending to read what was inside, very aware of Andy standing next to her, leaning over too.
"Well, Lieutenant, how about pizza? You can get some of that vegetarian stuff you're so fond of and me, a pepperoni, ham and pineapple one. What do you think?" She smiled up at him.
"It sounds terrific, Chief. When it's time to leave, I'll phone Mario's and order it. I shouldn't be too far behind you." Flynn resisted the urge to touch her in any way possible.
"So, is that everything, Lt.?"
"Yes, ma'am. Just wanted an excuse to come talk to you." Flynn said.
"It's always nice when you do that. Are we being too obvious?" Brenda felt a little uneasy, not liking to give anything away in the office.
"Provenza seems to think so. He thinks Gabriel is catching on. Apparently he's realized that he's not quite your favorite anymore."
"Who says? I mean, he may not be my boyfriend, but I certainly still appreciate everything he does!" Brenda was rattled.
Andy didn't know whether to be offended or not. He did like to think that he'd become her favorite, but Brenda was trying so hard not to be different, that maybe she did believe that Gabriel was still her favorite. He decided to let it go, changing the subject.
"Listen, I'm going to go finish up the paperwork on the last case, and it will soon be time to go. I'll catch you later." Andy turned and went out the door.
Brenda stared after him, afraid she'd hurt his feelings. Her mouth always did get her into trouble, she thought to herself. She watched him settle down at his desk, and she surveyed the squad room. Was it obvious to them all about Flynn and her? Was she fooling herself into thinking that a bunch of men who were some of the best detectives she'd worked with didn't know that anything was going on? She didn't know what to think.
Having finished her paperwork, she got up to leave, throwing some files into her bag and taking the back way out of the office. She had the beginnings of a headache, and not sure why. Work had been uneventful in the month since she'd returned to work, things moving smoothly, cases being cleared. Andy and her were growing closer, especially since her assault. She was content for the first time in a long time.
That should have told her that something was coming that was going to unsettle everything she'd managed to achieve in the time since Fritz had left her. Pulling up in front of her house, she wondered why she'd never moved from it. She began thinking maybe it was time to find a new place, put the past behind her for good. She still missed her little house that she'd briefly called her own, and thought maybe she should look for a new home to buy. She made a mental note to begin to look through some housing listings. Letting herself into her apartment, she was shocked to see Fritz sitting on her couch.
"Fritz, what are you doing here?" Surprise and frustration was evident in her voice. She hoped he hadn't been nosing, discovering anything about her and Andy.
"It's good to see you too, Brenda." Fritz deadpanned.
"Seriously, Fritz, what are you doing here? How did you get in here?" Brenda didn't like her ex being able to walk into her place so easily.
"I still have the key, I forgot to give it to you when I left. And I'm here because I need to talk to you." Fritz explained.
Brenda looked at him, troubled. What could he possibly have to talk about now? They'd been divorced for three months now, been separated for over a year, now he wanted to talk? "What's there to talk about?"
"Brenda, would you sit down? I have something I have to say to you." Fritz looked up at her, smiling.
Brenda put down her purse and shrugged off her trench coat. She really hoped he'd be gone by the time Andy got here. It would be better if the two of them weren't in the same room together. She sat down on the couch beside him.
Fritz took her hands in his, looking at her in all seriousness. "Brenda, I think I may have acted too hastily last year. I miss you, I miss this life. I just wanted to know, is there any hope for us?"
Brenda was stunned, to say the least. Take him back? Now? Was he out of his mind? And what happened to Miss FBI agent, the one who wanted the same things as he did. She didn't say anything.
"Say something, anything, Brenda." Fritz wished he could take back the way he'd walked out in anger last year.
"Fritz, I can't. I just can't. I don't love you anymore. I've moved on." Brenda finally found her voice.
"Come on, Brenda, give me a chance here. I was wrong, I admit it. I know you must still feel something for me." Fritz pleaded.
"I thought you had someone new. That you'd moved on from me way before I moved on from you." Brenda questioned him.
"Well, technically, we're still together. But things are kind of rough right now, and I've realized she isn't you. I still love you, Brenda."
Brenda stood up, needing to get away from him. Why did he have to come here, she didn't want him here. Her feelings were clear, she didn't love him anymore. "I'm sorry, Fritz, I can't do this. Besides, I thought she was perfect, wanting children just like you did."
Apparently that hit a sore spot. Fritz looked extremely uncomfortable when that was brought up. "We had a pregnancy scare a couple of months ago. She's been kind of freaked out ever since, and we hit a rough patch. She isn't sure what she wants anymore."
"So you come back to me, expecting me to welcome you back with open arms?" Brenda felt anger starting to build.
The front door opened, Andy coming in with the pizza. Shock registered on his face, seeing Fritz sitting on the couch, Brenda looking extremely agitated. Whatever was going on wasn't good, he could see that much. Recovering from the surprise of seeing his girlfriend's ex sitting on the couch, he came up with an excuse to be there.
"You got that file, Chief? Are we still going to go over it? I can come back later, if you want." Andy silently pleaded for her to say he could stay.
"Yes, Lt., the files in my bag. Thanks so much for bringing pizza. I didn't expect guests, so I hope there is enough to go around." Brenda looked blankly at him.
Andy was worried. Brenda looked pale and he didn't know what to do. He felt the urge to punch Fritz, even though he didn't know the reason why yet. Andy felt his plans to talk to Brenda beginning to evaporate, and he grew frustrated. He took the pizza to the dining room table, aware that Fritz was watching him with curiosity. Leaving the pizza on the table, he went to the kitchen for plates. It killed him to have to pull three out of the cupboard.
Entering the dining room once again, he set the plates down and opened up the pizza boxes. Brenda came in, picking up a plate and taking a slice, but her appetite had dwindled. Fritz came in and helped himself also. They all sat down to eat, the silence thick between the three of them. Andy ate hurriedly, intending to clear out, let the two talk about whatever. He didn't want to, but would give Brenda her space.
They finished up in record time, and Andy closed up the pizza boxes. He stood up to go.
"Listen, Chief, I can come by another time. It looks like you're busy." Andy looked at her with concern.
Fritz had made himself scarce, wanting Flynn to be gone. It was always work with Brenda, it apparently even followed her home now. Brenda walked with Andy to the door, to see him out and have a chance to talk a bit with him.
"Look, Andy, I'll phone you later. I'll let him have his say, but I'm going to try and get him out of here as soon as I can." Brenda said once they were safely outside the front door.
Andy stood closely to her, wanting to kiss her, afraid that Fritz was watching from the inside.
"I don't want to go, you know that? You want me here, just say the word, I'll be right back."
Brenda couldn't look him in the eye. She hadn't done anything wrong, but felt like she had. How was she going to tell him that Fritz had come back, wanting her back? She had a feeling this wasn't going to end well, no matter how she looked at it. Throwing caution to the wind, she reached out and hugged Andy, before kissing him gently on the lips.
"I'll talk to you later, I will."
"You better. I don't like leaving you with him." Andy was worried.
"I'll be fine. And I'll talk to you later. I swear." Brenda promised.
Reluctantly, Andy departed from her place, fearing the worst, now that Fritz was back. Why had Brenda looked the way she did? What was he doing back? Fritz had thrown everything away and he'd been the one to help Brenda to pick up the pieces and put her life back together. Andy felt scared that he was going to lose her, even though he had nothing to base it on. He felt the same way as when she'd been injured and in the hospital. The unknown caused a fear in him that he hadn't known he was capable of, and he felt more helpless than he'd ever been.