AN: Disclaimed(: Thanks to everyone who reviewed, you guys keep me going:) Disclaimed.
She lifted her head, feeling guiltier that she left tear stains on Connor's hospital sheets. She looked around the all-white room. She had no distinct memory from last night, from how she got to the hospital to how they got their own room. The only sound that filled the room was the deadly beeping of the machines that supported Connor. She sighed and stroked his hair. Last night, while sitting in the waiting room, anticipating Connor's results, she came to discern that she had no feelings for Connor and none for Chris, either. She was sure of that. She wasn't even sure if she had any feelings for Chris in the beginning. Maybe it was all a warm-up, something to keep her distracted before Derrick could come back into her life.
She smiled to herself. Derrick. She loved his name. Derrick. She could say it over and over again. Derrick Harrington. Derrick Harrington. Derrick. Derrick and Massie. Massie and Derrick. She smiled and her eyes were drawn to her hand; something was stuck to it-a yellow Post-It. She pulled it off and the rushed words:
Sorry I left; I didn't want to. I just need to go and do a couple of things; I'll be back. Stay safe. And text me at 555-3462 if you get lonely. :) Derrick
Massie felt the butterflies thrum against her stomach. She pulled her phone out from her pocket and thumbed the number into her contacts. Before putting her phone away, a thought struck her: her phone number was 555-6234 and Derrick's was 555-3462.
62 made the initials MB while 34 made DH. Her jaw dropped and her face reassembled itself into an idiotic grin. Massie grew up loving Disney princesses, and here she was, feeling as if she was one. She sighed contentedly and fell back into her chair. She looked over at Connor whose eyes were shut, one of them colored with a black eye. Inside, her stomach churned. How could she do this to Connor? Why would she? Only someone so heartless would break up with someone right after they were nearly beaten to their death.
She sighed to herself. But if she stayed with Connor knowing that she liked Derrick, then...
What if you don't really like Derrick, Massie? What if you just like him because he saved Connor? So you might not really like Connor or Chris, but how do you really know you like Derrick? Because your phone numbers are almost the same?
What? I don't know. And I'm sure that I like Derrick because I missed him. I missed it when he would pull on my hair. And fine, I admit that maybe I'm going just a little too fast with everything. But to me, it makes sense. I mean, I like Derrick; how he treats everyone and how he's so friendly, his hair and his goofy smile and his obnoxious laughter. I like it all.
Yeah, but what if it's just lust? What if you just want to kiss Derrick, see how it's like?
No. No. No. Wait a minute, weren't you the one who wanted me to end up with Derrick in the first place?
No, I'm not. I'm just here to make sense out of everything. Concsience, Massie, I'm your conscience, I'm not God. I'm just trying to make sense of everything here. I mean, Derrick after Connor? Feel bad for the kid. He seems to really like you.
But I really like Derrick!
Are you sure?
100%
Really?
Yes.
Okay. He's coming right now.
"Massie, you're awake?" came his deep voice, the voice Massie came to adore. She turned around and saw him standing, having changed into a gray long-sleeved shirt and jeans. She nodded, staring at him in awe. He came forward and dragged a seat from the corner, the chair not making a sound. He sat next to her and watched her every response. "So," he continued, "how long have you been awake?"
Massie shrugged. "Just a couple of minutes." Long enough to conclude that I think you're amazing. Date me, freak, just freaking date me already!
Derrick nodded, his eyes catching a glimpse of Connor. His nose scrunched up-Massie swooned internally-and he looked at her. Even if her mascara was running and her hair was shiny from the ack of showering, she still looked radiant. He half-smiled and scratched his neck. "Are you hungry?" he asked, his eyes staring at the tray of untouched hospital food. He nodded at it and made a face. "Not so good, right? Let's go out to eat."
Massie's eyes brightened, but she instantly slumped when she remembered Connor. She shook her head and mumbled, "Can't."
Derrick's face turned into indifference. "But you want to...?"
Massie nodded. "Badly. I'm famished and I'd do anything for hashed browns from McDonald's." She turned red and looked up at him. "But I can do with a salad." Gah, liar, liar, you're such a big, fat liar. You hate salads. You hate, hate, hate salads.
Derrick chuckled and nodded skeptically. "Uh-huh. Then I'll go over to McDonald's and get myself some hashed browns and then go to a nearby mini mart to get you some lettuce and tomatoes, okay?" He stood up and turned to leave before Massie grabbed a fistful of his shirt.
"Or," she stretched, holding onto him, "you can get both of us hashed browns and even French fries and maybe a Starbucks latte?" She smiled and added, "Ooh, ooh, and something with chocolate and whipped cream, yes, I need that."
Derrick chuckled and gently grabbed her wrist before letting it go. "Fine, fine, Miss I-like-salads. Jeez, first you lie to me and next you want me to buy you all this crap? When you get fat, do not come running to me." He chuckled and shook his head. "I'll be back; text me."
Massie chuckled and called, "Stalk you." She was delighted to hear his booming laughter from the hallway echo into the room. She smiled and settled into the chair, leaned her head back and closed her eyes.
"Mass?" a raspy voice croaked.
Her eyelids shot open and her back erected. She leaned forward and grabbed Connor's hand. "Connor? Sweetie, are you okay?"
A grumble erupted from him, and then a forced, "Go after him."
_whereitallbegins_
Massie ran a hand through her damp hair as she watched Derrick feed Bean a dog treat. After being at the hospital for almost twenty-four hours, counting the time they arrived last night, the doctor suggested they go home and leave Connor into the hosital's hands. Massie invited Derrick over, sure that her parents weren't home. Proving herself wrong, her parents were home, sitting on the living room couch, watching Finding Nemo.
Derrick chuckled and threw Bean another bone-shaped dog treat. Bean yelped and jumped into the air, catching it in her mouth. She began gnawing at it, running around in circles just to do so. "I've always wanted a dog," he said.
Massie nodded. "Take Bean. She's a crazy dog. You can be sure that you'll never be late to school with her around." They shared a laugh and Massie again felt the butterflies in her stomach. After Connor had explained what he meant, how he knew that Massie had a thing for Derrick and Derrick likewise, he had told her that she needed that. That he would never be able to give her that. And when Massie asked what Connor could never give her, Derrick came back into the hospital room. She never did find out what it was.
"So," Massie started, picking at her shoelaces, "are you still with Claire?"
Derrick looked up at her and then back to Bean. He shrugged to himself. "I'm not sure. I don't think I was ever really with her to begin with. I mean, I didn't think we'd last anyway. She was too... clean." He smirked and looked up at her. "I like them to be just right, you know?" His eyes twinkled with the shine of mischief, something Massie turned red at.
She again went back to picking at her Converse shoelaces. "Yeah, yeah, I get what you mean."
Derrick nodded and looked around. He sat back and rested there, Bean sniffing around him. "Whatever did happen to you and Chris? Claire told me that you guys broke up because of him?"
Massie looked at him with an eyebrow arched. "Weren't you there when I explained it? You were flirting with me and everything." She smirked and pull out a weed of grass.
Derrick nodded in remembrance. "Yeah. And I'm a hot jerk. And you smell really nice." He cleared his throat awkwardly and scratched his chin. "But anyway, that Chris guy... He's stupid for letting you go. He was lucky enough to have you." He shook his head in disgust and ran a hand through his hair.
Massie shrugged lazily and kept her chin in her palm. "Yeah, well, I think it was for the better anyway. I don't think we would've lasted, either."
Derrick looked at her, "Oh?"
"Yeah. I mean, he was great and all, but he just never had the time for me, y'know? Like, he'd rather make me watch him play soccer. And I guess it was nice and all... But still. I wanted to be with him, not be there for him." She mad a face and restarted. "I mean-"
"I get what you mean," Derrick interrupted. "Same thing with this girl that I dated back in Minnesota. She just wanted me to watch her perform. She danced ballet. And truthfully, I have no taste for ballerinas." He laughed under his breath and randomly pulled out pieces of grass. He cleared his throat and looked up at her. "I missed you, you know that?"
Massie didn't know why she did it. But she went over to him and dramatically clung onto his neck, sobbing into his chest. Derrick, being Derrick, held onto her, rocking her back and forth and trying to calm her down.
"-And everything's just not going the way I wanted it to! I mean, Chris was an amazing boyfriend, but he just isn't what I'm looking for! And that's another thing; I expect so much out of life. It's so unfair because as a kid, I always got my way, it was always what I wanted that mattered. And now I have to work for pretty much everything and I just hate... I just hate life in general; I hate how everyone treats me and I hate how I don't even know why the hell I'm talking about this. I don't even know where to start! Everyone thinks that I'm fine, but no one knows what's overwhelming me. I'm tired of it all. I'm tired of having people walk all over me and over Claire. I just wish that Chris never did what he did and that you never came back and that Claire and you never dated because she shouldn't have you. She's not supposed to. And I just wish that everyone would stop being so... there. I just need my own space. I need to ddeal with myself for a couple of seconds. Give me time to breathe and whatever."
Derrick rubbed her back soothingly, knowing exactly how she felt. He grew tired of the same things, and personally, it was hard to get over them. He hugged her tighter and whispered into her hair, "I'm sorry you feel that way. But you'll get over it. You'll get over it all Massie because I believe in you. And that may sound cliche, but it's cliche for a reason. I'm not bullshitting you, 'kay? I care about you Massie, I always have."
"What the hell is this?" a high-pitched shriek came.
Derrick looked up and Massie instantly stopped crying. She dried her face with her hands and shuffled away from Derrick.
Claire stepped out from the darkness that engulfed her. Her face was streaked with tears flushed. She shooked her head, her sleek straight hair whirling around her. She stomped up to Derrick who had enough time to scramble up. He walked up to Claire who was violently tremoring, something that occured to her when she was out-of-the-field angry. "Massie and Derrick?" she screeched. Her fists were balled up and she pointed a long, slender finger towards Massie.
"I never want to see you again!" she yelled.
Bean whimpered and nuzzled her nose into the small of Massie's back. Massie took Bean into her lap and pushed herself back, afraid of Claire. She looked different, meaner. She looked like a witch. "Claire," she murmured.
"No!" Claire yelled again, throwing her arm in the air. "I hate you, Massie Block. I never, ever, never, ever want to be your friend because you're a backstabbing bitch who steals girl's boyfriends. You're a bitch, Massie, you're a fucking bitch."
Derrick grabbed Claire's flailing arms and brought them down to her sides. "Shut. Up. Claire," he rumbled angrily. He shook his head and tightened his grip around Claire's wrist. "Massie did nothing to deserve what you're saying. She's not a bitch. And we were never really together in the first place anyway!"
Claire's face transformed from anger to hurt. Her eyes welled up with tears and she broke away from Derrick's grasp. "Fine," she spat, her voice lowering, "you can have each other. You two deserve each other anyway." She shook her head and ran away in defeat.
"Claire, wait!" Massie called, scrambling to get up. Derrick caught her before she could leave and held onto her.
"Mass, no," he mumbled.
She shook her head, tears flying, spotting Derrick's shirt, hitting him with so much power that even he had to tear up a bit. "But she's my best friend, Derrick! I can't leave her! I need her! Claire, wait!" she yelled again, thrusting herself against Derrick, attempting to push him down. Derrick, of course, being the stronger of the two, held onto her even tighter. After several futile attempts of trying to get away from Derrick, she fell into him and sobbed heavily again.
A light from the house broke through the darkness that surrounded Massie and Derrick. It started as a slim light of yellow and then slowly began to brighten the whole backyard. "Derrick, Massie, is everything alright out there?" Mr. Block called.
"Uh, yeah," Derrick called out, hating himself even more for lying. "Uh, Mr. Block, we're just telling each other how much we missed each other."
Mr. Block's chuckle echoed to Derrick's ear. He closed the door and Derrick hugged Massie tighter to his body, settling himself down onto the ground.
Maybe she's right, he thought to himself ruefully, Maybe it'd be best if I had never come back at all.
AN: And BAM!
Review?
ericka:)