Sakura sat in a corridor of the hospital, just outside Naruto's room. She wasn't crying anymore, although the effort of stopping had cost her a lot; she'd seen Naruto stirring, though, and she couldn't let him see her cry. He'd fought so hard for her, and been hurt so badly. To show him her disappointment would not simply have been petty, it'd have been genuinely cruel. She'd done far too much of that to him already.
But as he woke, she realised she couldn't look at him, either. For the first few moments it had been fine, but then he'd turned those big blue eyes on her, so violently heart-broken she couldn't even speak.
"I'm sorry, Sakura," he'd muttered, his voice broken. "I... I couldn't stop him."
"It's alright," she'd whispered back, clutching his hand, tears beaten back. "You tried. I know how hard you fought, Naruto. You did everything you could."
"Then why is he still gone?" he'd demanded, and neither of them had been sure if he was asking her or himself.
She'd gone outside a few minutes later. She couldn't help him now, and he couldn't help her. They'd lost Sasuke, and in so doing they'd started to lose their grip on each other, too.
So wrapped up in her thoughts was she that she didn't hear Tsunade sit down next to her, and didn't even notice her Hokage until she started to speak.
"Hurts, doesn't it," said Tsunade, her voice blunt but not unkind. Sakura felt her throat tighten again, the tears rising like gorge in her throat. She couldn't speak, but she nodded, staring down at her knees. Tsunade rested a hand on her shoulder, gently, and then pulled her roughly into a one armed hug.
"It'll keep hurting, too," she said, quietly. "I'm sorry about that, Sakura. I wish I could tell you the pain goes away, eventually, but... it doesn't. It still hurts, even years later."
Sakura quaked against her, for a moment, before she managed to draw her voice up out of the well of misery in her gullet. "Why... why did Orochimaru go?" she managed to ask. It hadn't been what she was going to say, but to talk about Sasuke right now, even with Tsunade, would break her.
For a long moment, her comforter didn't speak. "I've been asking myself that question for a very long time now," she said, finally. "I stay up some nights, wondering about it. And for a while, it hurt to think about. It hurt so much I thought it'd drive me mad, but I couldn't pull myself away from it. It was like a grain of sand in my head, driving me mad by inches.
"It almost tore me apart. It would have, too, if I hadn't convinced myself that I didn't care. I tried to pretend I hated him."
"Did it work?" Sakura asked. She didn't feel the tears welling up, now. They were still there, but she'd a modicum of control.
"Not really. It was denial, Sakura, pure and simple. What changed things was quite simple. I realised something. Whatever drove Orochimaru off wasn't me. It wasn't Jiraiya, either, for all I'd blamed him. What sent him down that road was him, plain and simple, and torturing myself over it wasn't going to fix anything. It hurt, to realise that; it still does. But I could deal with that kind of hurt. I could carry on around it."
Sakura lay still against Tsunade's breast. "Before... before Sasuke left," she began, quietly, "I saw him. I... I asked him not to go. Begged him. And when... when I thought he was going to go anyway, I said I'd go with him. I even told him I loved him." She was amazed by how steady her voice was. "He still left."
Tsunade squeezed her gently.
"I did the same with Orochimaru," she said. "Although I think I cursed a lot more then I suspect you did."
Sakura gave a half-laugh.
"He may have left anyway, Sakura," said Tsunade, gently. "But it's worth remembering that, whatever his reasons, it wasn't your fault. I know I told myself that if I'd been better, or stronger, or even loved him that little bit more, I could have kept him here. But it wasn't true. He left because of him. Not you."
After a moment, Sakura nodded. They sat like that for a while, before they drew apart again.
Tsunade gave her a look that Sakura couldn't read. "May I ask you a question?"
XXXXX
Jiraiya let himself into Naruto's room through the window. He'd had to wait for his student's team mate to leave first; this was a private conversation, and he didn't want to force her out to have it.
Naruto didn't seem surprised to see him, though.
"She hates me," he said, baldly.
"No, she doesn't. She's hurting, and so are you. That kind of pain doesn't mix well with others." Jiraiya didn't sugarcoat it. He knew Naruto well enough to know that trying to soften the blow wouldn't help matters.
"Well, she should," Naruto half-snarled. "Sasuke's gone. And it's my fault. If I'd just-"
"What? Fought harder? I've already seen what you two did to the valley of the end, kid. If you'd fought any harder there wouldn't be anything left- of you or Sasuke. You did what you could, which was far more then anyone had any right to ask of you."
Naruto looked at him. Through the exhaustion that shrouded his face, Jiraiya could see the marks of rage and misery. He sighed, and pulled up a chair next to his apprentice.
"I know this... really isn't going to help," he began, cursing himself for his awkwardness, "but this isn't your fault. I know you think it is. I know you're probably aching for someone to blame. But you aren't helping anything by doing that. It's... it's sound and fury, kid. Just sound and fury."
"Jiraiya... I let him go."
Jiraiya looked at his student's face again. It was like looking across time and space, to the day he'd lain in a bed just like this when Orochimaru had gone. For a moment, he felt the rage he'd vented at Tsunade on the rooftop building again, but he squashed it swiftly. This was not the time.
"Did you?"
"I said... I said if he beat me, I'd let him go. I... I broke my promise."
Jiraiya sighed, quietly. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"You sure? Because it sounds to me like you just... extended it."
Naruto looked up, brow furrowed.
"What?"
"Well... is there an expiry date on that promise of yours?"
XXXXX
Orochimaru's throne room, Sasuke reflected, was oddly reminiscent of the Hokage's office back in Konoha. He wondered, briefly, if all Kages went to the same designer for their headquarters. Perhaps it was about the prestige.
Orochimaru had sat in a large and heavy throne, carved like a hooded cobra, his legs draped over one arm and his head supported on his hand, elbow perched on the other. He grinned at Sasuke grotesquely- although he probably thought it was welcoming. Sasuke watched him rise up, moving with a disturbing, fluid grace, and managed not to tense.
"Sasuke-Kun," he breezed. "So kind of you to come. I hope the trip wasn't stressful?"
He thinks you're blank. Cold. So show him what he expects to see.
"Something like that," replied Sasuke, his tone kept carefully even. This was probably the easiest part; he was playing to type, here.
"No fusses, then? I heard that odd little team-mate of yours caused quite a fuss."
Sasuke felt fear grip him for the briefest moment. That had all the hallmarks of a suspicious mind latching onto his cover. Orochimaru was supposed to have bought that already, damn it! How was he supposed to-
He forced himself to relax. He hadn't shown anything outwardly- not yet, at least- and Orochimaru was looking at him amusedly. He doesn't suspect anything. It's just a game to him, that's all.
"Nothing I couldn't handle."
Orochimaru laughed again, longer this time. "Of course it wasn't! Oh, Sasuke. It's a joy talking to you. It's like talking to myself when I left that disgusting little village. You know, I think you and I are going to be great friends."
Sasuke looked at the creature in front of him, not quite human, far from sane, and the key to all the power and strength he needed. He considered why he was here. His village. His clan. That little seed of vengeance in him that hungered for his brother's blood.
And looked at Orochimaru's eyes.
And forced himself to nod.
"Oh good! Then I suppose, there's only one thing to ask!"
XXXXX
In a hospital in Leaf, and a throne room in Sound, six people had three conversations, and they all went the same way.
"You need me, you know," said the elder. The words were not the same, but the intent was. "You need what I know. What I can teach you."
The younger looked back at them. They considered their desires; one for revenge, one for a brother, and one for the pain to go away. They looked at the elder, considered, and then nodded. "Yes," they said. "I know."
"And you know that I may have to ask a great deal of you."
"Yes."
"Then you know what I'm going to ask?"
In the corridor, Sakura nodded wordlessly.
In the hospital bed, Naruto shrugged.
In the throne room, Sasuke twitched a smile.
"Good. But I'm going to ask anyway."
The moments ticked by.
"Would you like to be my student?"
The younger did not smile. There was nothing to smile about.
They just answered, in voices deadened by pain and need.
"Yes, master. I would."
XXXXX
Well, it seems I've another apology to make for how long this one took. For what it's worth, the next one should be much quicker. The reason it took so long to write this is because for the past few weeks I've been trying to figure out what I actually wanted to do with this fic. My original plan called for a big happy ending where Danzo got put on trial for his crimes and then everything was hunky dory, but I've come to realise that, on further consideration, that is a monumentally dumb idea. So for a long while Infiltrator's story was looking very, very bleak.
But then two important things happened. I was struck by a bolt of inspiration on how to carry on the story, as well as a rather good end destination, and I started listening to the album "The City That Sleeps" by A Silent Film while walking home from rehearsals one day. And all of a sudden, everything came together in my head. So yeah- I know where I'm going now. Let's see how it plays out, shall we?
On a few other notes, I'd like to apologise about the lack of line breaks a while back. That was not intentional, I promise! apparently got rather stroppy with me, and made all my little centred dashes vanish. But it's okay! I've remedied the problem like I do everything else; blatantly steal from someone else who knows what they're doing. In this case, I nicked Nugar's method of line breaks, so thank you Nugar.
Someone mentioned a flaw in the plot a while ago; specifically, they mentioned Sasuke using Chidori at the end of his duel with Naruto. They pointed out how the Chidori is a killing move, and it kind of undermines Sasuke's earnest goodwill from the reader when he tries to murder his best friend. And that's a good point! I have two responses for this, though, so here goes. First one is the in-story explanation. At that point, both Sasuke and Naruto had gone pretty all out; neither one of them was holding back by any stretch of the imagination. Plus, Naruto had just used Rasengan on Sasuke, another killing move. Sasuke did have to retaliate on at least an even par with Naruto, or he was going to get his ass handed to him. Besides, people have survived Chidori in the past; I don't think it's assuming much for Sasuke to hope/assume Naruto wouldn't be killed by being on the receiving end of it.
The other reason was equal parts adherence to the source material- I wanted to try and keep the Valley of the End segment as close to the original as possible, because I still feel that's one of the highlights of the series so far and a HELL of a climax to it's arc and to the pre-timeskip period of the show- and artistic symmetry. Throughout the series, Chidori and Rasengan have been presented as being equal and opposite of each other. They serve to show the symmetry and similarities between Naruto and Sasuke. Thus, them using them against each other is a lot more artistically satisfying then Naruto throwing a shuriken and Sasuke a Senbon, or something. It just... works better, man.
Anyway, yeah. That's part five. Thanks for sticking with it, guys. Keep on truckin'.