Nursing the drink that sat perpetually in his hand, the Illusive man sat and quietly addressed the many holographic monitors that surrounded his chair. Many of them were filled with varying charts, operational reports, and raw intelligence that brought life into the massive heart of Cerberus.

The whole room was the perfect model calm, an almost beautiful serenity as the massive star shone through the window. Nothing could break this visage, not even the voice of his personal secretary as it floated in through the speakers.

"Sir, you have an incoming QE transmission from the Normandy."

The Illusive man lit a cigarette and took a long drag. Unexpected calls from the Normandy usually only meant one thing; that something bad, or something very unexpected had happened, and now they require some intervention from Cerberus. "Put it through, Hellen."

The ghostly visage of his Miranda Lawson materialized before him, and as always she stood tall and beautiful. But today, he noted, she had a look of grim resolve.

"Miranda, I trust everything is going well with your mission?" he asked, knowing the answer. Not that he could really blame her. Since resurrecting the commander, the man had proved to be… troublesome, to say the least.

And predictably, Miranda wasn't able to completely hide the shame in having to admit a problem.

"Not so well, I'm afraid. Commander Shepard has been killed in action… again."

The Illusive man sighed, and began to take a long pull from his glass. Miranda opened her mouth to speak but was cut off when the Illusive man put up a single finger, indicating her to wait.

Miranda could only wait in the uncomfortable silence that followed, as the the head of Cerberus downed his drink, and poured himself another. This time the glass was filled to the brim.

He had a feeling that he was going to need it…

"Did the Commander die having sex with that Ardat-Yakshi again?" he asked point blank. "Because if he did, then I want her removed from the ship immediately."

"Morinth? No no no, the Commander has assured us that he has learned his lesson from that, and now knows that having sex with an 'asari vampire'" Miranda said the last part using air quotes with her fingers. "will, in fact, not give him special vampire powers."

Hearing this reminded the Illusive man of just how much more he was drinking these days. "This time, he died on the surface of Tuchanka."

"Oh… I see." The Illusive man said, and visibly relaxed. "I suppose I should be thankful that he died with his pants on this time." he said, and began to massage his temples. "However, I'm more than a little disappointed that a man of Shepard's caliber could be bested by a bunch of savages, like the Krogans . It makes me wonder what I'm investing so much time, money, and resources into."

"Uhhh…" Miranda shifted uncomfortably, and began to rub the back of her neck "about the 'pants on' part…"

"Out with it, Miranda."

"He had a very successful mission on the planet. He slaughtered an entire clan, killed Thresher Maw, rescued Mealon and managed to recover some valuable data regarding the Genophage.

All in all, most of the Krogan now respect him. And the rest just outright fear him… which is arguably better than respect."

"Then what lead to his death?"

"Well you see…"

XxXEarlier that dayXxX

Commander Shepard carefully ventured though one of many shattered hallways of Tuchanka. The walls and ceilings, though made of sturdy concrete, had suffered the consequences of surviving a planetary nuclear war.

Rubble, potholes, and wicked pieces of steel rebar, that jutted out everywhere, made even the simple act of walking around dangerous.

But in spite of the hazards, the real danger was where the hall lead to.

The first human specter stood in front of a massive room. Its door, having long since ripped off of its hinges, was replaced by a simple curtain.

Gathering his nerve, the Commander took a deep breath and stepped inside.

The first thing he noticed was the smell of scented candles. Their soft glow showed that the room was tastefully decorated. The walls were lined with Krogan artifacts, trophies of pasts hunts, and the room had very plush carpeting. In the center was a massive bed, with an equally massive female Krogan.

She scowled at the man, as he slowly approached the lounging woman. She regarded him with a long scowl before she finally spoke.

"Speak human. I wish to know the foolish notion which brings you here, to die in my quarters. Not that anything you say will have any relevance in the end." She said, and decided that she was going to blast his sorry ass with her claymore.

However, the only thing that kept her hand was odd look she saw on his face. That, and the fact that commander respectfully lowered himself to one knee.

"I believe I was invited here, milady." the commander reached into a compartment in his armor, and provided a small stone medallion. "Is this not yours?"

The female Krogan stared at the object in shock. "My family crest? Impossible! I sent that as a breeding request to the mighty warrior, Shepard!"

"You did."

"You!?" she tilted her head "Am I to believe that you, a human, had taken the rite and slain a Thresher Maw?"

"Yes, I was the one to slay the beast… and, if you'll grant me the chance..." he said, then looked up at her with an almost evil smirk "...I would also like to also slay dat ass."

She sat up, and god help us all, she looked... interested. "Oh? Those are some very big words from someone as small and frail as yourself."

"Maybe. But I have traveled so far across the galaxy. Fought so many, and killed things that haunt my nightmares to this day..." Commander Shepard said "and yet still I wonder… what's at the end of all of this fighting? How many more must I fight, before I find the perfect woman?"

He finally stood and approached her, and in spite of the fact that the Krogan woman was twice his size, she was in awe as he reached out and gently caressed her face. "someone who will laugh with me, when we bring ruin to our enemies. Someone-" The commander gazed into her eyes "-who can maybe slay my Thresher Maw for once."

The female returned the gesture. "The one that lies within your heart?" She breathed. Captivated by his eyes.

"No… the Thresher Maw in my pants."

The heavy silence that then followed, was matched only by the look on the Krogan.

It was a look that could maybe described as predatory, dark… maybe even a little sinister.

But really, it was more terrifying than any of that. For the look that the female was giving him was one of lust.

Krogan lust.

xXXx

"...and as you can see from the slides, and this computer simulation, the injuries which lead to his death were the direct result of high impact sexual violence, and… Illusive man?" Miranda stopped when she noticed that the Illusive man hadn't said or done anything in almost 10 minutes.

"I-Illusive man?" She tried again. He didn't respond, but his cigarette fell from his mouth and into his drink. She winced as she realised that she might have made him catatonic by unloading all of the stupid on him at once.

"Uh… right…" She said awkwardly "I'll just go back to the ship and… you know… wait for those billions of credits… and stuff."

:D