an: ah, yes, another update. disclaimed.

"So, wait," Josh said, wheeling around to face Kristen's blank expression, "you and Derrick weren't really together? You just talked and kissed, like, one time."

"No, seven times," Kristen corrected, her eyebrow poised.

Josh stuck his tongue out and scratched his chin. "But, you're not together anymore, with Derrick, I mean."

Kristen shook her head and shrugged. "Guess not."

Josh skeptically sat next to her on the creme-colored couch. "And you're not in any emotional pain whatsoever?"

Kristen moved over and crossed her legs, leaning her head back on the arm of the couch. "I mean, I guess I'll miss him and stuff, but... We're just not the couple type of people. It's, well, 'cause the only thing we ever really got to talk about was soccer. And then we made out. But, see, we both kind of knew it wasn't going to get anywhere."

Josh nodded. "Then why'd you continue it? Like, why did you keep being with him?" he asked, the tinge of jealousy, hurt and curiosity hidden in his voice.

Kristen shrugged, playing with the loose thread that escaped from the throw pillow on Josh's couch. "I'm not sure... I guess it's 'cause... I... I don't really know, actually. I mean, I guess with all the stress put on us, with Massie being hurt—which I feel horrible about—and Connor still being in the hospital and Antoinette being in a coma..." She shook her head and sighed, rubbing her eyes. She stretched her arms over her head and she turned to Josh, who was staring at her.

"So, like, are you going to talk to Massie?" he asked, playing with the hem of his two-layered shirt.

Kristen half-smiled, staring at the coffee table in front of her, her hand tucked under her neck. "Yeah, I texted her last night asking if I could call, and then I did, and we talked for four hours straight. We both officially hate Claire," she chuckled to herself, and then frowned. "But, at the same time, I'll miss her. I mean, she was my best friend, you know? Aside from Massie, she was there for me, too. It's not like she did anything horrible. I mean, yeah, she left and shit, but, I mean, she's Claire, she's too fragile." She shrugged and stretched her legs out so that they lay on top of Josh's lap.

Surprised, he placed his elbows on her jean-clad legs and asked, "So, like, if Claire did realize her mistake, though, and she pleaded for your forgiveness, would you give it? I mean, like... Even after she abandoned you and Massie and repeatedly hurt Massie's feelings? And... I mean, Claire, yeah, she's cool and all, but being too sweet and fragile is never an excuse."

Kristen nodded, "Yeah, yeah, I know, I get that, but see, you don't know Claire like I do."

Josh rolled his eyes. "Oh, really now? Did you ever think that she'd do this to you guys? Just leave you for the fucking Pretty Committee?"

Kristen's eyebrows knitted together in anger. She was astonished at how quickly she got angry with Josh's debate. She quickly stood up and glowered menacingly at Josh's confused face. "Okay, fine, I admit, I didn't know that that wasn't going to happen. But obviously, you're going to befriend Derrick again, right? Even after he was sort of with Claire, even when Cam liked her, and you guys still talked to him right?"

"That's different!" Josh protested, standing up, towering over Kristen.

"Oh really now? Tell me how that's different!"

"Well," he began, pacing around the room, to get away from Kristen's green grass eyes, "it's different because it's not like he went totally against our backs. And, and because he did apologize to Cam. And Claire never apologized. She just stabbed you all. And you're literally going to let her come back if she wants to? You never know with Claire anymore, Kris. She left you once, you don't know if she's going to leave again!"

"And what would you know about people leaving and not coming back again?" Kristen inquired firmly, following his retreating back.

Josh led them to his classic kitchen, with ferns hanging from chains, a stainless refrigerator, and a green-tiled counter. He marched over to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of Mountain Dew.

Kristen, with her nostrils flared and her fists in a ball, grabbed the green bottle and whipped it across the cavernous kitchen. Josh, in fresh agitation, glared at Kristen, his eyes wide, his teeth bare. "What the hell'd you do that for, Kristen? Seriously, now? Stop being so immature!" he yelled, going over to retrieve the bottle.

Kristen frowned and grabbed a fistful of his shirt from behind. "No, Josh, answer the question first!" she growled.

Josh froze, his face freezing, then softening. His teeth clamped together and licked his lips. With his eyes closed, he murmured, "You. You, Kristen. You left with Derrick. And it hurt me so much—that you were with him and not me, and that you had left without even telling me. The whole time period that you were with Derrick, you didn't even bother talking to me anymore! You were fully with him, Kris." He reached behind him and gently moved her fist. He turned around and stared into her now pale green eyes. "Kris, I was scared that you weren't going to come back. You were my best friend. In the two weeks that we started talking, I told you my whole life story. We spent hours talking on the phone about everything and anything, and I thought that it was going to be the beginning of..." He scratched his forehead and sighed. "I thought it was going to be the beginning of forever, Kris."

Kristen's breath hitched in her throat, her eyes widening. She felt her heart drop into her stomach, her hands were stuck to her side and her breathing gradually slowed down, until they were just uneven inhales and exhales. Had she just heard Josh say something about forevers? With her? What?

He sighed and his eyes were still boring into hers, but he could tell that he had caught her. She didn't have a snappy comeback for what he was going to say next. "Kristen, I... I have the biggest crush on you. Or, had. I mean... It all started in the seventh grade. We were classmates and you were just so funny. We never talked or anything, but you'd be so confident when presenting our projects in class. You always had something witty to say, and it just caught me, like bait catching onto hungry fish. And it slowly progressed from there. I was sad, 'cause we only had, like, two classes together. And then summer rolled around, and I thought I got over you. But no. Eighth grade came 'round, and when I found out that we had four classes together, boy, was I excited. I couldn't hold it in." He shook his head and pulled himself onto a stool, staring at his folded hands.

"You were just the brightest light of me, Kris. I didn't know you all that well. But, we started talking then. Just a couple of conversations. But from there, I just knew that I wanted to ask you out. But then I find out, from a conversation with you, that you liked Derrick. You didn't say it right then and there, but I knew you were talking 'bout him. He is one of my best friends." He smirked ruefully and bowed his head. "But I never gave up on you, Kris. I thought, it was better to just be friends and talk to you than to give up on our ever increasing friendship. But it hurt, though. It's like, Derrick had already left, and still there was this perfect girl who fawned over him. Gosh, was I jealous.

"And then we stopped talking. No classes with each other for the ninth grade and the tenth. We exchanged a hi every now and then, but we never had a solid how-are-you-doing conversation. And then Derrick comes back during junior year and... And I was so scared. 'Cause Kris, even if we didn't talk, my feelings for you, they never changed. I mean, I wasn't waiting for you, waiting until you saw that I was your guy, but still. At first, Claire and Derrick went at it, going on a couple of dates, and I though, oh, well, he should be with Massie, but okay, as long as he doesn't try and get with Kristen.

"But, just my luck, I hear that you guys are together. No thanks to Derrick, of course. My anger, it led to a couple of mistakes—me getting in trouble with my dad 'cause I broke one of his trophy cases and then I had a long talk with one of the mall cops 'cause I was causing a riot apparently. But... I was just so angry. I didn't know how to let it out, at all. It sucked, 'cause I was there, someone who needed help, someone who needed you to listen to. And—and all the while, Kristen, while you're out trying to get Derrick's attention, I'm here for you, Kris, willing to give you all my attention whenever you wanted it."

Josh swallowed and tiredly ran a hand through his hair. He lifted his head to find tears streaming quietly down her rosy cheeks. He was surprised; clichés usually had girls jumping with joy the moment the boy poured his heart out. He hopped off his stool and took her face in his palms. "Are—are—I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?"

Kristen, her eyes red and her mucus and tears flowing together, shook her head. Her voice shaky and her heart thumping louder by the minute in her chest, she whispered, "You said everything right."

an: :)

and just to let everyone know, yes, i do know that i created massie as a mary sue. but, that's my own fault, i take all credit for that, no one else. i'm sorry if this made you "vomit out" whatever blah blah blah-ness, i truly am. i'm still learning as an author, and i actually think that i'm getting better, maybe not just yet with characters, but i'll get better. :) but anyway, to the second anon, it's okay :) i didn't take it too bad. so, thank you both anons for your reviews. :)

love,

ericka :)