Chapter Eight

Ennis sat in the hall waitin' fer the next spirit. He kept goin' over and over everything that had happened. He wondered want the future spirit was goin' to show him.

"Ok Ennis, are ya ready to see your future?"

"Don't you guys ever make a noise so people know yer there? Ya startled me."

"Sorry."

"I have a question, if I don't like what I see can I change it?"

"The greatest thing 'bout the future Ennis, is nothin' is written in stone. The future is what you make of it." With a poof they were gone.

The next thing Ennis knew he was standin' in a small dark room that smelled like stale beer and piss.

"Where are we?" Ennis asked.

"We're in your apartment, 10 years from your present."

"I know I don't have a lotta money or I'm not the best housekeeper in the world but this can't be my place." Ennis said as he took a look around. There was garbage on the floor, dirty dishes in the sink, empty beer bottles and liquor bottles everywhere, the bedding looked like it hadn't been changed in months and the floor was just as bad.

Ennis walked to the bathroom and looked inside and saw his future self passed out on the floor with a bottle in his hand. His clothes were dirty and he smelled like he hadn't bathed in a year.

Ennis looked at the spirit and asked "How did this happen to me?"

"Keep watchin'." Was all the spirit would say.

Ennis heard a knock on the door and turned to see his oldest daughter Junior walk in with some guy.

"Why do we keep doin' this all the time? He doesn't want our help and it kills me to see you go through this every time." Kurt said to Junior.

"Listen, you don't have to do this, but I do. He's my dad and he needs me. He's got no one else and I can't just leave him." Junior turned to Kurt and looked him straight in the eye. She was tired of this; it was the same thing every time. She knew her husband loved her that's why he did this but it hurt her to have to put him through it.

"You know I can't let you go through this alone. I just wonder why Jenny never comes."

"I don't know all the details but I'm gussin' it's cause she never could understand why daddy loved Jack."

"I can understand that. It's a hard thing to deal with."

"Maybe so, but it doesn't change how I feel and it shouldn't change how she feels, he's our dad, but I guess she's more like mama than I thought." Junior made her way to the closet took out fresh bedding and made the bed. While she did that Kurt went into the bathroom and cleaned Ennis up as good as he could then he put him in bed.

"I don't understand, if my girls know 'bout Jack and me why ain't I with him?" Ennis looked to the spirit for answers but the spirit just kept lookin' straight ahead.

Ennis looked around the room more closely. There on the nightstand was a picture of Jack and a postcard. He bent down to read the card. It was his hand writing and it was about them gettin' together but Ennis didn't see any of that. All he saw was DESEASED written in big red letters.

"NO!" He yelled. He was sure he had stopped breathin'. He couldn't move.

"How did it happen? Never mind I know. I told him they'd get him one day, just like ol' Earl."

"Things aren't always what they seem Ennis." The spirit said.

"Then tell me."

"Just watch."

"Junior you never told me how Jack died."

Junior finished settling her dad in bed and was on her way to the kitchen to clean up when she stopped and turned to Kurt.

"It was 9 years ago. Daddy and Jack always seemed to be fightin' but this time it was different. They had a really nasty fight up on Brokeback Mountain. They both said things they didn't mean and they stopped talkin' fer 3 months. Finally daddy wrote Jack a letter settin' a date fer their next trip. He figured Jack would know it was his way of sayin' sorry. Anyway, Jack never got the note; he died 2 months before that. Daddy called Jack's wife ta see what happened. She told him that he had an accident while changin' a tire but daddy never believed that, he always thought Jack was beaten to death. He blamed himself fer not bein' there for him."

"Was yer dad right? Was Jack beaten to death?

"No, it's just like Mrs. Twist said. Jack was changin' a tire when the tire iron slipped and knocked him unconscious, he drowned in his own blood."

"Why didn't yer dad believe her?"

"His own fears I suppose. It was easier fer him to handle than to deal with the fact he could have had a happy life with Jack. I tried tellin' him that it was no ones fault that it was an accident but he wouldn't hear it. He just kept sayin' he would one day get the bastards who did it."

"What did he do?"

"He went and got Jack's ashes and took them up to Brokeback, it was Jack's wish, then he came back here and started drinkin'."

"It's sad how he threw his life away." Kurt said.

"He was never the same again. I've heard him many times askin' God to take him."

"He's lucky to have you Junior."

"And I'm lucky to have such a wonderful and understandin' husband." Junior said as she walked over to Kurt and gave him a hug.

Ennis just stood there in silence. Had he really let his fear destroy his life? Why couldn't he just let things be? Not only did he ruin his own life but he ruined his daughter too.

"It can't happen this way, I've got to do somethin'. I can't lose the only people that I love." Ennis looked at the spirit pleadin' fer help.

"Ennis, life is what you make of it. Only you have the power to change it." In a flash Ennis was standin' back in the white hall.

"What now?" Ennis asked out loud.

"Now, you follow the light." He heard a voice say.