Title: Coming out - the epilogue
Chapter 1 - the anniversary
Fandom: Ocean's eleven (Post-Ocean's 13)
Pairing: Virgil/Turk (slash)
Rating: PG
Chapter Summary: It's been a year.
A/N: This is chapter one of the epilogue of the Driving me crazy 'Verse (which includes all three movies - the epilogue is set after the third movie)
CHAPTER ONE - THE ANNIVERSARY
It's been one year since the Bank job, and since Turk and him became, well, whatever you want to call it, Virgil thinks 'lovers' sounds so… but yeah, lovers, he concedes, because that's what they became in that dice factory in Mexico, and that's what they've remained for a year since.
They haven't talked about celebrating any sort of anniversary or anything, but if they were to have one, it would be today, Virgil knows, even though he's tried not to think about it and tried not to count the days, but yeah. A year ago today. And a year is, well Virgil thinks it's a big deal, and he thinks he can afford to feel a little relieved, actually. Because he never really managed to get rid of that uncomfortable feeling that this whole thing would turn out to be just a fluke, and a big mistake. But now, it's like they've reached some sort of milestone and the whole thing, the relationship as it were, just feels more real because of it, more official, even though it isn't, because they haven't told anyone, for obvious reasons.
They live together now, though. Thirty-three years old and they only now moved out from their parents' house. But they never really had a reason to before, since they only stayed at home when they weren't on a job, and when they did, they had a nice enough time, just hanging out like when they were kids and have Ma cook for them. But since the last job, moving back home didn't sound like the good idea that it usually did. So they got their own place, an apartment, and no-one thought it odd that they'd shack up together since they're practically joined at the hip anyway. They're still in Provo, Turk likes it here, and Virgil doesn't mind it. They have their friends and family nearby, but with the apartment they now also have privacy when they need it.
Sometimes, though, Virgil wonders what it'd be like if they were to move to another town, another state even, move somewhere no-one knows them and knows they're brothers. He wonders what it'd be like to be able to kiss Turk whenever he feels like it, be it at home or in the street or hanging out with friends. He wonders if they could become like those couple you see holding hands when they walk down the street, like they did that one time in Vegas, if they could be like that every day, for no particular reason, just like a routine, like something you don't have to think about, you just do, something that's just normal.
He hears the front door open and tears his eyes away from the kitchen window. It needs cleaning, but fuck if he's got the energy to do it. He puts the coffee cup down on the table in front of him, just as Turk's voice reaches him from the hall, a familiar "Hey, you home?" accompanied by the distinct chunks of his boots being kicked off.
"In the kitchen", he calls back.
A minute later Turk appears in the doorway, smiling already, and even now Virgil gets a flip-floppy feeling in his belly whenever Turk smiles at him, even though he should be used to it by now. He starts to smile back, and is just about to get up and meet him halfway, when another face appears in the doorway behind Turk, and he stops himself and remains in his seat.
"Bobo", he says. "Hey…"
"Hey, man! How's it going?"
"Great", Virgil says and glances over at Turk. "What're you guys up to?"
Turk shoots him an apologetic look, but doesn't say anything. Bobo takes a seat at the table, sprawling out like he has no intention of getting up anytime soon, and he starts telling Virgil about some pool tournament at one of the local bars that they're going to, Big Sam and Jimmy too. Turk walks behind Virgil and discretely touches his fingertips to his back as he moves past him and walks over to the fridge. He takes out a couple of beers and hands one to Bobo, then he holds the other one out to Virgil, a sadly hopeful look in his eye.
"You want one?"
"Yeah, sure", Virgil says.
He tries to keep all emotion off his face, and away from him in general, and he tries to sound completely neutral as he speaks, but the air feels like sandpaper as it passes through his throat, and the words are scratchy when they tear themselves loose. He clears his throat softly. He avoids looking at Turk for a minute and breaks the beer open and takes a couple of mouthfuls in one swig.
Turk doesn't take a seat at the table. He stays by the kitchen counter next to the fridge, drinking, and probably only pretending to listen to Bobo as he tells Virgil about their afternoon.
At a safe distance, Virgil thinks.
For some reason it makes him sad that Turk would think he'd be angry with him, like he's some ticking time bomb or something. He's probably given him enough reason to be wary, with his endless mood swings, but there's no reason to keep a distance, it's not like he'd ever lash out or anything.
He looks over at him, and finds Turk's eyes already on him. There's a new gleam in them, something that Virgil can't quite read, and he feels the panic start to build inside and has to look away again. He takes another swig of beer and tries to avoid thoughts altogether, but it proves to be impossible.
He can't help thinking that this is it, the one year mark, the milestone, and it's shaken Turk into realising how serious this thing between them has become, and now he's thinking of ways to end it, it was a fluke to him after all, or maybe it wasn't but now he's had a change of heart, but regardless he doesn't want to move away from Provo, and he doesn't want to be like a normal couple, and how could Virgil have been so stupid as to ever think otherwise?
"Hey, I think Sam thinks you're picking him up, dude", Turk tells Bobo and cuts off his story mid-sentence.
Virgil recognises that tone of voice, it's his brother's con voice, which means that 1.) he's lying, and 2.) he's improvising. Virgil keeps his gaze fixed on the table top. He takes another swig of beer, and tries to keep his face neutral, tries to keep his emotions in check, his panic down.
"He does? Why does he think that?" Bobo says, oblivious to the lie.
"I don't know, I thought you'd told him that", Turk says.
"He never said anything to me about needing a ride!"
"Hey, I don't know, maybe I got it wrong. Why don't you use our phone to call him?"
He's good, Virgil thinks faintly, despite the fear gripping him. Any minute now, Bobo is going to leave and they are going to have a Talk and then this will all be over.
"Nah, we'll swing by and pick him up, it's on the way anyway", Bobo concedes.
"Alright, yeah. But hey, maybe Virg and me will meet you guys there though, 'cause we have to drop by the old house, promised Ma we'd come by for a visit, you know how it is…"
"So you're taking your car then?"
"Yeah, yeah, we'll meet you there, it's easiest that way, it's in the opposite direction."
Virgil swallows down a lump in his throat and shuts his eyes. His head is reeling. He can hear his own blood as it laps by his ear drums.
"Hey, Virgil, you okay?" Bobo's voice reaches him through the buzz in his head.
"Probably the beer", Turk jokes. "You know what a lightweight he is!"
Then they leave the kitchen and Virgil can hear Turk walking Bobo to the door and seeing him off with promises of making the visit to the parents short and meeting up as soon as possible and having a grand old time together. Then the door slams shut and there's just silence.
Virgil opens his eyes, but he keeps them fixed to same spot on the table top as before. Then his brother appears in the kitchen doorway again. He more or less hovers between the table and the counter, worry and regret coming off him in waves.
Then he's right next to Virgil, and touching him, a strong hand rubbing between his shoulder blades, the other cupping his forehead, and his face dips into his hair, feeling, inhaling, kissing.
"I'm sorry, I tried to shake him off, but he wouldn't take no for an answer, said he wanted to see you and hang out for a bit", Turk murmurs, the sound muffled by Virgil's hair.
Then he straightens up and crouches down next to Virgil instead, peering into his face.
"Hey", he says, voice gentle, soft, lulling.
Like a cat purring, before striking, Virgil thinks numbly.
"It's okay", he says, voice only slightly scratchy. "I don't mind. Why would I mind. He's a friend."
"No, I know, but today-…" Turk begins, then cuts himself off. "Anyway… we don't have to go to that tournament, I'm sure I can come up with some excuse, unless you want to go of course…"
"Well I don't wanna go see Ma and Dad…" Virgil mutters.
"No"; Turk says and chuckles. "Me neither. We'll save that for a rainy day… So, you okay?"
"I'm not that much of a lightweight", Virgil jokes but it sounds hollow even to his own ears, but Turk chuckles anyway, which is always a bad sign.
"And… we okay?" he presses after a moment.
Virgil turns his head and looks him in the eye then. He can read nervousness and fear in brother, but also affection, and none of that new stuff he saw before and couldn't figure out. He shrugs, "I don't know, are we?"
"I hope so."
"You… okay. Yeah. Then, yeah", Virgil says, and even though he can breathe easier again, there still appears to be a knot in his chest.
Before they showed up, he was starting to feel more confident in this thing between them, more confident in himself and his brother's feelings, drawing strength from the fact that a whole year has gone by and his brother is still here, and he started to believe for moment that maybe it's going to stay that way, but now he's right back where he started, doubting everything, waiting for the moment when it all comes crumbling down.
Turk touches the side of his face. It's pure instinct that has him leaning into the caress. But he doesn't close his eyes, and he doesn't lean down for a kiss. They sit like that, just looking at each other for a moment. Turk searching Virgil's eyes for answers, and Virgil clouding his eyes so he won't find any.
He's getting tired of this game.
"I'm sorry", he says then, because someone needs to say it, otherwise they'll be here all night.
"Why are you sorry?" Turk says.
"I don't know. For acting weird."
"You are weird, so it's not your fault", Turk quips. "Listen, let's stay in tonight… do you want to?"
"We don't have to", Virgil says and looks away.
"I know", Turk says and gets to his feet.
He grabs his beer from the counter, then takes the seat opposite Virgil.
"But I want to", he adds.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I told you, Bobo backed me into a corner, I needed time to come up with a good excuse. Unless you really want to go, then we can go, but I much rather stay in tonight."
"And do what?"
"I don't know, cook… watch a movie… and stuff."
"And stuff?" Virgil repeats and can't help but smile.
Turk's eyes twinkle, and he smirks. Then shrugs. He takes a swig of beer. The tension in his shoulders is starting to ease off, and it's only when it does that Virgil really notice how tense he's been since he got home. Not just guarded and wary, like he thought, but tense like a prickled-up hedgehog.
"I can cook", Turk suggests again.
Virgil has to laugh at that. He can't remember his brother ever having cooked a single meal in their lives. And neither has he, come to think of it. Besides they're mother's cooking, they're more take-out kind of guys. He tells Turk that, and Turk concedes, but still insists they give it a go.
"We can get some recipe off the internet, how hard can it be, we'll figure it out together."
Virgil wants to ask his brother what this new obsession with cooking and domesticity is all about, but part of him is scared of what the answer will be and another part reminds him not to look a gift horse in the mouth, so he doesn't object any further, rather relents to the idea, but says they should get started immediately, because when - then correcting himself, and saying if - it fails they want to be able to call for a pizza, and they have to do that before eleven.
Turk huffs a little at the show of little faith, but agrees to the compromise.
Funnily enough, once they get back from the grocery store with the ingredients and get to work on the lasagne and salad, they're actually having a really good time. They move around each other in perfect rhythm, only crashing into each other a few times and when they do, they kiss, so it's not altogether a negative thing. And by the time the lasagne is in the oven and the table is set, Virgil has almost forgotten his doubts and fears again.
When they were out shopping, Turk suggested they get a bottle of wine to go with their first attempted home-made dinner, despite the fact that they're both of them more into drinking beer, and Virgil had thought, why not, so they got two bottles, and now Turk is opening the first one and for some reason this whole evening, the set-up, the smell of food, the set table, the anticipation in the air, it just feels like a date, a very serious, by-the-book date and it makes Virgil feel all jittery and excited.
Turk pours wine into the two glasses and hands him one.
They knock their glasses together gently, eyes locked the entire time, even when they take the first sip. And Virgil thinks he knows what's going on, what this whole thing is about, but he doesn't really dare to hope either.
He should just say something, get it out in the open right now, otherwise he'll never be able to relax tonight, he thinks.
He looks down.
The wine is red. It kind of looks like blood. He swirls it around a little in the glass, like you're supposed to do, and he licks his lips, steels himself.
"We don't have to talk about it", Turk interrupts him.
Virgil looks up again. Turk gives a half-shrug, but he also gives a half-smile, so Virgil knows it's more to do with being nervous than not caring. He doesn't want to talk about it either, but…
"I kinda need to know."
Turk puts his glass down on the table behind him, then folds his arms across his chest, and looking down at the floor between their feet he nods.
He's scared too, Virgil realises then, and somehow the thought is comforting. But he still can't really get the words out. He feels really stupid all of the sudden. His cheeks heat up slightly, and he hopes his brother doesn't look up, because he knows he's blushing, and Turk will definitely tease him about it later.
"We're- this is- …Right?" is all he gets out in the end.
"Okay", Turk says, and of course he looks up. "I don't actually read minds, you want to talk about it, you're gonna have to talk."
"It's been a year."
"Right", Turk agrees and looks down again.
"And that's why you wanted to stay in, and cook, and stuff?"
Turk shrugs again, and then he nods, and then he shrugs one more time. Virgil feels the knot in his chest untying completely.
"So this is our first anniversary", he says.
He knows Turk can hear the smile on his voice because he starts smiling himself, even before he looks up and sees it.
"Well you don't have to be such a girl about it", he says.
"Right", Virgil says.
The End.