I woke up without a hangover. I woke up without a headache. And it felt good. I didn't allow myself to think about anything else. Nothing except for medicine. The only way not to think about anything else than surgery and medicine was to work more. Starting today. It was the beginning of my 48 hours shift. And after these 48 hours I needed a plan how to stay longer in the hospital and practice medicine. I got up in the. The floor was cold. I shivered. But I felt good. I felt some kind of alive. I turned on the shower and got ready for work.
I arrived early. I was alone in the locker room and I felt relieved. It meant that I wouldn't earn judging looks form the other interns. They already hated me enough because Ellis Grey was my mother. I wasn't that I wanted them to like me but I wanted to be someone they don't care about. I wanted them to have a neutral attitude towards me. Just like I had a neutral attitude towards them. Just coexisting. That was my plan for him too. Coexisting. The door opened and Yang came in. Somehow I liked her. She wasn't judging and she didn't care. She was focused. I appreciate her attitude. She looked at me. But still not judging. "You're early", she stated. "So are you", I told her. "Any good cases this morning?" she asked me. "Nope. Nothing good came in tonight." I replied. "What a shame." Since the conversation with Yang was over I decided to read one of my many medical journals until Dr. Bailey what march in and tell us our assignments for today. Yang seated herself next to me. She didn't seem so calm like normally. But I didn't care. "I was sleeping with Burke you know." She blurted out. "He dumped me when I told him I didn't want a relationship and playing his housewife. But what he did to you. That's just a low blow." I just nodded and she took out a medical journal too. And I thought to myself at least one who isn't judging and maybe I had one person in my corner. I scared me. I liked that thought. I never bonded with someone. And she seemed like she didn't bond with people too. Slowly the locker room got filled by the other interns. O'Malley and Stevens came together and the last one of our group who arrived was Karev. I appreciated Karev attitude too. He didn't give a shit about gossip and the problems from the people around him. I wasn't even sure if he cared about his patients. But Stevens and O'Malley the loved gossiping and judging. And every morning they were giving me their judging looks and they were talking about me. I couldn't hear them but I knew it. It was the same this morning. But this time Stevens looked at me and asked "Who's next on your attending list? Burke?" I decided to ignore her when I heard Yang "Mind your own business blondie. You're just jealous of her." I couldn't believe it. She just defended me. And Karev was on Yang side. "Yeah. Mind your own business and leave her alone." Yang and Karev defended me. I couldn't believe it. I mouthed "Thank you" to them. I had two people in my corner. For the first time in my life I had people in my corner. I didn't ask for it. Somehow it felt pretty good. Bailey marched in and eyed us. She spoke calmly "Grey Dr. Shepherd requested you." I looked at her and shook my head. Why is he doing this to me? That's when Yang asked Bailey "Is it possible if I work with Dr. Shepherd today? I would love to make more experience in Neuro." Bailey didn't look pleased but she nodded and said a simple "Alright. So Grey you will work with Dr. Burke today. Stevens you are with Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd. O'Malley you will cover the pit and Karev you're with me today." Yang and I made our way out of the locker room to find Dr. Burke and Dr. Shepherd. "Thank you for doing this for me. I owe you a big one." Yang smiled and said "No need. You're doing me a favor too. Remember?" We saw them standing at the Nurse Station a glanced over to Yang and said "Here we go." We walked up to the Nurse Station when he noticed us. He glanced up from his file and smiled at me. "Good morning Dr. Grey. We have an interesting case today." The second he finished Yang spoke up. "Actually Dr. Shepherd, Dr. Bailey assigned me to your service today. Dr. Grey is working with Dr. Burke. It's me and you and an interesting case." Yang enjoyed it to see his smile fade. Mission completed. Burke watched to whole interaction and said "Let's go Grey. We have a busy schedule today." I walked away with Burke and I didn't look back. I felt so good. I mean what was he thinking? Requesting me for his service. Stupid brain man. Didn't he get the memo? He left me. He chose her. And since this morning I had two people in my corner. Maybe three. Bailey. She was the whole reason why I didn't have to work with him. And considering the fact that he was also her boss I could say she was in my corner too. So the morning just started but I felt confident. Confident about the fact that focusing on my work was working.
It was lunch time. Since I started working as an intern a bought a snack in the cafeteria and ate my lunch on the gurneys in the basement. All by myself. So this was the plan for today too. Hurry up in the cafeteria and going unnoticed to the basement. But today I didn't leave the cafeteria unnoticed. I was followed. Followed by him. But Yang and Karev paid attention and cut off his way. So now I wasn't followed by him but from Yang and Karev. They found me in basement. My medical books were lying on the gurneys. Lunch and studying always worked out for me. But now I was interrupted. It felt strange to eat lunch with someone. But I let myself go and accepted the fact that they were here. I didn't want to send them away since they defended me this morning in the locker room. And since Yang helped me out assigned herself to his service. I was grateful. So I didn't say anything and accepted the fact that I was eating lunch with them. And it was actually really nice. We didn't talk much. I thought they would push the topic about me and him and what exactly happened between us but they didn't. I already had prepared myself for they questions but they didn't came. And again I was grateful. We fell in a comfortable silence which I appreciated. I thought maybe we would become friends. And then I did something I never really saw coming "I have a lot of old surgery tapes. Surgeries my mother performed. Wanna watch some of tapes sometimes?" "No shit? You have tapes where Ellis Grey is performing surgeries? I'm so in." Yang said. "Me too. I'll bring beer." "Oh. Oh. I'll bring snacks. Just tell me what you like and I'll bring it." I laughed. Yang was so excited. "Everything except for Chinese food. I hate Chinese food." Now it felt strange to have another 40 hours to go. I think I just made friends. In a strange way. But I was sure I made friends.
In the next 40 hours I assisted Dr. Burke in surgery, grabbed some snack and crashed in an on call room and I was paged because one of Burke's patients crashed but I was able to get him back. So finally my 48 hours shift was over and I was exhausted. Avoiding him was exhausting. But I could live with that. I went to the locker room. Yang was the only one in there. "Heading home?" She asked. "Yeah. I just want my bed. You?" "Me too. By the way Shepherd sucks." When I finished changing into my street clothes I waited until Yang was ready to go. We left the locker room together. We were walking out of the hospital into the rain of Seattle. And the second I stepped out of the Hospital I felt like the rain washed everything clean. I felt better than 48 hours ago. Correction: 48 hours and 42 days.