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Chapter 5 – The Non-Judgemental Friend

In her bed Galinda's fingers clutch her duvet like the world will end without it. Her eyes are screwed up tightly and soft whimpers escape her throat.

Mean faces stare her down in the darkness, tormenting her with hateful words, their laughing voices hitting her from all sides. She shrinks back and curls into a trembling ball.

'Leave me alone,' she pleads, but they point long digits at her and cackle. Their arms link and they form an army of giant cocktail dresses and tuxedos which tower over her.

'No. You deserve to suffer,' says a voice. Galinda looks up to dazzling blue diamonds, brown hair and the most handsome face she's ever seen.

'Fiyero,' she chokes, but her voice is thick and heavy; her cheeks are wet from tears. Around her the words echo in a painful circle: 'You deserve to suffer…you deserve…' and Galinda sinks to her knees in despair, knowing what a failure she is for letting this happen.

'I'm sorry!' she cries. 'I couldn't help it, I'm sorry!'

'…you deserve to suffer…'

Then: A softer, more commanding tone that mutes those horrible words:

'Mine. She is mine.'

Galinda raises her eyes to meet the dark chocolate ones of her roommate. Elphaba is extending a hand towards her. Galinda is desperate to take it but looks around for her tormentors, whose muffled voices remind her of the consequences of her actions.

Fiyero is staring at her condescendingly.

'Us or her,' he declares. 'Choose.'

But why, Galina wonders, why can't I have both?

In real life, Elphaba sits at her bedside, running her hands through Galinda's hair and telling her not to be afraid.

.../...

The closet was home to an untidy heap of chucked in, unfolded pink attire. The narrow spectrum of garish shades blurred before Galinda's eyes as she listlessly attempted to choose tonight's apparel. They all seemed to have become old, unoriginal and dull, even despite her many fashion escapades into town for the next big event.

She lifted the sleeve of one such garment, and let it drop. She loved pink with all her heart, but wondered if it was finally time for a change. A new colour might invoke a fresh burst of energy to enjoy these social events. Perhaps green…it wasn't such a bad colour after all; in fact, it was rather lovely.

She sighed and closed the closet door. It was no use. Inspiration had abandoned her, and she didn't fancy treading the tightrope with her friends. The emptiness of the dorm, the conspicuous quietness, the lack of a plan, gave way for ominous thoughts to plague her. She looked across at Elphaba's dull area of the dorm, willing it to disappear because maybe if she couldn't see it she could forget that the green girl was ever a part of her life.

What a cheap way out of her conundrum, she inaudibly scolded herself.

Even if she had that ability, she wouldn't have the heart to do it. Selfishly, she couldn't stand the idea of a life without Elphaba in it.

I'll just go to bed then, she thought, but her stomach churned at the idea. Instead she sat on the corner of the mattress and stared at the bedroom door. She knew what she really wanted, but that was the thing she knew she ought not to be craving so badly – for Elphaba to walk through the door in that aloof way of hers with her nose in a book and a huge pile of school work under her arm. Where is she anyway?

Galinda squirmed and sighed – the silence was too much. Restlessly she got up and removed a bunch of dresses from the closet. One by one she shook them out and put them on hangers and restored them to their rightful places. Half an hour later, they hung in an organised line and Galinda stepped back to admire her handy work.

Well, that was a tiny part of the evening out of the way.

She groaned loudly and wondered why in Oz it was only seven thirty. Usually at this time she would be applying the finishing touches to her make-up, waiting in anticipation for Fiyero and fending off sarcastic remarks from Elphaba. Instead she grappled around for something to do that didn't involve sleeping or the OzDust ballroom.

Is that all my life consisted of?

Then finally, the sweetest sound Galinda had ever heard: the twisting of that rattling old doorknob announcing Elphaba's presence.

'Finally!' she exclaimed as the green girl strode in with the very posture Galinda had imagined not that long ago.

Elphaba looked up from her book with a raised eyebrow and a smirk on her lips.

'I would have thought you would be – what is that term you use? – glammed up by now.'

'I haven't the energy,' Galinda sighed.

'I'm surprised. You of all people always have the energy.'

'Just don't ask.'

Galinda sat back on her bed. She had craved Elphaba's presence, but only now did she realise that the green girl would present something of a bother as she tried to fend off her unladylike thoughts. What she'd really wanted was Elphaba's comfort, but of course, Elphaba was the one person she couldn't turn to about this particular problem.

'You are quite the rainy day this evening,' Elphaba remarked. 'Usually that is my disposition.'

'I said don't ask,' Galinda snapped.

'I only worry for you, my sweet. I don't like to see your bubbles disappear, not when I have become so fond of them.'

Galinda turned red. Her heart couldn't help but flutter, even if it was so wrong. She squirmed on the spot and looked away, as though such a weak action might remove such unstoppable feelings. Annoyed and angry with herself, she leapt off the bed and charged towards the door.

'Just leave me alone!' she yelled, and slammed the door behind her.

Her eyes were blinded by the fast coming tears. She raced past a few party goers who probably thought she was quite crazy and headed for the freezing outdoors. She was stopped by a hand on her shoulder, and found herself collapsing back into Elphaba's arms and releasing her anguish into the green girl's chest.

'Make it stop,' she choked and Elphaba hugged her tightly and led her, staggering, back to the dorm. Galinda didn't have the strength to resist.

'What troubles you so,' Elphaba murmured as she sat down and allowed Galinda to cry into her lap.

The safety of Elphaba's presence was too warm; too comforting; and Galinda felt as though she ought to pull herself away and be rid of it. She didn't. She couldn't bear to become disjoined from the other girl. And she despised herself for the inability to just do it like any normal person.

Elphaba probably thought her quite silly for being like this.

'You'll hate me,' Galinda whimpered.

'I couldn't hate you, my sweet. No matter what it is.'

There wasn't a drop of annoyance, not one witty undercurrent or sardonic display.

'Yes you could.'

'My sweet, you have such little faith. That would imply me to be just like those socialite friends of yours, and rest assured, I am not.'

'You wouldn't hate me,' Galinda sniffled.

'No, I would not, whatever this is.'

Galinda wondered how Elphaba could say such a thing without knowing the nature of the issue. She was positive that, the moment she let on anything about her feelings, Elphaba would immediately change her mind, but her heart concurred that it would be a sweet release to share the burden with the one person who maybe might not hate her for doing so.

'I don't know if I can, Elphie.'

'Then don't, my sweet. Not yet. Whatever it is, you're not ready to talk about it yet, but when you are, rest assured I will listen.'

They were the most beautiful words.