"Why? Alexis is at Columbia. I don't really foresee her wanting to come to D.C. to visit very often."
"If I am here she will want to come visit."
"So are you going to sell your place in the city?"
"No. How can I? My mother won't leave. I mean I would love to put her out on the street, but..."
She cuts him off, "You wouldn't do that."
"It doesn't mean I haven't thought about it."
"So why do we need extra bedrooms? If you have an office why do we need extra bedrooms? I mean two bedrooms should be fine. You can have the living room for your man cave. If Alexis wants to come visit she can stay in the second bedroom."
"I am sorry, this is all my fault."
"For wanting to live extravagantly?"
"For not expressing all of my thoughts, and desires to you."
"You mean you have more thoughts, and desires than what you express to me?"
"Of course."
"How can one person have so many thoughts?"
He shrugs, "It's a gift."
"What thoughts, or desires are you talking about? Are you going to move someone else into our house? I thought that we agreed you didn't want your mother to live with us."
"I did. She is not going to live with us. She is perfectly content to stay in my apartment in New York. She wouldn't move to D.C. if I paid her."
"So what other explanation do you have?"
"We need rooms for all of the other people in our lives."
"All of the other people in our lives live in New York. They are not going to move in with us. They might visit, and if they do they can stay at a hotel."
"What about the people who aren't in New York?"
"What people?"
"I am sorry that I never told you. I thought that I mentioned it at some point, but obviously I didn't."
"Mention what?"
"My hopes, my dreams."
"Hopes and dreams? What the hell are you talking about?"
"You know how everyone has a picture of what their life will be like when they are an adult, as a child?"
"Yes," she nods.
"Mine was always a white picket fence in the suburbs."
"I never said that we couldn't have that. I am not entirely opposed to moving to the suburbs, or having a white picket fence. I might even let you have a dog."
"A golden retriever. His name would be Boyd."
"Boyd?" she furrows her brow, "Of all the things you could come up with, you would want to name a dog Boyd?"
"I have since the third grade."
"I have a feeling there is a story behind the name Boyd."
"It's me, of course there is a story."
"There is always a story," she rolls her eyes.
"My third grade teacher was one Maggie Boyd. I wanted to marry her. When I realized that she was already married I was a slightly infuriated. I wanted to really stick it to her."
"So you decided to name your future dog after her?"
"No I made up a story that I had a dog. I named him after her."
"You still want a dog named Boyd? Why?"
"It's a solid name."
"So what you're saying is that in your hopes, and dreams we have a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence, and a dog named Boyd?"
"That's not all."
"I can live with all of that, please don't add anything."
"Children need bedrooms," he tells her.
"Children? What children? Castle you only have one child."
"You don't want to have one?"
"I never said that I didn't want to have one."
"That is good, because if my plan works out..."
She cuts him off, "What plan? What are you talking about?"
"My five year plan," he responds.
"What five year plan?"
"By this time next year we will be married."
"Okay."
"And then we will work on making my dreams come true."
"Your dream is not to marry me?"
"Oh that is a big part of it."
"So what is the rest of it?"
"Precious little baby Casketts."
"As in more than one?" she cocks an eyebrow.
"I have always wanted to have four kids."
"Four?!"
"It is all part of the five year plan. Within a year we will be married. By the end of the five years my plan will be complete."
"Meaning what?"
"White picket fence, house in the suburbs, married to you. We will have a golden retriever named Boyd, and three little Casketts."
"What?!"
"I guess we have never really discussed having children in length. I always just assumed that you would want them."
"I never said I didn't."
"But the look on your face says something entirely different."
"Because according to your plan we will have three children in the span of four years."
"I know doesn't that sound glorious?"
"No."
"No?"
"Because that is insane. I am not an incubator. I just started a new job."
"You'll be settled in by then."
"Who is going to take care of three kids?"
"Me."
"You? Look you are an amazing father. Alexis is lucky to have you, but there is only one of her."
"So what are you saying? You don't want to have kids?"
"Not three of them. Definitely not three in four years."
"So how many are you talking? You want four?"
"No!"
"Two?"
"I would be happy with one."
"One? What's the fun in that?"
"Finding enough time to devote to one child is enough, don't you think?"
"I have all the time in the world."
"I don't want to have to choose. I don't want to have to feel guilty. I don't want to live with regrets. I certainly don't want to feel resentful about a job that I love. Or, even worse I don't want to resent you, or my children because I have to choose. That isn't fair."