Heartache all around.
For my love is frowned upon.
She eases away the furrow of my brows, and teases out my upturned smile.
I love her and she loves me too.
Yet we have to hide how we both really feel, from the world and the judgment that will ensue.
My family must know; hers must too.
She's the one I go home to;
She is home.
She loves me like I love her too.
No one says a word though, no one makes a fuss.
No one ever does; not a nit, not a pick.
Yet the world, the world that watches from beyond, has the say, the power to stop the love I share with her from becoming real, from becoming a known reality – an accepted normality.
Heartache all around.
Her love for me is also frowned upon.
Heartache all around.
Improper - she and I are said to be.
Frustration pours heavily down;
As more appropriate love interests are stuck right in my face, at the required match making sessions all citizens of a nameless town, if single, have to comply to and partake.
At least she's there with me, at each session, serving out her as do I, the now as we dub it, punishment too.
Each session, a game, a well-practiced play, from both her and I.
To bore away the unwanted, to put off the undesired;
To keep changing partners till the one we both want is opposite us – I for her, and her for me.
Heartache all around.
Inappropriate pairing, that's the holler that reaches my and her ears.
Separately she and I depart, looking appropriately satisfied with the outcomes of the night.
To only meet again right around the bend, careful to intertwine pinkies but never hold hands.
Heartache all around.
She and I can never be or stay, close together.
Sometimes however, she is adventurous, she is brave.
Sometimes however, I too throw caution to the wind as I welcome her arm.
She hooks it across that of mine; we are linked and walking proudly around.
Across the roads, along the streets, just her and I; just me and her, we are the company of each other.
Thankfully, no alarm ever sounds.
Heartache eases a little, all around.
She and I go home together - linked together, arm in arm.
Masquerading as mere best friends; surface wise – we are nothing more, and nothing less.
A face, a mask, worn each night and day;
Adhering to society's take on how love can only ever be that one pair, that one way.
Heartache all round.
For the both of us still listen out, for the sound of alarms.
She waits with me, as I wait with her.
For the world to accept that when she holds me, she's holding more than her best friend;
That when she holds me, she's holding her heart too.
Likewise when I do, that is how I feel, when I hold her close to me.
I stay constantly by her; near her, around her.
She follows wherever I go, is at wherever I'm at; backing it up with logical reasons, irrefutable facts as to why she needs to constantly, tag along; it is google-speak I will tease, it is so we can stay close together we both silently agree.
Sharing secret glances, long loving looks over paperwork, dead bodies, and crooks.
Sharing cups of coffee, sharing meals, and sharing a drive in the car over together.
If suspicion ever arises, I err on the safe side a little, I play it down a little;
I hang out with my work partners, I am careful to place myself in the bullpen instead.
Always though, I am near, I am around.
Always I will protect her.
Never will I leave her; and I know that she is always, here.
She has an ally, or so we both try to stay convinced.
For she takes away, she interrupts moments where it feels like only she and I exists.
Her ally is the watchful eye in a lab coat with a nudist nature hiding underneath.
Test results are in, she will loudly chime.
Just in case, she and I ever forget our place.
Which is often the case.
For she and I, both do so often, get lost in each other's gaze.
Heartache all around.
I right next to her, she right next to me, just looking at and for each other; near impossible.
When no one is around however,
Elevated heart rates all the time, when she pulls me close, when she holds me close.
When her lips meet mine, and mine meets hers; kissing smiles, kissing love.
Only when no one else is around.
Her turtle, no tortoise, and my dog will never tell;
They do not count.
They are family, they will never tell.
A steady beating of the oxygen pump, because cardiovascular valve is just such a mouthful, such a term that only she – the science loving love of mine – will use.
A steady beating, a comforting melody - of her heart against her chest - as I lay my ear against her chest to listen, and to rest.
There is no one else around.
To see, to comment, to judge or to prosecute.
There is just the both of us.
To share, to support, to encourage, and to love.
The world will never understand, how at the touch of her hand, I feel whole and together time and time again.
How her smile has me smiling too. As easily and as brightly, as my smile does to her, to hers too.
Heartache all around.
Except when she's around.
Even when no one is around.
The blinds are kept down, curtains are kept drawn.
Just to be certain that, there is indeed no one else around.
We both know that we're treading on risky, dangerous grounds.
Certain folks in a nameless town must never know, for there will only be dismay and worse, appall.
For there is a rule, a way that this story is meant to be played, and I and her both,
Have fallen for each other, have chosen one another, instead.
Resigned to hiding in either a place with four walls, with no ceiling but a thatched roof or to hide away in a space with four planks of wood and another overhead. Like a closet, need anymore be said.
Still,
Together we both stay.
Together, for always.
Heartache all around.
Except when she is around.
My arms are around her, hugging her frame; holding her dear.
Her arms are around my waist, her hands gentle against the small of my back; keeping me in her embrace.
She smiles at me, I smile at her.
She smiles into me, I smile into her.
She rests her head on my shoulder, I kiss the top of her head.
I lay my head against hers, she trails kisses along my shoulder.
I smile into her hair, she smiles into my shoulder blade.
Both enjoying each second of the precious moments, of just I and her, of just her and me.
I pull slightly away from her, just enough to see her face, to meet her gaze.
"I love you Maura," I kiss her nose, I kiss her forehead, "Maura, I love you."
"I love you too Jane," she smiles and she kisses my nose. "Jane, I love you." She tiptoes and kisses the fore of my head.
"Jane," she takes my hand in hers, "Together," she says as she intertwines my fingers with hers, "We are a whole." She kisses my interlinked fingers, knitted tight together with her.
"With you, Maura," I kiss each of her fingers, "My heart doesn't ache. My heart grows and I think," I smile, "It glows."
She laughs, she smiles.
She goes on to explain how the heart, an organ, which is essentially a muscle can never glow.
I listen to her laugh, I listen to her voice, and I watch her smile.
I smile at all of that, I smile at all of her, and I've never been happier.
Heartache all around,
Except when I'm with her.
"I'm here Jane," she traces the frame of my face, "With you, for you, and that's all that matters," I catch her smile before she leans into me, "I'm happy."
"I'm happy too Maura, with you, for you," I hold her closer, "It'll always be you." I kiss her temple.
"Always," she says, "And forever." I complete the sentence, the promise, together with her.
Together.
My smile, her smile; my smile and her smile.
Two smiles meeting each other; mine and hers, hers and mine.
Together.
There is no heartache.
With her,
There is always happiness and love.
A/N: Hi there, thank you, for the time~
This...marks the end of 'Themed Pieces' and, it was written for the week 'Heartache'. It was originally in "you" format but, best to not risk rule-breaking and, as much as I find certain bits of this story problematic, I'll just have to settle for the nice lines that still exist. As for the angle I went with this story...let's just say, I'm all for the idea of: love is love, and a person loves a person; anything else is just...I really don't care - orientations are just, the first day of school~
Hope it's alright and, thank you, for the time=)