His eyes widen. He locks in on her facial expression. He swallows hard when he realizes that she's not joking.
"Since when?" he wonders.
She shrugs, "I don't know. I just found out earlier today."
"Maybe you were pregnant before," he suggests.
"Before what?"
"Before you left. Before I came over to your place."
"I certainly hope not."
"Why?"
"I drank so much that I passed out. If I was pregnant before that I'm in trouble. The baby would end up with fetal alcohol syndrome."
"Maybe it happened after that."
"Maybe. I don't know when it happened, for sure. I just know that it did. I couldn't understand how this happened. I mean Castle and I are always so careful, but... now it makes sense."
"So what are you going to do?"
She shakes her head, "I don't know."
"You have to tell him."
"Tell him? How can I tell him? He wants to get married. He wants to move to a house in the suburbs, and get a dog."
"But what do you want?"
"I thought that is what I wanted."
"So then let me ask you this, why did you sabotage your relationship with him? Why do you always sabotage your relationships. I know you're afraid of commitment, but I thought that it was different this time. What happened?"
"It's complicated."
"Complicated? You just threw away years worth of work in one night."
"You were there too."
"I know. I made a mistake too. I wasn't the one who initiated it. How could you hurt him like this?"
"Me? What about you? What about Lanie? What is she going to say?"
"Why do you think that we're on the outs? I told her."
"You told her? You told her before you told me? I thought that you said you didn't tell her."
"I told her, I just I didn't tell her it was you."
"She is going to hate me."
"Why are you trying to blaze a path of self-destruction?"
"Espo you wouldn't understand."
"Kate what is really going on here?"
"Maybe it is better this way," she insists.
"Better what way? What are you talking about?"
"It was never going to work anyway."
"And, you made damn sure of that," he points out.
"I can't have this conversation with you."
"You have to have it with somebody," he reminds her.
"You're right, Javi."
She finds Castle tucked away at library, reading a book. She takes a seat at the table he is sitting at. She looks across the table at him, feeling consumed by guilt. He looks up from the page he's on.
"What are you doing here?" he asks in a quiet tone.
"I need to talk to you."
"I thought I made it clear that I didn't want to talk."
"Since when?" she responds.
"Kate why are you here?"
"Can we go somewhere?"
"Fine," he agrees.
He follows her out of the library. They end up at his place. Martha is working on a play, and Alexis is studying for a test. It's just the two of them. He heads into the kitchen, and opens the fridge.
"You want anything?"
"Castle sit down," she insists.
He takes a seat on the bar stool next to her. He faces her. He scrutinizes her facial expression.
"What's wrong?"
"Everything," she admits.
"Look I am sorry that I got so angry. I am sorry that I walked away, I just didn't want to ruin everything by saying something stupid, something I can't take back."
"Rick, you don't have to worry about that."
"What do you mean?"
"I already ruined it."
"What?!"
She looks down at the ring on her finger. She twists, until it slips off. She hands it to him. He shakes his head, and refuses to take it from her.
"I don't want that."
"You should take it. I don't deserve it."
"You think that you don't deserve it because of the conversation that we had earlier? Kate you make me happy. If you don't want to have kids I guess that I can learn to live with that."
"That is too much for you to give up."
"I would give up anything for you."
"Why? I am a terrible person."
"Because I love you."
"I never said that I didn't want to have a kid."
"Okay."
"I never said I wouldn't want to have one with you. If I were going to pick anyone it would be you. You are an amazing father. I just don't know if I'm ready."
"That's okay. It is okay to be scared."
"You don't understand."
"So make me understand," he begs.
"After you left I got to thinking."
"Yeah," he nods.
"And then I ended up here, and I couldn't find you. I went to the precinct, hoping you would be there."
"I wasn't."
"And I realized what a horrible person I am."
He tilts his head, and looks at her in confusion, "What are you talking about?"
A/N: Thanks for everyone who is willing to see this through, and actually give the story a chance to develop. I appreciate all of you who have faith in where this is going.