Chapter 4:

It's all out in the open now

Once Aaron had decided to tell Paddy about everything he was much calmer then he had been in months, ever since he and Adam had begun actually. But now he was trying to find the right time to tell him. He needed to talk to him and make him understand but Aaron wasn't great with words and he wanted to get this right. He only wanted to have to go through this once and the more he thought about telling Paddy he was gay the sicker he felt. But tonight was the night, Paddy was supposed to be in and Aaron was going to make dinner for them. Heading into the surgery he found Paddy in the reception chatting with Pearl.

'Hey Paddy, I'm making dinner, just burger and chips. Will I put you in the pot?'

'Yeah, please. I'll be finished up here in about fifteen or twenty minutes.' Replied Paddy slightly shocked at the thought of Aaron cooking for them.

'OK, sure I'll see you inside. Night Pearl, see you tomorrow.' He said as he left the surgery to get started on the food for dinner.

Pearl sat in shock, he'd never been so polite to her since she started at the surgery over a year ago, maybe Paddy was a good influence on the lad after all.

Twenty minutes later Pearl had headed off home and Paddy closed up the surgery. Heading into Smithy through the vets entrance he could smell dinner and it smelt slightly burnt not that he'd ever say that to Aaron. They'd been having a tough couple of months and maybe this was Aaron's way of apologising or something.

Walking into the kitchen he found Aaron flapping a tea towel around trying to get rid of some of the smoke.

'I burnt the baps Paddy, sorry. I'll do more if you want but I'm just gonna have mine on a plate with the chips.' Aaron said conversationally while trying to keep the shake out of his voice. The time was getting nearer and nearer to when he'd have to blurt it out and he didn't know if he could do it. With a sigh he started plating up the dinner.

'Here' he said putting the plate in front of Paddy. 'Drink?'

'I'll take juice and then you can tell me what's on your mind' Paddy said, seemed he was more observant that Aaron had realised.

'Em, nothing I'm fine honest' was all Aaron managed even though he'd been given the perfect opportunity to spill the beans.

Dinner passed in relative silence, every so often one or other would come up with some small talk but all in all the dinner was quiet.

'Ok Aaron, I can't take this anymore there is something going on and you aren't telling me. Please, just tell me. You know whatever it is I'll try to help as much as possible, whatever it is'

After a few more minutes of Aaron being silent he asked the question that had been on his mind since Christmas and he'd seen something odd between Aaron and Adam 'Is there something going on between you and Adam?'

'Em, what do you mean Paddy?' Aaron asked hesitantly.

'I saw something at Christmastime when we were up at the Barton's for dinner. You and Adam were in the kitchen and I was at the door and I saw him hold onto your hand and stroke your arm. You were looking at each other the way couples look at each other, if you know what I mean. I love you no matter what, you know that don't you?'

Sighing Aaron answered Paddy as honestly as he could 'I know Paddy, I know. We kissed the night I crashed Ryan's car and it's been ongoing since then. I'm, ya know, gay' Aaron whispered 'but Adam isn't. He's still with Scarlett and it's gonna stay that way as far as I can see it' bitterness evident in his voice as he said this.

'Ok, I never thought you'd tell me the truth, I expected you to tell me some story or other about how it wasn't what it looked like, I'm so glad you felt you could tell me.' Paddy had tears in his eyes as he said this. 'Is that why you've been so off the last little while? Not that your gay but that your boyfriend is still going out with a girl?'

'He's not my boyfriend. We're just kind of together but not like that. We haven't gone any further then ya know some stuff. Oh god I cant believe I'm telling you this.' Aaron buried his head in his hands.

Paddy stood up and walked around the table until he was beside Aaron. Putting a hand on his shoulder he said 'Aaron, you know I love you and whatever you say stays between us but I never thought of you as the kind to cheat especially after what you saw me go through with your mam. I'm not judging you or at least I don't mean to but I just never thought you'd be happy being the other person.'

'I'm not Paddy, I'm really not but the thought of not being with Adam makes me feel worse then being his bit on the side. I don't know what to do Paddy, I really don't. I thought when this started Adam would eventually break up with Scarlett but it's been over three months and they are still going strong. It hurts but I agreed to be with him knowing he wasn't willing to break up with her. I just don't know what to do.' Aaron admitted.

'Have you said this to Adam?' asked Paddy.

'Ha! Yeah course I did immediately before I admitted my undying love! I don't think so Paddy, I don't want him to think I'm some needy woman for god sake!' Aaron scoffed.

'Well' said Paddy, 'if you don't tell him how is he supposed to know what's going on in that thick skull of yours? He's not a mind reader ya know'

'I know! For fuck sake Paddy back off!' Aaron shouted before pushing away from the table and knocking Paddy's hand from his shoulder.

'Aaron, don't be like that. You know I'm not saying this to hurt or upset you' Paddy said in a soothing voice trying to stop Aaron going off on one before he got out of hand.

Aaron could see what Paddy was trying to do but he was just getting madder by the second, he hated when he got like this but it was like a vent, he just went off and if it wasn't caught quickly enough he just went mental. Pushing past Paddy he was maybe a little too forceful and Paddy hit the doorframe with a bang that knocked him to the floor. As Aaron was running up the stairs he heard a thump as Paddy hit the floor. Reaching his bedroom door he stopped for a second but didn't hear anything from the kitchen. His anger quickly turned to fear and he slowly descended the stairs. Lying on the floor in an enlarging pool of blood was Paddy. He was out for the count. Moving towards him Aaron knelt down to feel for a pulse. Paddy was breathing but it was laboured, moving him into the recovery position he phoned for an ambulance. Shit, he thought to himself, look what I've done!

'Paddy, Paddy, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. Wake up Paddy, please wake up' he begged the prone body.

The ambulance arrived and as Paddy was being stretchered off to hospital Adam drove around the corner.

'What's going on Aaron?' he asked worry evident in his face and tone.

'He fell down, he's lost a lot of blood and he's been unconscious for quite a while. I'm going to the hospital with him'

Grabbing Aaron's arm Adam asked 'How did this happen?'

'Don't ask, you won't like the answer' was the only reply he got as Aaron wrenched his arm from Adam's grip and he got into the ambulance after the paramedic.

Looking after the ambulance as it drove away Adam knew exactly what must have happened, Aaron losing the head as usual. Maybe being with him wasn't as good an idea as he thought. Sighing to himself he went back to his quad bike and headed back home lost in his own thoughts.