Authors Note- READ ALL NOTES BELOW!
Ambivalence Meaning: The coexistence of opposing attitudes or feelings, such as love and hate, towards a person.
Miss me? Well I missed seeing a full message box! Haha. Well I am so excited to write this story because it's been in my mind since summer 2009. I have so many idea's but more are welcomed! If you have questions, they will be answered here, in this Authors Note, keep an eye on it even if you don't ask questions because if you do have the question, it could already be here. I am not good at answering reviews, but I am good at whipping up chapters 1-2 times a week. Updates will come every Friday from here on out.
Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. ( I miss writing that)
Songs for this story.
Invisible- Taylor Swift
I'm Only Me When I'm With You- Taylor Swift
Life After You- Daughtry
You Belong With Me- Taylor Swift
Set Fire to the Third Bar- Snow Patrol
Chances- Five For Fighting
Shake That Bubble- Young and Divine
Careless Whisper- Seether
You Found Me- The Fray
Keep Holding On- Avril Lavigne
Never Say Never- The Fray
Syndicate- The Fray
I'm Not Over- Carolina Liar
Shattered- O.A.R.
Halfway There- Lifehouse
My Immortal- Evanescence
Never Let You Down- The Verve Pipe
The Kill- 30 Seconds To Mars
Listen To Your Heart- Roxette
Apologize- Timberland
Safteysuit- Stay
More will be added randomly in chapters notes.
IMPORTANT!!! READ ALL THESE NOTES!!!!
This story is rated T for; Lots of swearing ( I warn you now, I have a horrible mouth when it comes to fanfiction, and it comes out in my stories, but not as much this one), a few sexual innuedos here and there, and future sexual content. I don't write lemons but there will be graphic make-out scene's, nothing further will be written. I do not want anybody under the age of fourteen, hell maybe even fifteen reading this story though. For under the age is too young and should not be reading because it's a little to early to taint your mind. Thanks for checking it out, but come back when your of my certain age limit please. One last time. IF YOUR UNDER 14 YEARS OF AGE, DO NOT READ!
Also! This is just to fore warn you. These first couple chapters are a little fillerish, just to show you all how Edward and Bella interact with eachother and how close they are. It's important to see that.
Dates will be set the beginning of the chapter, or will be told sometime in the chapter. I find it helpful not for just me, but for the readers to know what day, month and year. It helps me keep track of it all so I don't mix it up. Such as ages which I tend to mess up all the time and get screwed in the end.
MORE FOREWARNING!
If you read the original summary ( If you didnt go read its in the Prologue and in my Profile). Edward is going to be in character for the first 2-3 chapters, you will see subtle changes in Edward, but it won't last. A important string of event will occur in one of the upcoming chapters and it's important to start it early for the prologue to happen.
The prologue will happen in the 20-30 chapter range. I am thinking like 22 or 23, I will just have to see how this plays out as I write.
More!
I will take small idea's and quotes from movies, look at last chapters beginning. It's just something that I do. I like having familar lines sometimes, it's not a frequent occurance
BRITISH SLANG WILL BE USED RANDOMLY, IF POST WHAT THE FOREIGN WORDS MEAN ON THE BUTTOM AUTHORS NOTE'S! If I forget, then just ask and I will answer the review or Private Message.
****Set in 2005****
BPOV
I felt Edward shift beside in bed as he heard our parent's talking openly in my bedroom. Today was the first day of junior year, and Edward and I always spent the night together when we started new school years. But Edward over here was normally sleeping on the cot, and not squished into my twin sized bed with me.
" First day of junior year! Get up!" Esme cheered.
I reached out to Edward and poked the back of his neck, full well knowing it would make him cringe.
" Isabella," he growled.
I laughed and burrowed my head into my plush purple pillow. Edward reached over and jabbed me in the ribs, emmiting a squeal from me.
" Stop!"
" Okay! Get out of bed, now, before we drag you out." Carlisle said.
Edward and I slumped out of my bed, clearly not wanting to get up. He ran a hand over his face and ruffled his hair. Suddenly I heard his phone ring. He picked it up from it's place on the floor and answered it with an annoyed expression.
"Hello." he answered politely.
"Tanya, yeah... I have to get ready... Kate can drive you, can she not?... Alright, thanks. Bye."
Starting with my story, my name is Isabella Swan, Bella for short. I have brown curly hair that goes the the middle of my back, and brown eyes to match. I stand at five feet four inchs with a small, slender body.
I am your typical sixteen year old girl living in the city, Chicago. I moved here along with my parents and my parents friends, Carlisle and Esme, when I was fourteen. I used to live in London, which is where I was born, with my parents, also with Carlisle, Esme and their son, Edward, who is the same age as I am.
Edward and I have been friends since birth. We were born the same day, September thirteenth, I was born twenty minutes after him in the same delivery room. Growing up Edward and I became very close. Our parents had always pushed us together and we became that. Our bond is unbreakable.
He has messy bronze hair and peircing emerald green eyes. Bbuilt perfectly, has a killer smile that any girl would drop their pants for, literally. He plays as a quarter back in our highschools football team. Everybody loves Edward, there was nothing to not love about him.
Since the mere age of thirteen, I started to crush on him, of course it was only just small. Over the years it did worsen, considering we got older and feelings deepened. I guess we've been so close because nobody knows us like we know eachother.
This year, we were both starting out as Juniors in our highschool.
Edward and I had alot of friends back in London. The girls were all over Edward, and we moved when we were fourteen. Girls were insatiable when it came to him. But I guess I was one of those girls.
I have a great life for the most part. Two very hard working parents. My mother, Renee, who works as a interior designer, has short, light brown hair and brown eyes. Then my father, Charlie, who also has brown hair which is a little darker, similar to mine, and hazel eyes, he is the Chief Police here in Chicago now.
When Edward and I moved and began our first year in highschool, we became part of a small clique that included Alice Brandon, Jasper Hale, Rosalie Hale and Emmett McCarty. They had welcomed us with open arms and didn't make fun of us like alot of others did. Emmett and Rosalie were dating as were Alice and Jasper.
Edward's father, Carlisle, had grown up with my father. The Cullens have been friends with the Swan's for many generations. They were very close growing up, they went to the same schools and when Renee and Esme came into the family, they were welcomed with much love. When my father had the chance to move out here to be Chief Police, Esme and Carlisle came with for two reasons: One, they wanted Edward and I to always be together, and plus they were best friends with my parents and the second reason, they wanted to see somewhere besides London.
Now they both live next to my home in Chicago.
Edward and I had never been to public school, back in London we were in a private school. Uniforms and all. The first day of school here was interesting after getting picked on from our british accents and clothing habits. Who would of known that girls didn't wear pencil skirts in school?
Then there was Tanya Denali. When Edward had met her he had a little crush on her and took about four months to get the nerve and ask her out. Tanya has long blonde hair and blue eyes. I didn't like her at all, not just because she is dating Edward, but because she has slept with half of the school and everyone knows it. That didn't sway Edward one bit. She was pretty, but behind the make-up was a fake girl that just wanted one of the teams quarterbacks. The worse part was, she grew up with Alice and Rose, so they were the best of friends. They spent Christmas together, and Easter, Thanksgiving. The most known holidays, and their parents were great friends.
I think the influence of her and the jocks have been changing Edward slightly. It's just the way he talks to me and acts around me and his friends. He acts like two different people and his jock version is spilling into who he really is. I've seen him smoking a few times outside of school with the seniors, which is out of character. This has only happened recently, I was just hoping it was a stupid faze. Edward was never the type to go with the crowd, it just isn't who he is.
When it comes to Tanya, she is a different story... around our friends she is so nice, but when it's just her and I. She can be very rude to me for no reason, I have tried to be nice to her, I was brought up to be respectful to all, but she is just plain slaggy. I guess that she probably wants to have the relationship with Edward that I have. But unfortunetly for her, that will never happen. Ever. Edward and I have a bond that is unbreakable, something that is special, and will always be.
Tanya Denali would never change that.
--
" Isabella, Edward is here." My mother called from downstairs as I finished dressing.
With a long sigh I grabbed my messenger bag and slung it over my shoulder.
" Coming, mom."
I walked down the stairs and stopped at the foyer. When I saw Tanya I almost rolled my eyes. She was kinda intimidating, with her long, skinny tan legs, slim waist and 5' 7'' figure. Her blonde hair was at her shoulders in big curls.
What happened to her getting a ride?
Edward gave me a smile and I looked away, not wanting to get more mesmerized by the smile then I already am. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. He passed me a worried glance and stepped closer to me.
His arm wrapped around my shoulder tightly and stared at me. I could feel Tanya's eyes burning a hole into my skull and tried to break loose from his hold.
" What's wrong?" he asked.
" Nothing, don't worry about me." I assured him
He hugged me close and kissed my temple " You're so cute when you're lying."
My parents laughed loudly. " Well, children. Off to school."
" We aren't children." Tanya spat.
Even my parents hated Tanya. Since Edward started inviting her to the Cullen/Swan Saturday dinners we all got taste of how bitchy she was. I had no clue what Edward saw in her. I was raised to respect people around me, especially my parents and she was just plain rude, demanding and annoying.
" She is right, best off to school. Got the beatles CD, Izzy B?"
I bumped my shoulder with his " I told you to stop calling me that." I scolded as we walked outside.
" It's Beatles! not Bee-ules. Can't you speak correctly. And not like this." Tanya mocked, trying her best british accent.
" Tanya, it's an accent, you can't just get rid of it." I informed her.
" It's can't! not con't!"
I looked at Edward who looked annoyed " What she said, Tanya. Oh, can you sit in the back just this once?"
I stiffled t laugh at her expression and hopped into the passenger seat of Edward's shiny silver Volvo. Edward got into the drivers seat and Tanya got into the back with a huff of irritation and annoyance. I handed Edward the CD and he popped it in. The familar lyrics washed over us and we silently sang along to the music.
Moments like these I wished he was mine. I could reach over the console and hold his hand. A small smile came to my face. Maybe someday if I finally get the courage to actually tell him how I feel.
Someday... I really had to face reality and realize:
I was falling for my best friend, and I didn't know how to tell him.
EPOV
Ever since I was born, Bella and I have been best friends.
We did absolutely everything together growing up. Bella and I always had the same group of friends, attended classes with all the same teachers and did homework together. Now that we are in highschool we don't have all the same classes but we are still very close.
When we were fourteen we were uprooted from our home; London, England when her father Charlie Swan got a job offer in Chicago to become Chief Police. Which was in a different country from where we were. My parents and hers always wanted us to be together, and my mother and father made the decision for us to move with them.
I was ecstatic to live somewhere new, but also have another experience wth Bella. She means the world to me. Bella is the most caring, sweet, selfless and loving person that I have ever known in my sixteen years of life.
She dedicates her life to making others happy and keeping her grades up high. Her dream is to get into Columbia University and be a journalist. Well, I want to be an award winning actor, but we all know that can't happen, so I made the decision to want to pursue a career in being a college professor. I wanted to be a Law professor. It makes a good amount of pay a year and was something that I found interesting.
My parents are very hard working. Esme, my mother works as an interior designer with Renee, Bella's mother. Carlisle, my father, works as the chief of medicine at the local hospital.
In highschool I play as a quarterback in football. I started last year and found that I loved it. My girlfriend, Tanya, is head cheerleader and it's a cliche that we are dating, but I have liked her since the first time I saw her. She is so sweet to our friends and can sometimes be a bit much, but she is a good person.
Bella seemed to be wary around her. She was always giving out short answers and being quiet. I never asked why.
Tanya comes to our Swan/Cullen family dinners sometimes, and attends Bella and I's football game nights on Sunday when football season is here, not all the time but sometimes. Bella and I are huge Bears fans. Our friends, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie and Alice could really care less about sports. The guys would rather suck face with their girlfriends then do anything else.
When arriving at school I got out and opened Bella's door for her, she grabbed her bag and hopped out as I proceeded to open the door for Tanya. She had insisted I pick her up instead of Kate, her sister, drive her.
She grabbed my hand and Bella stood next to us as we walked into the highschool. Just two more years in this highschool and I could move on to bigger and better things.
Authors Note- I know it's short, but if you have read my stories, then I don't normally write a prologue (which was obviously posted before this) and my first chapters are short because I mostly sum up their lives. This gets much better, I can definitely promise you guys that one...
This story will be mostly BPOV, and EPOV when I randomly feel like it.
Review if you'd like and thank you for all the nice reviews last chapter. I appreciate them and I am glad you all are excited to follow me on this journey.
ALSO!
I just want to let you know that there houses are the same as they are in Twilight. Same kitchens, bedrooms etc... Its all the same. But if you remember in the movie, when you go up the stairs in Bella's house there is a railing where the stairs are, picture it a wall, and Bella living down the hall. Also, in her bedroom, the window is to the left of her bed. Picture her bed to the right of when she walks in, making it right across from the window so Edward and Bella can see eachother. Creepy, right?
British Slang Translation;
Slaggy- It basically someone who is mean, kind of a slut.