After a brief phone conversation detailing her location Castle finally catches up with Beckett. He takes a seat across the table from her, at a familiar location. He furrows his brow.
"Why are we here?"
"I just wanted to be somewhere that it was quiet, where I could think," she admits in a hushed tone.
"The library is a good place for that."
"I feel like everything is upside down, and inside out. Rick, I don't know what to do."
"About what?"
She takes a deep breath, and decides to reveal the truth to him, "I want to come home."
His lips creep into a smile, "Okay."
"I am not sure that I am ready to, though."
His smile instantly disappears, "What do you mean?"
"Working for the attorney general's office is an amazing opportunity. I don't know if another opportunity like this is going to come up again."
"So what are you saying?"
"I feel conflicted."
"You are the only one who can decide what the best option is. Kate I can't tell you what to do, even if I want to."
"Why does this have to be so damn hard?"
"Because it's life."
"Why does this have to be happening now? It could not be worse timing."
"The fallout from what you thought happened between you, and Espo? Kate don't worry about it. We will take care of it. You should focus on your job, and..."
She cuts him off, "That's not what I meant," she explains, with a pained expression on her face.
"What did you mean?"
"As terrible as it sounds, and as awful as it makes me sound, I meant..." she trails off.
He nods, in understanding, "You meant the baby."
"I feel so guilty for feeling this way, but..."
"Are you saying that you don't want the baby?"
"No, that isn't what I am saying at all."
"So what are you saying?"
"When we talked about having a family, this was what I was talking about. What I am feeling right now is what I didn't want. I feel guilty for not wanting to give up the job, and move back to New York. I feel conflicted because I really wanted this job."
"Kate I'm not asking you to give it up."
"It's demanding, there is no way that I can do it, and have a baby too."
"Are you afraid that you are going to resent the baby?"
She shrugs, "I don't know."
"I will make this easy for you, then," he begins.
"Easy? What are you talking about?"
"I absolve you."
"Absolve me, of what?"
"Your responsibilities. If you don't want to be a parent, no one is going to force you to be. Kate I think that I have been pretty damn understanding about this whole situation," the vein in his forehead pulsates.
"What are you telling me?"
"If you feel that you can't do both, then don't. I will gladly raise the baby, our baby, on my own."
"I am not asking you to do that."
"How are you going to make it work any other way, if you don't want to leave D.C.? Who is going to watch the baby while you are working? You can't expect me to allow a nanny to raise my child while you are out there, somewhere, chasing down bad guys."
"Why does everything turn into an argument with you, lately?"
"Because no matter what you want, or you feel, I want to be a parent. I am trying to do whatever is in the best interest of my child."
She raises her voice, "And you think that I'm not?"
"I think that you are too damn caught up in chasing dreams, and rabbits down rabbit holes to see what is important."
"I cannot believe that you just said that."
"It's true."
"You are talking about me chasing dreams? Castle your entire life is based on fiction."
"I just thought that I knew you better than this."
"Than what?!"
"I never thought that you would abandon your child."
"I'm not. I never said that I was. You twisted what I said into that. I didn't say that I don't want the baby. I didn't say that I don't want to be a parent. I thought that I could trust you. I thought that I could tell you how I am feeling. I believed I could share my uncertainties, my insecurities with you, but obviously that isn't true. Clearly you are going to use whatever I say against me. You are not at all who I thought you were."
"Me? I didn't sleep with Javi."
"Neither did I!"
"You put yourself in a vulnerable situation."
"I am sorry."
"Regardless of whether you slept with him, or not, you still crossed a line."
"I know that, and I am sorry. How long are you going to make me pay for this mistake? Are you ever going to forgive me?"
"Kate, I don't know. I wish I could tell you that I am ready to forgive you, but I'm not. I really want to. I really want to make this work for our unborn child, but maybe it's not possible."
"I think that we're at an impasse here."
"Yeah," he nods in agreement.
"So now, what?"
"I'll talk to my lawyer, and we can try to arrange some kind of custody agreement."
"Your lawyer, Rick that isn't necessary. I am never going to prevent you from seeing your child. You should know that."
"We are on really different pages here," he points out.
"We are out of sync, but I think that calling your lawyer is a bit hasty."
"I am not going to let you raise my child in another city by yourself. It's just not going to happen."
"Excuse me? Is this you trying to force me to move back to New York?"
"This is me telling you that I expect to see my child every single day, and if you think that it will some other way, you're wrong."