Authors Note- Chapter 28 guys is when it happens. I promise, I've already written it, and I also will tell you. I am not dragging things out between them, it wouldn't be fair after all of this whole chain of events and the pushed back prologue. But I won't just rush the whole entire thing. No worries, okay.

Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.

BPOV

I let the music play loudly, drowning out the sounds of my sobbing. Calming myself wasn't the easiest thing at the moment, and I didn't want to. I felt better getting all of the emotions out, finally able to break down.

My parents never knocked on my door or bothered me. It's not like they knew what was going on with me.

I could hear Edward saying that he loved her in my head, so many times. Over and over, just repeating. He actually loved Tanya, loved her. The kind of love that makes you smile and makes your toes curl with happiness when you see that person. Another choking sob came from my throat and I sat up, wiping the tears.

My heart clenched as I thought of him.

The love he held for her, was the love that I wished from him.

Slowly I rolled out of my bed and trudged into my bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I winced away.

Why am I doing this to myself? I thought, looking at my puffy eyes and wet, red cheeks. I grabbed a hair pin and held it with my teeth as I pushed a side of my hair back. My lips trembled as tears still fell. I grabbed the pin and pushed it into my hair, holding it back.

I splashed water onto my face, and dried it off with a now damp towel.

I knew that if I let myself break apart, that eventually there would be nothing left of me. I had let my feelings for Edward, run my life. He meant so much to me, and I just tried to make him see me a different way.

Should I try harder? Prove to him that I can be beautiful and everything he deserves?

Even I know that I don't deserve him, he is much more then I deserve. But I can't help how attracted to him I am. There is nothing to not be attracted to when I look at him. Yes, he does have flaws. Like being cocky or conceited, also very overprotective. But I liked his flaws, they made him seem not as perfect.

He is sexy as hell, right down to that damn crooked smile that melts me.

I know that I am not gorgeous like Rosalie, or balanced and graceful like Alice. I am nothing special, just an ordinary person walking this world, but something had to be good about me.

I didn't want to sit around in my own self-pity. That would make me look weak, and I wanted to be the exact opposite. I wanted to be strong, sexy, confident and smart. I was one of the four, but I had to work on the other three.

I had always had confidence and self-esteem problems. I've known this forever and seeing Edward with someone so beautiful, just reminds me that I could never be the girl for him. I would never be pretty enough.

But what if I tried. What if I cared more about how I looked and took more time to pick out nice outfits. Alice and Rosalie normally bought me outfits that were already put together. Maybe I should learn to figure it out by myself.

I looked in the mirror. Staring at my pale skin and boring hair and eyes.

" You can be as pretty as her." I said to myself.

I tucked a peice of hair behind my ear and sniffed.

I can do this. How hard can it be?

-----

April 21st

Friday

2006

-----

" You, Isabella Swan, want to willingly go shopping?! You asking me to go shopping with you! Early summer shopping!" Alice screeched as we ran down the cement stairs from school.

" Yes, Alice. Do you have to talk so loudly though?"

She nodded furiously and grabbed my hand, pulling me down the rest of the stairs. From the corner of my eye I could see Edward, Tanya draped over him and kissing him as usual. I ignored it, looking away with an eyeroll.

Ignoring had been a big part when it came to seeing them together. I just tried to ignore it as best as I could. Which was nothing under the ordinary.

Lately Edward has been taking his bike out, driving it out on the streets. And hasn't made a mistake yet. Not that I expected him to...

He said that soon he would take me with him, his exact words on the subject was, 'We'll take it to school, and everyone can stare and be jealous of how hot we look getting off of it'. I had to have a laugh at that one.

As we walked towards the Yellow Porsche, I felt a and rest on my shouler. I stopped walking and turned to see Edward.

" Where are you going?"

I smiled at him as Alice tugged on my arm " Shopping, with Alice."

He looked surprised and I spun around and slipped into Alice's car. She turned on the engine, the purring similar to Edward's Volvo. She turned music on just the lightest and peeled out of the parking lot. I fished my phone out of my pocket and dropped a message to my father.

" So, what's with this sudden want to do shopping?"

" I'm tired of the plain jeans and t-shirts. I have to occasional style but I am getting sick of my clothes. I need a new image and I thought that I needed help. You came to mind." I stated

She smiled widely " Bella, this is going to be so much fun."

I rolled my eyes and watched as the tree's quickly went past us. I really hope it was going to be fun.

----

We stood in the dark-lit store of Holister, going through all the different tops and bottoms. Alice was all bouncy and excited as she looked through the clothes. She would put something against my body and either nod or frown.

She scooped up a skirt and handed it to me " This is really in. It's hand blown-out holes, and the chambray lining with ruffles is so cute! I think light wash is best because you need to stay away from really dark things right now."

I smiled and took the skirt. It was really cute. I kept it in my arms as Alice searched around for a top to match with it. I let her do it, because whatever I picked up, she shook her head and took it from me.

She threw a pink shirt at me, ignoring my scowl at the color " It's not bright, get over it. The knot detailed back is cute, along with the scoop neckline. Go try it on while I look for more stuff."

I saluted her as a joke and went to the changing rooms. As I slipped on the clothes, a smile came to my face. Wow, I actually looked like a girl. Alice tapped on the door and I opened it.

" Oh! Who looks like a girl now?"

" Isabella Swan in Hollister, never thought I would see the day."

Alice sighed " Be nice, Rosalie."

" I wasn't being mean. Look, Edward told me you girls were going shopping, and Tanya and I were going to, but she bailed and here I am."

I shut the changing room door and changed into my other clothes. When I came out I brushed past Rosalie, who followed me and left Alice looking through clothes.

" Look, Bella. I'm really sorry about what happened. And this has gone on for far too long. Your my best friend, too. Not just Tanya... I was just looking out for her because they love eachother and I didn't want anything to change status wise. Friends?"

I sighed " Yes."

----

Alice dragged me to many stores. American Eagle, Aeropostal, Journey and many more. I was sure that I spent alot of money that I had earned these past few months. I still had a dent from when I bought Edward the iPod Touch. But he loved that thing like a child. It was worth buying.

Finally Alice stopped me in a place that was open in the middle of the mall, by the fountain. I shook my head furiously and started to walk away. Rosalie and Alice grabbed me before I left and turned me around.

" Bella, your hair is at your hips and it's just hanging there. It's been long since you've been here, and probably the same when you were living in London." Rosalie argued as Alice chatted with a lady.

She dragged me into a chair and set me down, keeping me down with her hands on my shoulders. My leg bounced nervously as I stared around. I tried to stand up but Alice pushed me down.

" NO!" She said firmly.

A lady, with a nametag that read ' Shelley ', came forward and smiled at me. She had long black hair that was jagged and layered to the fullest. A smile appeared when she saw me.

" Okay, so your friends tell me that you want your hair cut just below your chin."

" Whoa, whoa, whoa. No freaking way. No." I stated firmly as Alice frowned

The hair dresser looked at Alice and then I, frowning in confusion.

" Fine. How about we keep it middle of your back, layered, some bangs. Just crazy and fun to play with." Rosalie suggested.

Shelley looked at me and I nodded in approvement. " Fine."

----

I had put my hair in a loose pony tail, it being a few inchs below where it was going to be cut. She picked my hair up gently, holding sharp shears. I shut my eyes tightly and kissed my hair goodbye. I heard a snip and my head felt lighter. I felt something in my hand and saw it was my hair.

" My hair... Carlisle and Renee are going to kill me."

"Why?"

" Carlisle loved my super long hair, and Renee wanted me to donate."

They chuckled and the lady washed my hair before getting to work and snipping away. She went through my hair with a razor like cutting tool. Dragging it down my hair and uneven peices coming off. Aparently that was layers or something like that.

She cut my bangs a tad shorter and let them flow with the rest of my hair. Alice tried to convince me that highlights would look really good, but my hair dresser, aka savior, told her that it would make my hair look like too much.

Once my hair was finished being cut, she blew it out and curled a few peices. She straightened my bangs, and ran her hands through my hair before taking the tarp off, and turning the chair around.

My hair hit the middle of my back and I had to say, it looked really pretty and more exciting then my longer hair. I ran my hands through it, feeling the silky texture and stood. I paid for the cut and thanked her before grabbing my bags and following the girls to the food court.

I was surprised to see Edward sitting at a table with some of his football buddies. Alice skipped over to Jasper, who was talking awkwardly with the guys, and kissed his cheek. He looked quite relieved to see her. Emmett was being his normal self, cracking jokes and trying to make others laugh.

I had to laugh when I saw Edward wearing his black beanie hat. He loved that fucking thing to death. Slowly I snuck up to him and stole his hat from atop his head. He turned around and saw me, a smile coming to his face.

" And what do you think your doing?" he asked.

I slipped it onto my head and smiled " Nothing. But I think I look cuter in it."

He chuckled " You win, Isabella."

" So, Cullen. Where's your girlfriend?" Tyler asked, shooting me a smile.

" She said that she was getting behind in Chemistry, so she went home."

When has Tanya ever worried about her grades? I brushed off the thought as Edward took his hat back, situating it back onto his crazy bronze mop. He tapped the tip of my nose.

" I win."

I reached for the hat but he slapped my hand away " Eh eh eh."

I glared at him and smacked his hand before stealing one of his fries. He tried to grab it back but I had already shoved it into my mouth, a smile on my face.

" Jeez, Cullen. Got two girls on your arm."

Phff, I wish, minus the other girl.

" Bella and I are friends." Edward said, now being serious " Shut the fuck up and keep the comments to yourself, Crowley."

He made a motion of backing up and Edward nodded once and handed me the fry basket. I smiled at him and grabbed a fry. I stole sips of his Coke when he wasn't looking, laughing when he turned to look at me suspiciously.

Finally he picked up the cup and set it down before looking at me " You owe me a drink."

I dug into my pocket and produced a five dollar bill. I threw it at him " Get me one, too!"

He shook his head and reached over to ruffle my hair " Renee is going to be pissed. I know Carlisle liked your long hair, when you were little he hated when Renee got you that short chin cut."

I pointed my thumb at Alice and Rosalie, who were otherwise occupied " Their idea."

" I like it." he said before getting up to leave.

" His dad? Why would his dad care? Are you having an affair with him, Bella." Tyler teased with a laugh. All the other guys laughed along with him.

" So fucking immature. No, I am not dating his father you jackass. Our families are really close not that it's any of your buisness."

He made his hand like a claw and waved it in my face. Is he gay?

" Fuck off." I gound out as Edward came back to the table.

" Chill it, Izzy." he said, handing me my drink and a few dimes as the change.

" You'd say the same thing. He asked me if I was having an affair with Carlisle!" I exclaimed.

He spat out his drink on the table, choking on the brown pop that splattered on the table.

" What the fuck guys. Thats discusting." he said, cleaning off the table with a napkin.

" You both have no sense of humor." Tyler said, taking a bit of his hot dog.

" It's not even funny." I grumbled, eating a fry and sipping my drink.

Quickly I pulled back from the drink. It was a discusting mixture of sprite and coke. Which was something Edward probably did on purpose. My face scrunched up and I swallowed regretfully

" What the hell? That's gross."

Edward laughed and gave me the other drink " I like the look on your face."

I flipped him the bird and drank down the regular Coke that he handed me.

He pushed my finger down " Watch that finger and your mouth little miss. Don't want me to tell Charlie of your language."

" I kn-"

" LETS GO!" Alice yelled

" Were already done though."

" Emmett, Jasper, Rose and I really want to go bowling. And you got a ride from me, so lets go."

" Bowling?" I whined " Guys, you know I can't bowl."

Edward cleared his throat " She can stick with me, you guys can go."

Alice and Rose frowned " Alright. We'll drop your bags off at your house for ya."

" You guys really dont have to do tha-"

Alice had already scooped up my many bags and was running out of the food court. I stood up and looked towards her, watching her graceful run between the many tables and chairs.

" ALICE!" I shouted.

She just laughed maniacally and kept running. People's attention was averted to her, but she didn't seem to notice. I sunk back into my chair and sipped the coke. Edward chuckled and draped his arm around the back of the chair, his finger lightly grazing my arm.

Fuck those sparks are just crackling.

Edward continued to talk to his buddies. Talking about girls and strategy for the games. Tyler was talking about his nightly session with Lauren Mallory. Apparently Lauren's parents think that Tyler is a 'bad influence', but if they only knew how many guys she had had sex with. She probably has more STD's then she can count on her fingers.

As the sky got darker and they announced the mall was closing in a half hour, it was time for us to go. Edward said goodbye to his friends and we walked closely together back to the car.

" What were you thinking about so hard when Tyler was talking about Lauren?"

I couldn't help the bubble of laughter that escaped me " She probably has more STD's then she can count."

His jaw dropped and he smacked my arm lightly, smiling a small smile " Isabella Swan."

" What? You know it's true."

" That's really mean. She is Tanya's great friend."

" Come on, Edward. You know it is."

He rolled his eyes " Just don't have sex with Tyler."

" Ew that's gross. I would never lose it to him."

"Who will you lose it to? I mean you had one little closet adventure with Mike Newton, but it's not like anything happen. And you avoid any guy at all costs."

I stared at him " Are you seriously asking me that. Since when have you been intested in when the Virgin status will change... Or has changed."

" No, that's just... Bella, promise me that you won't lose it to some highschool guy."

" Just because you didn't have the best experiance, doesn't mean it would be the same for me."

" I can't even picture you.. Just no."

" Are you picturing me having sex. Gross, Edward. What would your parents think."

He cringed " Promise me you won't date until your thirty."

I shook my head " Edward, I want a husband and kids by the time I am thirty."

I want kids with you. Beautiful little Edward's.

" Yeah, if I approve of the guy."

" I will marry who I wish, and I will have lots of kids with him."

He snorted " When I have my son first, I can get the name."

" NO!" I shouted " Not fair. I wanted that name for my first boy."

" We'll see who has a boy first."

" Maybe you should re-name yourself. After all, your name is Greek, not british."

" Well yours is Italian."

I shrugged " Whatevers. Let's get home."

" Oh, we are riding to school on my bike on Monday."

I scoffed " Edward, your Schwinn Stringray bike is way to small for both of us to fit on it."

He rolled his eyes at my sarcasm " You and your sarcasticness. If you keep acting like that then you will have to walk."

" Yes, sir."

We got into the car and Edward started the car up. I heard the familar click as I got my seatbelt on. Edward shot me a smile before pulling out of the big parking lot and getting in the highway back home.

He ran a hand through his hair and rested it on the console " So, since we were speaking of guys, James has been telling people that you two are dating."

I sighed and shook my head " Awhile back when I was working a shift he greeted me. I just ran away in embarassment." I stated " I am not dating him. Nor will I ever. He's a nice guy but he is not in my plans."

" What kind of plans?"

" Graduating, going to college, getting a job. And maybe a guy inbetween that. I don't want some silly highschool relationship that I know wont last. Why go through the heartbreak. It's highschool."

The look on his face made me scan over my words.

Him and Tanya.

Highschool Relationship.

I hated her, but I had to fix it.

" Edward, I didn't mean it like that. I meant it for me, not you. You an-"

" No need to elaborate, Bella. It's okay."

I nodded and leaned back in the leather seat, slapping my forehead. What an idiot I am.

----

Upon reaching home all of my bags from shopping were in the foyer. The house was dark and quiet as I trudged up the stairs with the many bags. When I reached the hallway I walked slowly and opened up my bedroom door. I switched on the light and shut the door. My bags spilled onto my bed and I sighed.

Since I was tired I just set everything on the floor and decided to de-tag all my clothes later. I changed into my pajama's and laid in my now full sized bed. My purple walls made my room look darker, making it easier to sleep. My sheets and comforter was the same, luckily I found the same set in a bigger size.

I heard a small tap on my window and sat up, looking to my left since my bed was on a new angle. Slowly my window slid open and Edward's tall form slipped into my room gracefully. He shut the window, and I saw he was wearing his pajama's.

" I just saw you." I stated.

" It's Friday."

" The cot is gone. Charlie took it to the dump last week." I whispered.

He hopped onto my bed sloppily and got under the covers.

" Well then I guess your stuck with me in your bed. This pillow-top mattress is really nice by the way."

I shifted around so I was laying on my back on the right side of the bed.

" Thanks."

He turned on his side, facing me and shut his eyes. About five minutes later his breathing evened out and he was asleep. I stared at him as he slept, looking so peaceful. His face was completely relaxed as his bronze hair fell in his face. I sat up slightly, using my hand to hold up my head.

Without much thought I reached forward, running my pointer finger down his jaw. It was hard, but soft at the same time. His skin was warm, comforting. I rested my head on my pillow and turned my hand over, brushing my knuckles lightly against his cheekbone. His head suddenly pressed against my hand and his hand reached up to grab my wrist.

I was so sure he had woken, but all he did was rest the side of his face against my palm. His arms basically hugged my arm to him, securing my hand to his face. I moved my head close to his, looking down at him, whispering the words that I know knew would hurt me further, but couldn't stop from escaping.

" I love you."

Authors Note-

Before you ask, no, Edward didn't hear her. Fast asleep. I don't know if you all think this is quick, but feelings develope fast. Picture liking/crushing for four years. Love is bound to happen with Bella whether she likes it or not.

Links for some of Bella's shopping clothes are in my profile, at the wayy bottom where it's under 'AMBIVALENCE LINKS'

And before you ask...I will not tell you the name they were talking about!