Chapter 9

This is how the heart breaks

Clare held onto the metal bars of the hospital gurney. "If for some reason,I don't make it..." Clare stared at Adam,Ally,her mom,dad and Eli around her. "Adam I knit you a sweater it's in my closet,Ally you can have all my clothes and my jewelry.

My dirty fanfiction is on the pink lab top under my bed,delete it,delete all of it. & Eli my journal,the one you wanted to read is under my mattress,and the edited english assignment is also on the pink labtop...the password is vampire94" She smiled fakely,thinking she might not ever see them again,well she would,but heaven was pretty far away. She hugged each and every one of them.

"You're going to make it,and you're going to grow old,Clare." Adam said,it was encouraging. Her mother kept blotting her tears with her kleenex,as her dad struggled to look at her."I love you baby." Her father said,before jogging quickly to the waiting room with her mother,outside the OR. "Clare I'll see when you get out okay?" Adam shook her shoulder,and went out. "I love you and I'll let you...two alone." Ally bit her lip nervously.

"Don't say anything,don't say goodbye,because you're going to make it,you're going to be fine and I'm going to drag you to prom,and kiss you on a freshly lit rain dewed football field with everyone watching. You're going to make it,so don't say anything." Clare took a deep breath. "Stay amazing Eli,okay?" She said,as the doctor walked in with a clip board.

"Okay Clare" She laid back in her bed as the anesthesia was drawn into her IV. "Okay Clare,count backwards from 100 for me."
"100,99,98,97" She fell into a deep sleep.

Eli paced back and fourth in the waiting room,a TV blasting,people crying finding out they just lost their loved one. It was like deja vu for him. He thought back to his dad,and fell on the large chair,his hands being used to support his head. "Get a hold of yourself Eli!"

"Water?" Adam asked,walking over to him. "It's going to be a while." Eli swiped the water bottle from Adam,as he stared straight out. "Look,I know I'm not your favorite person,and I know you probably don't want to talk to me right now,but I've never seen Clare like this,so happy with you around,feeling challenged in a good way,bubbly,and not thinking about well you know. Her last boyfriend was boring and he was an ass hole."

Adam sat on the chair in front of him. "I was so jealous of you,because you were doing everything I couldn't. I mean I'm there for her,to comfort her,be a friend,but I could never let myself fall entirely for her. She's dying,and I can't deal with that."

Eli rolled his eyes. "Death is just part of life Adam,yeah it sucks and I hate to see her suffering and feeling like that,and I would like more than anything to take on her burdens,but I can't,so don't lecture me right now,because it's not going to change the fact, That she is in there,asleep on a metal table,while someone is breaking her rib cage open,trying to fix that burden."

Eli dropped the water bottle on the table. Adam's mouth dropped open. "I need air." Eli said,grabbing his jacket,going out the automatic doors.

He cursed at the sky,finding himself in the same place as he was before. "Damn it! I don't want to lose her." He muttered,falling onto the cold bench. "yeah,that's going to make all the difference..." A voice stopped him mid thought. "Mr Edwards?" Eli asked. Mr Edwards,dropped his cigarette in an ash tray and took the seat next to Eli. "You don't know how many times,I swore at the sky,yelling why me. I've just come to realize no one hears me." Eli turned to face him.

"I screwed up my baby Eli. I did drugs so heavy,before Clare was conceived. I'm the one responsible for the heart defects,and that's why I can't look at her without,feeling guilty,without wanting to kill myself for making her go through this." Eli swallowed,unsure of what to say. Part of him wanted to beat him up,but the logical part of him told him there was nothing he could do about the past.

"I'm sorry" Eli said. He didn't really know what else to say. "If my baby dies in there,it's on me." Mr Edwards said and walked off. "Shit" Eli exclaimed in disbelief of the conversation. Did Clare know that? Did her mother know that? He ran for the woods and let out an awful scream.

Clare laid on the operating table,the doctors hovering over her body. "Wow,that's worse than expected" A surgeon said. The monitor stopped flat lining,as Clare went into cardiac arrest. "We're losing her!" A doctor yelled. "suction!" Another one called. They worked on her for more than 15 minutes,finally reviving her.

"beep beep,beep beep" "We have a pulse!" One exclaimed.

A surgeon walked out into the waiting room. "Can I talk to the parents of Clare Edwards?" Mrs Edwards stood up,as did her husband. "Clare suffered cardiac arrest during surgery,and flat lined. Now we've brought her back. She is stable,but..." Mrs Edwards covered her face,as the tears fell down.

"What's the but?" Mr Edwards asked. "We couldn't close the hole,it's much to fragile. We're looking at a transplant" Mrs Edwards gasped,as Ally walked in to comfort her. "I can't lose her!" She yelled,falling into her husbands chest. His arms stayed by his side,as guilt drew into his eyes.

"The important thing is to find a donor,and a match" Mr Edwards shut his eyes and opened them,as if he was trying to suppress his tears.

"Where do I sign up?" He asked,walking over to the doctor. "Mr Edwards that's probably one the greatest sacrifices I've ever seen in all my years as a surgeon,but I fear your heart would not be a match."

"What about me?" Eli asked,walking into the waiting room. "you've got to be f-ing kidding me!" Adam exclaimed covering his face. "You can't be serious?" Eli smirked. "just asking a question,no need to assume anything."

The doctor looked at Eli. "I'm speechless" He said. "Before you go switching hearts with her,let me try to find a suitable donor." The doctor said. Eli nodded. "Right now,family support,friend,spiritual support,whatever support you can offer is needed. She needs to keep light with her activities,and not run around so much,or exasperate herself." The doctor nodded. "you can see her in an hour or so. She needs her rest."

Adam gulped,looking at Eli. "Were you seriously going to..." He couldn't form words. "I was just asking about it."

Adam pulled him aside into the waiting room. "When you said take on her burdens,you weren't kidding,you've fallen in love with her!" Adam yelled a little too loudly,causing everyone to stop and stare at Eli.

Eli looked around,before closing the door. "Just shup up okay,you've been her friend all these years,yet you didn't offer." Adam's eyes went stiff. "I can't even begin to process anything right now." He said,and walked off.

* 2 hours later*

"She's awake! If you want to come back?" The doctor exclaimed. Everyone followed him into the hospital room. "Maybe it's best if one of you go in at a time." He suggested.

"Eli,can I talk to you?" Eli looked at Mr Edwards. "sure!" Eli said,as they walked into the hallway. "What I said in my moment of stress,I'm really hoping you can overlook and not tell anyone. I don't want to upset Clare anymore." Eli rolled his eyes.

"I can't promise that,sir" He said,and walked back to the hospital room.

"Hey,looks who's awake!" Eli exclaimed,sitting on the chair next to her. "The doctors are telling me I flat lined in there,and need a heart transplant..."

Not the best conversation starter,Eli thought. "They also are telling me,that Dad and you volunteered." Eli nodded slowly. "yup" he said,nervously.

"Why would you do that?" Clare asked,the blue of her eyes locked into his. "I couldn't afford to flunk english,so whatever it takes to maintain that B average." Clare rolled her eyes,and smiled slightly.

"That's a relief,I thought you were going to tell me,because you were in love with me,or something like that." Eli swollowed hard. "Please,Edwards I don't fall in love that easily." He put air quotes around fall in love,and leaned back in the chair.

to be continued...

Wow! I do realize that was uber dramatic,hopefully you liked it and didn't cry :)

xox