Authors Note- READ END NOTES!

Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.

Chapter Song- The Kill by: 30 Seconds to Mars

August 10th

Thursday

BPOV

" The Muse concert is this Sunday." I stated.

Edward smiled just the slighest and I was glad that I could get his spirits up.

" And since the new Album came out July 11th, it's a bonus. And the Muscle Museum/Showbiz." I said, refering to the Black Holes and Revelations album, along with the Origin of Symmetry/Showbiz/Absolution/Black Holes and Revelations.

He chuckled " Excited?"

" You're still going with me right?"

With a sharp nod, he laid on his back, stuffing his face into the white comforter of his bed. I took a seat in his desk chair, leaning back.

My symptoms had been slowly easing away, I was able to keep meals down more often and my headache's weren't as severe as they were. The nausea wasn't gone completely, but aslong as I kept my mind off food, then I was fine.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I hate this room."

" Why?"

He pointed to the middle of his room, the exact place where both Edward and Tanya declared their love for one another. I hated that place too, and this room. That bed was where I realized that I was in love with him. I sighed, leaning back further in the desk chair.

" What?! I just can't fucking stand it in here." he said angrily, throwing his pillow at the wall.

We headed downstairs, standing in the living room as Edward looked for a movie for us to watch. He picked up a movie, showing the cover to me and laughing. Holy shit, was that...porn? I took a step back laughter escaping me.

" Is...Is th-that porn?" I stuttered out between laughter

Edward nodded and laughed.

I backed up more, tripping over the back of the rug. I started to fall straight into the small glass table. Everything seemed to happen really quickly. I tried to grab the runner on the table, but dragged it down with me. The vase filled with pink rose's, rocks and water spilled over, the water splashing all over my shirt as I fell to the ground with the shards of glass all around me

First, Edward laughed, he laughed so hard that I saw tears leaking from the corner of his eyes. He stood from his spot on the floor, his eyes trained on my bicep. I could almost smell the salt and rust.

" MOM!!"

Carlisle stood in the dim lit kitchen, picking out the small peices of glass in my arm. There was a bowl next to him, a little water in it and he was dropping the bloody gauze into it. He had tools to stitch up the cut in my arm, and fabric to wrap around my arm.

" How did you do this again?"

" I saw something funny, laughed, walked backwards into the table and kaboom." I said, clearly exasperated

" Darling, I think we need to wrap you in bubble wrap for the rest of your life." he said in his thick accent.

I nodded and winced as he plucked another peice from my arm. Finally he put the tool down and started to stitch it up with the needle. He let out a deep sigh and chuckled down at my cut.

" I can only imagine how upset Edward was. He always cried when you got hurt, yet you were the strong one. When you first broke your arm at six, I remember seeing him at your hospital bed, full blown sobs wracking his little six-year-old self. I swear that boy is going to be protective of you until your dying day."

I sighed " It's a pain having a shadow sometimes, but I love him as stupid as he is."

" More like blind." I heard Carlisle mutter.

Panic...

Carlisle didn't know...did he? Was I seriously that obvious? I decided to just say nothing, why start up something and stress more over somebody other then James Laurent knowing, but it's not like a big deal that he knows, he's moving to London to go to a private school.

And the guys at Chicago Dough, the only one that I think would slip is Seth. He always does it, all the time. I think that Hayden would be too much of a chicken shit, and the guys wouldn't say anything unless I did something to piss them off.

He patched me up nicely and took out a match, striking it across the bottom of the cardboard folder. It lit up and he set it in the bowl, the bloody gauze burning. He sprayed my arm and wrapped the white bandage like material around my bicep.

" Now you've got yourself a good few weeks with this thing. Tomorrow I want you to come by the hospital so I can take an x-ray of your head, stop by in the afternoon." he said, grabbing the bowl that was now all ashes. He dumped the ashes into the trash and put the bowl in the dish washer.

I hopped off the table, dragging my sleeve over my arm. Esme came into the room, smiling at me.

" Darling, I think bubble wrap would be a great solution to you."

" You are not the only one who thinks as such." I said, motioning to Carlisle, who laughed.

He wrapped his arm around Esme's waist, kissing her temple lovingly. She smiled up at him, kissing his jaw in return. That was the kind of love that I wanted. Endless love, like my parents and Esme and Carlisle. I smiled at them and scratched the back of my neck.

" Well, I am going to go find Edward. He deserves an ass whipping for laughing at me." I said, skipping off.

" LANGUAGE!" they both yelled after me.

I laughed, darting up the stairs to the top floor. I knocked on Edward's door once before opening it. He didn't even notice my presence as he sat on the edge of his white cot, reading a book. I darted forward quickly towards him, pouncing infront of him and pushing him back with my arm against his neck. He fell back with a 'hmpf ', and I was kneeling between his legs.

" What's that for."

I smacked his chest, " For laughing at me when I got hurt."

I stood from my awkward spot and walked over to his bed, yawning and laying down.

" You haven't crashed here since last summer." he noted, not taking his eyes from his book.

The remote was laying on his table, so I switched it on, putting the volume on low and turned a movie on, which was 'The Notebook'. Edward groaned, clearly not liking the movie that I picked out. He deserved it for laughing at me.

" Can you please change it."

" Shh."

With my shoes thrown on the plush carpet, I wiggled my body under the fluffy covers, buring my face in Edward's pillow. Man did he smell good. Cinnamon, musk and boy. I sighed in contentment, breathing his scent in.

I listened to the movie more then I actually watched it. At some point I must of fallen asleep because I could feel Edward scooting me over. He was the person who liked to sleep on a certain side of a bed, and left was his side, as was mine. I could give it up for him, or go sleep on the cot. Bed was a good option.

" Come on, Isabella. Move your ass over."

He pushed against me, making me push back. I was too warm where I was at the moment. I felt his arms snake under my body, making me shudder. He lifted me slightly, and launched me over to the other side. I squealed loudly, and turned so I wouldn't land on my right bicep.

" So heavy." he grumbled, hopping into bed. I reached over and slapped his arm as hard as I could. I felt my hand sting from the slap.

" OW! Bella! That fucking hurt." he yelled.

" Never comment on a girls weight."

" Sorry," he complained, rolling onto his side.

I laid on my side, our backs facing, and shut my eyes tightly, willing myself to fall asleep.

" Please...Do-...Don't do this...Please... I love...I."

I was awoken by talking and thrashing. Edward was talking and moving frantically in his sleep, his legs hitting against mine in his movements. I wiped my eyes and yawned, leaning over to look at Edward's distressed body. He was having a nightmare, and it seemed to be about the night of the charity.

His flying hand was waving towards my head, and I dodged it.

My hand gently rested on his shoulder, shaking him awake. He thrashed harder and I whispered his name in his ear, sweeping his damp matted hair aside, finally he stilled. I watched him warily as he suddenly shot up, tears streaming down his face, along with sweat.

I sat up, leaning against the headboard as he sit up, hunched over and shaking. I leaned over, wrapping my arms around him and letting his head rest in my lap. I ran my fingers through his hair.

" It's okay, Edward." I said quietly, leaning down to kiss his temple. He flinched, making my heart clench.

" Why couldn't I just be enough?" he asked.

" Edward, you are enough. Your more then anybody deserves." I answered

He dragged the back of his hand over his face, wiping the tears.

" That doesn't make me feel better."

Fuck, I was tired of the whining and truthfully, seeing him so upset over a girl, made me upset. I huffed, sitting straighter. I moved my hands and he shifted, looking up at me.

" Look, Edward, Tanya is a selfish, conceited, bitch. And if she is screwing someone else because you wouldn't have sex with her, it shows that she has no restraint and that is all she wants. She doesn't want a stable relationship, she wants a guy that she can show off. And thinking you aren't good enough...Edward you are twenty times better then her. You have value's, you have class, and you were raised with respect, something she has no idea what it is!" I exclaimed.

That made him shoot up. I stood up from his bed, my jeans all wrinkled. I grabbed my hoodie from his desk chair, knowing he would blow if I didn't leave.

" What fucking right do you have talking about her like that?" He asked, anger seeping into his voice.

" You know it's true, Edward. And I know it hurts, I know that your feelings are hurt. But I won't have this, I won't deal with how you are acting. One minute you are smiling and the next you look like you want to die. I am trying to be here for you as much as I can, but if you are always going to be like this over her then I obviously can't help you."

He scoffed " You know that my feelings are hurt, you don't know how I feel."

SHIT! I just wanted to scream at him that I felt bad when I saw my best friend loving someone else, when I wanted him to love me.

" Well, Edward, maybe I do. Maybe I have been hurt because of reasons that you are unaware of. Don't for one second believe you aren't the only one in the world, the only one who is hurt by a girlfriend, or a friend. Your not, and I understand that you are hurt, but I'll just give you space, give you time. Then, when you can somewhat get over this, you can feel free to come talk to me." I said calmly.

" What about the concert?"

" What about it?"

He sighed, running a hand through his hair " Just go without me, ask James. I bet he'd love to go with you, since obviously you enjoy eachothers company."

Okay, that pissed me off, but I felt more hurt then angry.

" I-I-.." my voice broke off

I walked out of his room, closing the door and running down the stairs. It was only eight thirty, which was surprising to me, we had only slept about fourty five minutes. I walked out the front door, locking it up and walking towards my house, absolutely pissed.

When I reached home, my parents were laying on the couch together. I slammed the front door, running upstairs to my bedroom. They called my name, and I ignored them, going into my room and locking my door.

I paced and paced, then paced some more. My hand was running through my hair and pinching the bridge of my nose.

I was turning into Edward.

I stared at the concert tickets, that were mocking me. I didn't want to take James, I wanted to take Edward, and I had no clue as to if James was already in London. But I couldn't just run to Edward, giving him the satisfaction.

Jasper and Emmett weren't interested in the band, Alice wasn't either. And Rose was not an option. I felt bad about it, but I decided to go by myself, the lone ticket could sit alone and I would have a fine time by myself.

" I just want you to be careful, it's going to be crazy and alot of stop and go." my father informed me.

" I know, okay. I promise to be careful, you don't have to remind me every five minutes."

He took a long drink from his coffee, looking up from the Sunday paper.

"Would you like me to join you?"

" Can you please trust me. I. Will. Be. Fine."

Finally he said nothing about it, and kept on reading the paper. I finished up my muffin and orange juice and headed upstairs to get my clothes picked out, along with my bag so I wouldn't have to do it later. I didn't want to bring much, because I didn't want to loose anything.

I hadn't heard from Edward, but it had only been a few days and he had probably been pissed. I knew that he would be pissed at me for a little while, but he would come around. I had to trust that he eventually would. I didn't like fighting with him, but sometimes, you have got to do, what you got to do.

When we were younger, being apart for a day was never an option, we always saw eachother. Now that we are older, we just branch out, and I didn't like that feeling. The feeling that someday we would be apart and not have time for one another. I always wanted him in my life, even if he didn't want me as more then a friend.

One of these days, I would tell him, and there could be two outcomes. One: I would be completely crushed when being rejected. Two: I would smile in happiness, holding him in my arms. I was hoping for option two.

I picked up my ticket, glancing at the seat. I would be in section 202, Row: A, Seat:20. Edward would of been on my left if he had gone with me. I sighed, stuffing it into my bag and leaving the other ticket on the desk.

The concert was starting at 8:00pm, and I got into the shower at five thirty. I was going to wear my Muse concert t-shirt that I got when I was fourteen. It was a light blue and had the band members in the middle, Muse stamped infront of it. It was snug fitting and I matched it with a pair of black skinny jeans and wedges. I slipped my bracelet off, setting it down on the bathroom sink. I didn't want to lose it, Edward would flip his shit if I did. I draped my skull necklaces around my neck and pulled my pair back into a ponytail. My make-up was darker, but I didn't exactly care.

At six fifteen, I was all ready.

" I'm leaving!" I called.

" BE CAREFUL AND CALL WHEN YOU GET THERE!" I heard my mother shout from the backdoor, she must have been gardening with Esme.

I grabbed my keys and my bag, skipping down the stairs with excitement. Sure, I was going alone, but I wouldn't let that get me down. As an impulse, my head turned to the Cullen's home, and I was surprised to see Edward sitting on the porch steps, reading a book, paying to attention to anything else.

I hopped into my car, shutting the door and popping in my Muse cd. I rolled the windows down slightly, pulling out of the driveway.

Stop and go.

Stop and go.

Stop and fucking go.

CAN'T I JUST GO!

I was frusterated being surrounded by all the people that weren't moving at the pace I wished. People were cutting me off, making it tempting to flip the bird at them. My finger flipping and yelling was all in my head.

As I passed a resturaunt, I saw the All State Arena on my left. It was so busy, but this was Muse, everybody loved Muse. I worked my car through the crowd, finding a parking space that was far, by it was the first row when you walk out of the doors, parked on the left. I put up my ticket for my space, I had paid for it and all, and hopped out of my car, making sure it was locked.

I gripped my bag and walked towards the enterance. 101.9 had a set up on the side and music was playing loudly. There were girls walking around, short dresses and fooling around. I saw one flashing some guy in a car. No value's.

When I got inside, it was crazy, but expected. Forward to the left there were stairs that I had to climb. I think there was four flights. Over to my left, they were selling t-shirts. I bounced over, getting in line.

I took out cash, having two hundred dollars. I wanted to get Edward a shirt anyways, because I didn't want him to think I forgot about him. I wanted him to go with me, but with the conflict and his comment, that was the reason I didn't want him to go. Maybe he needed to learn that if he was going to act like an ass, he would be excluded.

The shirt I got was black, and Muse was in graffiti lettering with blue, orange, yellow and green for each letter. The back said 'Black Holes and Revalations Tour' on the back in white sprayed looking letters. Under the lettering in the back was the group in a signature position.

The one I got for Edward was the actual concert tee, with the different states they were playing at in the back, lined in two rows. He always liked the originals, and I knew that he would love this one.

When I heard a noise coming from above, I moved as quickly as possible. I darted up the four flights of stairs, upon reaching the top, I could see men checking tickets, making sure none were fake. Two police officers standing by the stairs.

" Isabella Swan! The Chiefs daughter, right?" I heard a low voice say.

Looking up I saw a man, he had bronze skin, dark almond shaped eyes and cropped hair. He was wearing a sheriff uniform. His gold nametag read; Billy Black.

I looked at him hesitantly " Yeah, I'm Isabella..."

He chuckled " Your accent is even deeper then your fathers. I'm Billy Black, I work with your dad. He talks endlessly about you, even has a picture of you and your mother."

Realization struck a little " Do you have twin daughters may I ask? Rachel and Rebecca."

That had been sophmores last year and I had seen them around once and awhile. Alice had apparently used to play with them when she was younger, but they grew apart when they both got into different activities and Alice focused more on Jasper and her school work.

Rachel had light blonde hair and blue eyes, and Rebecca had a light brown hair and the same blue eyes. They were both about the same in size, slim and a little short. Rachel was a flyer on the cheer squad team, and I think she used to be friends with Jessica. Rebecca was really into her studies, she was in alot of the school clubs.

A smile spread across his face " Yes they are. My son Jacob will be a Freshmen this year, just turned fourteen."

" Cool..."

" Okay, well I won't keep you, enjoy your night. Be careful."

I smiled " Thanks, you also."

I found the stairs that had 'A' spray painted in white. The guy checked over my ticket, approving me and I went all the way down the stairs until I saw the railing. When I found seat 20 off to the right, I sat down, seeing that I was basically right there infront of the stage, just up high. I kept my bag in my lap, not going to risk someone stealing it.

" Oh, baby don't you know I suffer?

Oh, baby can you hear me moan?

You caught me under false pretenses.

How long until you let me go?

Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, you set my soul alight.

Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, you set my soul alight

Glaciers melting in the dead of night,

and the superstars are sucked into

the supermassive.

Glaciers melting in the dead of night,

and the superstars and sucked into

the supermassive."

The music was just amazing seeing it live, rather then listening to it on an iPod, or watching the music video on youtube. I was silently singing along, though there was a girl behind me, standing on her seat, wearing a tight tube top, showing her stomach, and a short skirt, screaming the lyrics out. I had a bit of a headache, the pain from the crack still lingering like Carlisle informed me, but I tried to ignore it.

The lead singer, Matthew Bellamy, was absolutely great performing live, just as good as he is on a cd.

I enjoyed the concert to it's fullest. Loving every song, including Starlight, Nights of Cydonia, Glorious, Take a Bow, Soliders Poem and all the others. Starlight was the best one performed, it was entracing by the music and blaring lights, it all just caught my attention.

When they ended, smoke shot up around the stage and confetti fell from the ceiling somewhere. . Lights were blaring around and the noise got louder and louder, people sad to see the concert end. It was a good three hours long.

Slowly the smoke faded and the lights stop, the room filling up with regular lights just so people could file out. I stood for a good fifteen minutes until I could actually get out. I walked up the stairs, getting pushed and shoved. I got out alive, barely, and darted down the stairs.

When I got outside, I took a deep breath of the cool summer air. My head was pounding in pain, but it had been worth it.

I quickly got to my car, wanting to get out as quick as I could, but that was a lost cause. There was someone parked behind me, on both sides of me, and a line of cars infront of me. I was completely boxed in.

After literally a half hour, I wormed out, cutting someone off, but laughing because she was in total battle with me. I hopped onto the highway after getting out of the parking lot. Full of girls in short dresses and flashing guys.

When I got home, my father had waited up for me, making sure I was home safe. It was midnight by the time I walked through the door, I was yawning. I mumbled a goodnight to my father and trudged up the stairs to my bedroom.

I got into my room, and didn't bother with the light. I put my stuff down and shrugged out of my clothes, my shirt, jeans and shoes strayed around my bedroom. I slipped my bra off and went to my drawers, I just grabbed what I did, which was a tanktop. I put it on, not bothering with pants and jumped into bed.

Tomorrow, I decided, I would go for a run in the morning.

More like afternoon.

I awoke, yawning and stretching all over my bed. When I felt the warmth of the sun on my skin, I sighed. I wished to feel the warmth of Edward's arms wrapped tightly around me. With one last yawn, I got up from my bed and slipped on a pair of shorts, walking downstairs in my tanktop and shorts.

Nobody was home, and it was very quiet. I grabbed an apple from the fridge, and poured a glass of water. I drowned the water and ate the apple before heading upstairs. I threw my hair up and grabbed my iPod, switching it on and heading downstairs.

When I got outside, it was quite hot outside. I went left, starting out in a jog.

My thoughts wandered to Edward as they always did.

I was so fucking tired of fighting with him. How far was it supposed to get us if we were constantly fighting with eachother? Not far at all. I missed doing so many things with him. Watching movies and playing video games in his basement, spending time with our friends regularly. And I think the weekend dinners were completely gone.

Finally, I just missed who he used to be. Edward never had that edge like he does now. He was constantly sweet and caring, no matter what. And when it came to the break-up, I understood that he needs time. Everybody needs time, but in that time, I didn't want him acting upset towards me.

The comments of Tanya probably should of been kept to myself, and I was probably better off not talking about her. At all.

I had been trying to get his attention, but now I realize, that this is who I am.

Authors Note-

Okay, I know that it is late Wednesday, and I failed to update Tuesday. RL has been very bad for me, and I have tried to look past it but yesterday had gone very badly and I was in the ER. I hope you all can understand, I really hate not being able to update, but yesterday I couldn't get to the computer. I love all of you guys for all the reviews, I appreciate them more then you all know.

ALSO!!!!

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