Chapter 17
Lexi cried when Kelly eventually climbed down from the Squad...she was having so much fun "driving".
"Oh...come here, Sweetie..." Shay said as she held out her hands to take her new "niece". "Come tell Aunt Leslie all your troubles..."
Kelly passed the baby over and Shay bounced Lexi in her arms...making silly faces till the little girl eventually cracked a smile.
"I know, Sweetie..." she said. "They just don't understand."
Severide rolled his eyes at his best friend.
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Casey was watching the scene with one arm around each of the twins.
"Hey...Candidate!" he called over his shoulder.
Declan came running over and stood at attention in front of his Lieutenant.
"Yes, Sir?"
Casey grinned and looked down at his nephews.
"Time to work on your leadership skills." he told Declan seriously. "I'm putting you in charge of these two "Junior Candidates". Get that truck cleaned up...and I want to be able to use that chrome as a shaving mirror..."
Andy and Jesse grinned. They had been polishing the chrome on Truck 81 since they were about four. Uncle Matt always gave them that job to do...and they knew the drill.
Having Cousin Declan "supervise" them was a new twist.
"On it, Sir!" Declan said.
Then he looked at his cousins.
"All right, men...you heard the Lieutenant. We've got work to do."
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The twins scampered off with Declan right behind them. And Casey chuckled to himself as he watched them go.
"Okay...he said, coming up to Shay. "No fair hogging the baby..."
He reached out and took Lexi from her and tossed the little girl into the air. Lexi squealed with delight as Matt caught her in his arms.
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Severide watched his kids mingling around with their aunts and uncles and he smiled with satisfaction. Throwing his arm around his wife, he led Alyssa over to the ugly green recliner beside Squad's sacred table and flopped down into it.
He pulled her into his lap.
"How's it goin' at home?" he asked quietly.
The last two weeks had been a blur of activity...going out and getting all the things Lexi needed...taking her to their pediatrician to establish care...signing her up for parent/infant swim lessons. Plus they had to get the other kids activities lined up for the summer.
Andy and Jesse were doing six weeks of basketball camp over at the Y...then in August they were doing two weeks of football camp. That would keep them busy...and Kelly had made a deal with Vargas to take them when he was on shift...so that way Alyssa didn't have to put the girls in the car twice a day and drive the boys to their activities.
Then Mouch had approached them with a two week "Discovery Camp" at the children's museum. It was called "Storybook Adventures" and the same people who had put that Storybook Garden exhibit together were promising "two weeks of fun-filled activities for three to six year olds, based on your favorite stories and characters." So Uncle Mouch was going to take her from ten to twelve-thirty and see what that was all about. If it went well there were other programs they might want to try.
Kelly was worried about Alyssa...she still hadn't gone to the doctor about her arm. On the one hand, he knew she was avoiding the issue...and he knew why. How many times had he done the same thing with his knee? When it started acting up, they just doctored it at home...wrapping it, icing it...keeping it elevated. He didn't want to know what was going on inside...and more importantly...he didn't want it in his medical record with the department.
But that didn't mean he liked his wife doing the same thing. They'd had a couple of little skirmishes about it...and right now they were at a standstill.
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"It's okay..." she answered just as softly. "The boys are helping."
Kelly had had a long talk with his sons about stepping up to the plate and helping their mom. Good to see it was working.
"Are you gonna tell me what happened?" she asked. "Or am I gonna read about it in the paper tomorrow?"
Kelly sighed.
"We got a call...big accident...and I just needed to see the kids."
It all came back to that processing issue...most of the time Severide was able to compartmentalize things...and the things he saw on the job didn't necessarily hit him where he lived. But when they involved kids...and especially when they reminded him of his own...it was harder to stuff it down inside.
Alyssa settled deeper into his arms.
She understood. Kelly was the most incredible man she'd ever met...and a dozen years together drove that fact home on a daily basis. He might come off as rough and tough...even cocky...but he felt things more deeply and took things more to heart than anybody realized. He had a rock solid sense of right and wrong...and he couldn't stand to see someone put down or belittled. He hated bullies with a passion and he'd go toe to toe with anyone he saw trying to make themselves look big at the expense of someone else.
So she didn't press him for details about the call. She had a feeling she would be reading about it in the paper .
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It was summertime in Chicago...and the kids were almost done with school for the year. Every day was a different event...and every day he wasn't working Kelly was going down to either the elementary school or the preschool for some activity or another. He helped out at field day...and went along for Maggie's class picnic. It was fun...and these were the things he loved the most about being a dad. His father had never been around for stuff when he was a kid so it was important that he was at every one of his kids things that he could possibly be.
And if he couldn't be there...he made damn sure somebody else was. If it was an activity where the families were invited to participate, Andy and Jesse and Maggie had someone there for them. Usually more than one someone.
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But as good as things were for their family...other people were struggling.
It had been almost three months since Mills an Dawson had split up...and after so long together...it was like a divorce. There was a lot more involved than just packing things up and going their separate ways.
Mills just couldn't seem to move on. Not that there was any timetable for stuff like this...but he seemed to be sinking deeper and deeper into the funk he was in. He went to work...and he went home. He didn't come to the twins' baseball games...he quit Station 51's champion softball team. He quit coming to poker night...and he hadn't been down to Molly's since March.
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One night Kelly was awakened by his phone buzzing and vibrating across the nightstand. He kept it on vibrate so it didn't wake Lexi. They still had her sleeping in their room...but they were trying to have her and Maggie together for naps and looking toward making the more permanent transition.
He groped for the offending object and accepted the call.
"Yeah..." he said groggily.
He listened to the frantic caller at the other end of the line.
"Dawson? What the hell? What time is it?"
Alyssa was wide awake beside him.
"It's two thirty in the morning..." she whispered.
"What's goin' on?" he asked.
He held the phone a little away from his ear so Alyssa could listen too.
"It's Pete..." Gabby said. "I just got a drunk-dial from him...and he sounded pretty far gone."
Kelly was trying to focus...trying to clear his head. What did she want him to do?
"Kelly...I'm worried about him. He's been so distant...it's like he's not even living."
He wanted to say that's what happens when the woman you've loved for a dozen years tells you she doesn't want to marry you. Doesn't want to have kids with you...
Dawson had moved on. She wasn't mean about it...she wasn't 'in your face' about it...but Shay had told him she was dating. In fact she was dating a cop...a divorced dad with two teen-age sons.
Last shift she had been exchanging a bunch of texts...she was sitting in the common room with her phone, and she had a smile on her face. Kelly could put two and two together.
Mills prob'ly had too.
But he wisely kept all those thoughts to himself.
"All right...all right." he said. "I'll go look for him."
He was prob'ly at his apartment...the one he'd shared with Dawson. He never went anywhere else.
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Kelly ended the call and threw back the covers. He sat up and swung his legs off the bed and just gathered his faculties for a moment.
"Kelly?" Lyssa whispered.
"Yeah..."
"Be careful, Honey." she said. "Maybe you should call Matt to go with you."
Mills had served under both Lieutenants...and they were all close...but Kelly had a camaraderie with Pete that Matt didn't have. Maybe it came from the days when they both did rehab together after the whole Squad was injured in a building collapse. Mills was hurt the worst...and he almost gave up. But Kelly wouldn't let him. He encouraged him...pushed him...yelled and screamed...and rode his ass to get him to fight his way back.
"Let me see what I'm dealing with..." he said. " I'll call Casey if I need back-up."
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Thirty minutes later he was pounding on Mills front door.
"Mills!" he called out, not caring if he woke the entire building. "You got three seconds to open this door!"
One...two...three.
Just as he was about to bust in, Mills opened the door.
God, he was a mess.
He was swaying on his feet...like at any minute he could do a face plant. His eyes were glassed over...and he smelled like a bar room floor.
Kelly reached out and caught his friend as he stumbled and propelled him back over to the couch. He shoved him back and Mills went sprawling out across it.
Severide surveyed the scene. There were bottles everywhere. 'He couldn't have drunk all this in one night...' Kelly thought . That would kill even someone with his constitution.
"What the hell's the matter with you, Mills?" he asked. "Dawson called me at two-thirty in the morning cause you drunk-dialed her..."
"Did I interrupt her?" Pete asked, slurring his words. "Her and her new boyfriend?"
"Whaddya want me to say, Mills?" Kelly told him. "It sucks...I know..."
"How could she? How could she just fall into bed with some other guy? Like the last thirteen years didn't mean anything?"
"I don't know, man. But this isn't gonna make it any better."
In fact it would probably feel a helluva lot worse when he sobered up.
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Kelly wiped his hand down his face in frustration.
"Mills...I know you don't wanna hear this...but you gotta get it together. If you keep goin' down this road...you're gonna lose everything."
"I already did..." Pete muttered darkly.
"No...you haven't." Kelly said. "You've still got your friends...your family...your career. I know you worked your ass off to get where you are now. Don't piss it all away."
"I want more..."
God, this was tough.
What could he say? That he knew what he was going through? That he'd been there?
He hadn't. Not in the same way...and not in a long time. In another lifetime.
"I get it." he said. "If I lost Lyssa and the kids you'd have to fish me outta the river. I know you're hurtin', man...but this...this is somethin' you can't control. You can only move on."
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The sun was coming up when Kelly got home.
Alyssa was up, and she had the coffee ready when Kelly brought their new house guest through the door.