A/N: Grr! For some reason, whenever I try to separate "scenes" with like, lines or whatever, they never appear on the site! It's annoying the heck out of me. Anyone else have that problem?

Anyway, this one ran a little long… enjoy.

Disclaimer: Bioware owns all the awesomeness that is Mass Effect.

Arriving on Ilium, Shepard quickly headed to Liara's office. She climbed the steps in a quick pace, eager to see an old friend, but when the door opened, the office was empty. Her eagerness turned to suspicion. She checked for signs of struggle, she found none.

"She must've left." Jack stated.

"She never said anything…" Shepard responded.

"Check her computer, maybe there's some clues there." Garrus suggested.

Shepard nodded as her infiltrator skills came handy. She sat down and decrypted Liara's computer, then headed straight for her message server.

Her effort proved unfruitful. "Nope. Nothing." She sighed.

"Maybe she finally went after the Shadow Broker." Jack said.

Vera's mood darkened. "She knows better than to go alone, Jack. She would have asked me for help…" Or would she…?

"Dr. T'soni has changed a lot since you died, Shepard. You might not know her as well as you think." Garrus said in an attempt to console her.

A few seconds went by in silence while Shepard considered what the turian was saying. It would imply that Liara didn't trust her anymore… but that was impossible! How could she not count on Shepard, after all they went through together? Two years couldn't have changed her that much… could they? She shook her head in disbelief… but what if?

"You may be right. But either way, we need to keep our eyes open for clues." She finally spoke.

They left the office soon after in a defeated mood. Liara was a good friend, and Shepard trusted her with her life. Maybe… maybe she just didn't feel the same way. However, the show must go on.

Soon after, she found herself in a warehouse, attempting to negotiate with a volus for the Normandy's repairs. The prices he offered were ridiculously high and he refused to give in to negotiation. She had been there for hours as they discussed going rates for workers, time, and the ship's damage, patiently explaining herself over and over. The warehouse was hot, and her armor didn't help… she fisted her hands as her patience wore thin. Soon losing her patience, she discovered that a heavily armed crack shot turian pointing a gun in his face and an extremely powerful, angry biotic were good company to keep during her negotiations.

She held her pistol to the volus' head at point blank; sweat covered her forehead. "Have we reached an agreement yet, Mr. Jitan?"

"I believe so." The volus inhaled.

"Good." She retreated. "I'll have the contract sent to you shortly and I expect you and your team to be ready first thing tomorrow."

They left the warehouse and she felt her tension ease a little as soon as she caught a breeze. Nighttime had already fallen upon Ilium, and she felt she had done little progress, but not much else could have been done without Liara's help and a busted ship.

"That could have gone better if you had just done that from the beginning, Shepard. Stupid little shit got on my nerves in the first twenty minutes…" Jack said, wiping the sweat from her brow.

Shepard chuckled, but said nothing in response.

"Well, I'm getting a head-start on Eternity. I could use a drink after that." Garrus said, holstering his pistol and gesturing his head to the warehouse.

"I hear that." Jack said.

"You guys go ahead… I'll catch up with you later. I need to shower. Badly." She felt she stank.

"Shepard you pussy, it wasn't that hot." Jack said, smirking.

"Says the one wearing leather straps for a "shirt"." Shepard retorted, air-quoting the word.

"True. No one's ever complained though." Jack shrugged.

"I bet." Garrus chimed in.

Shepard scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Just get out of here, both of you."

"Alright, we'll see you later." Jack said, waving.

He was early, maybe too early. The smell of alcohol on his breath hinted at his state of mind. Even Joker had to admit he was a little buzzed. There were only a few people at the bar, all non- human and no one from the Normandy. Figured they were busy… getting in touch with their friends and families… and stuff… yup. He gestured to the bartender with his hand. The asari matriarch came over as she noticed right away.

"Another beer?" She asked, a smirk creeping.

"Hell yes!" He had a stupid grin on his face.

She smiled and served him quickly. "You don't get out much do ya?" She asked, her gruff voice scaring the crap out of him. He'd never tell her that of course…

"Why? 'Cause I'm a cripple?" He asked, trying not to sound too rude and putting the glass to his lips.

He was the best pilot in the galaxy but maybe not the best fighter against an asari matriarch…

"No, 'cause you can't hold your alcohol. You look buzzed already!" She said.

"Oh…" he took one gulp out his glass and then put it down. "I'm a pilot. The best there is in this whole damn galaxy!" He said as a matter-of-factly. "And as a result of that…" he gave up trying and chuckled. "No, I don't get out much." He finished and put the glass to his lips again.

The bartender chortled and laid a hand on his shoulder. "No shame in that, flyboy. Next round is on the house." She winked as she removed her hand.

He almost choked on his beer. "Are you flirting with me, la-ma'am?"

Her eyes opened widely and she exploded in laughter. Joker was at first confused, then he understood. Boy he felt foolish.

"You're good people kid. I like you!" She finally said, her eyes tearing up. "Call me when you need a refill, flyboy." She walked away, still laughing.

A few moments later, he felt a slim hand on his shoulder. Shepard? He turned his head around…

"Oh, it's you…" he said dismissively, going back to his drink.

"That's rude, you know?" Her silky, accented voice said before Miranda sat beside him.

A pang of guilt hit him. Even though she was sometimes a total bitch, she HAD brought back Shepard and she HAD let him fly the SR2... and she HAD loosened up since that fiasco with her sister. "Sorry." He said as he put the glass down. "I was just-"

"Expecting Shepard?" She interrupted him while calling over the bartender.

His brow furrowed and he stared at her knowing smirk. The bartender arrived.

"This your date hun?" She asked Joker.

"No!" Joker replied. "She's-!"

"He wishes." Miranda interrupted him again.

While he had to admit that at one point the idea had occurred to him… he glared at the raven.

"I'm taking back that apology now." He said, taking the last gulp of his beer.

Miranda disregarded the comment and ordered gin and tonic. The bartender quickly complied and retired.

"You've got a thing for her don't you?" Miranda turned to him, drink in hand.

An alarm went off in his head. How the fuck…? "Well, if by 'thing' you mean I highly respect her as my commanding officer-"

"Bullshit." She raised an eyebrow while penetrating his eyes.

"Please stop doing that." He pleaded as he felt her predatory eyes upon him.

"Doing what?" She put her drink down and leaned closer slowly.

He swallowed, his heart rate quickened. "You… keep interrupting." Her hands soon found his legs for support as their faces were inches apart. Ok, what the fuck is going on here! "Miranda… what the hell are you doing?" He asked, bewildered but not the least bit interested.

Miranda smiled and pulled back, going back to her drink, she downed it. "I knew it."

"What is WRONG with you? What? Lose too much blood when you got shot or something! GOD!" He covered his face with his hands.

"I just called your bluff." She said. He looked up at her menacingly. "You can relax, your secret's safe with me, Joker."

"Yeah, great, just… don't do that again." He called over the bartender again, feeling very much sober. "I'm so getting shitfaced after that…" he mumbled to himself.

As the night went on, the bar was starting to get crowded. The whole team had already gathered with the exception of Mordin, Legion, Thane and Samara… and Shepard. Garrus, Jack, Tali and Joker were all eager to get started and were talking about how Grunt should go on his first drinking binge as a coming of age ritual while Jacob and Miranda talked quietly amongst themselves in the chairs beside them.

"Hey Garrus, where's Shepard?" Tali asked.

"She'll be he-" something caught the tall turian's eye in the crowd. "Oh yeah she's here."

Joker was the first to turn his head in the direction he pointed. His mouth gaped open.

Oh…

Black stilettos accented tight leg muscles as she walked, her calves flexing with every step.

My…

A baby blue dress that went above her knees hugged every curvature of her body and her hips swayed. It had a high cleavage, but just enough to keep you guessing…

God.

The smirk on her face as she approached them, her smoky green eyes, observing the world around them... The eyes following her across the room. The feeling that the world spun only around this moment…

"Hey Shepard! Over here!" Garrus waved his hand over.

She saw the tall turian over the small crowd and started making her way over.

"Yeah, I'm late. Sorry." She said when she reached them, then noticed Joker and smiled. "Yeah, I decided to be a girl tonight. Go ahead, laugh."

"No, no! Um, you look…" breathtakingly beautiful! "great!"

"Well thanks Joker. To tell the truth I was kind of nervous about this…" she chuckled meekly. "Can you believe that? Being more intimidated by a dress than a suit of armor?"

"Well you will find that I for one am very intimidated, if that helps any. I keep wondering where you're hiding the gun…" he grinned.

She huffed, seemingly offended. "Asshole." She then noticed a half empty glass beside him. "What you drinking?" She asked.

"Oh, I don't know. Hey barkeep, what's this called?" He motioned the busy asari, then pointed to his drink.

"It's a mystery drink!" She yelled.

"There you go. It's a mystery!" He shrugged while making a silly face. "All's I know is: it's good!" He offered thumbs up.

"Shepard! You clean up good!" Grunt said as he came up behind her, Jack close behind.

"We were waiting for you. Grunt plans on getting wasted tonight for the first time and I wouldn't miss that for the world." Jack said.

Shepard laughed. "Well what are you waiting for?"

Seeing a drunk krogan had to have been the funniest thing in the world. They discovered that Grunt was very likeable when drunk as he flirted with asari strippers and was generally in a good mood. It took him at least two hours, binging on pure ryncol in order to stumble into a few batarians in the crowd, that's when they discovered Grunt was also an aggressive drunk.

Jack, Garrus and Tali had to restrain Grunt until Shepard came in a restored the peace. They then decided enough had been enough for him… the previous three volunteered to escort him back to the ship. They needed three people to carry him anyway…

As for Miranda and Jacob, they had been long gone… Joker was glad about that, at least. In the end, they were alone and the bar became even more crowded, so they decided to retreat and find a booth where they could hear each other talk at least. They sat next to each other, facing the floor as the table was slowly lined with empty glasses.

"Hey, could I have one more of these things…?" Shepard was extremely intoxicated as she spoke to the waitress and signaled to her empty glass.

"Mystery drink!" Joker added, he was just as intoxicated, if not more.

She pointed at him. "Yes! That! Thank you Joker!"

The waitress nodded and left to get their drinks.

"Hey Joker can I ask you something?" Shepard asked as the waitress left.

"Shure." He was grinning.

"Do you think I'm being unprofessional? Like, this whole going out and partying thing… I mean, I used to do it all the time back on Earth with the gang! Got caught for underage drinking a few times!" She laughed. "But now that I'm y'know, Commander Shepard… Like, I feel a little guilty, y'know!"

"What are you talking about Shepard! I mean, why wouldn't you deserve to go out and party? You're only human, c'mon… no not even that, you're a… a what do you call it?" He snapped his fingers. "A sentient being! And unless you're a Reaper or something, all sentient beings need to blow off steam."

"Yeah… but I don't know, sometimes it's like, 'Oh my GOD I want to quit!', but I'm like, the only one who can do my job… y'know!" She flailed her hands in anger, then laid them down.

Joker suddenly started laughing. "You're so wasted… you've said the word 'like' like twenty times in one sentence!"

"You're one to talk!" She glared at him as the waitress approached. "Oh yay more drinks!" She exclaimed gleefully, it made him smile.

"You're so beautiful…" he said unconsciously.

"What?" She asked, drinks in hand.

"Nothin'" He lied, reaching for a drink from her hand to no avail.

"You said I'm beautiful."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did."

"No I didn't."

"I liked it…"

Maybe it was the alcohol, but for a minute, he thought his brain hadn't registered that sentence right. His heart started racing as she put down the drinks and her face started getting closer. Was this really happening? He was paralyzed. With one sudden move, she closed the distance between their lips.

He figured he must have passed out and fallen asleep, this couldn't be real. So then, if it wasn't real… it couldn't hurt.

He returned her kiss forcefully, sliding his hand around her back and pulling her in desperately. She moaned in delight while wrapping her arms around his neck and then she slid her tongue inside his mouth, finding his. The feel of her tongue inside his mouth sent a chill down his spine and his body responded by slowly locking the flow of blood into his groin. As if by instinct, she slowly slid one hand down his torso, her fingers feeling his muscular abdomen. He twitched and groaned as she hit a weak spot and she chuckled throatily before releasing her lock on his lips.

"Let's get out of here…" Her face looked heavenly flushed as her eyes lusted for him.