Chapter 25

The ride back to the motel felt twice as long as the ride out to the farm. Maybe even longer than the ride from Chicago.

Nobody said a word. Alyssa was silent as a stone...and Kelly had given up trying to get her to speak to him. The kids were stunned into silence. This was the worst fight Andy and Jesse could ever remember their mom and dad having. Maggie didn't know what was going on...just that something was not right.

Only Lexi seemed oblivious to the tension, and she occasionally churbled to herself as she looked out the window.

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Kelly swung through a drive through and bought burgers and fries for himself and the boys...and nuggets for Lexi and Maggie.

Alyssa just gave him a frosty stare when he asked if she wanted anything.

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While he fed the kids, she took the boys gym shoes into the bathroom of their motel room and tried to save them. They were brand new... bought just before the trip...right in time to start school the day after they got back.

After dinner, he sent the boys off to take a long shower, while he wiped the girls hands and faces and changed them into their little Princess pj's. And once the boys were done, he got into the shower himself.

As he let the hot water pummel him he tried to think of a way to make things right with Alyssa. He had to make her understand...he wasn't trying to make more work for her. He was trying to build a lifetime of memories with the kids...to give them different experiences so one day they could say...'Yeah, I remember the time I went four-wheeling with my dad. We got covered head to toe in mud and it was one of the best days we ever had.'

She had to know how important that kind of thing was to him.

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He dried off and wrapped the towel tight around his waist.

The kids were watching a movie on the tablet.

"Dad..." Andy groaned. "Do we hafta watch 'Frozen' again?"

Kelly sighed.

That was the hardest part about there being such a big age gap between the twins and Maggie.

"Once your sisters go to sleep, you can watch somethin' else." he said. "Until then...yes...you have to watch 'Frozen' again."

Now it was Andy's turn to sigh.

"SHHHH!" Maggie told him. "'Dis is the bestest part!"

"You oughta know..." Andy grumbled. "You've only seen it a billion times!"

"Andy...don't start with her." Kelly warned him.

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He walked through the door into the adjoining room and pulled shorts and a t-shirt out of the drawer. He slipped them on, then he went looking for his razor.

He rifled through his shaving kit...and he found everything but the one thing he was looking for.

"Hey, Lyssa..." he asked. "Did you forget to pack my razor?"

Alyssa looked up...tears of frustration welling up in her eyes.

"What?" he said, meeting her eyes in the mirror. "I'm just askin' a question..."

In answer she slammed the shoe she was wiping down onto the vanity top, pushed past Kelly...and stormed out the door.

'What the hell...' he thought as he started to follow her.

"Boys..." he said as he walked past the open door connecting the two rooms. "Watch your sisters. I'll be right back."

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He found his wife pacing back and forth by the car, hugging herself to keep from coming completely apart.

"Lyssa...Lyssa, I'm sorry." he said.

She continued to pace...it was like she didn't even hear him.

"I wasn't trying to make more work for you." he went on. "I just..."

Alyssa passed in front of him again.

"Will you stop? Look at me..."

He reached out and caught her by her right arm.

"AAAHHHHH!" she cried.

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Her scream startled him...no...her scream scared him. Scared the hell out of him.

Kelly grabbed her with both hands and pulled her to him. When he did her cotton blouse slipped off of her shoulder.

As he brought her in close and wrapped his arms around her, he was sickened to find how much smaller she seemed...even compared to just a few days ago.

She had to have lost about ten pounds.

Then he saw something...not one, but two Lidoderm patches.

The transdermal anesthetic patches had been part of her old pain regimen...back when she first got out of the hospital...after Bradley Paul had nearly beaten her to death.

It was a pretty extensive regimen of meds and all of them were only available by prescription.

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"Alyssa...what is this?" he asked hoarsely...even though he knew damn well.

Alyssa laid her head against his chest and he could feel her body shaking as she sobbed silently.

"Talk to me, Baby...would you just tell me?"

Lyssa drew a ragged breath.

"You know...my shoulder..."

He did know...he'd known for months.

And he was just as angry with himself as he was frustrated with her for not doing something about it a long time ago.

"So why haven't you done something?"

His voice was harsher than he intended it to be...but he couldn't help it.

They'd been dancing around the subject for months.

"You'd never let me ignore something this long! When it's me, you're on the phone with the doctor in about five minutes!" he continued. "You can't neglect your own health!"

He placed one finger under her chin, forcing her to look him in the eye.

And his heart was in his throat as he looked into his wife's big, brown eyes. Eyes that were tired and full of tears.

Kelly swallowed hard.

"Enough is enough..."

His voice cracked as the emotion overwhelmed him. This was his wife...his partner...his best friend...and the love of his life.

"You need to stop messin' around. You need to get to a doctor...as soon as we get home." he told her. "Either you make the call...or I will."

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He wasn't prepared for the next thing that came out of her mouth.

"I did." she said quietly...so quietly it was hard to make out the words. "I already saw the doctor."

Why hadn't she told him?

"When? When did you go?"

"February..." she whispered.

February? February?

That was almost seven months ago!

How could she not tell him?

But Kelly struggled to keep his feelings in check.

"And what'd he say?"

Lyssa drew another shaky breath.

"He called it a 'frozen shoulder'." she said. "I've got a lot of scar tissue built up...and it's limiting my range of motion even more...and the muscles aren't working the way they're supposed to..."

All that sounded serious. Not something that just happened overnight.

"How long has this been goin' on?" Kelly asked, almost not wanting to hear the answer.

All he heard was the crickets chirping.

"Alyssa!" he said again. "How long?"

"About a year..." she whispered.

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"A YEAR?!"

Kelly couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"A year?!" he said again. "Alyssa..."

He wiped his hand down his face in frustration, because he had just done a little quick math. All this had started when she was taking care of him.

This time a year ago he could barely do anything for himself. He needed Alyssa to help him get dressed, to tie his shoes, set his food up, his toothbrush, everything, really.

"Lyssa...why didn't you say something sooner?" he asked.

Just thinking that his girl had been in pain all this time, just broke his heart.

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He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close.

"When we get back...we're gonna make another appointment...I'm gonna go with you." he said.

He tangled his fingers in her long hair.

"We're gonna handle it together." he told her.

She had been there for him...time and time again...year after year.

Well...now it was his turn to be there for her.