Authors Note- Read the end notes.
Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.
Song for Chapter- Time For Miracles by: Adam Lambert
BPOV
When I awoke, the only thing that was firstly on my mind was that I was positively starving. My stomach made the weird growling noise, one that would normally make me laugh. I also felt a little sweaty, and I needed a shower. I had no shampoo or conditionair, and I hadn't bought any before I left, and obviously none can be taken on planes. I would have to go out a buy some then.
Next, the sun was shining brightly in my face, annoying the shit out of me because the curtains had not been closed last night. When I shifted, I was ontop of something kind of hard, but soft and warm at the same time. I'd also taken notice that I wasn't wearing any clothes.
I stretched, my muscles aching everywhere, and it was hurting...down there. When I looked down, I was met with a perfectly sculpted, naked chest. I was laying ontop of Edward, my none-clothed body against his.
All of last nights events came flooding back to me and I blushed, realizing what Edward and I had done last night. It was amazing, last night was incredible and obviously nothing like I had ever experienced in my life.
He was sleeping soundly underneath me, his chest rising and falling evenly. I slowly lifted my body off of his, blushing in the process because we were sweating, and then it was sticky from the sweat, now I was feeling even more gross. I was literally sticking to Edward.
" Bella," he murmured sleepily, his eyes opening.
I looked up at him " Good morning."
Somehow, I didn't sound like me. My voice was rough and a little gritty which was I guess not a surprise after the events of last night. Blush spread over my cheeks and I looked down at the blanket. It was a great thing that my parents weren't here last night, someone in the sky must of been looking out for me.
" I think you need some tea or something." he informed me, his hand running over my cheek.
"Mm, yeah. I think so."
Edward chuckled and leaned forward, placing a delicate kiss on my neck. My body leaned into the feeling of his lips on my body on instinct. He bent further over me, then adjusted his legs and pushed my body down gently. I tangled my hands in his hair as his lips traveled over my collarbone and neck.
" I should dress and head to the store for some things I need."
"Mmm, please don't." he muttered against my neck, moving his lips down to kiss just above my heart.
" I feel gross and look the same."
" You are beautiful."
I found myself smiling because being this way with him was just incredibly amazing. It was better then I had ever imagined it. Even after thinking about it for years, actually being in his arms, having him kiss me, the thoughts were so much different from actually having him here. In the skin.
" Please, I need a hot shower. Going out like this is bad enough."
He let me slip out from under him and I grabbed a blanket before getting up. I was not going to be flashing any of my girly parts or ass for him.
My familar robe was laying over my chair, and I slipped it on, knowing a shower was a lost cause with no soap or hair things. I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, as I had been washing my face, I saw hickeys all over my neck. I muttered a swear word and went to get my coverup in the drawer, wiping it over the marks.
I combed my hair, throwing it up in a ponytail and slipped on a tanktop and shorts.
From here, I didn't know what would happen. We had sex last night, and that would change alot from now on. I sighed, putting on some deodorant and walked out. Edward was leaning against the headboard, watching me closely.
" Where are you going exactly ?" he asked.
" I have no shower things. So CVS or Target maybe."
I grabbed a sweatshirt, wincing as I bent to grab it. My body was really in alot of pain from last nights activities. I'd bended my body into positions I never exactly thought possible, and tested my limits last night.
Oh, boy, did I.
I let out a small groan and stood straight, massaging my shoulder with my hand, trying the best I could to get the spot I needed. The pain would go away, but I knew it would be uncomfortable for a little while.
" What's wrong?"
" Nothing, I'm fine."
Just as he was about to stand up, I stopped him, sitting beside him on the bed. He touched the side of my face, looking at me with a concered expression on his face. I didn't want him to think that he hurt me, which he definately would in a true Edward fashion.
" Did I hurt you?"
How. Embarassing.
I shook my head " No, you didn't. It just hurts from... "
His arm wrapped around my waist as he kissed the side of my face. " Want me to get you some asprin...Tylenol? A massage?"
Clearly he was acting sweet because of last night.
" It's fine, no worries. I'll get us some coffee while I am out. Maybe you should dress." I said, walking towards the door.
He reached out, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards him with a tug. I looked at him curiously.
" You didn't say goodbye."
" Goodbye." I answered, clearly confused.
" No, Bella." he said, leaning up to kiss me.
I liked this new goodbye ritual.
I kissed him back gently and sweetly, trying not to just shove my tongue down his throat. Before pulling away I swept my tongue along his bottom lip. When I pulled away I mused his hair, to which he shoved me hand away playfully.
" Go ahead."
When I pulled up to CVS Pharmacy, I all but ran to the shampoo and conditionair aisle, quickly grabbing my usual hair soap that I did each time. I wanted to get back home and in a hot shower. I put it in the basket, grabbing a few disposable razors from the next aisle before going onto body soap.
I wasn't running around crazy, but I was going quickly so that I could get right on home. An old lady glared at me when I almost bumped into the nail polish stand she seemed interested in. After a quick apology, I continued on with my journey.
Suddenly a small body crashed into mine, the air now out of my lungs when the arms wrapped around me.
" BELLA! YOUR BACK!" She screamed loudly, people in the aisle glaring at us.
" Hey, Alice. How've you been?"
" Great. I missed you. How was London?"
" Okay." I shrugged, grabbing my strawberry soap from the bottom shelf.
Without warning, she grabbed my neck and gasped loudly, tiny hands gripping me. If she was trying to choke me, it sure was working. It was really no surpise that Alice could see through my bad cover-up job.
" What's this? Their like...not even twenty four hours fresh. You suck at covering them."
" Alice." I scolded "Cut it out."
A smile spread across her face and she grinned widely, nudging my side " She's even glowing."
I blushed, my face turning seventeen shades of red. She let my neck go and still smiled. I looked over the aisle, seeing the scowling lady had already left. Alice knew better then to do this to me in public, but that most definately didn't stop her.
" Aw...Did you find some hot man candy?"
" Alice, I've really got to go. Look, I will call you later sometime and we can talk."
She frowned and nodded, kissing me on the cheek before running off to the nail polish aisle, I hoped she wouldn't startle the old lady. I headed towards the drug store area, browsing nervously towards the aisle that ate at me.
When I was fifteen, my mom had given me five condoms because she said she just wanted me to be careful. Fifteen...yeah right, I wasn't stupid. Last night...Well, we used three last night. I should be prepared for the future, anything can happen.
I sucked it up and walked down the aisle, riffling through sizes. I blushed deeply throwing the needed one into the basket and scurried towards checkout. The lady looked at me interestingly when she scanned the condoms.
" Magnum XL?"
Oh, fuck. I was embarassed, but I knew that was the right one. Definately one hundred percent sure. Last night we seemed to almost have a problem about the ones I had. They had not exactly..fit the best for Edward's particular size.
" Is that a problem?" I asked.
She shook her head, smiling and throwing it into a bag. I grabbed my things after paying and got out of there as soon as I could. I got the size that was needed, and that was it, no big deal. I stopped by Dunkin Donuts, grabbing two coffee's with cream and paying. I put the sugar in and stirred it before going back to the car and heading back home.
When I got in everything was quiet. I headed upstairs to my bedroom, slipping off my sweatshirt as I went. It was empty. There wasn't a note or anything. I heard a knock on the door frame. I turned around, seeing my father standing at the door.
" Isabella, we would like to speak with you." he said sternly
I knew that I couldn't keep them in the dark about last night.
I set my bag down on my bed " Where's Edward."
" Dressed and home." he replied, now completely red faced.
I took both coffee's downstairs, taking a seat across from my parents at the table. My dad looked incredibly angry and my mother looked a tad concerned, pulling on her brown hair. I leaned back in the chair and smiled warily at both of them.
" Is everything straightened out with, Edward?" my mother asked first.
They were trying to make me squirm. " I don't know. I think so."
" Well you talked did you not?"
" Renee, get to the point already." he said.
She sighed and bore her eyes into mine " We left last night so you both could talk. Just twenty minutes ago we went to check on both of you after we saw your car was missing. Edward was just putting his pants on, Isabella. The bed was a mess. I told him to leave and then I checked your drawer."
My father had something balled in his hands tightly, and just then he threw it on the table. It was my dress from last night. It had fallen on the floor in the hallway when Edward slipped it off. I was sure that by now I was cherry red.
" I do-"
" Two...Two were left, Isabella. And don't think I didn't know how many were in there."
" Mom, I d-"
" You and Edward had both disrespected us in this house...Taking advantage of the fact that we weren't here. We gave you that time to talk about things, Isabella. Not for you to do that." my father stated.
" You disrespected us, Isabella." my mother scolded.
I sighed " We don't live in the nineteen hundreds anymore, mother. What Edward and I did, or what you think we did last night, is our business and nobody elses." I explained
" It's obvious what you did. This dress is proof. I also found...these on your floor."
My father glared at me, taking two of the three ripped open condoms and slamming them on the table. My mother just looked very annoyed. I stood up, grabbing the cup of coffee that was meant for Edward.
" I understand your upset. But what I did is undone, and I wouldn't undo it even if I had the chance. I love him, I have for such a long time. I'm sorry you both can't seem to understand that. What you need to realize; is that this Edward. I grew up with him. He's not just some random guy."
They didn't say anything after me as I headed upstairs slowly. I grabbed my phone from my desk, dialing Edward's number, he answered on the first ring and asked me if everything was alright. I wasn't completely okay, but just hearing his voice made me feel better.
" We should talk, can you come over."
He agreed and I hung up the phone, taking a long drink from my cup. I heard the front door, talking and then footsteps up the stairs and down the hallway to my bedroom. The door opened smoothly and closed silently.
Edward was already dressed and showered, looking a little bit upset. I knew that they must have said something to him when he came it, it was definately something they would do. I brushed my bangs out of my face, looking up at him.
" I'm sorry about them." I whispered.
" It was kind of embarassing having your mother find me dressing. Atleast I'd already had my boxers on."
I sat next to him on my bed " Edward..."
He laughed " Kidding. Actually not really."
" We need to talk. About what happened before I left, and what happened last night."
Edward nodded in understanding " Want to go somewhere. Just by ourselves. No interruptions."
" Uh, yeah. That's, uh, kind of perfect."
I handed him his coffee and he nodded in thanks as he opened my bedroom door. Both of my parents watched us closely in the kitchen as I grabbed my car keys. Behind me I slammed the door once we were out. I was pissed, and I sure as hell was going to let them know that.
We slipped into my truck and I started up the car. He looked at me, smiling.
"Oh, shit...Wait this was your idea. Where am I going?"
" Your choice."
I ended up driving on the meadow and parking at the end of the dirt road. We spread the blanket that was in the car over the open trunk area, climbing in and leaning against the walls. We were on opposite sides, legs stretched out besides eachothers.
His hand played with my shoelace as he stared at me.
" Well, the stage is all for you since this starts up with you." Edward stated.
" Where do I start?"
" The beginning." he suggested, twisting the lace
It would be difficult talking about all of this " It's going to be long."
" I have time."
With a sigh, I began;
" It started after when we had our first kiss at thirteen. I mean, it wasn't anything huge in the beginning just a small crush that I basically ignored. When we moved out here, even when you were fourteen all the freshmen were just loving you, and that made me really mad, but I kept telling myself that it's not like you belong to me. I would look at you and think about you all the time, but it was still just a crush. I hadn't ever told anybody because I knew they would think it was wrong. When we were young I remember asking my mother if we were related beause we acted like brother and sister. Everyone thought of us as like brother and sister, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I liked you... Then you started talking about Tanya, how gorgeous she was, brilliant. It made me so upset, but I thought that it was only a crush for you, and it was just nothing. Then you both started dating after you got into football which you tried out for because of her."
He frowned sadly at me.
" I remember crying that night you told me that she was your girlfriend. I was so hurt and in so much pain. Then she was just everywhere I was, and she fawned over you and shoved it in my face, and you did too, Edward. The day you told me that you wanted me to get a boyfriend so you could have more time with Tanya, that fucking hurt. But I got over it and just learned to deal with it. She would call me a bitch at times behind your back, or give me dirty glares. Everyone knew that she was jealous of our relationship, and I held onto it because I knew that nobody knew you like I did. The night you told me you had sex with her was bad...It was silly, but in my head, I pictured us being eachothers first. Hell, I would of liked it better if you had sex with Jessica Stanley. She was such a stupid, moronic, bitch and I couldn't believe what you saw in her, but Edward, it did break me in half when she broke up with you because you were so upset. I hated her even more for doing that...The day you said you loved her was the worst that I'd gone through. To this day you probably think I was sleeping, but I wasn't. When I got home, I cried for hours because that was the day I realized that I was in love with you. Then I did possibly the most stupid thing. I told myself that I could be just as beautiful as her and I asked Alice to go shopping with me."
Edward chuckled " Bella...I've always thought you were beautiful."
I blushed.
" After that, things just got bad. The break-up, Rosalie, hospital and when you ditched me at the charity event for Tanya last minute.. Everything was just terrible, but I kept it together so I could be there for you and that letter she sent, fuck it pissed me off. I knew you were drunk off your ass and that made it worse, but atleast this time you weren't pissed at me for having a perfect life. Like the time you ditched me at the mall for her, it was bad then. Last Christmas...or New Year. That day I wanted to be the first one to kiss you at midnight, and everyone encouraged it and you did. When you pulled away, I was scared. I hid because I was confused as to if you felt anything. Then I was just pissed. It didn't last of course because I couldn't be mad at you if I tried."
" I'm sorry for treating you the way I did when I was dating her, Bella. I never meant to hurt you. Maybe I was just caught up in the crowd."
I patted his leg " It's fine...Then the night I told you. That kiss made me feel confident, and when I did it felt like something being lifted off of me. All the years of hiding my feelings and closing them off just released. Then you said it was wrong. Edward, I left that night because I felt rejected and I couldn't handle it because I was so confident to tell you, and what you said was basically that you didn't feel the same, atleast that's how I took it. When I got to London, the first few days were absolutely horrible, I didn't get out of bed or eat. Then I recieved one of your letters, and Edward, it really made me feel important, like you still wanted me to know what was going on and that you cared. I knew you always cared, but not as much as then."
" I read all the voicemails you sent, and then I realized that maybe you were as hurt as I was. Each one held meaning, and I didn't want to delete them, but I knew that moving on was best. I wasn't sure I wanted to come home until you said you were done writing to me. I caught the first flight here that I could and came home. I didn't think I missed everyone as much as I did."
" And last night?" he asked, turning a light shade of pink.
I blushed " Edward, I don't regret last night, although I got grilled about it today, I don't. Last night was amazing, but if you think...Look, how about you start okay."
He nodded " Mine won't be as long as yours."
I smiled at him encouragingly.
" Bella, I was over the moon when I went out with Tanya, I thought she was perfect and smart, basically everything I wanted. But hell, she got possessive so quick and she was all over me. But I didn't want the physical stuff, I liked talking and getting to know her. The night we had sex, I won't go into detail, but Bella it was terrible. I didn't want any of it. I wanted to get out of there, and I came to you because I knew you would calm me down. I took advantage of how much you cared for me and never got mad for long. You listened to everything I said and I dumped things on you. When Tanya broke up with me, I was hurt because I thought I loved her. But the truth is, I thought that I loved her, I really don't think I ever did. I loved the idea, but she was an ugly person on the inside. When you told me you liked me, Bella, you have to know that I was caught off guard, I didn't expect it at all because I never considered us being together. I had alot of time to think, and I figured that I want to try it out. Last night was not something I intended to happen, but it was amazing. Bella, maybe it won't work out, but maybe it will. All I know is that my feelings have changed and I am happy with you all the time, I can tell you everything and we know eachother. I'm risking our friendship, but something tells me it's worth it. There are holes in this speech, but really, the main point is that I am over Tanya, over the whole thing and I want to move on...with you."
I think I was crying at some point in his speech. I brushed my tears away and gave him a watery smile.
" Right now... Look, I-...How do I say this." he murmured, furrowing his brows.
" Last night we really went up a few levels, but just for right now, I want to experience just being with you. Maybe take a step back and just explore this." he asked, reaching for my hand.
" Okay. That's great."
" Bella, I know that I have been very selfish when it came to our relationship, and other things, but for that, I'm sorry. I'll work on it, because I don't want to be like that.."
I kneeled and went towards him, sitting close and nestling my head against his shoulder. Edward's arm wrapped tightly around my waist. Then it suddenly dawned on me whether or not we were going to tell our friends. Rosalie would completely flip her shit and she was the only one I've really been thinking about.
" What about the others? Are we going to tell them?"
" Alice and Emmett...I think they'll be okay. Jasper maybe, but Rosalie is so unpredictable at this point. I think that maybe we should either hold off, or maybe have Emmett sit down and tell her. I don't want her hurting you."
I nodded and let my hand rest on his chest, closing my eyes.
" We should just tell them all together, telling three people seperately is just a job."
" Sound great to me." I replied.
" So...what do we do now?"
" Whats your favorite color?" I asked sarcastically.
" Blue." we said together, laughing.
I grabbed his shoulders, and pushed on his body, he chuckled and laid on his back on the blanket. With a huff I sat on his stomach, pushing my messy hair back. He gripped my hips, keeping me still.
" What are you doing?" he asked, gritting his teeth.
" Nothing, just getting comfortable."
He rolled his eyes, knowing that I was just teasing him. I rolled off of him and leaned on my side, my hand propping my head up as I stared down at him. Edward hummed quietly and reached his arm out, wrapping it around my waist and curling me into his side.
" Can I tell you something, Bella...Seriously?"
" Of course."
" You said you loved me, right?"
" Yes."
" I'm not trying to hurt you, Bella. I want to be open and honest with you. Look, I don't love you yet. I need some time to really contemplate that kind of thing. I want to work up to loving you, because I don't want to say it because you do."
I sighed " Edward, I said it because I feel it, but I don't want you saying it because I do. When you do, then that's great. Whether it a month or a year, my feelings won't change. Just tell me when you love me, or...if you can't love me."
EPOV
She looked sad in that moment, saying the last sentence. I brushed her hair away from her face.
" I will."
Today had been such an emotional rollercoaster, dealing with everything that had been going on between both of us, Bella especially. I'd been happy that she opened up to me about her feelings over the past few years, and while her feelings about my previous relationship were bad, I just hoped that now we could explore all that was going on.
I didn't love Bella as she loved me, but I knew that one day that I would work up to it. Everything had already gotten off not as good before, and I wanted to make up for that and start things out smoothly.
My thoughts were gathered, and I knew that I wanted to be with her.
Last night, was not something that I had expected to happen. When we had kissed, a feeling of need washed over me, and it was new to me. I'd felt so detached when I'd been with Tanya, I had expected to feel the emotional connected, I'd wanted to feel it. With Bella, it had been how I wanted it to be my first time. The intense feeling was so much to handle, but being with her in such an intimate way was freeing.
Things felt right.
Suddenly I heard her phone ring;
" Hello, daddy. Hello, mom.
I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch- cherry bomb.
Hello world, I'm your wild girl.
I'm you ch-ch-ch-ch-ch- cherry bomb.
Stone age love and strange sounds too.
Come on baby let me get to you."
" Hello...Hi, dad...With Edward...Talking...Yes, that's all we are doing...Now, dad I'm not-...No, I just got back I want to-...I'll be home for dinner...I swear...Fine...Okay...Bye."
She shoved her phone back into her pocket " What the hell is his deal. I mean, he always thought we were secretly dating, and now he is completely pissed. It's you! Not a fourty year old weirdo." Bella complained.
" I don't know, Izzy Bizzy."
A loud tinkling laugh escaped her " Edward, you need to stop with the names. I think I have atleast twenty. Shall I name them?"
" Go for it."
She rolled her eyes. " Isabella, Bella, Bells, Bell, Iz, Iz B, Izzy, Izzy B, Izzy Pop and Emmett has called me 'Isabel' a few times, now we've got Izzy Bizzy."
" I can find a few."
" Oh really?"
" Mmhmm."
" Whatever you say, Ed."
I growled against her neck " Don't call me that."
She smiled at me.
"Siete la creatura che pia bella ho posto mai gli occhi sopra."
" English please." she whispered.
" Your the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on."
She shook her head " Obviously you haven't looked at Rosalie or Alice. Don't lie to me."
I gaped at her " No ho motivo fingere e starei mai a voi. Come potreste pensaree quello?"
Bella sat up glaring down at me " What did I just tell you before?"
" I have no reason to pretend and I would never lie to you. How could you think that?"
" I'm not beautiful, I've always knew it. And I am not throwing a pity party. Average is easy to explain me."
Obviously she couldn't see herself clearly. I'd never really seen how beautiful she really was until I really thought about her in a different way. She isn't fake, far from it. No under the knife procedures to make herself look plastic. And most definately no implants anywhere. Not like all the girls at school.
" Well, I think your gorgeous. So think as you wish."
" Do me a favor?" she breathed.
I moved closer to her " Anything."
" Stop talking...and prove to me you think I am beautiful."
My arm wound around her slim waist, I made a note to feed her because she looked like she'd lost a little bit of weight. I pressed my lips firmly, but softly to hers. Both of her lips were like two clouds and her body was just as comfortable. Her small hand rested on my hip, pushing against it to bring us closer. I moved my lips against hers and I felt her tongue drag along my lip teasingly.
" Stop teasing me."
" Well, now that I know you don't like it, maybe I should from now on." she whispered in a seductive voice.
My lips swept against hers gently and I cradled her head in my hands.
" You love kissing don't you?"
"Shh."
Suddenly her stomach made the oddest, most inhuman kind of noise.
" The fuuuuck?"
" I haven't eaten since noon yesterday."
What? And after last night. She must be fucking starving, I knew that I'd basically raided all the cabinets this morning in my house, how'd she not be begging for food at this point was beyond me.
" Come on." I said, pulling away and lifting her up.
" No. Please I was having so much fun. You were, too!"
She leaned up, placing a kiss on my neck. I wanted to lay back down with her and just keep going, but I knew that her needs came first, and eating was first no matter how much she wanted to continue.
" Later, okay. After we stuff you with like twenty burgers and you gain all that weight back."
Now, she was pissed. I guess I forgot girls were sensitive when it came to weight...
" Thanks for that, Edward. What, do I look discustingly skinny for you to like now?"
" Bella, no. But I know you weren't eating well, and it's kind of obvious. You don't look sick, but you don't look like your completely healthy...Fuck, I've always looked after you even before this."
She climbed out of the back and I followed her, she got into the cab and started up the car. I got in as quickly as possible just in case she was pissed enough to drive away. When we got back into town, she drove straight to her house, slamming the door roughly when she got out. I grabbed for her wrist, stopping her.
" Let me go, Edward. Be a jerk to someone else."
" How is it being a jerk when I am only looking out for you? What, now that were together does that mean it stops, actually it gives me more reason to."
Then, she was quiet.
" Have you always been this annoying?" she asked me bluntly.
I glared at her " Have you always been such an over-reacting drama queen."
" Thank you for ruining my first day back home."
" Stop being a drama queen."
I think we just had our first fight.
Authors Note- READ ALL NOTES BELOW.
Hello,
I have already written a small letter on my twitter about this, but I don't have everyone following me and I would appreciate if you would read this all through to understand.
I have been recieving Private Message's on Tuesdays, telling me what day it is and that I have to update 'now'. Also some people started reviewing on Tuesday's just to remind me. I completely understand your eagerness for more of the story, but you all have to remember, Authors have a life outside of fanfiction, and I was particularly dealing with a few personal issues last Tuesday, ontop of having family over, which effectively limited my time.
Friday's are definate updates, and Tuesday's are for when I have time. I will also post teasers on my twitter, so remember to follow me if you are interested. I have a link on the top of my profile page.
Truly, I appreciate you all, more then you understand, but I do infact know what days it is -laughs-. Your reviews make me so very happy, and I cherish each one. I don't need any apologies for this, I am just letting you all know what I need you to know.
I hope that you do not take this as a rude message, I say all of this in the nicest way possible, all I need is a bit of understanding. Thank you all for the reviews, and I hope you liked this chapter.
Sincerely,
Twilightx28