Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter no matter how much money I offered

One of the Guys

Chapter Eight

Malfoy (Edit 3/3/09)

Dear Diary,

Today Hagrid paired us up with partners to take care of an egg. Normally this would not have bothered me but this project requires all of us to take on the roles of our gender stereotypes…Meaning I'm the mother. This is uncomfortable beyond belief for me and my discomfort was not made any better when the boys in the class kept staring at my ass.

I wonder if maternal instincts kick in for girls or something, because I don't feel anything…that could be because Karen is an egg, but I saw a Hufflepuff girl singing a lullaby for her egg earlier. Hopefully my 'manliness' won't affect Mathieu's and my grade.

Harry 'Evie' P.

Harry looked around desperately. His nerves were on end. Beside him Mathieu was pulling on his hair, his face white with fear.

"What should we do, Harry?" Mathieu asked, and Harry idly wondered, how the other boy knew his name, before he understood the question.

"I don't know, I don't know where she could have gone. KAREN!" Where could Karen have gone? She couldn't go far…she doesn't even have legs!

"Karen!" Mathieu called beside him, "Karen!"

All of a sudden the two of them were in the Great Hal when Mathieu unexpectedly grabbed Harry's hand.

"Harry!"

"What?" Harry asked. He felt horrified when he felt the warmth emanating from their touching skin: He was scared stupid when he realized he enjoyed it.

It wasn't until he saw Ron eating breakfast that he realized what had frightened Mathieu. Ron was eating a large meal consisting of a large scrambled egg.

"OH RON!" Harry cried. Karen's shell lay next to the redhead's plate. "YOU ATE HER! You ate our daughter. How could you?"

"You should try some, mate, the bloody best breakfast I've had since Mum's cooking."

Suddenly Mathieu broke into tears and collapsed into Harry's arms…

Harry woke up and leaned foreword in his bed to stretch. As he did so, he was given a clear look of the wooden basket that Mathieu had transfigured from a quill. Karen was laying peacefully, her white shell glowing in the darkened room. Upon seeing this he was painfully reminded of the Care of Magical Creatures' project.

"God damn you, Karen," He whispered at the egg wanting to kick her and her basket off his bed. Thanks to the stupid egg, he was dreams off Mathieu. He didn't dislike the other boy, he just didn't want to have dreams of him…or Ron for that matter "Oh crap!"

He covered his mouth in horror.

"I'm sorry, Karen. I'm a bad da—mom—I'm sorry!" he winced again at the insanity of him talking to an egg. It's too early in the morning to be dealing with this egg crap. The whole idea was stupid; he couldn't believe Hagrid had even assigned it as a project: Take care of an egg. It wouldn't even hatch. It was practically a tempting breakfast (For Ron, maybe).

Mathieu didn't seem all that pleased to be paired with him either despite how he behaved in Harry's dream, and Harry felt indignant at that. He wasn't that bad. He had been nothing but nice to the new boy but he seemed to be giving him the cold shoulder.

Harry groaned in frustration and quickly ran his hand through his hair. The one thing about his female body he liked was that his hair was still short. It made him feel more like 'Harry' but the girls he was sharing the dorm with kept telling him to grow it out that it would make guys like him more, like he needed that. He liked the fact that his short hair, it was reminiscent of his true body and plus he didn't know how to tie pony tails (Seriously, took me forever to learn how).

He got out of his bed and walked over to his chest to pull out his school uniform, He was thankful Lavender let him borrow hers or he would have had to deal with his skirt falling down his legs. He quickly changed and grabbed his books and Karen before walking out of his dorm.

Mathieu was waiting for him at the bottom of the steps. "We should make her clothes." He said thoughtfully.

Harry stopped on the stairs looking at Mathieu. "I beg your pardon?" He asked.

"Karen," The French boy said, "We should get her clothes."

Harry nodded, not really enthusiastic.

"Do what you want, I don't really care," He remarked.

He shifted and shoved the egg into Mathieu's hands and started to walk off towards the common room exit. He really didn't know what possessed him to act so dry towards the other boy but he really didn't want to put up with Mathieu's snippy attitude this morning.

The other boy was just glaring after him as he left but he felt he deserved it. Harry usually thought himself optimistic when it came to meeting new people but Mathieu was pushing it. Harry shook his head and sighed. He walked by a few boys who stopped to watch his ass as he walked away.

He felt disgusted and violated. They didn't have to stare at him as if he was some dress up doll, though at the moment he felt like one. The act the boys put on when they saw him or some other pretty girl walk down the hall reminded him of Ron. For a moment Harry wondered if any girl felt disgusted when Ron stared at them or flirted obsessively.

He shuddered at least Ron wasn't acting like a pervert to him…most of the time.

Hermione woke up the next morning in the boy's dormitory. She was for a few moments confused as to where she was. Ron was digging through his chest for a pair of socks and looked towards her when she sat up.

"You're up, mate," Ron asked. "Well hurry up and get dressed we don't have all day."

Hermione made a face at Ron behind his back. She really didn't like him. She stopped when she heard someone across the room snort. Seamus had been watching and he was laughing at her and Ron. She looked to him and saw he was leaning against the wall and smiling at her.

Still laughing he walked towards her and whispered, "I know, he is an ass," and left.

Hermione felt a blush come on her face at how close he was to her but she quickly scolded herself. She shouldn't allow herself to blush around her dorm mates especially when she was a man or with Seamus; He already had a girlfriend.

Ron didn't wait for her to get ready and left without her with the other guys while she was still in the bathroom. She hadn't expected him to wait for her; after all, Ron was selfish but it had still hurt to be left behind.

She went downstairs when she remembered the project from the other day. She was not looking foreword to working with Evie Evans. This was turning out to be a perfect day…not.

She waited five minutes for Evie when the other girl appeared at the top of the stairs. She was carrying her books and the egg. What had they named the egg? She couldn't remember. It began with a 'K'. Was it Kerry, or something?… Karen? That was it. It was Karen. Evie didn't look too happy to see her but who cares; it was the egg that had her attention. It was naked.

"We should make her clothes," Hermione said.

Evie stopped and looked at her weirdly. "I beg your pardon."

"Karen. We should get her clothes."

Evie stared at her before saying, "Do what you want I don't really care," and shoved the egg into her hands. The girl walked off without even looking back.

Classes passed with unimportant banter between students. Hermione had seen Evie a few times during the day and they had switched off on who would take care of the egg. Hermione had it for the morning classes while Evie had it after lunch.

Now Hermione was heading outside for care of magical creatures holding the egg, Karen. She groaned when she saw a group of green-clothed Slytherins smirking at her. They were laughing and pointing at her as though she was the funniest thing in the world.

"Look, Its magnificent French Man who birthed an egg!" Draco Malfoy called out to her. He was standing in the center of the laughing Slytherins.

Hermione glared at them and tried to ignore them.

"Why so quiet, Monsieur?" He called out to her again, his French accent horrible. This time he and his band of idiotic Slytherins moved towards her and surrounded her in a circle. "Did that butch of a partner, Evie, abandon you with the baby?"

Hermione felt indignant at that. Sure she didn't like Evie but she wasn't a butch, just tomboyish, and Hermione didn't like Malfoy talking about her like that.

"You're one to talk." Hermione snapped back. "I heard you partner was Pansy Parkinson. She's more of a man than you!" A few of the Slytherins started to chuckle.

"Shut up!" Malfoy yelled. His voice raised a pitch or two.

Hermione couldn't help but smile.

"What's going on here?" a feminine voice asked. Hermione and the Slytherins turned their heads to see Evie Evans and Lavender Brown walking towards them. "Malfoy, what do you want?"

"I want you, princess," He joked. Evie scowled.

"Leave her alone, you pervert!" Hermione called. She shoved her way through the wall the Slytherins had formed and stood next to Evie and the silent Lavender. "Let's go." She said to the two girls. "They're not worth it."

With that, Hermione turned her back and headed towards Hagrid's Hut. A blue light shot past her and she smiled at the shooter's bad aim. But apparently he was much luckier the next time because blue light hit her square on the back and she fell forward at the force.

"Go away!" Lavender screeched and then Hermione heard the girl shout out curses at the Slytherins.

"Wow, are you ok?" Evie asked. She had put her hands on Hermione's shoulders and was trying to help her to her feet.

"I'm fine," Hermione answered. "What spell did they use?"

She looked closely at Evie's face and saw she was trying hard not to laugh. "Nothing on you but your…clothes." Apparently it was too much for Evie and she started laughing.

Hermione looked down at her cloths and groaned. "Not again."

"What?" Evie asked.

"Nothing," Hermione said. She once again found herself as a boy in a skirt but this time it was bright pink with polka dots and kitten faces. She whipped out her wand and pointed it at herself and said the reverse incantation. "I hate him," She mumbled.

"Me too," Evie mumbled. "He's just jealous because all the girls think you're hot." Evie squeaked at what she just said and shook her head as if to take back what she just admitted.

Hermione laughed at the almost-attempt at flirting from the Bulgarian. Evie was odd and so far the only girl who hadn't blatantly hit on her (even Ginny had her moments), so Hermione was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

"Why thank you," Hermione mumbled and took glee at the blush on Evie's face.

"I wasn't hitting on you," Evie said, "Just so you know. I wasn't being a creeper, I was just stating fact."

"Ok," Hermione wasn't sure if she should be comforted or sad by that admittance, but decided to just take comfort that at least Evie wasn't a boy-crazy fangirl.

"What a jerk!" Lavender said angrily as she collapsed next to Evie on the ground. She had just come back from her almost-dual with Malfoy but he had run off before she could even hex him. "We better hurry class is a bout to begin."

A/N: Wow, already chapter 8, I'm about half-way through with my edits! I can't wait to get chapter 17 posted.

Haha, I'm so stupid. I wish I could rewrite this project out, but that would be too much trouble. Also, Malfoy is really retarded in this chapter. I really like his character so I'm sad I wasn't able to do him justice.