A/N: Ok, so here we go again! Thank you to those who favourited, followed, and, of course, reviewed! If you can't already tell, I am Canadian, definitely NOT British. It's been a struggle, trying to make them seem British. Sometimes I just realize I don't sound in the least bit British so I'll stick a random word in there and then it just sounds bad... haha so sorry about that!

Chapter 13

I kept myself as occupied as possible in the days that followed my visit to the hospital wing. I couldn't bear to think about my conversation with Scorpius, and the gossip swirling throughout the castle wasn't helping either. I usually didn't pay much attention to it, but it was hard to avoid. It was even worse than the whispers surrounding my reconciliation with Adrian, probably because people seemed to have caught on that Scorpius was somehow involved. The rumours ranged from Adrian walked in on us hugging and got the wrong idea, to Adrian and Scorpius duelled over me and, when Adrian lost, he took to the Quidditch pitch to have the last say. None of the rumours were correct, obviously, but they still grated on my nerves. Even though I vehemently denied Scorpius's involvement, I worried that Adrian was saying the opposite. Of course, I couldn't know for sure since we hadn't spoken since the Quidditch match.

I found that homework worked best to keep my mind occupied. I finished everything I had due in the coming week, and then the next month's patrol schedule in my desperation. Unable to sit in the library any longer (I had taken to avoiding the depressingly empty dormitory), I decided to take the schedules around to kill half an hour. I started with Slytherin, since it was in the dungeons, with the idea of working my way up.

"Hey, Rose," Gage greeted me on his way out, "What brings you down here behind enemy lines?"

I smiled in return, "Just bringing the patrol schedules."

"Already? Scor doesn't usually come with them until the last week of the month."

"Well, I've been trying to keep things organized and running smoothly in his… absence."

"Sure you aren't just trying to distract yourself?" He asked knowingly.

I felt my spine stiffen despite my attempt to remain indifferent.

"You should go see him," he told me, leaning against the wall casually and crossing his arms.

I shook my head, "I already went to see him. I don't think he wants another visit."

"I think what he wants is to avoid getting hurt. You've already shot him down once; he doesn't want it to happen again. He's a guarded person, Rose. He opened up and, well…"

"He, uh, he told you about, um… everything?" I asked, trying to remain casual but failing miserably.

Gage grinned, "Well he couldn't really talk to Al about it, now could he?" I conceded to that point. "He gets released in two days. If you don't go visit him again, at least make sure you see him once he gets out in the morning."

I nodded uncertainly as he pushed off the wall and headed out of the common room, leaving me alone in front of the notice board.

"Would you stop hovering?" Dominique asked, irritated.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just… I already finished my work and have nothing else to do!" I replied, sitting back in my chair.

"You finished all of it? Even the Herbology diagram?" She gaped at me. "That thing's going to take me at least four hours."

I scoffed, "You're exaggerating. It only took me an hour to draw and label and then another to answer the questions, but I was really thorough."

"There are questions?!" She exclaimed, dropping her head into her hands, "Make that six hours."

I rolled my eyes, "It won't be that bad, Dom. I'll draw it for you, if you want?"

Her head jerked up to look at me like I'd grown a second head. "You're seriously offering to do my homework?" She reached across the table and placed her hand on my forehead. "Do you need to go to the hospital wing?"

"I'm fine. Just unbelievably bored."

"Not that I'm ungrateful for your offer, but I feel like it would be taking advantage so I'm going to have to regretfully decline or you'll never let me hear the end of it."

At that moment, I recognized the sound of Albus's laughter coming from the portrait hole and turned to see him coming through with Emily. She was blushing furiously and shoved his arm, grinning despite her embarrassment at whatever he'd said.

"You are awful, Al!" She exclaimed as they drew close enough for us to hear.

He held up his hands in defence, "It's not my fault Peeves thought it was you."

Her jaw dropped, "Yes it was! You pointed straight at me!"

Al waved a hand in dismissal, "Oh well… a little excitement in your life would be good for you. Now you have Peeves to watch out for. It'll keep you on your toes."

Emily shook her head, laughing under her breath. "I can't believe you."

"I know, I'm too fantastic for words," he said, grinning cheekily.

"What exactly did we miss?" Dom asked, her eyes narrowing as she looked between the two.

"Al jinxed Peeves and blamed me for it," Emily sighed, leaning back in the chair she'd plopped onto.

I whacked Al on the back of the head.

"So how's Scorpius doing?" Emily asked with a subtle glance in my direction.

Al nodded his head, "Good. He's doing a lot better. They're releasing him in two days. His hand looks promising and his spine and internal damage are pretty much healed. He just needs to take it easy for a while to give his body time to recuperate."

I snorted, "Scorpius? Taking it easy? That's like instructing a Hippogriff not to fly."

The morning of Scorpius's release I sat in the common area of the dormitory trying not to jump to my feet and pace. I wasn't sure why I was so nervous, considering he was likely to just walk right past me once he came in. Nothing to be anxious about at all.

At half past ten, the sound of the portrait swinging open caught my attention. I turned to face it, still unsure what I was going to say to him. What exactly was appropriate for this situation? I was out of time to make that particular decision, so I settled on, "Hey."

Lame, I know.

He looked up, slightly surprised to see me. "Hey…"

"How, uh, how are you feeling?" I asked tentatively.

"Better," he replied stiffly, "The healers told me I was supposed to rest, so…"

"Right, of course. I won't keep you," I said, stepping aside and gesturing to his staircase. He started up slower than he usually would have, a sign of just how much he was feeling the aftereffects of Adrian's idiocy. "Scorpius!" I called after him. He turned his head to look back at me, and I clenched my hands in front of me. "I'm glad you're ok."

He nodded once. "Thanks."

I sighed and flopped down on the couch once he'd disappeared upstairs. All of that worry for nothing, as usual.

"Any word from James?" I asked Emily as we sat in the library a couple of days before the end of term.

She shook her head sadly. "Not anything substantial. I don't know what's going on with him. Last night he was saying strange things."

"Strange how?" I asked, leaning forward on the table.

She shrugged. "Like how I have so many more years of training and apprenticeship ahead of me to become a healer and this year wouldn't be the last we'd spend mostly apart. I don't know what's going on with him, Rose, and he won't talk to me about it."

I sighed. "He will when he's ready. He probably doesn't have it all sorted out yet. Have you asked Al about it at all? Maybe James was more open with him."

She shook her head. "No, I wouldn't want to put him that kind of position. If James said anything, it was in confidence and I don't want Al to feel like he has to break that. But enough about my mess of a relationship, how goes your trainwreck?"

I laughed. "Let's not even go there." Even though I had more or less admitted to myself that perhaps I might have some sort of attraction to Scorpius, it didn't mean I knew what to do about it. He'd made his feelings pretty clear lately, so there wasn't even anything I could do should I decide that I wanted to pursue… whatever this was.

"You're no fun," Em pouted.

"He barely talks to me. Whatever potential that held is gone. It's for the best, though. I may not know exactly what I want, but I know I don't want a huge mess."

"How would it be a mess?" She asked, tilting her head to the side.

"A Weasley and a Malfoy? How is that not a mess?"

She shook her head, smiling slightly. "There you go again. Why don't you just think about Rose and Scorpius? You're more than your last names."

"I know, I know. I just... Can you imagine my dad's face?" Emily laughed at that, and I had to join in when I couldn't suppress my own giggle. "Besides, this all assumes Scorpius would even be on the same page. That's a big assumption to make."

"True, but it's like Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans, isn't it? No pumpkin juice without some earwax."

I snorted, "That has got to be the worst analogy ever."

The day we left for Christmas holidays I sat in the common area waiting for Scorpius once again. I had no idea what I wanted to say to him, once again. I just knew that I wanted to try to repair whatever might be left of our friendship and go from there. I wanted to learn to let go of my fear of defying expectations. I wanted to be Rose, instead of Rose Weasley.

He came down just after nine. He was walking a lot more easily than he had been when he was first released, but stopped moving when he saw me. I took this as a good sign, since he usually kept walking.

"I just… I wanted to apologize. For me this time. I shouldn't have crossed the line just to jump back to the other side of it. It wasn't fair to you, but I was confused. I've spent the past six years thinking you were this arrogant git I had nothing in common with, only to be proven completely wrong. I'm Rose Weasley. I'm supposed to have everything figured out. I'm not supposed to… I'm not supposed to feel anything for a Malfoy. When I did, it scared me and I panicked, okay? I don't even know what I feel, but I do know that it isn't what I'm supposed to. I'm not supposed to miss talking to you, but I do, and I don't know what to do with that other than say I'm sorry I made such a giant mess of things."

"So what are you saying?"

I bit my lip. "I don't know. I guess just that I was confused and I'm sorry that I hurt you because of it."

He nodded stiffly, saying nothing in reply. For once, I didn't let myself keep talking past what I originally wanted to accomplish, and left before I could convince myself I should. For now, an apology was enough. It wasn't a good idea to get involved with him, anyways. Look what happened the first time: I dropped my secure plan for the future, as well as my relatively stable boyfriend. What did I end up with? Nothing. Just a lot of confusion and pain. Definitely worth all of that…

"So, Christmas plans. Please tell me at least one of you is doing something more exciting than sitting around the house like me," Al pouted from his seat next to Scorpius in the train compartment. Everyone shook their heads, so Al turned to Scorpius. "C'mon Scor, you always do something more exciting than I do."

He half-shrugged, "I'm going to the Caribbean with my parents, but it's for my mother's work so it'll be boring."

"See? At least you'll see the outside of your bedroom. The closest I'll get is seeing Rose," he grumbled.

"Gee thanks, cuz. Love you, too. But you actually might not see that much of me. At least not during the day."

"What? Why not?" He asked, looking alarmed. It was almost like being trapped in a reasonably large house with only Lily and his parents for company was undesirable…

"Mum arranged for me to shadow the Head of the Muggle Relations department for a few days during the break. If it goes well I'll pretty much have a job after Hogwarts."

Al scoffed and mumbled something about me being a keener while Scorpius frowned and looked at me properly for the first time since the train left the station.

"What about your… other ideas?" He asked.

My heart rate picked up a bit at the fact that he'd addressed me directly. "This is a chance at a sure thing. I'd be stupid to turn it down on the off chance that something else comes along."

"Is it what you really want?" He probed. I made the mistake of looking into his eyes and instantly regretted it. Now I couldn't look away, and all of the compartment's occupants were looking between us with confused expressions.

I shrugged. "It's an amazing opportunity."

"But is it what you want?"

I took a deep breath, trying to keep my cool when all I wanted to do was send a well-aimed hex in his direction. I was 17, after all; it was perfectly legal… Maybe not really exemplary behaviour from a Head Girl, but still legal. "Yes."

I saw the recognition of my lie in his eyes. He seemed to remember we weren't alone, however, and chose to turn back to look out the window instead of calling me on it. He spent the rest of the journey in silence, leaving Al to talk to Emily since I showed no signs of speaking, either, and Gage, Ben, and Dominique all popped in and out of the compartment throughout the day. Once we hit the platform, he bid goodbye to Al, then turned to me and hesitated. I could feel the tension and wondered what he was going to do. It wouldn't surprise me if he ignored me completely.

"Have a good holiday, Rose," he said politely.

I blinked in surprise before managing to spit out, "Yeah, you too."

Al looked as though he was about to say something when James materialized suddenly, startling us both.

"Hello little brother, little cousins," he greeted us with a smile. He faltered when he turned to Emily. "Hi."

She tried to smile but seemed more nervous than anything. "Hi."

They stared at each other for a long moment before Dominique whacked James on the head. "Well, don't just stand there staring at her all day, you idiot."

It seemed to be what he needed because he closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her waist as she pulled hers around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder.

"God I've missed you," Emily sighed, her voice muffled by his shirt.

Trying to remain unnoticed, I pulled Albus and Dominique away from the pair. Dominique left us quickly afterward, leaving just me and Al.

"I hope they sort it all out."

Al glanced back at them for a split second after I spoke. "Yeah, maybe then James will stop acting like such a girl."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"He's been writing me at least once per week asking how Emily's doing. When I tell him she's fine he wonders if maybe she's handling the distance so well because she's falling out of love with him, or if there's someone else," he explained, a look of irritation on his face, "It's a bit annoying really."

I gaped at him, so many things swirling in my head I couldn't decide which one to put into words first. Finally, I settled on: "What?"

"He's worried she doesn't feel the same way anymore, or that she never felt as strongly for him as he does for her since she doesn't mope around constantly. It makes him wonder what will happen after Hogwarts, while she's off training, almost like she couldn't apparate to see him in a split second if she wanted. He's basically mad because she hasn't stopped her life to sit and miss him all the time."

"You've got to be kidding me. She loves him! She sits in the castle missing him while he's throwing his stupid parties!"

"Well, that's James for you. A hypocrite if there ever was one," Al replied bitterly. I looked at him in surprise. It wasn't like Al to take that attitude when referring to his brother. In fact, I hadn't heard him say a negative thing about James since back in first year, when he was still consumed by nerves at the prospect of living up to the image of a 'Potter'.

"He's probably just a little nervous. It's the first time he's ever been in a serious relationship, and the first time he's had to deal with distance. I mean, look at Adrian. He dumped me rather than trying his hand at long distance. It's natural to be a bit wary. James'll straighten himself out once he's had time to get used to the idea. They'll figure out the way to make it work."

"What makes you so sure?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. We'd reached a silent consensus to stop and scout the platform for our family since our aimless wandering was getting us nowhere.

"They love each other," I told him simply, "They'll find a way to make it work."

"I thought you didn't believe in having to make it work?"

I was silent for a second, wrapping my head around my own logic. "Well, every relationship has rough patches. At a certain point it either resolves itself or it doesn't. My rough patch with Adrian didn't ever sort itself out. We just got stuck in a loop of 'making it work' because, well, we fell out of love. This thing with Emily and James will sort itself out."

"How can you tell?" He demanded.

"Did you see his face when he saw her? There's no way he's not in love with her. If you still have love, you can find your way back to not having to make it work."

"Honestly, he just looked kind of constipated to me…" He mumbled, scanning the crowd. I hit him in the arm. "Oh look, there's your mum!"

I rolled my eyes at Al's very non-subtle method of changing of the subject and led the way toward the sea of red.

My first day with the Muggle Relations department head was dead boring. My second day was worse. I honestly couldn't think of anything duller than this job. I spent the day pretending to be interested in the documents Mr. Thicke was showing me, but all I could think about was how I couldn't imagine spending my days poring over these very documents and managing the situations he was describing. I would rather spend my days in a lab experimenting with the elements and attempting to discover new advancements for the medical field. I wanted to make a difference, and while I was sure this department was important in its own way, it wasn't the kind of difference I wanted to make. I wanted to help people who maybe couldn't have helped themselves otherwise, and I couldn't see how a job in Muggle Relations would accomplish that.

Given that particular revelation, I now had no interest in watching Mr. Thicke work. However, I couldn't very well tell anyone that. I had to stick it out. That gave me quite a lot of time to think about… well, anything else. Letting my mind drift aimlessly wasn't a luxury I often allowed myself, so it was always fun to see where it ended up.

"You know, you don't have to do what people expect of you."

Ok, so I guess that was kind of expected.

"However you want to lay blame, it shouldn't have happened."

"Right."

"So, can we just pretend it didn't? I like being your friend and I don't want things to be weird."

"Sure."

"I just feel like Adrian doesn't really know me. Not anymore, at least. There are things I talked to Scorpius about that Adrian just didn't get. It's like he doesn't get me anymore."

"And Scorpius does."

"I figured it wouldn't be this big of a deal. You've kissed lots of girls; I'm just one of many."

He pressed his lips together into a thin line, rocking back on his heels. "Right. I'm the one you can throw yourself at when you're having problems with your boyfriend without the worry that I'll have any kind of feelings whatsoever. You can use me to your heart's content because I'm, what did you call it? A 'Hogwarts Hunk'?"

"It wasn't because of Adrian. I wasn't just using you to make myself feel better. It wasn't just some random-"

"We can't-"

"No, you can't, Rose. You can't. Because I'm a Malfoy."

"Scorpius was someone I could be myself around, you know? Scorpius had no expectations."

Suddenly, my mind hitched on something and I backtracked quickly.

"I'm the one you can throw yourself at when you're having problems with your boyfriend without the worry that I'll have any kind of feelings whatsoever. You can use me to your heart's content because I'm, what did you call it? A 'Hogwarts Hunk'?"

"I'm the one you can throw yourself at when you're having problems with your boyfriend without the worry that I'll have any kind of feelings whatsoever."

"…without the worry that I'll have any kind of feelings whatsoever."

Scorpius Malfoy has feelings for me? How did I not realize this before? He bloody well said it right to me. I took a moment to process this before I remembered what a colossal mess I'd made of the situation and sighed. Had. He had feelings for me.

This day officially sucked.

"So how's the Ministry thing going?" Al asked, laying back on his bed.

I shrugged from my place leaning against the wall. "It's nothing special."

"So this has all been a gigantic waste of time, then?"

I nodded.

Al sighed noisily. "You have got to be kidding me! I've been going bonkers holed up here with only Lily for company, and you could have been here the entire time?"

I rolled my eyes. "You make it sound like I'm your only friend."

"Well, no, but you're the only one available pretty much all the time."

I flicked my wand at one of the pillows he'd thrown to the ground, sending it flying into his face before he could react.

"Ok, ok, I surrender!" He shouted when I sent another one right after.

"You know, if you want to be an Auror, you should probably keep your wand handy… and get some faster reaction times," I teased.

He stuck his tongue out at me, the very picture of maturity.

"You know why I first wanted to be an Auror, Rosie?" He asked suddenly, breaking the companionable silence that had fallen between us. I missed being able to just sit in his room for hours in a comfortable silence only interrupted by the occasional miniature conversation.

"Why?" I responded, genuinely curious. He'd never really given a reason; we just always knew that was what he wanted to do. I assumed it was because of Uncle Harry.

"Because James didn't," he told me, staring up at the ceiling, "I was looking for that one thing that would separate me from my brother in the eyes of our family, and that was it."

I frowned. "But you and James aren't the same, Al. Everyone knows that, and it isn't just because you want to be an Auror."

"I know that now, but I was only ten when I decided. I guess over time the idea grew on me. Now I can't imagine being anything else."

"I started taking Alchemy to set myself apart from my parents," I admitted. It was the first time I'd ever done so aloud. "Now I can't imagine doing anything else either."

This new information didn't seem to faze my cousin. "James was always loud and obnoxious, funny yet charming. I didn't want people to see me as a double of him. That's why I was so shy and quiet when we were younger."

"What changed?" I asked, even though I already suspected the answer.

"Scorpius. I made a joke about Derrick one day in Potions and he looked at me, dumbfounded, for a second and then came out with "you're pretty funny, Potter". After that I started opening up more. He felt like someone I could be myself around, you know?" It was the same thing I'd said to Emily. I didn't speak, just nodded, allowing him to continue. It was rare for Al to open up this much to anyone. "Then one day he asked me why I wasn't like that with everyone else. I told him I couldn't be, because it wasn't what anyone expected of me and it was too much like James. I didn't want to be like James. I put the question back on him, and he said the exact opposite of me. He said he acted the way he did because it was what was expected of him. He needed to act like his father. That was the day we actually became friends. We both decided to put our surnames behind us and just be us, you know? And I realized I actually do want to be an Auror, and not just because James doesn't. But then everything became all convoluted and screwed up, because then it was a competition. Instead of wanting to be my brother's opposite, I started wanting to best him in everything. I still do."

I laughed softly. "Al, that's just sibling rivalry."

"I tried out for Quidditch because of him. We may have played different positions, but I wanted to be the better player. It never did happen. We both made Captain, sure, but our chances of winning the Cup this year are slim to none. James led us to victory both years he was Captain. James made Prefect and Head Boy. James got-" He faltered, "James got everything possible. He's the Golden Boy they'll talk about, and they'll be left to wonder what went wrong with Albus."

It was ridiculous for me to feel a small glimmer of happiness that someone else in this family was as messed up as I was, but I did. Yes, I was happy that Albus felt the pressure of being a Potter just as surely as I felt the weight of being a Weasley. I'm a terrible cousin and an even worse friend.

"Albus, you know that's not true. So what if you don't do everything James did at Hogwarts. It's only seven years of your life. It's what you do after that that matters. Achieving everything James did doesn't make you a better or worse person. It makes you your own person."

He snorted.

"What?"

"Nothing," he replied. Hearing my responding silence, he caved, "It's just… you sounded an awful lot like Scor just then."

I smiled a bit at that. "We had a conversation slightly similar to this one once."

"Oh, so you're just ripping off his words, then? I never took you to be a copier, Rose Weasley," he teased. I could tell he was grinning, even if I couldn't see his face.

"Don't make me throw another pillow at you."

Christmas morning dawned far too quickly for my liking, since it marked the halfway point of the break. I prayed for time to drag more slowly, even though I was eager to return to school. I couldn't help but remember that my return to Hogwarts after the break would mark the beginning of the end of my school career. It was coming way too quickly, and I'd wasted far too much time this past term wrapped up in boy drama. Me. Rose Weasley.

A knock at my bedroom door startled me into a sitting position. It was Hugo, come to get me as was our tradition. "Hey, sis."

I smiled, throwing the covers back. When we were younger, he always used to come get me to go downstairs and scout the presents before our parents awoke. That way, we both got in trouble, not just him. As the years wore on, we kept the tradition. Now, Christmas was the one day each year that the two of us would wake up early and spend the hours before our parents dragged themselves out of bed talking and joking with each other.

"I'm going to miss this," Hugo told me during a lapse in conversation.

I frowned, "What do you mean?"

"Well, next year you won't be here, so this is the last time we'll get to do this, isn't it?"

I blinked, realizing that he was right. This was the last time we'd get to do this. Without realizing it, my eyes filled with tears in a sudden, overwhelming moment. This was the last Christmas I'd spend under my parents' roof. Next year, who knew where I'd be?

"Hey," Hugo said softly, pulling me into an awkward hug. We weren't very affectionate siblings normally. "I didn't mean to-"

I shook my head, trying to bring myself back under control. "It wasn't you. It just- It all kind of hit me at once, you know? Everything's ending."

This time he shook his head. "Nah, it's just beginning, Rosie."

I smiled slightly, successfully preventing any tears from actually falling. Scratch that. One managed to escape before I could stop it, but only one. Crying on Christmas had to be a first for me. I hadn't even cried when Hugo stepped on my toy broomstick an hour after presents were opened, or when I'd burnt myself on the turkey because I was too impatient to wait for Grandma Weasley to finish with it.

"Oi, what's this? Our children, actually touching?" My dad's voice broke us apart. I turned my head and wiped away the stray tear hastily before he noticed. I didn't want to cause a scene.

"That was a once in a lifetime opportunity, that was. I hope you took a mental picture," Hugo told him, grinning. I was grateful to him for trying to give me time to get myself together.

"Hey 'Mione, you just missed the moment we've been waiting seventeen years to see," Dad called up the stairs, laughing.

"What's that, dear?" She asked, coming into view.

"Proof that our children actually do love each other."

Mum and I rolled our eyes simultaneously, but laughed despite ourselves.

"Alright, alright, can we get to the important stuff, please?" Hugo asked, exasperated. "Presents!"

A/N: Ok, so I was going to keep going, but I figured this was long enough, and I'm due to leave a chapter on a happier note, considering the last two endings I've given you guys… So, without further ado, reviews would be lovely while I consider whether Rose and Socrpius will talk in the next chapter… hint hint…