Chapter 5:Drunks,Mines,Medallions oh my!

Disclaimer:I do not own Echo Night,Legend of Spyro,Resident Evil,Mirror's Edge,Dead Rising,Dead Space.I do own Layer.

Richard and Layer were standing in a dark little girl ghost laughed.

Richard:"OH GOD NO! NOT AGAIN!"

The lights came on,causing Richard to fall to the ground and have a seizure.

Layer:"There were 4 light switches right next to the door,idiot."

They went through a door,and there was a ghost butler blocking their path.

Ghost:"Sir,this party requires proper attire for leave."

Richard:"Fuck you,baldy!"

Richard tried to just walk around him,but some invisible barrier prevented him from doing left and entered another were in a hallway with doors,and a ghost slumpped against the wall.

Richard:"awww Not another ghost!"

Ghost:"My buddy Ed,he went all crazy like and we locked him in this secret sure do miss his drink."

Richard:" I'm sure you do."

Richard picked up this wine glass (while wearing that rubber glove to avoid getting Herpes) and entered a room next to the ghost.

It was a bar room with a piano,and several paintings.

Layer:"I hate poor art such as this!"

Layer ran over and torched one of the paintings with her fire went behind the counter and checked under it.

Richard:"Hey,I found a Claim Ticket!"

Layer paid no mind,she torched another Painting.

Richard looked under another opening and found 5 wine had pictures of;a sword,an axe,a snake,a man,and one that just said 'Ed's drink'.Layer torched another stuck his head over the counter.

Richard:"Hey Layer,I think this is another corny puzzle."

Layer smashed the piano.

Richard:"I was going to play that!"

Layer torched another painting.

Richard:"Hey,that last painting is painted by Ed.2 snakes,1 man,1 axe,thats it! It all makes sense now."

Richard used that combination of drinks,while Layer burnt the last painting.

They went back outside and gave the ghost the drink.

Ghost:"Blahh,I can't taste a thing."

Richard:"You mean I did that puzzle for nothing!"

Ghost:"Will you let Ed out?"

Richard:"No."

Ghost:"You'll need 4 medallions,ones in the air vent,and the 2 sisters should have one each."

Richard:"But wheres the 4th one?"

The ghost faded away,leaving an Astral Piece,and stuffed these in his cluttered vest pocket and entered another door.

Inside this room,there was this single girl sitting on a bed.

Girl ghost:"my sister is trapped by this demon in her room over there."

Richard:"Can we have your medallion?"

Girl ghost:"I wish there was a way I could help her."

Richard:"Okay lady,I'll go kill your sister's demon,then you better cough up the Medallion."

They left,and instantly noticed that the door across from them just closed.

Richard:"Someone just went in kill em!"

They went inside to a nearly identical room with another ghost girl.

Ghost Girl:"Don't come any closer."

Richard:"Wheres my Medallion bitch?" coming a step closer.

Then a ghost woman popped out of the bathroom.

Richard:"Alexia?"

Richard picked up a nearby chair and threw it at her,well,through her actually,and hit the Ghost Ghost lady held her hand up and projected some weird evil face thing or something,and it floated towards ,scared like hell,walked out of the door across from him closed.

Richard:"Someone else went in there,lets kill em!"

They scrambled into the room and saw the Girl Ghost was knocked out by a chair.

Richard:"How did this happen? That Ghost lady must have ambushed her from this Bathroom! Well I'll Fix that!"

Richard grabbed the radiator and placed it in front of the bathroom door.

Richard:"I'd like to see her get past shit,I dropped that busted stone in that other room."

Richard went back to the other room and saw that a Radiator was in front of that bathroom door picked up the busted stone,and went over to the Ghost Girl.

Ghost Girl:"Thank you."

The girl faded away,dropping a medallion and astral piece,which Richard went back to the other room and spoke to the girl.

Girl Ghost:"My sister is free,I can finally rest,oh,that stone you have-"

Richard:"You want it?"

Girl Ghost:"You must be the one Crea was waiting for."then she faded picked up her medallion and astral piece and left.

They went into another room that had 4 sailor figures,a stepladder,and an airvent.

Richard:"There's always something neat in the airvent."

Richard moved the stepladder over to the bookcase and climbed up and into the Air vent.

There were 3 openings in the first one showed a mall full of zombies and some guy fighting them with a golf second one showed a white hallway with 2 S.W.A.T cops who have their backs turned to this girl in white pants sneaking third one showed a bedroom where Spyro and Cynder were making out,Richard snapped a photo of this with his ,Richard found the last Medallion and left.

Richard:"Whats with these gay sailor dolls?"

Richard noticed the holes in the dolls,so he placed the Medallions in happend.

Richard:"What the fuck?This stupid secret passage was supposed to open."

Tired of his whining,Layer used her Fury Breath to burn a hole right through the wall,revealing a secret room.

Richard:"Now this is the way we should play puzzle games!"

Richard went inside and found a lone ghost.

Ed:"Thanks for opening that drunken fool,I want to drink with him again."

He faded away,dropping a key and astral Grabbed these and exited the used the Key on the double doors at the end of the hallway.

In the next room,the little girl ghost used her powers to pick up the furniture in the room and spun it in circles.

Richard:"Light time."

Richard tried to reach the nearby light switch,but a rocking chair smacked him in the face,sending him back into the hallway.

Richard:"Fuck."

?:"That girl isn't here."

Richard spun around and saw a little ghost boy.

Richard:"oh no? Then where is she?"

Everything whited out again.

Richard:"I had to open my mouth."

He looked around and found that he was inside some kind of got up and started noticed Layer wasn't with him,oh well.

But he got really scared when he saw some dude in some kind of brown body armor running towards Richard could run away,the dude ran into him.

Richard:"Hey! Watch where your going."

Dude:"oh,sorry."

Richard:"Why the hell were you running?"

Dude:"I don't know,I'm just used to it because of all them Necromorphs."

Richard:"What the hell is...Never mind.I'm getting out of here."shoving the dude off him.

Dude:"Can I come? It's scary down here."

Richard:"Whatever."

Dude:"I'm Isaac Clarke,who are you?"

Richard:"Richard Osmond."

Anyway the 2 morons eventually came to a rail car.

Richard:"This isn't a cave,It's Disney Land!"

Richard quickly jumpped in the car and pushed the button on the wall,sending it flying.

Isaac:"Hey Richard,wait for me."

Isaac ran along the tracks,but eventually came to a pair of tracks suspended in air.

Isaac:"Time to use my Zero-Gravity experience!"

He put one foot on the rail and then the started moving along the rail and leaned back and forth,almost slipping ,he made it(though it would be funnier if he didn't).

Meanwhile,Richard's car came to a stop,he pulled a nearby lever that moved the track,and pushed the car went forward,right into another wall.

Richard:"Yay,this is !"

Isaac finally came to this area,just as Richard's cart came back to where it stopped,along with Isaac.

Richard:"Hi Isaac,isn't this fun?"

Isaac was pinned against the reached out to strangle Richard,but Richard pushed the button again,sending the cart fell off the wall,pulling the lever in the switched the track,and Richard's cart broke through this wooden barricade.

Isaac got up and went over to Richard.

Richard:"AWW,there's no button must be the end of the line."

Richard got out of the cart,then he and Isaac found a rope ladder leading course,they climbed down and they eventually found this guy with a pickaxe.

Richard:"Hey,how's it going?"

Man:"I'm looking for my daughter,she was playing down here and never came 's her doll right there"

He kept hitting this rock,until Isaac took his Pickaxe.

Isaac:"Nah,you have to hit it like this."as he plunged the axe into the rock,crushing it.

There was a dead little girl behind it.

Man:"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!"

Richard:"Hey,that looks like the ghost girl."

Richard looked at the doll.

Richard:"This might be worth something on Ebay."

He picked up the doll and everything whited out was back in the hallway with Layer.

Layer:"Who the hell is that?"

He noticed that Isaac came back with him too.

Isaac:"Where the hell are we?"

Richard:"Aw lets skip the intros,I got a ghost to kill."

Richard went back into that room,the girl was still there.

Richard:"If you ever want to see your precious doll again,you'll leave me alone."

The Girl used he telekinetic powers to grab the cradled it.

Girl:"My doll...daddy gave this to me."then she faded away.

Richard:"Thank god almighty."

He went into the right room,which had-

Richard:"Another claim ticket!"

Then he and his buddies went in the opposite room and found a Tuxedo.

Richard:"This is a nice jacket.I think I'll wear it for the rest of this damn game."

Suddenly,a shadow of some dude with a knife appeared on the bed in front of them,before they could turn around,they all got stabbed in their backs and blacked out.

Richard:"Fucking A."

End

A/N:Please review.I'm thinking about writing a Dead Space parody,which might be more enjoyable since you can actually fight back.