Authors Note- I am going over and over in my head why people think Bella is ungrateful! Why does everyone say that about all of my Bella's! I mean, this one just doesn't like accepting gifts, she appreciates them, but she hates fuss! PLEASE UNDERSTAND! I don't want her to be a bitch, she isn't! Oh my...
Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.
BPOV
Edward reached one long arm in the fridge, and took out a strawberry and blueberry mixture, I squealed, knowing exactly what it was. He took out an icecream carton and opened it. He took out two bowls from the cabinet and set them on the counter.
The dessert was one that Esme had created awhile back. It was freshly squeezed juice from a lemon and orange, with blueberries and strawberries and a bit of sugar. It gets cooked on the stove for a few minutes until the fruit is soft. The icecream is softened up and you zest a lemon in it, stir it up and then put it back evenly in the carton to freeze again to have a better consistency.
He scooped three perfect scoops of icecream into the bowls and poured the berries over it. The helpings were equal as he put it together. The first bowl slid over to me, and he put the icecream away, grabbing something out of the fridge.
A can of Reddi Whip.
He shook it up and basically covered the whole top with the white cream.
" Whoa! Edward that's enough." I exclaimed, pushing his hand towards his own bowl.
" I think we could have some fun with this later."
" Maybe if your lucky."
We went into the living room and ate our dessert together. The television was flipped onto a channel that I wasn't exactly paying much attention to at the moment.. Edward spooned a berry, slathered it in the whipped cream and put it in his mouth, chewing slowly. I was staring at how he ate, because even the way he was eating was sexy.
" Bella!" he said loudly, snapping his fingers infront of my face.
" Sorry." I said, abruptly breaking out of my trance.
" It's fine, are you okay?"
I nodded and set my bowl down on the coffeetable. Edward hopped off the couch just then, taking both of our bowls with him on the way to the kitchen. He returned a few moments later with the can of whipped cream in his hand, and excited smile on his face. I rolled my eyes at him and he took a seat next to me.
" No, Edward. I am not going to play with the whip cream."
" Open."
" Edward..."
" Please." he begged.
I groaned and opened my mouth, bending my head back. He squirted it in my mouth, filling it up to the brink, basically making it impossible to close my mouth. I looked over at his smiling face and laughed with a mouthful of the whipped cream. Edward squirted some into his mouth and I gulped mine down, the sweet cream melting in my mouth.
" Come along, beloved."
He stood up, taking me with him and backed me towards his bedroom. Of course, he knew better then to make me walk backwards. It would only end in disaster and I probably should have turned around.
Unexpectedly, my heel hit the end of the couch and I went barelling to the ground. Edward, who'd been leaning into me at the time, fell right onto me as I hit backwards on the hardwood floor, right where the crack in my skull had been.
" Oh my god. Bella, babe. Fuck! Are you breathing?"
What I found out then, was that once being hit badly on a certain part of the head, hurt like a bitch when you hit it once again, no matter if it was just a little bump or a loud, painful smack on the ground.
" I'm okay. Fuck... I'm lying. That hurt like a bitch."
Edward lifted me off the floor and carried me to his bedroom, setting me down on the bed. I just killed the mood. I chopped it up, stomped on it and put it into a shredder with explosives. Quickly, I sat up and slipped my heels off. I took the pins out of my hair, and it went flooding down my back. I ran my fingers through my hair, wincing just slightly when my hand brushed over where I smacked my head.
" Do you feel better?" I nodded " Okay, you really suck at lying. I'm going to go get you some tylenol and water. I'll be right back."
He pecked my lips and disappeared into the bathroom. I heard shuffling around for a moment before Edward came back a moment later, handing me two white and oval pills. I gulped them down with the water and set it down.
" I'm sorry, you took me in here for a reason."
Edward sat down on the bed and flipped on the television. He laid back against the headboard and drew me with him, wrapping his arms around my waist. His hand came up to my chin, tilting my face up to his.
" Sorry I ruined our night."
" You didn't, beloved." he whispered, leaning down to gently kiss my lips.
I brought my hand up to curl my fingers around his jaw and he did the same. I scooted up and rested my head on his shoulder, enjoying our closed-mouth kiss. The room was feeling a little bit too warm, even more with the covers over our legs.
Slowly I pulled away. Edward looked at me, confusion covering his face.
" It's really warm in here, I just want to take the blouse off." I explained.
I untied the bow and unbuttoned the buttons. I had on a cream colored tanktop underneath it that matched the sweater/cardigan. Edward helped me slip it off and tossed it on the floor. I reached for the buttons on his shirt, slipping them through the holes. He slipped the sleeves off and now he was only left in his jeans and socks. I laid back in his embrace and relished in feeling of his skin against mine.
" Can I have another Birthday present?"
" What?"
" Kiss me."
He smiled crookedly and kissed me softly. His hands ran over my sides, caressing my skin with his soft hands and long, slim fingers. I rested my right hand on his shoulder and leaned into him, sighing in his mouth.
" Bella," he whispered
" What?"
Edward fiddled with the hem of my tanktop and I now knew what he wanted me to do, and it didn't bother me. I was wearing a black push up underneath, and it wasn't that big of a deal. I felt comfortable in Edward's presence.
His nose nudged against mine " I won't stare, I just want to hold you."
I brought my hands to the hem of the tanktop and lifted it over my head. I'd never really felt self conscious around Edward, even if I was laying almost half bare next to him. I tossed the tanktop over to wear my other top was. Edward looked at my chest a moment before looking at me.
The gold blanket on his bed was right there, so I tucked it against my chest. My hair was all ruffled and probably a mess. He looked at me before plucking the blanket away and pulling my chest tightly against his, resting his forehead against mine.
My eyes lazily shut on their own and I shifted my legs around until they were comfortably placed between his, but damn, those panty hose was not feeling great at the moment. I took my hands from Edward and unzipped the side of my skirt a few inchs.
" What are you doing?"
" These fucking panty hose are not feeling great, and I don't think your too comfortable in those damn jeans are you?"
He shook his head.
" Well, aslong as someone didn't go commando, take 'em off."
I pulled at the fabric, tugging it down my legs and over my feet. I knee'd Edward once on his thigh, and immediatly apologized for that one. Once they were off, I tossed them on the floor with my growing pile of clothes. Now, I could most definately not sleep in a fucking skirt either. I should of brought a bag of clothes...
" Edward." I asked sweetly just after he tossed his jeans off.
" Yes?"
" Can you give me a pair of your boxers, please?"
He chuckled " Of course. I don't really expect you to sleep in a skirt."
Edward quickly slipped out of bed and shuffled through his drawers. He tossed me a pair of black, satin boxers, similar to the ones he was wearing right now. I looked at them curiously, not really thinking they would be that comfortable, maybe they would be. They looked rather expensive.
" Uh, love? Do you have any others."
" Nope, all the same. But I have a pair in blue if you'd like." he said, motioning to his boxers and picking up a pair of the same from the drawer. " They're comfortable, I promise."
I shrugged and unzipped my skirt and tossed it at him, he put it in the pile and I bent down, slipping the boxers on. Edward was blankly staring at my chest, and I felt a blush rise to my cheeks.
" You said you wouldn't stare." I mumbled quietly.
" I am a man, Izzy B."
He crawled into bed as I covered myself with the comforter. The television was quite loud and I ran my hands over the bed, looking for the remote. Edward must of knew what I was doing because he turned it off and wrapped me in his arms.
" Thank you for a wonderful day."
" No problem, beloved. It makes me happy to see you happy."
I placed a kiss in the center of his chest and snuggled against him.
Waking up having Edward wrapping me in his arms was absolutely something amazing. My arms were wrapped around his waist, and his arms we wormed under mine and resting against my upper bare back, fingers splayed out over my tattoo.
The sun was shining in though the window, shining down on our entwined bodies. I like having his arms around me. I want to lay in them all day; for the rest of my life. His skin was so warm and even soft despite the abs and strong muscles. I felt safe in his embrace. Very at home.
Suddenly I heard Marilyn Manson's Death blasting from Edward's phone. I quickly reached over and grabbed it as I felt him stir beside me. I didn't want him to wake yet. I pressed the green answer button and put it to my ear.
" Hello." I whispered.
" Bella?"
Why hello Esme.
" Hi, Esme. How are you?"
" Good. I expected my son to answer his phone."
I cleared my throat " He's actually sleeping right now. I'll make sure to tell him you called."
" Thanks, darling. Have a nice Sunday."
" You, too. Tell Carlisle I said hello."
" No problem. Goodbye, Bella."
" Bye."
I clicked end and tossed his phone on the table on the side of his bed. I looked up at Edward and saw his green orbs peeking down at me, my lips curled up just the slighest.
" Who's that?"
" Esme. I told her you'd call her back."
He nodded and leaned down, his lips gently pressing against my neck. I stretched my legs, flexing my thigh muscles. Edward pressed his lips more firmly to my neck and tightened his arms around me. I brought my arms up to wind around his waist, pulling his chest closer to mine as he continuted to kiss my neck. It felt amazing; having his lips on me. It was as intense as a growing flame.
His left hand reached up to grip the back of my neck, pushing against it gently so that my neck was bent back. Slowly I felt myself getting carried away and lost in the feeling. I squirmed underneath him.
" Edward," I breathed.
" Hmm?"
" Were getting carried away."
" And..."
" Yeah, and soon it's going to be more and more until were carried away with eachother. You said you wanted to wait, I'm just so confused." I said gently.
With a frusterated sigh he pulled away. I reached down and grabbed my tanktop, quickly slipping it on as I stumbled out of the bed. I could see in his eyes that he was angry, but hell, if he didn't want to put a 'no sex' embargo on us, they he shouldn't of even said anything about it from the beginning.
" What, so now your leaving?" he said in a angry tone.
I ran a hand through my messy hair " No, Edward... But you know what? Stop being such a jackass. You decided from the beginning that you didn't want to level up that far basically until you love me. Well, according to my calculations, you haven't said it yet. So don't be getting pissy at me because all of this is over your head. I'm so confused, you act like you want more, but when we talk about it; you dont."
He opened his mouth.
" No, I'm not done. You think that it's easy to pull away from you? I am always the one to stop it because I know that maybe you would regret it in the end. I love you Edward, more then anything. When you feel the same, then maybe we can consider being that way together. Right now, let's just hold it back."
Now I wanted to leave.
Then I remembered. Edward drove us on the motorcycle and his Volvo was parked by my apartment. Taxi it is. I grabbed my clothes and went into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door. I kicked his boxers off of me and zipped up my skirt, buttoning up the buttons on my cardigan and tying the bow. I tossed my hair in a pony tail and grabbed my panty hose.
When I walked out of the room Edward was gone. I went into the living room to see him pacing with a cigarette hanging from his mouth, a pair of loose jeans hanging from his hips.
" How are you getting back?" he asked with a smirk.
" New York has a great taxi service."
He sighed, " Bella, please don't be like this."
" Your not allowed to tell me what to act like." I snapped
" Retract the damn claws, kitten." he mumbled under his breath.
I didn't even bother with a remark
I grabbed my phone that was laying on the kitchen counter and dialed the taxi service that I used from time to time. I gave them the street address and grabbed my bag, shoving my phone and panty hose inside of it, zipping it shut tightly. I went into the living room and grabbed my shoes, slipping them on as I walked towards the enterance.
Quickly I slammed the door shut behind me and walked down the stairs as fast as I could in heels. Once I got out of the building I took a deep breath of the cool air. About ten minutes later a cab pulled up, an elderly lady driving it.
" Where to, dear?"
I gave her my address and she hopped on the highway. I let out a sigh of relief when I got to my building. I handed her the money and thanked her. When I got into the apartment I grabbed the keys to the Volvo. I tossed them on the floor angrily and went to sit on the couch.
Now I was crying.
" Fuck, Swan. Get yourself together." I mumbled, tossing my heels on the floor as I headed towards the kitchen.
I had a massive headache, probably because I hadn't gotten my morning dose of coffee this morning. Edward had already come by, I heard him picking up the keys and he slipped a note by the door. He didn't even make a move towards my bedroom.
When I drank my cup of coffee, I started to feel a little bit better. I polished off a whole entire pot myself, used the washroom and then took a long and hot bath. My head rested against the end of the tub and I kept quiet to myself.
I didn't want to be angry at Edward, but he was so frusterating at times that it just got me so worked up. He truly had no reason to complain when this was all on him. His choice. His decision. Of course I will admit I didn't reject the offer, but even if I did, it's not like I could have told him that he had to have sex with me. I wasn't about to start acting like Tanya.
I knew what I was getting into when Edward and I decided for us to try out a relationship. I've seen Edward in many different angles. From drunk to happy. Sad to pissed off. Quiet to chattering away. And I love that he had flaws, but when he gets pissed off at me, well thats a whole different story rather to when he is pissed off at someone else. Either way, I got the short end because Edward always takes things out on people, preferably me.
He's gotten angry pissed, drunk pissed and confused pissed. All directed at me. I loved him to death, but sometimes it really made me upset because I don't like to fight, especially with people that I love and care about.
I just got so confused this morning. His body wants more, but his brain says otherwise. I wouldn't want to actually do the deed, only for him to resent himself afterwards. It wouldn't be fair to either one of us, and I didn't want him to have reason to regret things in our relationship.
Edward already had psycho girlfriend, and I hoped he didn't think the same of me after this morning. I reached my hands up and played with the white bubbles. My hands rested on my stomach finally and I sighed.
It had really been a weekend to remember, that's for damn sure.
I soaked in the warm water until my hands were like an old ladies. When I got out I dried off and combed out my wet hair, blowing it dry before going into my bedroom to change into comfortable pajama's.
When I got into the living room, I sat down on the couch to watch television.
The silence was deafening and the little note was just begging for me to look at it. I padded to the door and grabbed it, when I sat down on the couch I unfolded it.
I'm sorry.
Two words. That was it. I set it down on the end table and sighed, laying on my side on the couch. I draped a blanket over my body and shut my eyes tightly, wanting to just forget the day and drift off to peace.
I really shouldn't of doubted the fact that Edward would come by and take advantage of the key he had. Right now, I didn't even want to talk to him right now, because I was afraid he was still angry.
The deadbolt wasn't locked. It really was too simple. I'd been laying on the couch, it must of been around midnight because it was pitch black outside and I knew I hadn't gotten that much sleep. He was sitting on the floor infront of me, playing with a string on the blanket that covered me.
When I opened my eyes to ackowledge him, he looked at me with sad eyes.
" I don't know why I keep acting like a jackass about the subject. Your totally right about everything, and I'm saying it because it's the truth. I put the restrictions on, and my anger is misdirected at the wrong person. I do want to wait until I am completely in love with you, beloved, but sometimes other parts of me are hard to control once I get going."
He paused for a moment.
" I'm sorry, sweetheart." Edward whispered.
" You really made me upset. I just...You have to understand how confusing it is for me." I whispered.
" I know that, and the way that I acted was really no excuse to being frusterated. Bella, your not only my partner, but your my best friend and I never meant to hurt you purposely. I never do. I knew that getting into this would be a journey, and I won't act like that through it all. If I were you, I'd probably be confused, too."
" I'm sorry for yelling at you, and swearing."
" It's okay."
I sat up and held my arms out for a hug, he sat up on his knees and placed his arms around me. I kissed the side of his head and he bent back to kiss my forehead.
" I can't stand being away from you for even an hour. It took all that I was not to walk into your bedroom."
" I am not very good at keeping you away."
" Good. Now, I need to head back so I am taking you to bed."
He lifted me up in his arms and walked towards the bedroom. His lips pressed against the top of my head, and I snuggled against his chest. Edward gently set me on the bed once we reached the bedroom, covering me in the flurry of blankets on my bed. After placing a delicate kiss on my forehead he sighed.
" I'll see you later this week, beloved."
" I love you." I murmured
" I know. Sleep well."
Authors Note- Short, but I needed to fill this in before I get into the next chapter.
I hope everyone can see how confused Bella really is, I mean, Edward...damn. Make a decision, because it looks like his body and his brain are fighting against his hearts choice.
Well, I hope you enjoyed the chapter besides the short length.
Review if you'd like.