Authors Note- Read end notes.
Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.
April 11th
Friday
EPOV
Everything had been going relatively well, with school, work, and Bella. I'm basically back to normal after the accident back home in Chicago, and I was glad that I was finally back to my regular everyday routines. While it was fun living with my girlfriend for awhile, we both know that living together isn't best so early in a romantic relationship.
School has been going fine, classes are a little difficult at times but I keep my grades up and make sure that I study so I am able to pass my classes. I wasn't going to slack off in college, it's for education, not a party.
Things with Bella have been going absolutely great ever since I told her that I loved her, and she just glowed with happiness everytime that we saw eachother. I was so happy to see her smiling, making her happy was all that I needed. Our relationship had been taken up a level a while ago, and we'd finally made love once again since the night she had come back. I would never get over the feelings that overcame me when I was with Bella in such an intimate way.
Working has been stable, except for the random days I get off or have to work extra. I felt very accomplished that I am able to care for myself, such as paying rent for the apartment and paying for food, electronics and water.
Bella has been swamped with work and school, and the last weekend I saw her she was tired the whole time and starving. I felt bad for her, but I knew that she would be okay. Bella is a strong girl, and I have absolutely no doubt inside my mind that things won't ease up. She's always been okay when things became hectic.
Spring is here, and all of the ghastly snow is melted and gone from our sights, and I was starting to enjoy warmer weather, because then I can finally start riding my motorcycle more, and I'd missed that during the winter.
Today I was going over to Bella's, her shift was cancelled because Irina insisted that she take a break and just come in on Sunday. With her other co-worker on maternity leave, Bella was just working and working. I had to work tomorrow afternoon, but there was no way that I was missing out on a chance to be with Bella.
I walked out of my last class, seeing Ben walking down the sidewalk holding a cup of coffee.
" Hey man. How's it going?" he asked, walking up to me.
I swung my bag over my shoulder.
" Good, things have been going really great. School is a bitch, but I'm doing alright."
" Cool, Ange and Bella have been going out to lunch recently. Those girls have been getting attached at the hip."
I smiled " Good, Bella really doesn't have any girlfriends, well, ones that she can see routinely. I think she misses seeing her old friends, new are always good."
" Yes. I mean Angela and Kelly were okay friends, but that girl is bringing guys in and out. I don't think I want her hanging around a girl like that."
With a chuckle I nodded " Yeah. Bella is pretty...guarded when it comes to people. She was pretty burned by someone she thought was a friend, though they are on better terms...She's been through alot, and it's sad to say that I was an issue awhile ago."
We walked towards the edge of the campus, where the cars were parked.
" Really? You both are so perfect together it seems."
" Well, back in highschool Bella had a thing for me, actually when we were in London. I had a girlfriend, we broke up. Long story short she told me she had feelings for me but I was a confused jackass and she left for the summer before college. We got together when she came back, but alot of shit went down in that time."
" That's, too bad. Well, atleast things are going better for both of you guys, right?"
" Oh, yeah. Things are really great, I hope that won't change anytime soon."
He laughed and patted my shoulder " Yeah. Well, I'll catch you later, I've got to head home."
I bid him goodbye and went to my next class, which was my business class. I really was interested in my classes, which is a good thing. The last thing I needed was to be totally bored in my classes. Some of the teachers were really hard asses, because some kids really slacked off and joked around, but I knew that he appreciated students that were serious about this.
Once I was done with my classes I headed to my apartment to get some of my homework done before I went over to see Bella.
BPOV
I'd been feeling a little off for the past couple of weeks, like I had a cold or something. Ontop of working like crazy and studying for class, I was exhausted and hungry and all I wanted to do was lay in a dark room in a soft bed, preferably with my sexy boyfriend. I was tired of classes and I could not wait to the middle of May, when I could finally be on break.
It's already April, and I normally do not struggle with colds or allergies, I mostly get full blown flu's, but I knew that this was not the case. I felt different, weird and almost having and out of body feeling. Something was shifting inside me.
I almost knew what was wrong with me, but I had to make sure. I didn't believe it, but why not give it a shot so I could just call this out out as wrong. Atleast I hoped that it was wrong, it couldn't happen now
The whole day today I was slinking through classes, just dying to get home. I've never been so happy to be called by Irina, saying that she would have Eleazar take my shift so that I could get rest. She knew that I was not feeling so hot lately and said for me to take this evening and tomorrow to restore myself so that I could feel better.
I had money for this months rent, it had been paid yesterday and I was already well on my way towards next months rent, which made me extremely happy that I could accept today off of work. School was going okay, no tests so there was nothing much to study for, I could just spend the weekend mostly with Edward.
As I drove around New York, my thoughts scrambled around in my head as I tried to put them all together. I pulled up to the CVS pharmacy and got out of the car lazily, holding my wallet in my hand, walking towards the automatic doors to find my fate.
EPOV
I drove to her apartment, and took my key out of my pocket when I parked on the curb, her car was here so she was definately home. I walked up the steps and opened the door, shutting it behind me and locking it right back up. I jogged up the next set of stairs and grabbed her apartment key, shoving it in the keyhole and twisting it. I opened the door and shut it behind me, locking the door behind me.
What I heard a second later, had not made me feel very happy inside.
She definately was getting sick with something.
I put my school bag down and tossed my keys on the counter as I walked towards the bathroom. I found her leaning over the toliet, holding her hair back and wretching violently into the toliet. Quickly I went to her and knelt on the floor, taking her hair from her grip and gently rubbing her back with my hand.
" Sweetheart? Do have that terrible stomach flu again. Do you feel warm? Cold?"
She shook her head and wiped her mouth, quickly flushing the toilet. I felt her holding my hand tightly, and the expression on her face told me that something was indeed wrong, but I could not for the life of me figure out what could be wrong if she wasn't sick with a cold.
As Bella went to open her mouth and say something, she lurched forward and more of her stomachs contents were in the toilet, though it was alot of stomach acid and I knew that it tasted bad and it burned. I kissed the back of her sweaty neck and kept rubbing her back, wanting to make her feel better in anyway that I possibly could.
I smoothed her hair back and saw her hand reach up the grab the side of the sink, her knuckles turning white from how hard that she was gripping it. I reached my hand up to grab her hand from it's vice grip on the sink.
That's when I saw it.
That's when I saw the one thing that would change my life.
I stood up quickly, dropping her hair carelessly and picked all three of them up, staring at them wide-eyed as panic seeped through my entire being. I could still hear her wretching in the toilet, but that didn't exactly make it on the top of my thoughts at the time. I was too focused on what was infront of me.
A smiley face.
A pink plus
An equal sign
All of that changed everything.
" Edward, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to."
And she was apologizing for something that was not really her fault.
I had no idea what to say, I couldn't even open my mouth to tell her it wasn't her fault.
I heard the flush of a toilet and listened quietly as she brushed her teeth. I stood, holding the three positive pregnancy tests. When she finished she was staring at me, and she took them out of the hands and wrapped her arms around herself, staring down at her flat stomach.
" I didn't lie to you about taking the pill Edward, I swear I do. It's ninety nine point nine percent effective...I..."
I knew she was crying, I could tell by the way she was talking. Her voice was strained and cracking. Suddenly I felt her hand touch mine gently.
" Edward...Please just say something. I don't care if you want to yell at me, just say something."
" What are we going to do?" I asked, sounding as panicked as I felt.
She was about to talk, but I cut her off.
" We haven't even finished our first year of college and your dad...He is going to kill me. And my parents are going to be so disappointed! Dad is going to disown me and I... I'm nineteen! I can't be a dad, I'm not fit to be a dad. I can't even keep a fish alive let alone another human, and babies...They have to eat, they need a crib, a changing table...and diapers! I don't know how to change a diaper! And I'll have to quit college and be a waiter for the rest of my life. I don't want to do that?"
Her face fell, as if her life was crashing all around her. I heard a small sob escape her and I was quickly snapped back into reality.
I wasn't the only person who would have to deal with all this shit. Bella would have to carry this child.
" Bella, what are we going to do? We can't do this, but we can't just get rid of it, it's not right."
I wrapped my arms around her slim waist and pulled her shaking body against mine.
" I'm scared." she whispered.
" I am, too, baby."
She buried her face against my neck and I lifted her feather light form into my arms, holding her close against my chest. I brought her to the couch and let her curl up into me while I held her, staring down at her stomach.
We didn't even say a word, just held eachother as we kept to our thoughts. I could feel her tears soaking my shirt and a sob would escape her every few minutes. I knew that my own silent tears were on the skin of her neck and probably in her hair that I had my fingers buried in.
How could Bella and I take care of a kid when we were still kids ourself. We should have been more careful, used condoms ontop of her taking birthcontrol, but we didn't care, it didn't matter now because what's done is done and there would be no going back.
Never could I ever tell her to terminate the pregnancy, knowing that I would be killing something that is a part of myself and Bella, would eat at me for the rest of my life.
It would be one less person in the world to smile.
Two eyes that we would never see.
Two legs that would never walk.
And a voice that would never get to speak.
I wasn't ready to be a father by any means, but I knew that I would try to be the best one for our child. There was a little tiny person inside of the person that I loved most in this world, I had to be a great father.
Bella lifted her head and tipped my head up, meeting my teary eyes to hers. Her hand ran through my messy hair with a thoughtful look on her beautiful face.
" How can we do this?"
" We'll figure it out, beloved. It'll be okay, I promise."
She sniffed once and I tangled my hands further in her hair, pressing my lips against her temple. Bella leaned against my chest for a moment before pulling away.
" You need a fresh shirt." she stated, standing up.
" Bella, do-"
But she was already gone and darting towards the bedroom. I sighed and unbuttoned my white button up, tossing the damp shirt over the coffee table and running my hands roughly over my face. I felt her hand on my shoulder and I looked up, taking the black t-shirt from her hand. Instead of letting me put it on, she straddled my lap and put her arms around me, gripping my back with her small hands.
I was a little taken back but I wrapped my arms around her none-the-less.
After a moment she pulled away and I slipped the t-shirt on before taking her back in my arms and holding her. I smoothed the wrinkle on her forehead and she relaxed, it was only one short moment before she shot up.
" Bella, wha-"
She clamped her hand over her mouth and was jogging away. I followed her slowly and she was once again in the bathroom. Luckily she had put her hair up in a messy bun thing, so it wasn't falling everywhere.
" Oh, love."
" Go away. I don't want you to watch." she said before lurching forward once again.
I felt terrible that she was experiencing this, it was of my creation that was making her do this.
" Bella, please let me be here."
" Just...Go into the living room and watch television or something." she said, sounding like she had a bad cold.
" You expect me to sit on a couch and watch television, while my girlfriend is throwing up because of something that is my fault."
I stepped forward and grabbed a kleenex, wiping the tears off her cheeks. I sat with her until she was finished and let her brush her teeth before sweeping her up and carrying her off to bed. Once she was settled in, I saw as she braided her hands together and rested them on her stomach.
" I should probably call a doctor...Make sure that things are going okay." she stated quietly.
" Yeah, of course."
" Then we have to call our parents. There's no way we could fly out now and if we wait until after school then they will be angry that we waited to tell them."
I nodded in understanding " I think that way would be better. Less chance of being killed."
She laughed, and it was the most beautiful noise. I didn't want her to be sad.
" I wouldn't let them kill you. Please take this off." she said, tugging at my shirt.
" Then why did you bother getting another if you want me shirtless."
" Because...Well, your too sexy for your own good and I didn't think it would be the best time to jump you."
I almost blushed, but I smiled at her instead and leaned forward to kiss her forehead quickly before pressing my forehead against hers. I grabbed her hand and stared deep into her chocolate eyes.
" Everything will be great, I promise."
" How do you know that? Were barely adults ourselves, how can we take care of a baby? How can we be good parents?"
" We've grown up with great parents. Bella, they will help us out when it comes to knowing what to do. Right now, lets just focus of getting to a doctor and we can go from there."
She nodded " Okay.."
I nudged my lips against hers and she leaned up, pressing her lips more firmer to mine. I moved my lips against hers softly, letting my tongue slide with hers in a sweet kiss. We laid together for awhile, kissing eachother languidly until we were literally breathless
" I love you." I murmured.
" I love you, too." she answered.
I rested my hand on her upper thigh and pulled her towards me, letting half her body rest over mine. Her head rested on my neck, and she kissed my adams apple before resting where she laid.
April 19th
Saturday
BPOV
Edward held my hand tightly as we walked into the cool building. I really did not want to have to do this, I did not want this at this time of my life. I'm not ready for it, at all, but I have to face it head on and deal with our consequences.
He clicked the elevator button and I tapped my foot nervously until the metal doors opened and we stepped in, clicking the button for the fourth floor. I turned into his chest.
" I don't want to do this, I can't do this, Edward. I'm not ready."
Gently he ran his fingers through my hair, I could tell that he was just as nervous as I was feeling at this time. I wasn't the only one who wasn't ready for all of this. It had to be done, it had to be.
" We need to make sure that everything is going okay with the baby, and get you on vitamins and things. Bella, you can't skimp out on things when it comes to he or she's health."
I felt terrible for sounding like I didn't even care about the baby. It wasn't that I didn't care, I was so intensely scared that I just didn't want to do anything about it at the moment.
" I'm sorry I sound like I don't care...Edward, I'm just scared."
" I know, love, but we have to take care of the baby first and then deal with our problems."
When we walked out of the elevator and down a long hall, we stopped at a door that had; Dr. Kari Hemmingway in black letters on the frosted glass doors. I tightened my grip on his hand and he opened the door, letting me through first before himself.
I was right about to run out of there when I saw a very pregnant girl who looked to be about sixteen. Edward pulled me forward towards a desk where a girl sat in a chair on a computer.
" We have an appointment at two this afternoon for Isabella Swan with Dr. Hemmingway." Edward said in a business-like tone.
" Yes, just sign your name and take a seat until your name is called." the lady said, talking to me.
I lifted the pen with a shaky hand and signed my name sloppily before slinking into a chair with my knee's against my chest. There were so many pregnant women in here that it freaked me out, I was so fucking scared, not as scared as I was after the accident on New Years, but about a step back from that kind of scared.
" Please calm down, your going to make me as nervous as you are." he said, kissing my temple.
I took a deep breath and rested my forehead on my knee's, trying to keep myself calm.
We sat there for about twenty minutes until I heard my name. Edward held my hand as we walked down a long hall with linoleum floor as a nurse led us. We walked around for awhile until she put us in a room and let us take a seat.
" Okay, I just have to ask you a few questions before the doctor gets here."
" Sure."
" Date of Birth?"
" September 13th, 1988."
" Weight and height?"
" Around one hundred, one hundred and ten. I am Five, four"
" Do you take any prescription medication?"
" No, I do not."
She nodded " Okay, and when was your last menstrual cycle?"
" It stared February 26th, and lasted six days."
I felt entirely too embarassed to talk about this infront of Edward, though he just rubbed my knee reassuringly and rubbed my shoulder.
" Alright, and when did you start feeling off, or getting sick."
" Around the end of March is when I started feeling a little off. The Tuesday before last is when I started to get the sickness in the morning, and recently it has also been in the evenings, I can't exactly keep any food down right now and I have been very tired."
" Of course. Now I am just going to take your temperature and blood pressure, check your heart and lungs, just to make sure your completely healthy."
Everything seemed to be normal as she said when she was finished, and while I was still nervous, I felt a little better about the whole entire situation then I did when we first walked into this building. When she left the room, she told us the doctor would be in very soon and shut the door.
" Are you okay?" Edward asked.
" Yeah, I'm okay."
" Are you sure, beloved?"
I nodded. " Yes...Look, Edward, I am nervous as hell but I can't let take over me because I can't spend nine months depressed, nervous and anxiety ridden." I murmured.
A few minutes later someone walked through the door. She was wearing a pair of black slacks, a pair of very fancy heels, a red blouse and a white lab coat with a nametag on the breast pocket, reading; Dr. K. Hemmingway. Her hair was blonde and her eyes were a light brown and she was quite fair skinned like Edward and I.
When she saw us a smile graced her face. She sat on a rolling stool and introduced herself before before she looked over my chart briefly.
" Okay, so you've been feeling off for about three weeks now, vomitting started two weeks ago. Have you been experiencing brief dizziness every once in awhile?"
" Yeah." I mumbled.
" It's not too early to have cravings...It sounds like from here that you are pregnant, you have a lot of the symptoms. Very tired, hungry, vomiting and dizziness. It says here that you are nineteen, is that correct?"
She really didn't look like she was judging me in any way.
" Yeah."
" I am guessing that this wasn't exactly planned?" she asked, taking a bottle of something out of a drawer.
Edward cleared his throat " Not exactly, but we have to do what we have to do."
She smiled " I have alot of teens in here that are pregnant, and while some are a little careless, there are some who are very understanding about everything, and know that they have to deal. I bet everything will be just fine. I'm just going to do an ultrasound and if I don't see anything, we will do a bloodtest, but I don't want to have to do one if I don't exactly need to, so lets check this out."
The doctor had a machine by the bed, and she encouraged me to lay down. Now I was nervous. Edward sat in the chair close to the bed and rested his chin on my shoulder.
" It's okay, Bella. No worries."
I nodded and the Dr. Hemmingway lifted up my shirt to reveal my flat stomach. She turned on the machine and picked up the ultrasound device where it would show the sonogram picture. She picked up the bottle she had taken out a few moments before and squirted clear blue gel on my stomach. I jumped from the coldness.
" Sorry, it's a little cold." she warned.
" Yeah, I figured that out." I said with a laugh.
When she pressed device against my stomach the screem on the machine came alive with a small buzz before a loud thumping noise filled the room. I knew I was crying by the time I looked at the screen.
I looked at Edward and saw him staring at my neck, not the screen.
" Edward, look."
She pointed to the screen, a little black dot was there, floating around inside of me.
" This is the baby. From what it looks, you are indeed about four weeks into the pregnancy, which makes your due date in the beginning of January. He or she's heartbeat is very strong and healthy sounding. Nice and steady, which is perfect."
I kissed Edward's forehead " Just look, Edward."
He clenched his eyes shut tightly before opening them and looking at the screen. She ran the ultrasound device over my stomach, letting Edward look before she cleaned it off and put it away. She handed me a warm, wet cloth and I wiped off my stomach, getting rid of the gel so I could put my shirt down.
" Well, Isabella, I think we are all set. I will have my receptionist book you another appointment in a month, and give you a list of prenatal vitamins that you will need. I really look forward to being your doctor, Isabella."
I smiled " Thank you for everything."
" Your welcome. Just take it easy, focus on the baby and I will see you next month."
She shut the door behind her and I looked at Edward, who had been so quiet. He was sitting in the chair, and I moved off the exam table and knelt on the floor infront of his knee's. I didn't care that the floor was dirty at this moment, all I cared about was Edward.
" Talk to me, Edward."
" It's so... real."
He stood me up and wrapped his arms around my waist tightly, but not too tightly. I knew that he was probably worried about crushing me, or...the baby.
" We have a baby." he whispered.
" I know."
When we walked out of the room, we went back to the waiting room and booked an appointment for May 18th at twelve. The lady took a few minutes and handed me a very short list of vitamins, there were about three named on the list. Once we were finished Edward walked us out, holding my hand tightly.
Upon getting in the car, we sat there for awhile, Edward was just staring at the gear shift.
" We have to tell them this weekend."
" Yeah?"
" I'll tell my parents, you tell yours."
I nodded " Yeah. We can call them sometime tomorrow."
On the way home we stopped at the pharmacy to pick up some of the over the counter vitamins. We went to his apartment, and I was really hungry at that point and Edward made us sandwiches to eat for lunch.
" I'm really tired, is it okay if I take a nap?" I asked him.
He looked distracted, and something was troubling him " Yeah, go ahead."
I'd never felt so out of sync with him as I did in that moment
Authors Note- Here is the chapter. The next one should be up in a half hour, since most of you read this one.