Ars Moriendi

Chapter 6

Therapy and Apologies

_Z_

Apprehension went through him at X's request; the little bot looked pretty bad… he didn't want to strain him, after all. Or talk about his problems, and X would talk about his problems, of course. X thought he was a therapist every time any of his friends started acting off. But he had to admit they were grateful to him for it, most of the time.

Zero looked at Alia as if for her blessing, silently asking her if it would be okay. Would X be alright engaging in conversation for an extended period? X's talks tended to be lengthy ones at times, and he always tried to resolve as much as he could as soon as he could. He seemed weak, but Alia nodded and nudged the door open further for him. Zero hesitated for a second, simultaneously unnerved and bolstered by the piercing gaze of X's optic. The older unit was unreadable, neither displeased nor happy as far as he could tell, and he may well have been both, knowing X. Zero sighed and moved to stand near the bedridden 'bot, hearing the door close quietly behind him.

"X," he greeted as he leaned against the pale green wall nearest X's bed, folding his arms over his chest in a pose that was both defensive and uncomfortable.

X was uncommonly blunt today, it seemed, and he didn't even exchange any pleasantries before getting right to the meat: "Zero, have you been avoiding me?" X asked quietly, utterly still. He wouldn't stop staring at him.

"…." He wasn't denying it he just wasn't sure how to respond. Finally, he growled out a scolding, "You almost got yourself killed, you idiot."

Except it was actually his fault, wasn't it? He'd been the one who screwed up the kill, been the one to detonate Gekota, purposefully or not. And he'd been unable to take X back to safety with him—X could be fine other than a head wound had he not…. Had he not what? He still didn't know what had gone so wrong.

"Zero, you're not angry with me, are you?" X's soft, worried voice cut through his thoughts.

No, he wasn't and he was quick to reassure his little buddy. "I'm not," he agreed.

The brunet fidgeted with his bedcovers for a moment, fingers tracing the familiar green and blue patchwork of it. He'd had that one for as long as Zero could remember; it was likely he'd had it even back when he lived with Cain. X seemed to keep everything he could, anything that he perceived as precious, even if Zero thought it was junk. Sometimes, he swore the unit was turning into a hoarder.

"Are you frightened?" X asked again, voice still quiet, careful.

"I don't get scared." It was a lie.

"Everyone gets scared." Denying wouldn't do him any good, X could always see right through him anyway.

Maybe Axl was onto something about X being psychic. Or empathic at least, as X seemed to know their thoughts before they were voiced. And how they were feeling, but Zero had always blamed that on X's being a mother hen. Cain had always said X was good at reading body language and Zero found that was a more comfortable explanation of X's near-omniscience.

"Not me."

There was a great heave from the small android in the bed, a look of long-suffering crossing his face. Zero felt sorry for him, having to deal with Axl and himself. At least he rarely angered the brunet—though there was that one incident with the frying pan. He would never forget the frying pan; both out of remembered pain and because it embarrassed his little buddy horribly to bring it up.

"Of course, great emotionally-impaired one." Ah, there was the sass. He'd missed it even though he'd only been a few days without it.

"X, I'm sorry," he said suddenly, sounding just as tired as the other. X looked stunned. "I shouldn't have done what I did, but I…. I needed to sort myself out, alright?"

"I forgive you," X said calmly.

"….So, is that it?" The blond began edging toward the door, a little embarrassed at having apologized.

"No. Talk to me," X insisted. Of course that wasn't it, this was X he was speaking to. "Tell me what you've been doing."

"Pushy today," he mused. X could be very pushy at times.

"I'm old and bored, that is not a good combination. Are you just going to leave me here to waste away?"

"You're not that old, X," Zero sighed. "I pity whoever's going to be around when you finally do get old."

"It'll be you," X said certainly.

"Of course, unless you nag me into an early grave."

The brunet looked hurt at that, then he cocked his head, seeming to observe Zero closely. "There's something else bothering you, isn't there?"

Zero felt the back of his neck crawl upon hearing those words. Axl's jokes that X was psychic kept floating to the top of his memories. "X… that's enough, you need your rest. You look tired."

"Zero, you are not leaving this room until you're honest with me." The small unit puffed himself up a bit, looking like he was working himself up into a fit of self-righteous annoyance. "If you insist on keeping everything bottled up inside then I'll have to be your cork screw."

"Don't make metaphors when you're unwell, X," Zero sighed, rubbing his temples at the aggravation. He was amused by it though, and a smile tugged at his lips.

"Alright, alright," X smiled, chuckling in a tight, strained way that made Zero remember that the other was in pain. "But seriously, I'm not letting you out of here until you tell me what's wrong, understand?"

There was a stubborn scowl contorting the unit's features, and Zero was torn between sighing and bursting into laughter. Sometimes it was difficult to tell when X was genuinely displeased and when he was merely playing—and X played a lot. But when he was angry he was a force to be reckoned with. A tiny force, but a force all the same. It was astonishing to think of the kills on X's record, especially given the first Uprising… X had been little more than a reluctant rookie who kept frustrating the senior Hunters with lot of promise, and a lot of disappointment. Poor thing, he'd been so skittish about fighting before, and then after Zero was resurrected… X had behaved very oddly for a while.

Zero shook himself from his reverie and looked X in the eye. No, he wasn't truly angry yet, but he would be if Zero kept refusing. And Zero, to his surprise and shame, gave in with a heavy sigh. He was tired of feeling bad, so why not tell X?

"There's a rumor going around that I tried to kill you."

A dark eyebrow rose in consideration. So this was news to him. "And?"

"What do you mean 'and'?"

"And?"

"…..And I'm not sure if I can deny it. I don't really know what happened then."

X's expression was suddenly cautious, "Oh, you can't? Do you think…?"

Zero was anything but immune to the Virus, he was the original carrier, after all, and he'd lost control to it more than once. It wasn't too farfetched to think he'd momentarily lost control during teleportation, was it? "It's possible."

"It's ridiculous," X countered immediately. "You don't remember it, do you? I didn't sense any flare of the Virus either."

"You were unconscious," Zero retorted irritably. How could X be sure when he was either delirious from a head wound or knocked out?

"True, I don't really remember what happened, but I could still sense it, surely." He did sound sure of himself, and it made Zero feel a little better.

"I want to believe you."

"But you believe them instead? I'm hurt." It was a jest, but Zero didn't find it all that funny. After all, he had hurt X.

"Because of me… again."

"Zero, please, I'm getting tired of hearing this. I'm telling you to stop blaming yourself right now." There was that stern tone that X took on when he was dealing with rookies, and small children. Great, he was being treated like a child by X.

"I can't just stop feeling guilty," he protested loudly, prompting Alia to bang on the door.

Both males started in surprise, and Zero scowled because that meant she was eavesdropping. X recovered quickly, though, and told him.

"Let it go."

"X, it's not that simple—"

"Let it go."

"X. I appreciate you wanting to help me, but you can't—"

"I'll beat it out of you if I have to. Zero, I am fine. I'll be up on my feet in a few days. You didn't get me killed, and you didn't try to, either."

Zero found himself smiling, and, honestly, he felt a little better. X was as feisty as ever, so it was difficult to disbelieve what the brunet was claiming. "Fine, Dad, I'll let it go." Or he wouldn't talk about it anymore, at least.

Axl returned early the next morning, having finished all the available C rank missions he could find, though, really, Alia had finally caught him and booted him out. Pallette and Layer had refused to give him any mission coordinates, and he'd been forced to go to X. And he wasn't shy about telling him that. He was anxious at first, unwilling to look directly at X, but eventually he found his mind laid bare for X due to his freaky psychic powers.

He hadn't even had to ask anything! X had just gone quiet and then all of a sudden Axl couldn't stop talking! X looked extremely amused though, as he watched him when he was supposed to be watching the TV.

"So, did you do well on your missions, Axl?" He asked, once the redhead was through ranting.

"Yep!" He responded immediately, then paused. "Well… I nearly got killed by a Mett."

"I thought you said you were only taking C rank missions, what sort of super Mett was this?" X frowned. He seemed worried, but then the old man worried about everything.

"It was an accident. I went to one of those old bases in the jungle—South America, I think?—where everything's all overgrown? It hit something behind me; I think it must have been a fuel tank."

A concerned frown appeared on X's pale features, or, at least, what of them he could see. Axl hurried to reassure him.

"Hey, but I didn't get blow up! I just got blown halfway across the map with a traumatized Mett." The little thing had wailed pitifully. He'd almost taken it home to show the others, but he didn't think Signas would allow a wild mechaniloid inside HQ without good reason.

X's good hand dragged across the uninjured side of his face, radiating exasperation as he listened. "I thought they'd cleaned up out there…."

"Out where?"

"Out anywhere that's been abandoned. It's dangerous to just leave that sort of thing lying out for anyone to steal, or for any rookie to trip over."

"Hey, I'm not a rookie and I didn't trip over it. I missed a Mett and the Mett blew it up, not me," Axl corrected quickly, fists jammed against his hips. Then he looked around and spoke again before X could scold him again.

"Say… where's the blond?" He asked, as if only just realizing Zero's absence from the room.

X picked at his bandages, peering underneath the ones on his damaged hand. "Oh, he went out to report for duty. Signas called him in and debriefed him, and he's been cleared for work, so I imagine he's out on the field by now."

"At least he's calmed down by now." He'd almost pity any Maverick that a cranky Zero came across. "You did get him to calm down, right?"

"I hope I did, it's hard to tell with him sometimes" X exhaled, glancing out the window for a moment. Zero was hiding something, probably, if X was still upset over him. Axl had to wonder just what had made Zero so touchy these last few days.

It couldn't have been something he'd said, right?

It felt wonderful to be working, productive, again, he had to admit. Moping alone in his quarters like a moody teenaged girl had taken a toll on him. Zero was an active Reploid, who rarely asked for vacations, or off time for injuries or upset: Missions usually helped with upset. X would probably be happy to see him working again, given that the older unit knew what a good stress reliever missions were to him.

"Zero?" A soft voice made him halt just outside the strategy room.

Zero turned at the sound of the familiar voice, dread twisting in his stomach. He'd almost forgotten about her. Everything had been so blissful today up to this point.

"Era?"

The tall female Reploid looked a little calmer than she usually did when she saw him, her pale features not contorted into a scowl. She looked a little embarrassed, actually.

"I'm…." she began quietly, brown eyes averted. "I'm here to apologize…. For my unacceptable behavior."

Zero was immediately suspicious, and he had to make a conscious effort to not let his disbelief apparent. She'd been thoroughly unrepentant for being a pathetic navigator, or for nearly getting him killed several times. Granted, she shaped up on tougher missions, but she always remained completely snippy at every exchange and Zero found it unsettling after being used to Alia or Layer's more friendly responses. Signas himself had told Zero she'd be let go immediately were it not for the dire need they had for Navigators: They were already pulling double shifts regularly, and some mechanics had been drafted into the much-needed position.

Signas had suggested reassigning her to someone else, and he'd wholeheartedly agreed until he realized she might keep the attitude up with someone less skilled. He would rather have a deadbeat Navigator than push one on a less experienced Hunter—Zero could work without a Nav, after all.

He crossed his arms as he scrutinized the woman, her pale red hair forming a curtain over most of her face—like X's bandages covered his. Zero shook himself. X was fine. Fine.

Zero wasn't entirely sure why she had turned on him like a wild animal; they hadn't met on bad terms at all, in fact, they'd exchanged a few kind words in the hallways before…. Before whatever had happened. One day she'd come up to him and asked him if he was free one Friday night—two weeks ago?-and he'd turned her down, saying he couldn't go anywhere. But she had access to his schedule, didn't she? Or, at least, to Axl or Alia, or even X, and they could all tell her he was not busy. Maybe she'd asked them beforehand and that was why she'd stormed off in a huff.

Regardless, it didn't excuse her repulsive behavior, and he let her know that as he stared her down, unrelenting. No, he did not believe or trust her. Not after that gross overreaction.

"…." She looked at him again, and then at the floor. "I really am sorry. I know I can't… justify my actions, but… I thought you were leading me on."

One of Zero's eyebrows rose at that. What in the world was she talking about? Was it his old reputation for flirting? That had been beaten out of him for the most part; he only flirted if he was in an extremely good mood and faced with an extremely good-looking lady: Which Era was. Maybe he really had flirted with her and didn't recall?

"See…. I had someone say you were saying certain things about me. And that you wanted to see me…"

He wracked his processor, but could neither confirm nor deny what she was saying. For the first part of her claim, at least. He knew for certain that he'd never voiced wanting to speak to her privately.

"But when I went to talk to you about it, you brushed me off. I thought you were being cruel to me, playing with me."

Zero managed to shrug, "You were lied to. I never said anything like that to anyone—not the meeting part, I mean."

She nodded solemnly. "I thought so, that's why I felt compelled to apologize to you. That and… I understand now, why you weren't interested in me."

He sighed, exhaling slowly as his arms uncrossed and crossed again. So she knew. "So you know…"

"Yes, I talked to Alia and Axl, and now I understand," she took a deep breath, looking both amused and frustrated. "You should really tell more people though. I know you want to keep it secret, but it would save you and a lot of girls a great deal of grief if you'd just come out and admit you're dating X."

Zero froze in shocked horror, staring at the other Reploid. If he'd been able to sweat nervously like a human then he would be by now. He didn't exactly know what to say, or where to start, but one thing was for certain: Axl was going to die.

AN: A little late, but I found myself struggling with college related things. Oh, goodness, I need to stop staying up so late to edit—it's well past my bedtime, if it wasn't this AN would be longer.

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