Echo Fright

by Leon XIII

Can Richard Osmond solve the mystery of the Orpheus and find his missing father? Probably not.Parody of Echo Night.Rated M to be safe contains bad jokes,violence and poor Plot techniques.

12. Chapter 11:Abortion and Idea Theft

Echo Fright

Chapter 11:Corruption,Abortions and Idea theft

Disclaimer:I still don't own Echo Night,Legend of Spyro,Dead Space,God of War,Clock Tower,Morpheus,Overblood,or Silent Hill. I do own Layer and Teare.

Teare and Layer were in the kitchen in the mess hall,the others used the comet book to visit the Medium.

Teare:"PREGNENT!"

Layer:"I'm afraid so,according to this test I just took."

Teare:"But you can't be pregnant. I was wearing an extra strength condom!"

Layer:"I don't want to disgust the fans,but your arm isn't the only cybernetic thing you have,get me reader?"

Meanwhile...

Alyessa:"AHHHHHHHHHHHH,WHO THE HELL IS THAT?"

Isaac:"Just a creepy black alien who can see through that book."

Richard gave the Medium all of his Astral Pieces.

Medium:"It must have been difficult to collect this many."

Richard:"Brother,you have no idea."

Medium:"This will be enough."

Richard:"Good,those things took a lot of space in my vest pocket."

Medium:"Have you ever had any doubts? About why I'm collecting these?"

Richard:"I could name a couple reasons."

Medium:"Don't bother,I'll show you."

The 2 purple orbs behind him swirled in front of his face.

Medium:"It's a creation forged by the devil himself,The Red Stone!"

Richard:"Hmmm,Where have I seen that before?"

Medium:"I will bring it to you when the other red stone has perished."

He disappeared,along with his creepy background music.

Richard:"Hmph,I should have just sold those on ebay."

They left and wound up back in the mess hall. Teare was holding a Vacuum.

Teare:"Lay down,sweetie."

Layer:"Why should I?"

Teare:"I'm gonna scrape that thing off your womb!"

Layer:"ABSOLUTLY NOT!"

Teare:"I'M NOT READY TO BE A FATHER!"

Richard:"What's going on here?"

Teare hid the vacuum behind his back.

Teare:"Nothing."

Richard:"OMG! You talked!"

Teare:"Uhhh,no I didn't,you just imagined it."

Richard:"Oh,okay. Lets go to the engine room."

The team walked to the hallway,Teare and Layer were still arguing.

Richard:"I'm tired of saving my game."

Isaac:"You'll have to if you want to see all the endings."

Richard:"Fuck the Endings."

Teare:"I CAN'T BE THE FATHER!"

Layer:"YOUR THE ONE WHO GOT ME PREGNANT!"

Richard decided not to save his game and used the key on the lock beside the door.

Alyessa:"I wish Jill Valentine was here,she could just pick every lock."

Isaac:"Unlike stupid Chris Redfield,who had to find small keys."

The team crowded down this narrow stairway,there was a sign at the bottom.

Layer:"I WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN!"

Teare:"NOW I KNOW WHY I VOTED FOR OBAMA!"

Isaac:"Hey Richard,Layer's foot is in my face,what does that sign say?"

Richard:"It tells you the location of a key and valve handle,as well as the piston locks and fuel tanks. It also says if the piston locks are engaged while the fuel tanks are open,the ship will explode."

Isaac:"We better avoid that then."

Richard:"Are you kidding? I hate this damn ship! I want it to burn in hell!"

They proceeded through the next door and found themselves in a room with a busted walkway.

?:"Richard..."

Richard:"Mr. Light?"

?:"Come over here..."

Richard:"He sounds like a pervert,But if he tries anything funny,I'll blow him away with my M1014."

They went towards the voice,which was actually Richard's Dad,Henry. He was standing in front of a control panel.

Richard:"Dad! Come on,we're gonna blow this place to kingdom come!"

Henry:"I finally understand now Richard."

Richard:"Good,we'll have no problem taking this place down then."

The red stone (in it's knife casing) floated in front of him.

Henry:"Right after I killed Williams,I realized I had the greatest determination for this power all along!"

Richard:"You killed him? Hell yeah! The Osmonds Rule!"

The Knife casing around the stone shattered.

Alyessa:"OOWW,My eye!"

Henry's eyes glowed red.

Henry:"I will become one with this power..."

Richard:"Dad,your eyes look sore,have you been wearing your contacts properly?"

Henry(Witch-like voice):"The Blue stone,even it shall succumb to my power!"

Richard:"Dad,your voice sounds like Witch Hazel's."

Henry(witch-like voice):"There is no light here,you will be engulfed by darkness."

Richard:"Dad, your going crazy."

Henry(Witch-like voice):"Your the one who's crazy! I wish you died along with your mother,so I could add a Garage to my House!"

Richard:"Your house caught fire and everythings covered by ash."

Henry(Witch-like voice):"YOU DESTROYED MY HOUSE! YOU ARE A RETARDED ATISTIC MENTALLY DAMAGED SHREW!"

Richard:"Why You!"

Richard pulled out his M1014 and shot Henry who slumped against the panel.

Richard:"Oh my god! Dad,are you alright?"

Henry:"AAAAARRRRRRGGHHHHHH!"

Richard jumped back in fright.

Henry:"Ha Ha."

Richard:"You stupid motherfucker!"

Richard was about to shoot him again,but another ghost showed up. It was the ghost of Williams,holding a Knife. It threw a blue energy ball at Richard,which knocked the gun out of his hand. Richard pulled out his Beretta 92F,but it got knocked out too.

Richard:"I hate you,ghost of a deceased primary antagonist!"

Suddenly,a flash of light pierced the Ghost and it disappeared. Richard turned around,and saw that Alyessa had drawn her sacred bow.

Richard:"Why the hell didn't you do that several chapters ago?"

She shrugged.

Isaac:"Quick,use the game's primary plot device to destroy the other one!"

Richard:"The what with the what?"

Alyessa:"The Blue Stone!"

Layer:"WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE A FATHER? YOUR MY MATE!"

Teare:"I AM NOT CHANGING DIAPERS!"

Richard:"I can't, the Red stone keeps pushing me back with it's Force Repulse-like powers!"

Red Stone:"I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOU MYSELF!"

A white figure appeared before the group,it revealed itself as a man in a Parka.

Richard:"Who the fuck are you?"

Man:"I am Theodore Holmes,Protagonist of Morpheus!"

Richard:"Never played it."

Theodore:"You think anyone has played this game,beside the author? I'll tell you why,you stole our Plot and rewrote parts of it so no one would know! But I know!"

Richard:"That's why this game is so crappy!"

Theodore:"Morpheus was not crappy! It was a glorious game that brought joy to the world-"

While he was jabbering on,the team sneaked over to the next door. Richard was about to open it,until...

Voice:"This mustn't be left alone,hurry,bring light!"

Richard:"Mr. Light,your Alive!"

Theodore:"AhHa! Trying to escape are you? It's time I finished this!"

Richard:"Alyessa,Kill him!"

Alyessa aimed her sacred bow at Theodore and began charging an arrow.

Theodore:"A child's toy,this is a real weapon!"

Theodore pulled out The Blades Of Exile and swung the left one at Alyessa's Sacred Bow,which sent it flying into the air.

Theodore:"Now I summon my Minions!"

The ghosts of Raz Karcy and Milly Azray appeared beside him. They looked like zombies.

Richard:"Who are those losers?"

Raz and Milly:"."

Isaac fired a blast from his stasis module at Theodore and his homies,but it had no effect.

Isaac:"Shit! Lets run!"

They fled through the door,except Layer and Teare who were,you guessed it,still arguing.

Layer:"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WANT TO KILL MY CHILD!"

Teare:"IT'S NOT A CHILD YET! IT IS ETHICAL IN MY BOOK!"

Theodore scratched his head.

Theodore:"Never mind them,get the others!"

Raz:"uuhhhhhhnnnn"

Milly:"groannnnnnn"

In the other room,which had the pistons...

Richard:"Don't worry,it takes the ghosts 15 minutes to get to another room."

Raz and Milly passed into the room through the walls.

Richard:"Damn this stupid video game logic!"

They dashed into the next room,which had 2 fuel tanks.

Richard:"You guys go that way,I'll go this way."

Richard ran through another door to the south while Isaac and Alyessa ran through the door to the north. Raz and Milly entered the room,he pointed at her and then pointed at the other south door,while he pointed to himself and pointed to the north door. They split up.

Raz:""

Milly:""

In the other south room...

Richard almost fell over the busted walkway.

Richard:"Even in 1912 nothing gets done!"

He ducked,dodging a blast from Milly,he saw a key hanging on the wall.

Richard:"Keys? At a time like this? I hate these fucking puzzle games!"

In the North room...

Alyessa hid behind this stack of crates while Isaac ran for the door at the end of the hall. He frantically grabbed it's knob and vainly turned it as he pounded on it with his fist.

Isaac:"I wish I hadn't left my Guns in that Mine!"

Flashback..

Isaac was walking through the mine,Pulse Rifle drawn. He came to an elevator.

Isaac:"The tag says 8 people max limit. This must be like that puzzle in Silent Hill 2. I have to Leave my weapons here. I'm sure I'll come back for them later. But I'm keeping my Stasis and Kinesis Modules."

He stashed his Plasma Cutter,Pulse Rifle,Line gun,and Flamethrower in a nearby locker. He got on the elevator and took it up. When he got off he was attacked by a Slasher!

Isaac:"EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK! I have to avoid all random encounters until I retrieve my weapons!"

He ran away from it like a little girl,while it pulled a zipper down from it's back,Revealing that it's my Twin brother Parker and Little Brother,Alex standing on top of each other!

Parker:"That was Fucking hilarious!"

Alex:"Yeah,I think I just pissed myself because of it."

Parker:"Ewww,get the Fuck off me!"

end flashback...

Isaac:"I wonder if my guns are still there? I spent 80,000 credits upgrading them."

Alyessa ran over to him.

Alyessa:"Look,I found a Valve handle!"

Isaac:"Maybe Richard can use it!"

They turned around to see that Raz entered the room. He threw a blue energy blast at them,which was moving about 2 mph,so they easyily dodged it and fled through the door.

Back in the fuel room...

Richard ran into Alyessa and Isaac as they all fled from their attackers.

Richard:"Did you guys find an exit?"

Isaac:"Nah,just a valve,you?"

Richard:"Just a fucking key,I think this is another lame puzzle."

Back in the room with the red stone...

Teare:"HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO SUPPORT THAT THING!"

Layer:"HER NAME IS MAYA!"

Teare:"YOU'VE ALREADY NAMED IT?"

Layer:"THE MALE NAME IS SPARROW,THAT WAS THE FEMALE NAME!"

Teare:"SPARROW? I COULDN'T LIVE WITH A SON NAMED SPARROW!"

Layer:"I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T WANT HER TO BE BORN IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

Theodore covered his ears with his hands,as he couldn't stand their arguing any longer.

Theodore:"WHY DON'T YOU 2 JUST GET A DIVORCE? YOU HAVE THE WORST RELATIONSHIP SINCE SPYRO AND EMBER!"

Layer and Teare just stared a Theodore for a straight minute. Then they viciously attacked him. They tackled him to the ground. Teare grabbed his arm and tried to pull it off. Layer started tearing his thought out.

In the fuel room..

Isaac:"Let's hide behind these fuel tanks that have little valve ports on the front."

Alyessa:"Didn't we find a valve?"

Isaac:"Yes,we did! This must be part of the puzzle!"

Raz and Milly entered the room.

Richard:"You guys have to distract them while I use the Valve!"

Alyessa tore her clothes off,revealing her leopard skin bikini. She walked over to Raz and bent over in front of him.

Raz:"That ass is wwwaaaaaayyyyyy hotter than Milly's"

Milly slapped Raz.

Milly:"What did I tell you about flirting!"

Raz:"What do you care? Your just a clone of my original's wife!"

Milly's face was filled with rage,she screamed,and created a series of circular energy waves that emitted from her mouth. Raz was thrown to the ground by the waves. She then turned to Alyessa.

Milly:"You're dead,Slut!"

Isaac grabbed a guitar and started playing 'Never too Late' by Three days Grace(which I do not own).

Isaac:"This world will never be,what I've expected,and if there's something wrong,who would have guessed it."

Raz grabbed a Guitar and Milly grabbed the drums. They played along with the song. Richard finally used the valve on the 2 tanks.

Richard:"Alright guys,we can get out of here now!"

Isaac dropped the guitar and the trio ran back out the way they came in. Raz and Milly realized this and chased after them. They noticed the pistons were moving.

Isaac:"Maybe we can push them into the pistons and kill them!"

Alyessa:"They'd probably just go through them."

Richard:"This panel is more detailed then the rest of this machine,it's probably another piece of the puzzle!"

He opened the panel and saw a keyhole.

Richard:"This must be what this key is used for."

While Isaac and Alyessa dodged the slow moving projectiles,Richard used the key. The pistons in the room stopped working.

Richard:"Well that was real helpful!"

They ran into the next room,Richard ran for the door on the side wall.

Richard:"Dammit! It's fucking locked!"

They ran into the next room,which held the red stone. Theodore's left Leg and Right arm were detached as Layer and Teare continued to tear him up. Terrified by what they saw,they silently moved on to the next room.

The pistons in this room were also moving.

Richard:"I might as well lock this one too,since the games almost over."

He did so and the emergency lights came on.

Richard:"Sweet! The ships gonna blow! Wait,I forgot dad!"

They ran into the previous room. Raz,Milly and Theodore,whom Layer and Teare were still eating,disintegrated and their remains were absorbed into the red stone,who's energy field dissipated.

Theodore:"You'll pay for this Osmond!"

Richard:"Aww,shut up!"

In his anger,Richard threw the Blue stone at the Red one. It entered the Red stone's form and it's shell broke.

Isaac:"OOOWWWW,My Eye!"

Layer:"Your wearing a fucking helmet,how could it scratch your eye?"

Richard:"NO! Now it's value has gone down!"

Both stones shrank into thin lines and disappeared. Henry woke up.

Henry:"The power to change destiny...Gone...Forever."

Isaac:"Damn,I was hoping to use it to bring back Nicole!"

Henry:"This place won't last long...Run to the front of the ship..."

He passed out.

Richard:"OH MY GOD,HE'S HAVING A HEART ATTACK!"

Richard tried to perform CPR on him. Then he got back up.

Richard:"Wait,if hes dead,I get all his stuff! Sweet!"

Layer:"Richard,according to that timer that has appeared in the upper-right corner of your HUD,we have only 99 seconds to get out of here."

Richard:"I wonder how much his house is worth?"

Layer:"WILL YOU GET YOUR FUCKING ASS IN GEAR!"

Richard:"Sorry."

The team started heading north.

Teare:"Layer,in case we don't get through this,I just want to say,you're sexy."

Layer:"Awwwww,you're sexy too sweetheart."

Richard:"Alyessa,I'm gonna picture you when I masturbate."

Isaac:"This was the most fun I've had since Dead Space."

Alyessa:"I love this bikini,It goes with my hair."

They reached the room where Alyessa found the Valve handle.

?:"I've come as I have promised."

Richard:"Mr .Light?"

Layer:"Will you drop it with the Light joke?"

?:"Come..into the sun..."

Richard:"What the hell does that mean? It can't be this sun insignia on the wall."

?:"Actually,it is."

Richard:"Oh,okay."

He touched it and it revealed a secret passage. They crammed in and met The Medium.

Medium:"I told you I would return."

He procured another red stone in front of him.

Medium:"Behold,the power to change destiny is at your disposal,take it with you."

Richard:"My dad told me never to take candy from strangers."

Medium:"You don't need this? Strange,you are a very strange man."

The stone shattered,this time it hit Richard in the eye.

Richard:"OOOWWWW,YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"

Richard blew the Medium's face off with his newly acquired Olympia Shotgun and they left. The ghost of crea stood outside the exit door.

Richard:"Another ghost? I thought I freed them all."

Crea:"Quickly,in here."

They went inside the next room. It pulsed blue.

Crea:"This ship will disappear soon."

Richard:"Good,I'm tired of it."

Crea:"Your not supposed to be here."

Richard:"It took you the entire game to figure THAT out?"

She created a small blue sphere.

Crea:"Go home now ,it's all over."

The Sphere encircled the group.

Alyessa:"Good,I have yoga class in a few minutes."

They teleported outside the ship,and they watched as it rose to heaven.

Richard:"It's a damn shame that's where we won't be going."

Isaac:"So,which ending did we get?"

Alyessa:"We'll see in a few sentences."

Everything whited out.

A few days later...

Richard walked in his house,which was decked out as a result of selling his dad's stuff. He had a Plasma Screen TV with Xbox 360,A push button phone,Gold Leather couch,glass table,Disco ball,Pool table and A Bar. He was wearing a slick black pimp coat and hat. He walked over to his pool table,where Crea's Music box sat.

Richard:"How did that get there?"

He opened it and read the message.

Message:"I never lost hope that one day this curse would come to an end. At times I still wonder about the Red stone's significance,the ability to toy with fate,was all our pain and suffering caused by fate? Please,when you look on this box,Reminiscence. Reminiscence to read the reviews before playing a game,otherwise,you could waste several hours of your life,just like Leon XIII."

Richard saw some flashbacks,his dad Giving the stone to Crea,Crea getting shot in the back,Crea pointing her gun at the Assassin,The assassin using Crea as a Human shield,then Crea's ghost. Then he saw some of Crea's photographs,the Blue Stone and Crea's Signature.

Richard:"No one will want to buy this."

He tossed the Music Box out the window,and landed in the back of a Garbage truck,which crushed it.

The End.

A/N:"This isn't all,sometime I'll upload an extras chapter which contains alternate Endings,Deleted scenes and possibly other crap. Thanks for reading so far,please review.

SUPREMACISTS SUCK!"