A/N: Ok, so I'm terrible. I really am trying I'm just at a point right now where I need to write chapters that connect ideas and I'm struggling a bit. I don't want to post bad chapters, but I also want to update. This chapter is a bit of a compromise. Not as good as I'd like and a bit rushed, but it speeds along to process of connecting ideas so hopefully it will advance this story along a bit. I'm sorry if it gives you some whiplash with the time jumps, but I've only got a few more things I want to happen at Hogwarts before we head out into the real world and I've run out of filler to connect those things.

Chapter 24

I stared at her in silence for a full minute, trying to figure out what to say. She got into the program in France, her dream school. I remembered hearing her talk about it in that far away voice, resigned to the fact that she'd never actually get in. It was the way she used to talk about James before they got together. Both of those things were now a reality, but the prospect of them seemed to terrify her when it should make her ecstatic.

"Em, that's great! Why don't you look happy?"

Her eyes wandered the room, as though searching for some physical object to explain for her. "James," she finally settled on.

"He'll understand," I told her, reaching out to cover her hand with mine. "He loves you, and he wants you to be happy."

A tear trickled from her eye and she reached up to swipe it away, still avoiding my eyes. "We nearly broke up when I was just thinking of going for an interview. What's he going to say when I tell him I got in? It would just be easier to go here. I don't want to lose him."

I fixed her with the sternest look I could manage. "You won't. Remember what Al said the first time you considered giving this up? You can't give up your dream for James. You'll only end up resenting him for it in the long run. Just make sure you tell him first this time, yeah?"

Probably not the smartest idea to bring up Al, but his words held truth. She couldn't give up her dream school just because she wanted to stay closer to James. She knew that, too; she just needed a little reminder every now and then. Emily had never been good at break ups, and now that she'd gotten in so deep with James I knew she was doubly terrified of losing him. She couldn't let that fear define her, though. If she did, she'd regret it.

She gave me a weak smile. "You don't count yourself in that?"

"Of course not, and James won't either. I'm thinking that as long as you tell him instead of Al this time he won't be so angry."

Her smile grew. "You may have a point there."

"You'll never know how he's really going to react until you talk to him, so go talk to him," I urged.

She agreed, and after a few more minutes she left with a true smile on her face. For her sake, I really hoped that James took this new development well. Long distance wasn't ideal, but if they really wanted to be together it would work out. I had to believe that, both of their relationship and mine. While Scorpius and I were thus far both remaining in London, plans could often go awry. Albus's Quidditch offers were proof of that. What would happen to Scorpius if Al took one of the offers? As far as I knew they were still planning to live together, but if Al was out of the country…

I needed to just stop worrying about this so much. Sitting here and thinking of all the possibilities wasn't going to solve anything. I just needed to focus on my studies and exams.

My letter from St. Mungo's came on a Tuesday. It dropped in front of my plate as I was spooning porridge into my mouth, causing the spoon to stop halfway there. Without finishing my breakfast, I plucked the letter from the table and held it in front of me for the rest of the meal. I couldn't bring myself to open it, instead allowing it to burn a figurative hole in my bag all day. I knew it was there, but I couldn't deal with knowing for sure whether my grades were good enough or whether I was kidding myself thinking I could do this.

Finally, sitting in the dormitory with Scorpius at the end of the day, I summoned the courage to open the envelope. He sat stoically beside me, offering silent support as I unfolded the letter. The situation was familiar to the first letter he received, though our positions were reversed then. It seemed the outcome would be reversed as well, as my eyes skimmed the content quickly before the smile broke out on my face.

"I got it!" I exclaimed, flinging my arms around his neck and planting my lips on his in my excitement. I tried to contain myself for his sake after that, tucking the letter away and turning back to quizzing him on Potions. Try as I might, though, I couldn't quite ignore the faint change in his demeanor. I didn't want to believe he wanted me to fail, but perhaps he was starting to feel the anxiety of his rejections now that Al, Emily, and I were receiving positive news.

Lying in bed hours later, I replayed the moment in my head. I had one acceptance for sure in London. I was guaranteed at least training in Alchemy after graduation, so I could stop worrying about it so much. My future wasn't assured, but it was a good start. I still didn't have a concrete plan, but I was getting better at being alright with that. Scorpius had helped me see that having a plan wasn't necessarily all it was cracked up to be, but it was still nice.

The following weeks brought another acceptance letter from the Ministry for me, and three more rejections for Scorpius. As they kept coming, he continued to grow increasingly moody. I couldn't really blame him, but it was starting to worry me. Whenever I tried to draw him out into a conversation, he only gave minimal answers, rarely looking up from whatever book he was reading at the time. I took to avoiding any reference to life after Hogwarts, as it only made it worse. It was a strange role reversal, to say the least. Before, I had been the one to avoid even thinking about life after graduation because I was so afraid of what failure would mean.

Back then, of course, it was about the failure to live up to expectations. Now, the possibility of failing to succeed outside of the expectations thrust upon me only drove me to try harder. I had to get this right. I refused to be the cautionary tale at family dinners. No one would start a story with "remember when Rose tried Alchemy?"

Scorpius, however, seemed to be regressing from his earlier stance. I could see him losing faith that he could succeed outside of Hogwarts, but couldn't for the life of me figure out how to help him get it back. The only way I could think to bring him out of his rapidly increasing depression was for an acceptance letter to come his way, but I didn't have the power to do that… did I?

"Rose, that is a bad idea on so many levels," Emily told me flatly when I broached the subject with her. I'd been considering the options for the past few days and was toying with one in particular, but I needed a second opinion.

"Why? It wouldn't be cheating or anything…" I hedged.

She fixed me with a look. "You'd be asking your mother to call in a favour to get him a job. He'd never forgive you."

I sighed in frustration. "I just want to help, Em."

"I know you do," she replied softly, reaching out to squeeze my arm, "but you need to let him get this on his own. If he doesn't, he'll never believe he's capable of it and it will do more harm than good."

Taking a deep breath, I nodded in resignation. "You're right. I just want to help. I can't stand doing nothing."

Her smile was sympathetic. "I know." She paused, and then withdrew her hand. "If you want to help, figure out a way I can tell James about France without blowing my relationship to Hell and back."

At this, I dropped my quill. "You still haven't told him? Emily! It's been two weeks!"

She winces as she studies her own parchment. "I know, I know. I just… Every time I try to tell him I back out. I'm a coward, Rose."

I sighed, the anger leaving me all at once. She was scared, just like the rest of us. Everyone had something. Al was scared of changing course, Scorpius was afraid of failing before he even started and I… well, I was scared of proving everyone right. I wouldn't allow my father's reservations to come true. Emily was just the same as us, afraid of the future. The only difference was that she feared the possibility of losing her present in pursuit of it. None of us were really in danger of losing what we had now in exchange for the future we wanted.

We were interrupted from any further discussion by Al's rather large form dropping into the seat next to me. It startled me at first. This was the first time he'd willingly approached me when I was alone with Emily in a long while. I could tell Em was realizing this, too, and watched as her eyes snapped to my cousin, taking him in with a small flicker of hope in her eyes. She was still confused as to why he'd been avoiding her and acting strangely, so it was reasonable to assume she was hoping this was a sign he was getting over whatever it was. I tried to control my facial expression, as I was sure it would have contorted into some unflattering expression that would draw unwanted attention and questions.

I tuned back in to the small talk unfolding before me. It wasn't awkward exactly, but I could tell they were trying to assess each other. There was a faint hint of hesitancy around the edges of their tones that made me feel like I was intruding, but I wasn't sure if leaving was the best idea. Al pulled away for a reason; was it wise to leave him to dig himself back in this hole?

"I was at the library," Al answered the question I hadn't heard.

"With Carrie?' I piped up before I could stop myself.

"Yes," he answered, irritation very clear in his voice. If looks could kill…

"Who's Carrie?" Emily questioned, looking between the two of us. I knew she'd picked up on the silent tension my question brought with it, and was already regretting opening my big mouth. Why did I have to get involved? If it wasn't trying to get Scorpius a job or interfering in Emily's love life, it was interfering in Al's.

"She's… a friend," Al told her. His tone was too careful, though, and by the slight narrowing of her eyes, Emily caught it.

"A friend, huh?" She asked, lifting her eyebrows suggestively. I couldn't be sure, but I thought the teasing edge to her voice was a bit forced.

Later in the week, nothing had changed. Scorpius had received yet another rejection and as a result his mood had hit an all new low, Emily was still warring with how to tell James about France, and even Dom had joined the angst-fest that had become my life, except the source of her mood was still a mystery. She wasn't talking, no matter how hard I tried.

It was weird, being the only one in our group that had a positive outlook on the future, especially since the year had started out the very opposite way. I felt compelled to fix this. They spent the better part of the first term trying to fix me, so I owed it to them to at least try to make them remember why they were so excited and optimistic in September. From the looks of it, though, I had a long road ahead of me.

Or maybe not so long. I jumped as a bouquet of carnations transfigured to a perfect blend of orange and yellow appeared under my nose while I was sitting on the dormitory couch. My eyes sought the source of the flowers, and I saw Scorpius standing above me, an apologetic look on his face. My brow furrowed as I took the flowers from him and he sat beside me.

"I owe you an apology," he told me, ducking his head briefly before meeting my eyes. "I've been… wrapped up in myself and I've been letting it get in the way of us. I shouldn't be taking it out on you or pulling away like I have been, and I'm sorry."

I felt the smile pulling at my lips as he finished and didn't fight it. "It's… I understand, Scorpius. I just wish I could help you. That's what this is supposed to be. We're supposed to be able to help each other when things get hard."

"It's not your fault, Rose. I pushed you away when I should have let you be there. That's on me."

I tilted my head at him, studying the expression of complete openness on his face. It had been a long while since I'd seen it.

"What?" He asked, uncertain.

I shook my head. "Nothing. I just missed you."

He gave me a lopsided grin before leaning in to press his lips to mine. "I missed you, too."

We lay on the couch, limbs intertwined, for the rest of the night. I didn't feel guilty about the abandoned homework on the table before us even once.

"You should write your father," he murmured into my hair, fingers stroking through it lightly.

I stiffened. "What?"

"I've noticed the pile of letters you've been collecting over the weeks. You should write back."

I let his words settle over us for a minute before I shrugged. "I'm not sure I'm ready."

"Have you looked at any of the letters?"

I nodded. "They all say the same thing."

"Well, it's up to you, but he's obviously sorry." His fingers trailed lightly up and down my arm.

Sighing, I turned further into his chest. "I don't know. Maybe I'll write back next week. I just don't know what to say."

I felt his nod against the top of my head as I played with the fabric of his shirt.

"Did you ever decide what to do about Lucius?" I asked suddenly.

It's his turn to stiffen. "No. My father asked about it but I dodged him."

"Why?"

"I don't… I don't want him to… I'm afraid of what he might say."

I understood his reluctance; I felt the same way when wondering what to tell my parents about Alchemy. I was afraid of what they'd say, and they'd surprised me. They hadn't surprised me where my relationship announcement was concerned, or at least my father hadn't, but still. It wasn't the same circumstances, but I got it. The fear that your father would disapprove of your choices was all-consuming. Add to that the fact that the issue at hand was his grandfather, who was… well, he was Lucius Malfoy, and things got a lot more complicated.

I let my fingers trail soothingly over his chest for a second. "It'll all sort itself out."

"I hope you're right," he sighed.

I tilted my head up to look at him, grinning cheekily. "I am."

Graduation was approaching far too rapidly when Scorpius came into our dormitory, holding a letter and frowning. He said nothing, just sat beside me on the couch and continued to stare at the parchment.

"What's that?' I finally prodded, looking up from my book.

He shrugged, turning it over in his hands. "Something from Wright and Parkinson…" He mumbled, before elaborating at my blank look. "They're a firm based out of Knockturn Alley."

I frowned. "You applied there?"

He shook his head slowly, coming to a decision and slitting the letter open. "I didn't apply, but they… the firm is interested in taking me on."

I took a second to process the words before a smile lit up my face. "Seriously? That's great!"

"No…" He finally mumbled, confusing me. "No it's not."

"What are you talking about? A firm wants to hire you. They pursued you. How is that not great?"

He looked up at me, his eyes a storm of sadness and resignation. "Pansy Parkinson was friends with my father back in their Hogwarts days; she isn't the sort of person you work for if you want to get a decent reputation."

"It's only for the summer, though, right?" I asked, closing the book altogether and setting it on the table.

He nodded. "It is, but an internship with a firm like Wright and Parkinson… It won't look good, Rose. It's exactly the kind of firm people would expect a Malfoy to get involved with. If I were to do this, there would be no going back. I don't want this kind of life." He stopped to inhale deeply, searching for the words. "When I said I wanted to defend criminals, I didn't mean career criminals. Wright and Parkinson deal exclusively with that sort, and I want no part of it. I want to give a voice to those who can't speak for themselves, but not like this. I won't skirt the law to enable crime to continue. I just want to give everyone their best chance."

I studied him for a minute once he stopped talking. He looked… passionate, enthralled, and determined. It was contagious. I tried to imagine compromising my morals for a chance at a life after graduation, and found I couldn't do it. Despite all of the rejection, Scorpius wouldn't give up on his conviction for the chance at a future, however bleak that future might be. I admired that.

"So you don't take it," I told him, reaching out to squeeze his hand. "You don't settle for anything less than you want and deserve. Don't compromise your beliefs."

"Even if this is the only shot I get?" He challenged, still staring at the letter.

"This won't be the only shot you get," I told him firmly, taking it from his hands. I wouldn't let him regret this, and the only way he would do that is if he accepted it. "We'll figure it out."

That night, after Scorpius had gone to bed, I sat at my desk and composed the letter I'd wanted to for a while. It wasn't addressed to my father, though.

Mom,

I'm writing because I need your help…

A/N: Ok, so this was much shorter than I wanted it to be, but this was part of my compromise with myself. So, what do you think? Is Rose asking her mother to get Scorpius a job? Should she do that?