Authors Note- I know, it's been a little while. If life wasn't kicking me in the ass this wouldn't happen.

Disclaimer- S. Meyer owns all things Twilight.

Tuesday

September 9th

BPOV

I couldn't fully explain to anybody how it felt to have miscarried a child. All I could say, was that everything felt empty for a long while. It felt weird not having my little baby inside of me, something just didn't feel right. My body had become used to the extra weight, it stretching to fit something so special.

Something special that was tragically taken away from me, because of all the stress I let get to my head, get to affecting me physically. And no matter what, or who would tell me otherwise, it was just something I couldn't shake.

I know that it's not my fault, and Edward constantly tells me enough that I finally know now. He is right, because it was everything around me. I just wished that I had never let it affect me like I let it. Because in the end it only caused two broken hearts, and two people longing to know what could have been.

Edward was great, infact, he was too great to the point of annoying me. But I know he is only trying to help, and what I had said to him didn't make matters better. He'd always been my confidant, since we were little kids and that would never change. He is my best friend and much more than that. He is everything to me.

In some messed up way, we were basically back in the order of our relationship. Both of us had said from the beginning that we had wanted to wait until marriage to have a baby, which almost depressed me at this point. Maybe it was somewhere in the sky that someone didn't want us to have a baby, that it just wasn't time. We were one of the unlucky ones.

After I started to heal, life just kind of started to move on. School started up again, and I started working and getting used to my life living with Edward, and getting used to life before a baby.

Time goes by. Even for us.

It's already September, and Alice and Jasper have already started planning their summer wedding, and are very ecstatic for it to be here. She's been calling me non-stop about colors, flowers, venue's and everything imaginable. On Christmas break I promised her that we would fly down to Chicago because she wanted me to be there for her wedding dress shopping.

Rosalie was her maid of honor, and she chose me to be a bridesmaid.

Of course, I didn't say much about it, originally she said she wanted to pick me, but I told her to go with what she wanted, and apparently that was Rosalie. It hurt a little bit, considering I was the one who was there when Rosalie was treating her wrong, and spent hours on the phone letting her get everything out. But I said nothing.

Edward was a groomsman, as was Emmett and her father was the best man, and also of course walking her down the aisle to her perfect wedding. Somehow, I felt like everyone around me was moving on, and Edward and I were the same, because of everything that happened we were set back a little bit. I think we'd had sex once since all of this, but it was weird for me.

With a long sigh, I dropped my book bag on the floor, Edward had a plate of re-heated pasta on the end table by the couch, homework piled all around him. When he noticed me, a breathtaking smile came over his face and he sprung up, walking towards me. His arms wrapped around my waist.

" I missed you." he whispered, nuzzling my neck.

I smiled, " Missed you, too."

He tipped my chin up and chastely kissed my lips. I leaned into him, licking his bottom lip and feeling his lips part to mingle his tongue with mine. He sighed quietly into my mouth, becoming enthusiastic and kissing me more passionately.

Edward backed me up against the wall, his hands moving underneath my shirt. I tensed up.

Now, I wasn't calling myself fat, but I still had about an extra fifteen pounds, my stomach was a little bit jiggle-ish, and just the little bit bothered me. I'd been running alot at the gym, trying to get it off so I could have the completely flat belly that I used to. I've taken a few showers with him, but this feels different.

I pulled away from Edward, pushing my shirt down.

" What's wrong?"

" I just...don't feel comfortable."

" Why?"

" Because, I've been trying to work off all the...excess from the baby."

" Your telling me that just because you have like ten pounds more on your stomach and it's not as perfetly right as it used to be, now you don't feel comfortable with me touching you? Bella, we shower together."

I sighed. " I don't expect you to understand."

" Bella, you are beautiful to me."

" Please, don't..."

He brought me back to him, kissing my forehead. " I love you, you can tell me when you're comfortable. I'm always here, always."

I slipped my arms around his neck, and held onto him tightly.

" How was class?" I asked as he set me down.

" Good, homework is terrible. But what's new. How about you, love?"

" Good, tiring."

Edward sat back down on the couch, pulling me to his side. I slinked next to him, smiling and laying with my head on his shoulder. As my eyes shut, I felt his hand massaging my hip, his long fingers working down to my thighs. I moved my legs, draping them over his lap as he moved over my knee to my calf.

" I need to do my homework." I said quietly.

" Do you want something to eat?" he asked.

" Not right now, later. I stopped at Panera at around three thirty and had a sandwich and soup, so I am still a little full."

" Okay, beloved."

I lugged my bag over to the couch, slumping down next to Edward. He twirled some pasta onto his fork and took a large bite.

" Alice called my cell phone like...five times. Is your phone on?" Edward asked.

" Ugh, no. I'm sorry it ran out of battery during class. She's been calling every hour, I swear."

He chuckled, " Yeah, she was rambling something about Lillies and Daisies."

" Yeah, she's all for summer. Basically they are going with light yellows, white, blue."

Edward nodded, " Yeah, I think Jasper was talking colored vests yesterday. I told him that I was not wearing some crazy colored tie. Apparently Alice wants him with a bow tie, and then us Emmett, her dad and I wearing ties to be different."

" That's Alice." I said, rifling through my binder,

We were doing our homework for a good two hours, and we finished around ten. Our work schedules now were completely similar, Edward was actually able to pick his hours, and we made our basically the same. Instead of having Friday and Saturday off for me, I had the entire weekend off, and worked from three to seven on weekdays, and Edward worked from three fifteen to seven. We see eachother briefly, when he walks in the house to get ready after class, I am leaving. Although next semester I will have a seven thirty class on Wednesdays, which sucks, but I have to do what I have to do.

Edward pulled me into the shower with him, and we fooled around a bit, which ended us on the floor about twenty minutes into the shower, laughing obnoxiously. He wrapped me up in a towel, kissing my forehead. I grabbed onto his shoulders as he lifted me up, giggling into his neck. He let out a playful growl, tackling me onto our bed.

" You're getting our bed wet you nutter!" I exclaimed as he kissed down my neck.

" Mmm, I don't care. Your skin taste delicious."

" Edward." I sighed, running my fingers through his hair.

" I love you, Izzy B." he whispered, kissing my nose and pulling away.

" Oh, I haven't heard that nickname in a damn long time." I said, smiling.

He cocked his head to the side.

" I love you, too, love."

Edward dabbed his towel through my hair, dampening it a bit and ruffled his own crazy hair. When I felt his hand on my stomach, I jumped.

" You've always been beautiful to me, no matter what. I just want you to know that, okay?"

I nodded, leaning forward to kiss his lips. His fingers tangled in my hair, and I could feel us getting a little carried away. His towel barely covered him, and his body shifted over mine as he hoovered over me. His arms wrapped tightly around my waist, and I gripped his biceps.

His tongue explored my mouth, and I could feel him move to the side, cradling me against him. I laid against his side, molding my body to his. Edward's hand travelled up my back, resting on the back of my neck. Our legs tangled together, and torso's pressed tightly together.

I felt his hands wander over my back, moving the towel down to massage my back as he kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, keeping my lips against his. He let out a small growl against my lips before pulling away.

" Mmm, you are gorgeous." he whispered.

I smiled and pulled away from him, holding the towel against me. With a long sigh, I sat up, running my hand through my almost dry hair. I put on a pair of cotton underwear, and a pair of shorts. I tossed Edward a pair of boxers and grabbed one of his t-shirts.

I jumped onto the bed, and Edward tackled me down playfully as I kneeled, laughing into my mouth as he kissed me.

" I love you, so much."

I'd missed this playful side of us, the little spark of almost child-like acting. He hugged my waist, resting his head on my chest and gently rubbing my side.

" Wanna watch a movie or something?"

" Mmm, sure."

I launched out of bed. " What are we watching?"

" Ameri-"

" Edward." I whined. " I am not watching American Pie 2."

" But my Birthday is in...hm? Four days?"

" And so is mine, so please!"

" Bellaaaa." he hummed.

I groaned, " Okay, fine!"

Quickly I hopped down the stairs and grabbed the movie from the shelf. I could just sit through a damn movie with Edward, it was just a movie.

" Oh my god, what idiot get's his hand stuck to his di-"

" Edward. I know, you've said it ten times." I said with a laugh.

He kissed my head, and I could feel his smile.

I twisted the blankets with my fingers and Edward drew me towards his chest. I leaned into him, sighing against his neck. His hand ran down my thigh to the back of my knee, hooking my knee over his thigh.

His lips found mine, gently pressing. I rubbed his jaw, licking his smooth bottom lip gently. Edward ran his hands over my back before he pulled away from me, resting his forehead against mine.

" You're my life, you know that?" I whispered quietly to him.

" I do, and you're my life, my Bella."

Edward's hand found the remote and he switched the television off, along with the DVD player. He laid with me, holding me closely; threading his hands into my hair and kissing my neck. He paused for a moment, breathing deeply and unevenly.

I ran my fingers through his hair. " Hey, what's wrong?"

" I don't want us to loose anything else."

He looked up at me, looking deep into my eyes.

" We won't, Edward. I promise."

" How do you know?"

" Because...Besides our family and friends, we have nothing to lose."

" I'm such a girl."

" No, you're not. We've been through so much. I don't...I don't want you to worry that we're going to lose eachother, or something else. We will be okay, I promise you, Edward. Just wait for it."

He wrapped his arms tighter around me, kissing my jaw before gently biting. I laughed, his teeth almost tickling my skin.

" What'd you get me for my Birthday?" he asked.

" Nope, not telling you."

" You've not set out a clue, love."

" That's because I hid it so well. I've been working on it for awhile now."

" Hmm, homemade? I like it already. A collage of your beautiful face? No?.. I have no fucking clue...A new watch?

" No! I am much more creative this time around."

" You better not make my gift look like shit."

I smiled, " Of course not, love. What did you get me?"

" Nice try. Not telling a soul."

In a flash I was sitting in his lap, resting my hands on his bare chest. I leaned forward, the tips of my hair gently grazing his chest. He stared up at me, seeing the playful twinkle back in my eyes. His hands rested on my hips, steadying me on his lap.

" You don't want to tell me?" I whispered.

" Nope."

I narrowed my eyes. " Not even if I told you that I really love you?"

" Nah."

" Mmm, you think you're hot stuff don't you?"

" I'm a british god. Listen to my beautiful voice."

I slapped his chest gently. " Oh, please."

" You know it, why else would you have had a crush on me since you were like, what, thirteen? Because I was even sexy then. Just admit it."

" Never. I loved you because of you."

" Because I'm just so damn sexy. Come on, just admit it. Just do it."

I shook my head. " No!"

He pinched my side, " Always the stubborn one weren't we."

I yelped, shoving away from him. " Stop!"

Edward pressed me into the mattress, straddling my lap. His hands went for my sides, poking, grabbing and tickling. He basically had all his weight on me, so I couldn't do anything accept slap at him and scream.

" EDWARD! STOP!"

" Beg."

" NO!"

His hands dug into my ribs, and I screamed. Jackass knew that fucking tickled!

" Fine, fine. Please, Edward. Come on, stop, stop!"

" Now tell me I am sexy."

" Oh my god! No!"

" Tell me, Isabella."

" Okay, fine! You're sexy, you are so sexy Edward. STOP!"

Edward stopped and I pushed up, knocking him off me and dumping him right onto the floor. I covered my mouth with my hand, laughing as I peeked over the bed. He was glaring at me and I laid back on the bed. Slowly he stood up, grabbing the blankets off me and grabbing my ankles, dragging me towards him before grabbing onto me. I kissed his lips

" I'm sorry." I said, trying my hardest not to laugh.

" No you're not."

" What are you going to do with me?" I asked, wrapping my legs around his waist.

" Mmm, nothing. But you should still be scared. So, I am sexy, huh?"

" I only said it so you would stop."

" You're so mean."

September 13th

Saturday

" Haaapppyy Birthday deaarrr Bellaaaaaa. Haaapppyyy Birthday tooooo yoouuuuu."

" That was so off tune, shut up."

" Happy Birthday, beloved. You are no longer a teenager, how does it feel?"

" The same as yesterday."

He chuckled, " I love you, Happy Birthday." he whispered, laying next to me.

I wrapped my arm around his waist, snuggling into his side. " I love you, too. Happy Birthday."

" I got you a cake."

" I am making your cake."

" We suck at secrets."

I smiled, " Well, we are going to be here anyways. When you live here nothing is secret. Where are you taking me to dinner?"

" Where are you taking me to dinner?" He retorted.

" No, doesn't work like that. You take me out because I am the lady. And you are older."

" Twenty minutes isn't a big difference."

" Don't even go there! When we were kids that was always your excuse for everything!"

" Okay, okay. Can I open my gift?"

" Well, later on you can get your gift after dinner. But I do have another one for you. Come on."

Of course, later on when he was asleep I snuck downstairs to put his gift on the kitchen counter, and I noticed his also with it, there were actually two, and I knew that the one in the small box was some kind of jewelery, he always did that, and a small envelope with my name on it.

We walked downstairs, and Edward was almost bouncing with excitement. Yes, a twenty year old grown man excited about his Birthday to such an extent. He took my hand, walking me towards the island. I firstly handed him a small envelope.

" Now this is your choice, okay?"

He looked at me skeptically before opening it up. Once he opened up the envelope he took out the folded sketch paper and opened it up. A smile spread across his face and he set it down on the counter.

The sketch was of a tribal star, but with vines all around it, and I was planning on having it tattoo'd on as an arm band or something, hoping that Edward would be cool with this.

" I made appointments at a place, just so we could have it done today. But if you don't like it...I planned it to be like a wristband, or arm band mostly."

" Of course, Bella it's an absolutely beautiful sketch. I love everything you draw and paint."

He leaned forward and kissed my cheek, handing me his smaller gift. I took off the wrapping paper and saw the signiture Tiffany box. I looked up at him, groaning.

" Ed-"

" Shhh, open it."

I opened up the little box and nestled inside was a pair of the most beautiful heart drop earrings with paved diamonds in the heart. They didn't drop too low, but they were just beautiful.

" How did you afford these?"

" I can make payments, beloved."

" They are beautiful, Edward. Truly, beautiful. Thank you so much."

" Of course, now here."

I handed Edward his bigger gifts, and ones attached to it. It was almost tradition for me to buy him the newest gaming consoles. I knew that he loved his little toys and stuff, and that they made him happy. So this year was the grand PS3, they have been popular most recently. And I also had a small canvas painting that I had painted for him.

I couldn't express how many years Edward wanted me to paint something for him, and it was basically alot of abstract nature things that I did, and I twisted it up and did something for Edward, to which he opened and loved.

" Finally! Christ women I have been waiting for years!"

I smiled, opening up his envelope. There was a printed out sheet of an order.

" What is this?"

" Well. This is from my parents and me also. I am not that rich, but we ordered you a baby grand piano for the apartment!"

...

" Oh my god? What? Edward, seriously?"

" Yes. I mean, I know we won't be here forever. But...I know you love playing, and you miss it so much Bella I can tell."

" You didn't have to buy me one, Edward."

" I honestly did. So just thank me."

" Thank you, Edward. So much."

I launched myself into his arms, hugging him fiercely. He kissed my temple, rocking us back and forth. Once we pulled away I decided to make breakfast for us, ignoring his non-stop begging as to what his other gift was.

I made us cinnamon sugar pancakes, bacon and scrambled eggs. Once we finished eating we hopped into the shower and got ready for the day, our appointments at NY Ink was at one.

After a long leisurely shower we dressed, and I put on simple clothing. Skinny jeans and a Muse t-shirt, just as I pulled it over my head, after doing my hair and makeup, Edward came into the room.

" Wait! I almost forgot, take that off."

I looked at him warily, but tossed my shirt off anyways. He gave me a seductive look as I stood in my bra and jeans, and then tossed me a t-shirt. It was black and I opened it up. Stamped in blue letters said, ' This is what awesome looks like'. I laughed, throwing the shirt over my head. Slightly loose, but I liked it. He walked over to me, kissing my lips.

" Thank you, it's awesome." I said, laughing.

After putting on my converse, we headed downstairs and Edward grabbed his keys, I grabbed the sketch from the counter, grabbing my jacket on the way out. I hopped into the car, and Edward started it up.

I gave him directions and we ended up downtown infront of a very fancy looking tattoo shop. Edward quirked an eyebrow at me, and I

We hopped out of the car and went into the tattoo shop, it was very light and open, surprising for such a place. I was really excited, and I could tell Edward was to as he squeezed my hand and smiled at me. I walked up to the counter, seeing a dark haired girl with sleeves of tattoo's, and star designs going all up her neck.

" Hi, I have two appointments this afternoon. One with Katherine for Bella Swan and Dan for Edward Cullen, both at one."

" Of course. Give me a sec." she said, walking away from the desk and to a back room.

I leaned into Edward and saw the receptionist return, with two people in her wake. The women had bright blue hair that was twisted up into a messy bun, she had on a pair of skinny jeans and a loose tanktop with a pair of heels. The man next to her had on skinny jeans, a Guns 'N Roses t-shirt on and vans. They both were covered in tattoo's, arms, neck, hands and I could see small tattoo's on her foot.

" Hi, you must be Bella, and you are Edward." Katherine said, shaking our hands.

" Hello, I talked to you on the phone about two weeks ago, I already have the sketch and everything here for you as I said.

She nodded. " Right, right. Well, let me see. We can both draw up identical, if that's what you want."

" Yeah, that would be great. Any way I could maybe incorporate an initial, just a letter in the middle where the star is." Edward piped up.

I looked at him skeptically.

They both looked over the sketch. " Yeah, that could work. What would you want?"

" Just a 'B', right in the middle of the star."

Quickly I glanced up at Edward, wondering if he was just fooling around, but he looked completely serious.

" And an 'E' in the same spot for mine."

Katherine smiled, " You both married or something?"

" We've known eachother since birth, started dating a little over a year now."

She nodded, " Okay, we'll just sketch this up. You can just take a seat, make yourselves at home."

We nodded and sat down on a plush couch pushed in the corner. Edward wrapped his arm around me tightly, almost pushing me into his lap. I rested my head on his shoulder, feeling his hand rub back and forth on my thigh.

" So, what's with the sudden initial?" I asked

" I want you to be a part of me no matter what, I mean, we already have matching tattoo's on the back. You didn't have to do the same."

" I wanted to though. You mean alot to me, and I thought if you were doing it, why the hell not."

Edward chuckled and kissed the side of my neck.

Once the sketchs were both done, they showed us the same identical ones and it looked absolutely perfect, almost better than I ever thought they could possibly re-create. We sat down in a chair and I told them the placement. Once they did the placements and we confirmed it was good, they got started.

" So, I presume you are both not from United States?"

" No, we were raised and spent most of our childhood in London, England."

" Oh, that must have been interesting, when did you move to America?"

" When we were what? Fourteen? It was the summer before Freshmen year, we are sophmores in college."

Dan nodded, " That's cool. So, how did you get the idea for this sketch?"

" I dabble alot in painting and drawing, and one day I just kind of started drawing this tribal star, and I just started playing around with it."

" It's a really good sketch, not really seen anything like it."

I felt the needle hit my skin, the familar feeling not as uncomfortable as the first time. We talked freely with the tattoo artists, listening to their own stories about their tattoo's, it didn't take very long for ours to be done, and I was extemely excited when we were finished and stood to look at them. We didn't go with color like we did with our other one, this one just looked almost crisp and very classic almost.

Edward and I stood, looking at our tattoo's in the mirror. I'd gotten mine around my wrist, so the mirror wasn't totally necessary, and I got it on my left hand. Edward got his around his bicep on his left arm, and it looked really awesome.

" Wow." Edward said.

" That looks awesome." I said.

They wrapped our arms up and I paid for both of them, ignoring Edward when he tried to slid a few bills over the counter. This was my gift to him, and that's how it was going to be. When we got outside he wrapped his arms around me, kissing my lips gently.

" Ready for the rest of our Birthday?"

" Of course."

Authors Note- Damn, it's like I leave some-what cliffy's on their Birthdays every time. It's like tradition!

Sorry for the long wait, but I love you all, thanks for your patience, I sincerely appreciate it.